It was kinda weird being with Lhieon alone.
Parehas kami ngayong nasa sasakyan ni Caleb. Hiniram niya 'yung susi at umalis na kami. I just got myself my jacket and my card sa likod ng phone ko.
I just usually put it there if I don't have to bring anything with me.
We went to the nearest McDo and just went with the drive-thru.
"Ano sa'yo?" Lhieon asked while looking at something.
"Chicken Fillet with Fries tapos sundae. 'Yung regular lang, not ala king," I told him.
He ordered that and I think he added some for himself. My sudden cravings for McDo could never.
I was about to give him my card when the cashier told us the price, but he gave his card instead!
"Eh?" I reacted and he just looked at me and proceeded to drive to the second window.
"I told you…I would never let a girl pay for something, mine or not," he explained.
"I can pay for it naman,"
"Still. Kung nagpaplano ka magbayad, don't. I insist on paying,"
"You didn't insist on paying, you just paid for it," I rolled my eyes at him.
Kinukuha niya na ngayon 'yung mga binili namin from the guy who is serving it through the window.
"Don't start an argument with me. I will still insist on paying for you," he gave me the paper bags and my ice cream cup.
"Baka magkaroon ako ng utang na loob sa'yo," mahinang sambit ko.
Lhieon looked at me pero agad ding ibinalik ang tingin sa harap.
I don't like owing anyone. It feels like I needed to owe them for the rest of my life. Maybe that's my trauma for owing someone before.
"I assure you that you won't owe me anything," and we went silent.
Maybe both of us are thinking of things.
As we left the drive thru, I noticed that he was driving away from the way that we used to go in to go back at our hotel.
"Let's go for a drive. Pero kung gusto mo na magpahinga, let's head back," he told me while driving.
"Okay," I just agreed.
My cousin and I used to go to late night drives but due to our schedule, we can't both do it now. Kasama siya ng Mom niya sa US, ayon ang alam ko.
Nagplay siya ng music while we're driving around the place. I don't know the title though but chill music siya.
"Do you like music, Venus?" he suddenly asked.
I turned my eyes at him innocently, "Oo. It is my free therapy. Why?"
I love music. Alone time plus music with the view of the moon and stars? Ack!
"Nothing. Just curious," sagot niya habang nakatingin padin sa driveway.
Tumango nalang ako at ibinalik ang tingin sa kinakain.
Lagi akong nagpaatugtog sa bahay lalo na kapag mag-isa ako. Minsan nga ay nakakatulugan ko 'yung cellphone ko habang natugtog pa ito tapos nakacharge pa kaya ang init ng cellphone ko paghawak ko. Pwede na paglutuan ng itlog. Feeling ko nga bibigay na phone ko dahil sa madalas nitong pag overheat.
"Can I call you Arch? Or Ven?"
"You're already calling me that," I chuckled.
"Right," he started laughing too.
We went silent until he parked in front of a convenience store. It has tables and seats outside so we can stay and eat there.
Lumabas naman kami ng sasakyan niya at umupo sa isa sa mga table doon. Kami lang ang tao dito excluding the cashier lady na nasa loob ng store.
Kinain ko na 'yung fillet kanina sa sasakyan kaya ang kinakain ko nalang ngayon ay ang fries at ang sundae. Sinasawsaw ko 'yung fries sa sundae everytime na nabili ako ng ganito. Or if fries alone, I'll add a sundae to complete my happy food.
Lhieon and I sat in front of each other in a table. It's kinda embarrassing sitting in front of a convenience store without buying anything inside.
"To not make things awkward, do you like mcdo? Lagi kita nakikitang may dalang McDo... sa morning trainings?" Lhieon started.
"Yes. Lagi naman, same meal lang," I chuckled.
I rarely eat McDonald's chicken...
"KFC?" he asked me.
"Minsan lang. Mas malapit din kasi Mcdo sa school," may KFC naman kaso sa kabilang daanan 'yon. Hassle.
"May naghahatid sa'yo?"
Umiling ako, "Commute."
Either jeep or taxi. Pag jeep, bumababa pa ako ng McDo pero minsan dumederetso na ako sa school tapos sa canteen nalang ako bibili ng lunch. Sa taxi naman, nag paparequest nalang ako sa driver.
"Bakit hindi ka nag dorm?" he asked again.
I sighed, "I just don't want to,"
It down feel lonely, I know. Pero kasi feeling ko boring. Saka hindi ka basta makakalabas ng school sa umaga unless may susundo sa'yo.
"You're very curious with my life, huh?" I teasingly told him.
He chuckled, "Just concerned. I can't imagine myself in your shoes. Your life is... lonely and silent,"
"Where's the lie though," I chuckled.
Totoo naman kasi. I'm always with my friends and sometimes with my sister, but still, my life is like a unsolved puzzle. I'm also locked up with thoughts and things that I can't even think what.
"I think you should start doing things you rarely do yourself! Try doing it with other people, create a new environment for you but that doesn't mean you need to get rid of the environment you got used too. They will much help you figure things out you know," Lhieon told me with a slight smile plastered on his face.
"You think so?" I asked.
"Ah-huh," he answered.
By that, I started thinking about things. Being locked up with my untold thoughts isn't that healthy for me. Opening up might be the best solution for those. I can't even think if this things of mine is also ruining other people's thinking and reputations. I'm not thinking if they're thinking positive or positive things about me. My ears and mind aren't open for their advices coz' I can't handle more mind filling thoughts.
It's tiring, for me.
"I can help you with those! I just need to know you more," Lhieon excitedly told me. He sounded like a child.
Cute.
"Sure," I chuckled, "Pero bakit parang you gone through a lot?"
"Hmm?" he looked at me, "Ahh... Based on what I think lang. I didn't experienced anything like what you are experiencing but I'm telling my thought depending on what I see in you, ganon lang," he's still smiling.
"Ang matured mo mag-isip," sabi ko sakanya.
Totoo naman eh! Rare 'yung ganyan!
"Kuya things," he laughed.
And by that, we talked about a lot of things. I became comfortable with him that fast. He's good with conversations. Lhieon is like, bringing sudden topics to our conversation to make it long but entertaining. We didn't even notice the time but we didn't really care.
We even bought some food at the convenience store just to keep our conversation going.
"What if bumalik na tayo?" Lhieon asked me while chuckling.
"I think we really should," and I stood up.
I just followed him from behind while holding the hotdog that I bought from the store. I just love hotdogs.
We just let ourselves silent on our way back. I asked if I can ply my playlist on his car and he let me. Lhieon gave me the name of his car's Bluetooth.
I see the Light from Disney's Tangled. That song is just something. It was literally something!
"Can I ask you something?" Lhieon cuts our silence and I just hummed as response, "Did you ever entered a relationship before?" he asked.
That question made me look at him with asking eyes, "So sudden?"
"You can stay silent if it's too personal for you to answer," he added.
"N-no! I'm just shocked with your sudden question, that's all! But to answer your question, no. It doesn't feel like it is the right time for that. Marami pang oras, hindi din ako namamadali," like, why would I rush things?
If it is the right time, I would not avoid that. I just let my life flow.
"What if someone asked to court you?" he asked again.
I started thinking. Never experienced one coz' I've been focused with almost everything in my life but I know there's a lot of people liking on me but they kept themselves hidden from letters and anonymous tweets. It doesn't bother me at all.
"As far as I know, courting is like... making a girl fall for you whether she rejected you or not but that doesn't apply to me. Not really not but... thinking of what type of person he is, how he shows himself, I would probably depend on that. Kung he's courting me in a way of a 'whether you like it or not' statement, then basing on him was the only choice I had. By that, I can know him well, I'll know what type of person he is," I answered.
Safe option is knowing the person more. It's much more accurate to fall by how truth that person is to you. Kasi may mga tao na sa una lang mabait and stuff pero pag tumagal kayo parang nalabas what that person really is. If you don't want to end up being a negative one, then know how to properly pick your future significant other.
"Ano ba type mo?" he asked me another question.
"Not thinking of that," I said as I clicked my tongue and looked outside, "Magset pa ng type and standards kung hindi din naman makukuha 'yon kasi iba dadating," I rolled my eyes.
Where's the lie? I mean, that's true naman at some people!
"Puro siguro acads nasa isip mo," napa-iling nalang siya.
Umiling naman agad ako at lumingon sakanya, "Hoy! Hindi naman!" pag deny ko.
Lhieon laughed and we went silent again.
"Eh ikaw?" I asked him back, "Do you have any past relationships? No need to answer if uncomfy ka,"
"I do have one," he answered without hesitation, "It was like years ago when we broke up. We didn't end up in bad terms but we also didn't end up in good terms,"
"Won't you mind telling me why? Do you still love her?"
"She already reached the dream that she's chasing. And no, I don't love her anymore. Maybe there are parts in me na gusto ma clear 'yung unanswered thoughts and questions ko pero hindi na siya," Lhieon told me while smiling a little.
It is really bothering having unanswered thoughts! Nakakabaliw siya.
I was about to talk again but I was shock with the line that he added.
"May iba na e," he softly whispered but that's enough for me to hear.
"May girlfriend ka?!" I almost shouted at shock.
"Kalma! Wala akong girlfriend. May iba na pero wala akong girlfriend. I don't even know if I have a chance on that person," he was talking but still focused on the road.
Akala ko meron! Kasi naman, 'yung pagkakasabi niya ay parang meron talaga! Sinong hindi magdududa doon?!
But that made me think, "How does it feel to be loved by someone that is not related to you?"
Lhieon looked at me but he immediately put his sight back in the road.
"It feels good, so good. But in the other hand, it hurts... sometimes. You should really choose who to love," he stated.
We went silent the whole ride back after that conversation.
Thinking of things that I haven't experienced. Being loved by friends are different topics but being loved by a person you wanted to spend your whole life with is different. Like thinking of both of you growing yourselves together. Being understanding of each other's things including the breakdowns and busyness. Especially being treated right and honestly. I was thinking of how does that feel?
It feels good but it somehow hurts daw. Pero picking the right person won't hurt that much naman, right? Being with the rightful person will not pain us that much. I believe.