"The class play…?" she repeated.
"Yeah," I said firmly. "For the school festival."
I wasn't sure why, but I wanted so badly to see the class
act out her story.
"B-but…," she said hesitantly, lowering her eyes.
I could hear her pessimism, but the underlying message
was not so much a no as an I'm scared.
I stayed as honest and up-front as I could. "I'd love to see
it."
"R-really…?" She looked away, stuttering a little.
"I don't want to pressure you…but is it totally out of the
question?"
Of course, it would only work if she wanted to do it. I
wasn't about to force her to write something just because I
wanted to see it.
"It's not impossible, but…"
"But what?"
I was leaning forward eagerly, but she was still thinking.
Her voice was like the wind caressing a flower to share its
secrets. "That last story…was actually the first of the five that
I started."
"…Oh, really?"
She nodded. "At first, it went very smoothly, and I liked
all the characters very much. I shouldn't say this as an
author…but I loved that story more than the others."
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"…Yeah."
Just listening to her gentle voice was such a pleasant
feeling, as if her words were slipping directly into my mind.
I listened quietly—no need to interject.
"But that was the problem… I couldn't decide how I
wanted to end a story I loved so much. I didn't know what I
wanted to happen to characters who were so close to my
heart."
She stroked her manuscript like she was caressing a baby.
"So I couldn't finish it."
"…Oh."
Her words made perfect sense.
I didn't know anything about the craft of writing. But just
by reading it, I could tell she had put her heart into that
story. There must be some very strong feelings behind it.
"It's really important to me, so I'm afraid of ruining it…"
"Okay, I understand."
The more you loved something, the more scared you were
to lose it. Maybe making it the class play was insensitive of
me.
"Maybe it's better if you give yourself the time to finish it
when you're ready."
I felt satisfied with that conclusion.
Kikuchi-san nodded. "Yes, that might be best," she said.
Then she went on.
"But then again, it might not be."
She smiled teasingly.
I stared at her blankly.
"I used to be scared of so many things outside my own
world." Her eyes glittered like jade, looking brightly toward
the future. "When I watched you jump out from your own
lonely world into an unknown universe…it made me think."
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I didn't know where she was looking or what she saw
ahead of her. But—
"I want to see that world, too."
—I knew whatever it was, it was real.
She gave me one of those slightly shy smiles typical of a
teenage girl.
"So I'd like to try writing the play."
That smile was filled with the immense strength of a timid
girl taking one step into the unknown.
* * *
After school that day, we had a class meeting about the
school festival. The whole committee was standing in front
of the class.
The topic of conversation was the play. We'd decided to
do an original without having a script or even an idea in
mind, and we had to choose something soon, so everyone
was getting more and more anxious.
I had one goal: get the class to choose Kikuchi-san's story
for the play.
"What kind of story should we do?" Izumi asked the class.
There was a long silence. After all, we had decided to do
an original basically on the spur of the moment.
I watched the class, waiting for an appropriate amount of
silence to pass, then seized my opportunity. "Um…can I say
something?"
Everyone looked at me. Being the center of attention did
make me nervous, but I was getting used to it. Today was
already better than the previous day. I guess my magic
resistance must have increased. Incidentally, Kikuchi-san's
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eyes were wide-open, and her hand was over her mouth.
"You've got an idea?" Mizusawa asked.
I nodded. "Um, I have a possible script…"
Out of the corner of my eye, I glimpsed Hinami raising
her eyebrows in surprise. No matter how proactive she
wanted me to be, she probably didn't expect me to bring in a
script. Too bad, Hinami. This isn't an assignment—it's just
something I want to do.
"Nice going, Brain! That's what I was waiting for!"
Mimimi said encouragingly. I made an enthusiastic noise to
buy time.
"So what is it?" Mizusawa said, apparently eagerly
anticipating my answer. In one sense, their total belief in me
made my job easier, but in another sense, disappointing
them was way scarier.
"Well, take a look…," I said, holding out the last story
from Kikuchi-san's manuscript to Mizusawa. Everyone was
watching the two of us. Oof.
"Oh, you've already got something?" he said, flipping
through the beginning. "…Huh." He scanned the first two
pages or so, nodding a couple of times. "It's really well
written, but who's it by? You?"
"No, it wasn't me."
"Oh, then who?"
"Uh…"
Mizusawa handed the manuscript back to me. "I think it
looks good. I don't know the whole story, but I can tell it's
well-done."
"Hey, I wanna see!" Mimimi grabbed the manuscript. She
stared at it intently for ten seconds or so. "…This is better
than I was expecting!"
Could she really tell from spending only ten seconds
looking at the first page? Was she just overwhelmed by all
the words, or was she actually an avid reader who could get a
sense of a story from the first couple of lines? Mimimi was a
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surprisingly serious student, so the latter was more likely
than you'd think.
Some kids in our class were starting to wonder out loud
what it was like, so I handed copies of the manuscript to the
person at the head of each row—Kikuchi-san and I had
printed them out earlier using the printer next to the dining
hall. It would have been better to make a summary or
something, but we didn't have time for that.
"You sure are well prepared!" Izumi said, sounding
surprised. What are you thinking, Izumi? If a low-level
character isn't prepared, he'll get creamed in battle.
"We don't have much time, so how about everyone just
reads through the beginning?" I said to the class. For a
second, I was almost leading the meeting. Impressive
involvement in the school festival, eh?
I waited a couple of minutes, watching the reactions.
People started chatting among themselves.
"Interesting…"
"I like it!"
"This is the real deal!"
"Yeah…"
"It's like a novel!"
Hmm. The overall response was positive, but they didn't
seem to be 100 percent excited about it. But that's about
what you can expect for this sort of thing, I think.
To start with, a lot of people were probably turned off by
the fact that it was a formally written story, so expecting
unanimous approval was unrealistic. I mean, the members
of Erika Konno's group were basically wandering around the
back of the class without reading at all, so getting every
student on board would literally be impossible. I figured it
was enough for people to understand it was a solid piece of
writing.
"I was thinking we could use this as a base for talking
about how to adapt it and deciding on the roles and stuff," I
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said. After all, the story wasn't even finished, so that process
was inevitable.
Okay. The groundwork was mostly done. Considering no
one else had a suggestion and I'd come this well prepared,
the likelihood of my proposal being rejected was pretty low.
It wasn't like the class had decided to do a play because they
had their heart set on anything already.
"But who wrote this?" asked a member of the organizing
committee—uh, Seno-san, I think? She was one of Mimimi's
friends who usually took notes when we had meetings and
hung out a lot with Kashiwazaki-san, my Instagram follower.
"Uh, um…" I glanced at Kikuchi-san, and she nodded.
Okay, I'm good to go. "It's by Kikuchi-san, in our class," I
said loudly enough for everyone to hear.
Mizusawa and Mimimi snapped their heads in my
direction.
"Oh, okay. I see now," he said with a laugh.
I wondered what exactly he was seeing, but it wasn't really
something I could joke around about, so I just nodded and
said, "Yeah."
All Mimimi said was, "Oh. Really?" Her voice was
strangely flat.
I turned to the rest of the committee members. "If there
aren't any other suggestions, I think it would be great to use
Kikuchi-san's story as the basis for an original play… What
do you think?"
Several committee members agreed, saying things like,
"Yeah, it could work" and "Why not?" Again, not totally
decisive, but everyone seemed to recognize we didn't have
any other options, and the story was solid. Also, since
Kikuchi-san was always so quiet and serious, her image
probably didn't hurt.
"So…does anyone else have an idea?" Izumi asked the
class again. Predictably, no one raised their hand.
"Okay, so let's go with this then," Mizusawa said with his
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usual coolness. "Kikuchi-san, think you can bring a simple
outline of the story next time?"
Kikuchi-san gave a start, then nodded awkwardly. "Ookay."
Mizusawa smiled. "All right. And after that, we can decide
on roles."
"Sounds good!" Izumi replied.
"And we should probably post the manuscript somewhere
that everyone can access."
"Good idea!"
Mizusawa had taken over the leadership role, and Izumi
was happily backing him up. Especially there at the end.
Izumi, are you gonna let him take your job?
"Kikuchi-san, think you can post the file online?"
"Y-yes!" She nodded earnestly, even though she looked
like she was in shock.
"Okay. How about I set up a LINE group for the school
festival that everyone can join?"
"Y-yes, that's fine."
Everything was falling into place so neatly. Mizusawa had
mentioned the LINE group super casually, but I wondered if
everyone in class knew how to use it. I guess between
Mizusawa's friends and Hinami's, most people in class
would be covered. In fact, up till a couple months ago, I
might have been the only one who didn't have it.
"So I'm starring, right?!" Takei said.
"No way," Nakamura shot back.
"What?!"
The class laughed at the usual routine.
Anyway, this was looking up. The pieces had fallen into
place for now.
Once the manuscript became our class play, a lot more
people would see it.
I glanced at Kikuchi-san, and she bowed very briefly
toward me with a reassured smile on her face. She was so
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conscientious.
I felt someone looking at me from the side, so I turned to
see who it was. Mimimi was standing there, but her
attention was elsewhere. Huh. I must have imagined it.
* * *
After that, the discussion turned to the manga café, and the
class started talking excitedly about how to decorate the
booth, what to serve, and who would bring what series. The
committee wrote down what we'd need to get, and the
meeting was over. Huh. I was kinda surprised; the café was
probably gonna be a lot of fun, too. I might even be able to
enjoy this school festival like a normal person.
Once the discussion was over, we started making stuff like
the decorations, signs, and menus. I hung out with
Nakamura's group and worked on firing comebacks
whenever he tried to tease me, which happened a lot. It was
pretty fun, but I should be using the free time to work on
Hinami's assignments.
Since everyone was working on festival prep for the rest of
the day, most students were busy with some project or other.
So if I was smart about it, I should be able to work on my
quest.
I pulled up the chat messages from Hinami to see what
was left on my photo list.
• A shot of Takahiro Mizusawa wearing glasses
• A shot of Yuzu Izumi eating ice cream
• A shot of at least two girls you've never talked to
before
• A shot of you with Fuka Kikuchi
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Narrowing that down further, I realized the Izumi shot
would be tough because of the ice cream. It wasn't
impossible, since the cafeteria sold ice cream, but if I asked
her to eat it now, she'd probably be like, What, again? so
that quest was weirdly risky. Also, pulling her out of Konno's
group would be hard.
As for the Mizusawa quest, I was reaching the point where
I could just ask him to do some things, but I didn't know
how to get him to put glasses on. No one I talked to a lot
usually wore glasses. Kikuchi-san only seemed to wear hers
at work. Should I take him to a store that sold them and
convince him to try a pair or two? The next day was
Saturday. I'd probably have to come up with a strategy and
meet with him over the weekend.
That left two options. I decided to try getting the photo I
was less likely to be able to get under ordinary
circumstances. Since I'd have plenty of chances to take a
photo with Kikuchi-san in the library or when we were
discussing the script, that meant the shot of at least two girls
I'd never talked to before was at the top of the list. Plus, the
mood right now made it easy to start a conversation with
anyone.
As I worked on coloring menus and writing funny graffiti
on them with Nakamura's gang, I looked over at Hinami's
group. A picture of Kashiwazaki-san and Seno-san was
probably the only thing I could manage right now. Since I
hadn't ever talked to either of them when Hinami gave me
the assignment, they'd count as "girls I'd never talked to."
The two of them were drawing some stuff on a big piece of
vellum paper with Hinami, Mimimi, and Tama-chan.
I kept glancing over at them, waiting for the right
moment, and my eyes kept meeting Mimimi's. What? She
kept smiling at me, too. What? What does that mean?
Eventually, Mimimi bounced excitedly over to us, like she
wanted to know what was up. I wasn't looking at you,
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Mimimi! Tama-chan came with her and was looking
absently at Hinami, Kashiwazaki-san, and Seno-san. Hmm.
"Why do you keep looking at us?!" Mimimi asked me.
"I think you're imagining it!" Tama-chan shot back
sharply.
"Yeah, you definitely are," I piled on.
Mimimi gaped at me suspiciously. "No way, our eyes met
a million times!"
"I don't remember that!"
As we bantered back and forth and I tried to figure out
how to steer this toward my assignment, Mimimi suddenly
caught me off guard.
"Hey! When did you and Kikuchi-san have your private
meeting?! You really pulled this together fast!"
"Oh…uh, well…" I dodged, while Mimimi pouted.
"Guess you're just really taking to the director role?"
"No…"
She was being weirdly nosy. I didn't know what to say, so
I changed the subject and tried to steer the conversation in a
direction that would help achieve my quest.
"By the way…what are you guys doing over there?"
I glanced at Hinami and the other two girls.
"We're trying to figure out a design for the hallway side of
the booth!" Tama-chan said.
"Ah, I see."
Mimimi nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, wanna see?" she
said, looking toward their group.
Takei jumped in. "I do!!"
"Guess I'll go, too, then," I said, acting like I was just
going along with him.
"Okay, come on!"
With that, Takei and I merged with Hinami's group. If I
was going to have a buddy in this guerrilla operation,
Nakamura or Mizusawa would have been more reassuring,
but what could I do? I'd have to rely on myself this time.
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Takei, Mimimi, Tama-chan, and I headed into the Land of
Girls.
"Ta-daa! Here it is!" Mimimi flapped her hands as she
revealed the design.
"…Ooh," I said in awe.
The big sheet was covered with childish pop-art images of
foods, drinks, and comic books.
Someone was obviously good at drawing, and their work
was scattered around at critical spots. Because of that, the
overall design avoided looking too disorganized and instead
clearly expressed the concept of a "kid's drawing."
It was a smart way of making the whole thing look good
even if some members of the group couldn't draw very well…
My guess was Hinami was behind that idea. When I looked
over at her, she was grinning from ear to ear and drawing a
childish picture of a fried egg. Huh, never saw her looking
that kid-like before…
"Wow, that looks awesome!" Takei said, obviously
impressed.
"Right?! Would you like to draw something, Takei-san?"
Seno-san asked excitedly.
"No way, really?!" He picked up one of the crayons that
was lying around and started to mull over what to draw.
Restraint was not in his vocabulary.
Hmm. Why not say that?
"I think he was just waiting for you to ask," I joked.
And then…
…not only Mimimi, Hinami, and Tama-chan, but
Kashiwazaki-san and Seno-san giggled.
S-so…
"Ah-ha-ha. Right? He's already holding a crayon!"
Kashiwazaki-san agreed, turning to me. Seno-san, who was
standing next to her, was smiling at me, too. Wait a second,
what was going on? Unless I was imagining things, they
seemed eager to bring me into their circle.
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That was a surprise, but I reminded myself to keep my
voice even and come up with a witty reply. What would get
everyone laughing even more?
"Exactly!"
I couldn't think of anything, so I just relied on the cheerful
tone. Typical bottom-tier character behavior.
"Hey, I saw your Insta! That picture of Tama-chan
cracked me up!" Seno-san said to me. H-huh, what's
happening now? I didn't understand how, but I'd somehow
started a conversation with two girls at once.
This situation was clearly beyond my skill level, so I went
back to the most basic of basics and drummed up my
confidence with my posture.
But I still couldn't think of anything to say, so I decided to
mention what I was thinking when I took the picture of
Tama-chan. It sounded like something I came up with on the
spot, but it wasn't.
"Yeah, that's an amazing photo, right? She's like a
supernova."
Seno-san laughed again. "So dramatic!"
R-really? That went well. Good thing I'm always talking
to myself. My brain was about to explode, but I propped up
my confidence with physicality instead.
"Ooh, show me! I wanna see!" Mimimi interrupted
curiously.
"Um, here…"
I pulled up the picture, and she apparently found it
hilarious.
"Ah-ha-ha! You're so damn cute, Tama!"
"You said it, not me," Tama-chan replied, a proud
expression on her face. She wouldn't have done that a few
weeks earlier. She was still herself—just easier to get close
to.
Hinami leaned over, too, and smiled as if she'd never seen
it before.
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"Ah-ha-ha, agreed! She's so cute, I think we should draw
her face right here!" she said, pointing to the vellum paper.
"Let's not take this too far!" Tama-chan said, and
everyone laughed.
As I listened to their conversation, I thought about how to
achieve my photo quest.
Everyone in this group knew I'd started an Instagram.
Actually, based on how Kashiwazaki-san and Seno-san were
acting toward me, I think they saw me as "the guy who just
started an Instagram."
Which meant this would probably work…
I waited for a pause in the conversation to make my
proposal.
"…How about we all take a silly picture?"
Mimimi took the bait. "Ooh, good idea. You guys are
toast!"
"It's not a competition, Mimimi!"
Everyone smiled at Hinami's quick comeback. I'd thought
of saying the exact same thing, but my reflexes were way
slower than hers. Sometimes, the mentor swoops down and
crushes the disciple.
As I was getting my camera ready to take the picture,
Tama-chan held out her hand toward me.
"Huh?" I looked at her hand blankly.
"You already have a picture of me, so why don't you get in
the shot with everyone?"
"…Oh, okay, thanks."
I lined up with everyone, grateful for the straightforward
gesture of kindness. We made two rows and waited for
Tama-chan to get the camera ready. By the way, Takei, and
only Takei, was already making his face. Seriously, dude?
Finally, Tama-chan said she was good to go. Um, okay,
silly face, right? The other day, she'd given me a little
tutorial on how to do it right, so I'd be fine if I followed her
instructions. I nervously made my expression. Never
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guessed that lecture would come in handy so soon…
"Say cheese!"
As soon as the camera clicked, everyone rushed at Tamachan asking how it came out. We gathered around the
screen, and there the six of us were, each putting our all into
making our own version of a funny face. You could find a
picture like this on any real popular kid's Instagram. Wwow. Was this really on my phone?
Kashiwazaki-san smiled as she looked at the picture. "No
way! Tomozaki-kun is making the same face as Tama-chan!"
She was pointing at my face—which, since I was carefully
following Tama-chan's instructions, looked exactly like hers.
Seno-san and everyone else started laughing, and for a
second, the mood was high.
Wh-what's going on? It's like having an Instagram made
everyone instantly accept me.
Tama-chan returned my phone, and I was
absentmindedly taking part in the conversation when Takei
eagerly turned to me.
"That's a great shot, Farm Boy! Send it to me, okay?"
"Huh? Uh, okay."
I was happy someone wanted my picture, even if it was
Takei, so I sent it to him on LINE without thinking much
about it.
"Thanks! I'm posting this baby on Twitter!"
"…Huh?"
And so, thanks to my own carelessness, the happy story of
my first good photo came to a tragic end when Takei put it
on Twitter before I could get it on Instagram. Takei. Come
on. You never know where your enemies may be lurking.
* * *
That day as I walked home with Nakamura's group, I
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wondered what I should do.
It was Friday. That meant I was heading into the
weekend, when I had to get two of my assignments done.
The three remaining assignments were a shot of
Mizusawa wearing glasses, a shot of Izumi eating ice cream,
and a shot of me with Kikuchi-san. I should probably
prioritize the one of Mizusawa wearing glasses, since I had
no idea how to get that one at school.
That meant I had to invite Mizusawa to hang out on either
Saturday or Sunday, but the problem was, I didn't know how
to do it.
I mean, how did people invite each other to do stuff
anyway? I'd asked Kikuchi-san to go to the movies together,
but we had the Andi books in common. What did I have in
common with someone as cool and good-looking as
Mizusawa? Basically nothing. We were both human, I guess,
and we went to the same high school and had the same parttime job. That was it. I didn't think we had any of the same
hobbies or anything.
But the longer I walked along doing nothing, the more
time passed, and the fewer opportunities I had to extend an
invitation at all.
Mizusawa and I were walking a few steps behind
Nakamura and Takei, who were goofing around as usual. I
turned to Mizusawa.
"Hey, I was wondering…"
"Yeah?" he answered distractedly. He was busy with his
phone while I was struggling to get this damn assignment
done!
"Are you free tomorrow or the next day?"
That got his attention. "What's up? That came out of
nowhere."
"Uh, I know," I said, fumbling for words. "I wanted to go
somewhere."
"…Where?"
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Mizusawa frowned. Of course he did. Who asks someone
to hang out without at least suggesting something? Ugh, I
should have thought this through better.
"No, I mean, I don't have plans, so I thought we could just
go wherever…"
"Aha!" he said, seeming to realize something. "So you're
free tomorrow?"
He was leaning toward me—so of course, I leaned away.
"Y-yeah, I'm free."
Mizusawa grinned. "Well, that's perfect, then."
"…Perfect?"
He thumped me on the back. "I'm going to a school
festival."
"You are?"
"Yeah, Gumi's is this weekend. It's invitation only, but I've
got two tickets."
"Oh, okay."
Mizusawa raised one eyebrow and smiled. "I was gonna
go on Sunday with someone from work, but if you're free
tomorrow, that's perfect."
"Ah, gotcha. Yeah, let's go then."
I was flustered by this unexpected turn of events, but I
agreed. I probably wouldn't get a better chance than this. I'd
never been to a festival at another school, but I was grateful
he'd chosen a place to go.
"Okay, it starts around ten tomorrow. Let's figure out the
details on LINE."
"Sounds good."
"We can scout out another school's festival to get ideas for
ours."
"Y-yeah, true."
Mizusawa wasn't nervous at all; meanwhile, I was already
getting uneasy thinking about the following day. Behold, the
unbridgeable void between bottom-tier characters and
normies.
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"Okay, that's a plan."
"Uh, yeah."
Maybe Mizusawa noticed I was nervous, because he said
in a joking tone, "By the way, Gumi goes to a girls' school."
"A g-girls' school…?"
That struck fear into my heart. Wait a second, a girls'
school? We're screwed, right? This is like final-dungeonlevel, right?
* * *
The next day, I found myself at Kitayono Station, where we'd
agreed to meet. Apparently, Gumi-chan's school was by the
station near my house.
Mizusawa sauntered out of the exit gate and waved at me.
"Hey."
"H-hey."
I tried to answer with the same attitude, but I was so
nervous about what we were about to do that I stuttered a
little. Man, I thought I'd mastered greetings so well that I
didn't even have to think about them anymore. Would I even
be able to complete my assignment in this state? The festival
itself was going to take everything I had. Plus, I highly
doubted they'd be selling glasses there, so now what was I
supposed to do?
"Ready to head over?"
Incidentally, we were both wearing our uniforms. I'd sent
Mizusawa a LINE message asking him if people wore street
clothes or school uniforms to this kind of thing. He said
either was fine, but he'd do whatever I did, so I chose the
uniform. That was because I still hadn't bought a warm,
decent-looking jacket, and it was getting cold. According to
Hinami, that was something fashionable people did before
the weather changed, but as a fashion-backward individual,
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it occurred to me a bit too late.
"Here's your ticket."
"Oh, thanks."
He handed me a yellow slip of paper with Tokusei High
School Festival printed on it. In the column labeled "Host,"
Tsugumi Narita was written there in glittery, fluorescent
ink. The rounded characters were exactly how I'd imagine a
high school girl would write. When it came to that kind of
stuff, Gumi-chan was a bit too trend-conscious.
A bunch of students were lined up around us, with some
wearing uniforms and others in street clothes. They were
probably headed for the festival.
"We've gotta take the bus," Mizusawa said, so we got on
one going toward the school.
After we reached our stop, Mizusawa used the map on his
phone to lead us inside. Damn it, I feel like I'm being
escorted…
Once we passed through a gate, which was decorated with
handmade-looking garlands and paper flowers, and got onto
the school grounds, I saw groups of kids in uniforms and
street clothes milling around. There were probably slightly
more girls than guys. And all the guys were from other
schools, of course. They really came out in droves.
"Wanna just wander around for a while?"
"Yeah, sure," I said, making a strong effort to remain
calm. Mizusawa frowned at me.
"…Are you nervous about something?"
"W-wouldn't anyone be?" I replied honestly.
Mizusawa cackled. "Relax those shoulders! Smile, man,
smile!" He gave me one of his own easy smiles.
"O-okay."
I copied that expression, at least on the surface. Okay, I
think I just got 10 percent less nervous. Fake it till you make
it and all that.
We went into the school building and looked around. The
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walls of the hallway were covered with the kind of cute
decorations you might expect to see at a girls' school, and
each classroom had a sign outside. HAUNTED HOUSE,
OKONOMIYAKI AND YAKISOBA, ESCAPE ROOM… I guess everyone
had essentially the same ideas.
Mizusawa looked over the crowd in the hall.
"Right, let's go over the basics of hitting on girls," he said
matter-of-factly.
I flinched. "Whoa, that's some lecture to be getting all of a
sudden!"
"Look, why else would two guys go to a festival at a girls'
school?"
"But you said we were doing recon…"
"Ha-ha-ha. That's just our cover story."
"What the hell…?"
I couldn't keep up. Was this ordinary life for a normie?
Was that possible?
"Okay, it's not as big a deal as what you're thinking. All I
mean is chatting up girls our age who we don't know. It's like
when you join a new class, basically."
He thumped my shoulder. Honestly, what was he talking
about…?
"Well, since girls have never talked to me when I joined a
new class, I guess I didn't need to be nervous."
"Ha-ha-ha! That works!" he said, laughing like I'd just
said the most hilarious thing. Then he went on in a casual
tone. "Just take it easy, all right?"
"I definitely can't."
This was all so sudden; I didn't understand half of what
he was saying. None of it felt real, so I didn't know what to
do. In part, I literally didn't know what to do, and just
hearing the phrase hit on girls brought to mind a game for
only the most popular of normies, the kings of
communication.
"Okay," Mizusawa said, hesitating for a moment. "Look,
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hitting on girls is no risk, high return."
"No risk?"
To me, it seemed like nothing but risk.
"Just think about it. Say you try talking to a girl here and
it gets awkward. Worst case, she happens to be in Gumi's
class, and you'll probably hear about it from Gumi later. But
what if no one knows about it? If you fail, that won't impact
the rest of your life at all, right?"
His expression was completely laid-back.
"Um, that's…," I said, trying futilely to think of a
counterargument. "I mean, you might be right, but…"
"I am right." Mizusawa gave an offhand smile. "Now
imagine if it goes well, and you get her LINE. High return."
As he talked, he was smoothly tapping his phone screen.
He pulled up the QR code screen on LINE and showed it to
me. What sleight of hand was this?
"Come on, you're a little too good at pulling that up!"
"Ha-ha-ha. Guilty as charged." He returned to the home
screen of his phone, smiling. "But listen. You've got nothing
to lose and plenty to gain. How can you say no to that?"
"I do like having time at home for Atafami, so getting
more LINE contacts isn't necessarily a good thing."
Mizusawa laughed, brushing me off.
"What are you talking about? If you don't wanna talk
after, just don't make any dates."
"Guess that would work…"
Once again, I had no counterargument. Damn.
"The choice is yours, right? Play Atafami or go on a date
with a girl. Wouldn't you at least want the option to choose?"
"I guess…getting the contacts is at least backward
compatible. You're right."
In logical terms, there was no question that if you could
choose to have the freedom to choose, then that's what you
should do. The rationale was deeply instilled, so I couldn't
evade Mizusawa's question.
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"Exactly. So you've gotta do it, right?"
"Uh, is that the logical consequence?"
"Okay, let's get started with our first group."
"Huh?"
Mizusawa stepped away from me as lightly as a leaf
floating on the wind and approached a pair of girls walking
down the hallway. One had brown hair, and the other had
black. They both looked like typical high school normies.
Seriously, Mizusawa?
I tagged along timidly, half trying to hide behind him, and
watched the situation unfold.
"Hi!" Mizusawa stepped in front of the girls and spread
his arms out.
They turned to each other in surprise and then turned to
him as he pointed to the cotton candy they were holding.
"That looks amazing!" He sounded like he was talking to
his best friend. "Did you make it yourself to bring here?"
Both girls laughed.
"Good guess, but no! We bought it over there!"
"Oh, really? I thought you both were just really into cotton
candy."
"Ah-ha-ha, what does that even mean?"
"No, I just thought if you decided to bring it to the festival,
you must be a huge fan."
Less than a minute had passed since he started talking to
them. Already, the mood was relaxing. I just stood there
watching, scared out of my wits.
"Seriously, though, can I try some? It looks so fluffy."
"What? No way!" the brown-haired girl said. Mizusawa
shook his head calmly, then pointed to the black-haired girl.
"Oh, no, I was talking to your friend over here."
"Ah-ha-ha, jerk!" The brown-haired girl laughed happily.
Mizusawa looked at the black-haired girl. "But really, do
you mind?"
"Uh, okay, I guess…"
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She held the whole mass out to him, and he took a big
bite. "Whoa, that…really tastes like cotton candy!" he said.
Both the girls laughed.
"Wonder why!" one of them said.
Huh? What is going on? This is getting sillier and sillier.
"Hey, what's his deal?" the black-haired girl asked
Mizusawa.
"Who, me?"
"Is he by himself?"
Mizusawa threw me a glance before answering. "He's here
with a friend, but they got separated. Actually, if you see
him, can you tell us?"
"How do we know what he looks like?"
"I'll describe him. He has two eyes…"
"Oh, very helpful!"
"…three noses…"
The girls laughed at his smoothly delivered joke.
"Ah-ha-ha. Oh my god, stop!"
"So will you tell us if you see him?"
After another deadpan joke, the ball was in the girls'
court.
"Ah-ha-ha, sure thing. If we see any guys with three noses,
we'll let you know!"
"Okay, thanks! Oh, how will you get in touch if you find
him? Write a letter?"
"Pfft, what the heck?"
"Hmm, then how about LINE?"
"What do you think?"
"Um…"
They looked at each other, unsure. Even though they were
having fun a second ago, as soon as it came to exchanging
contact info, shit got real.
But Mizusawa had a joke for that, too. "Yeah, snail mail is
definitely better."
"Ah-ha-ha! No, I don't think so. Too much work!"
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"Right. Plus, I don't want to tell you my address. So what
do we do?"
"Yeah, let's do LINE. A little faster than the mail!"
"Got it. Here, scan this."
Unsurprisingly, the QR code was already pulled up on his
phone.
"God, you're shameless!"
"Perish the thought! I'm just concerned for this lost boy."
"Ah-ha-ha, right, I forgot."
I stared in a daze as the three of them exchanged LINE
IDs. They all seemed to be having a great time.
I was at a total loss for words.
The girls waved good-bye to him like they were old friends
as Mizusawa walked toward me, smug with success. Based
on what I'd just witnessed, he'd earned it.
He strolled over to my side, turning toward me
confidently. "So what's my grade?"
"A-plus, sir."
I had to bow down before his strength.
This guy was multiple levels higher than I'd even
imagined.
* * *
"I underestimated you…"
We were both hungry, so we'd headed over to a stall
labeled RAMEN and got two servings of what was clearly
instant ramen dumped into bowls.
"That time went off without a hitch. Just consider me a
master."
"Oh, uh-huh…"
After what I'd seen, he could say whatever he wanted, and
I'd still be kissing his feet.
"So do you know what my thought process was?"
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"Nope, no idea," I said without missing a beat. There's no
way I could figure it out! I hadn't even caught a glimpse.
He chuckled with amusement. "Okay, I'll walk you
through it."
"Please do."
He was the programmer, and I was the machine. I mean,
this was an incredible skill for an amateur to learn. Just
listening to him explain it should rack up a lot of EXP, so of
course I would listen. He was an incredible mentor, but in a
different way from Hinami.
"So the first step…is striking up a conversation."
I thought back to the exchange. "Uh, I do remember you
saying 'hi.'"
Mizusawa frowned. "Did I?"
"You don't remember?"
He shook his head.
"How can you not remember?"
Didn't he say he was going to give me a walkthrough? I
mean, I'd never talked to someone I didn't know before, but
the first word did seem important. And he already forgot.
"Well, it's like, the first time you talk to someone, the
words aren't that important."
"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.
"Listen," he said, pausing to gather his thoughts. "It's not
really what you say—it's how you say it."
"…How you say it?"
He nodded. "Think about it. If you're not expecting
someone to start talking to you and then some guy you don't
know comes up and says something, do you think you'd even
register what words he's using?"
I played it out in my mind. I'm walking along, and
suddenly, a guy I don't know comes up and starts talking to
me…
"No…probably not."
"Right?" Mizusawa smirked. "The goal of the first word is
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to get their attention. As long as you do that, it doesn't
matter what you say. You could say Hi or What are you
doing? or There's a goat over there."
"A goat…?"
I was thrown off by the example.
"Ha-ha-ha. The point is, anything goes. You want to get
their attention, so what you really need to watch is where
you're standing, what face you're making, how you talk, and
stuff like that—not the exact words."
"Oh, okay," I said. That lined up with what I'd learned in
my special training. "And your posture, too?"
"Yeah, exactly! You're starting to catch on." He nodded,
looking pleased.
"Uh, thanks."
He was acting very superior, but I couldn't argue after
watching him work.
"Once they notice you and you know they're not going to
just ignore you again, that's when the conversation starts."
"So anything you say before then is meaningless…" That
was news to me, and we were still only at the beginning. The
heavenly realm really is different.
"After that, you can ask them questions or tease them
about something they're holding—basically, have a random
conversation."
"Wait a second. What do you mean, 'a random
conversation'? That's the hard part."
I'd let my mind wander for one second, and he'd left me in
the dust. This is why people who are good at everything are
so hard to deal with.
"Ha-ha-ha. Okay, I'll teach you the basics. It's actually
really simple. If you make a joke about something there in
the moment, like the cotton candy with those two girls, it's
easy for them to respond."
"Ah, I see."
"Chances are good they're already interested."
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I understood what he was saying intuitively. If they'd just
bought cotton candy, then they probably had something to
say about it.
"Then once you've got the conversation going, the next big
step is… You know how I asked for a bite? That's a little
technique of mine."
"Technique?"
I tried to figure out what that would accomplish, even
before he explained it. That would help me learn better.
Maybe it had to do with getting close to them by eating
the same food? This was all a bit advanced for me, so I
couldn't think of a very good answer.
What would be the result of asking for a bite?
I waited for Mizusawa to reveal the answer.
"Basically, you take control of the conversation."
"How so?"
"Okay, so picking up girls means we're the ones
approaching them, which puts us in the position of chasing
after them."
"Yeah, I can see that."
It was like a guerrilla-warfare approach to saying, I want
to talk to you.
"But by asking them for something, like a bite of their
food, you can even out the relationship again. You can
pretend you approached them because you wanted some of
their cotton candy."
"O-oh…"
I definitely hadn't expected that answer. Man, the
difficulty level of this conversation was steadily rising. What
looked at first glance like casual joking around was actually a
fine tuning of the relationship. Unlike Nakamura's power
plays, this normie skill was almost too delicate.
"The instant they sense you're flirting because you want
positive attention, they lose interest. You have to control the
pace of the conversation."
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I parsed that information. "And that's what you call taking
control of the conversation?"
Mizusawa smiled. "You're catching on. That's about right.
If you want her to be more interested in you, you have to
stay in the driver's seat."
"Huh…"
I realized Hinami had made me do something similar in
my assignments. Messing with people and pushing through
my opinion were prime examples. If I did it enough, I'd have
control of the conversation…I think. Hmm. Mizusawa's
teachings and Hinami's teachings were linking up now.
"That's why when the one girl said she wouldn't give me
her cotton candy, I said I was talking to her friend, not to
her. That's another way to keep in charge. It showed I was
the one doing the choosing, so I could keep directing the
conversation."
"Y-you were really putting that much thought into
everything you said…?"
There was so much meaning in every action, I was
starting to feel like I was watching a street performer.
But I still had questions. "Okay, but they must have
known you didn't really come over because you wanted
cotton candy, right?"
He could pretend all he wanted, but it was obvious that he
was trying to hit on them. They'd never believe it was just
about the cotton candy, so wasn't his whole strategy
ultimately pointless?
"Yes, that's true, but…" Mizusawa's voice was oddly full of
emotion. He smiled and tilted his head before continuing.
"When you talk to a girl, the pretense is important. This part
may be a little hard to understand."
"Really…?"
Mizusawa went on at a pleasant clip. "I did the same thing
when we were exchanging LINE IDs, remember? I said I
wanted them to send me a message on LINE if they saw your
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friend, and I said LINE would be better than snail mail,
right?"
"Uh-huh…"
"We weren't really talking about your friend, either,
right?"
It was starting to make sense. I could see the similarity.
"The way you did it made it easier for them to give you their
LINE info…," I said, replaying the conversation in my mind.
Just when it seemed like they were going to turn him down,
he'd made a casual joke and rallied the mood to his side.
"Exactly! The whole song and dance may seem pointless
on the surface, but it's really crucial."
I was nodding nonstop, almost against my will.
The two girls didn't genuinely share their LINE info with
him so they could get in touch if they found my imaginary
friend, and they must have known Mizusawa never had any
intention of exchanging pen-and-ink letters. But the facade
had made it easier to trade contact info. Interesting. The
proof is in the pudding. Or something.
"The next key to remember…is the fact that Mako-chan
gave me a bite of her cotton candy."
"M-Mako-chan…?"
"The black-haired girl."
"You're already on a first-name basis?" I smiled forlornly,
to which Mizusawa responded with a matter-of-fact nod.
"That's not really important. Getting back to my point…"
"Oh right."
His baseline was just too different from mine. Calling girls
by their first name was apparently normal for him.
"…the fact that she gave me a bite of her cotton candy
indicates either that she was letting down her guard a little,
or that she wasn't too guarded to start with. Either way, she
was easy to approach."
"O-oh, that's what it means…"
When you think about it, sharing cotton candy meant an
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indirect you-know-what with someone you just met. That
would be tough for me.
"After that, Mako-chan asked what you were doing. This
is the most important point so far."
"Oh. W-wait, what's so important about that?"
Shit. Everything he'd said so far had caught me off guard,
but now I was completely lost.
He grinned. "You can't guess? Okay. Up till then, I was the
one asking all the questions, but that was when she asked
me about myself for the first time. Meaning she started to
show interest in me. That's a really good sign."
"Huh… Interesting."
Once again, he took me from baffled to convinced in a
single bound. Was he a magician or something?
"Once I traded LINE IDs with Mako-chan, who was more
open, it was easier to convince her friend to share hers, too,
right? Basically, if you can get one girl interested and then
get her info, the bar will be lower for the other one."
Having finished his explanation, he stood in front of me
with his usual casual smile.
"Do you get the general idea?"
"Yes, wise teacher. Your student thanks you for your
instruction and encouragement."
A whole new world was opening up before me.
* * *
We finished our ramen and were relaxing for a minute while
we had something to drink.
"So do you have any questions? Ask me anything. I mean,
you're working on a lot of stuff right now, aren't you?"
"Uh, yeah…" I thought for a minute. I definitely felt like I
could get an immeasurable amount of EXP from Mizusawa
in this game. I'd better think carefully about what to ask
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him.
As I thought about the parts that were still bothering me, I
hit on a question that had nothing to do with how to become
a normie.
There was an underlying problem with all this.
"Hey…I thought you liked Hinami."
"…What kind of question is that?" He gave me a quick,
surprised look. Then without changing his expression, he
answered my question. "I do."
"Oh, okay." I wasn't ready for such a point-blank answer.
Now I was the one caught off guard.
He looked at me, unruffled. "But what's that got to do
with this?"
"A lot, I'd say," I shot back.
How could he be so blasé about it? Especially when he'd
just been majorly hitting on two girls! This was the problem
with normies.
"I mean, if you like Hinami, should you be going around
to festivals trying to pick up girls?"
I did my best getting my feelings across, even if my
communication skills weren't the greatest.
Mizusawa frowned, troubled. "Well…let me put it this
way. I'm not dating Hinami right now, am I?"
"N-no, but…still."
"I like someone, but I don't have a girlfriend. So I can do
what I want and have fun. That's all. Is there something
wrong with that?" he asked point-blank.
"Um…"
He seemed so certain now that I wondered if maybe he
was right. He wasn't betraying anyone, after all.
"It just feels like you're…not being faithful or
something…"
"Faithful, huh?" Mizusawa said, sighing. "Where do you
get that way of thinking from?"
"…Uh…"
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"You've never been in a relationship, have you?"
"Uh, no…but why do you want to know where it comes
from?"
As I stood there floundering, Mizusawa peered into my
eyes. "My guess is that you got it from some manga or anime
or something you saw a long time ago."
"…Th-that's…"
I wanted to say it wasn't true, but I couldn't completely
deny his point. I didn't have a better answer. It was just a
vague intuition. In which case, Mizusawa might be right.
He kept looking at me. "That kind of love story is just a
fantasy. In my opinion, it's meaningless to believe in fiction
and try to apply it wholesale to real life. But that's just me."
"Fiction, huh?"
When I thought about it, I realized everything I knew
about love did come from stories. I had no way of arguing.
When Mizusawa said real-life love was different and he felt
perfectly fine hitting on girls even though he liked someone
else, I had nothing to base a counterargument on. Fine, but
still, most people wouldn't do that. They wouldn't flirt with
other girls.
He probed me with a look, then leaned forward
confidently. "Now I'll ask you a question."
"Um, okay…"
"What do you think makes a guy attractive?"
"Uh, that came out of nowhere." This conversation had
taken a sudden turn.
"I know. What's your answer?"
I thought about what Hinami had told me and what I'd
experienced myself. Then I put it all together to create an
answer that was mine. "Well, he takes care of his
appearance, and he's chill… Let's see, what else? He's good
at controlling the conversation, maybe?"
I shrewdly added the point that Mizusawa had just taught
me to Hinami's lessons.
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"Hey, not as bad as I was expecting! Right on all three
counts."
Once again, he was getting kinda high-handed, but I
couldn't argue with the master.
"Th-thanks."
True enough, not long ago, the only answer I would
probably have come up with was He's smart. So in that
sense, maybe I had advanced a bit.
"But you're still missing something," Mizusawa said
pompously. "That's all surface stuff. There's one more thing
that's even more basic."
"There is?" I echoed.
He gave me a cocky smile, then answered with utter
confidence.
"Attractive guys attract people."
I gaped at him silently.
Eventually, my shock morphed into a wry smile.
"Well, that's very to the point."
Mizusawa cackled happily. "Maybe, but it's true. Look,
you listed three requirements just now, right? We'll assume
taking care of your appearance is a must, but if you've got
girls who are interested, staying cool comes naturally, and
it's easy to control the conversation, too, because you start
out with the upper hand."
"Yeah, I can see that…"
What he was saying wasn't that complicated. Basically,
once you start attracting people, it makes you more
attractive.
"Also, your market value goes up, so girls think if they
don't act fast, someone else will get you. So the hotter you
are, the hotter you become. It's like a spiral of hotness."
"A spiral of hotness…?"
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He was saying all this with the utmost seriousness…but
everything made sense.
The conversation was getting off track, but I had a
question. "Doesn't that mean it's impossible for nonhot guys
to become hot?"
If hot guys just got hotter and hotter, that didn't seem to
leave much room for nonhot guys to make a comeback.
Mizusawa nodded. "Pretty much," he said.
"What?"
He smiled jokingly. "Nah, I'm just messing with you."
"Hey!"
What was with the feint? Was that really necessary right
now?
"Ha-ha-ha. It's simple. Just do as the hot guys do. That'll
give you a fighting chance."
"Oh, okay."
I hadn't directly experienced being attractive, but I could
understand it from other contexts. When I felt unsure or
nervous, just taking on a more solid stance made me feel
more relaxed. Then it showed in my actions and tone. It was
just what Hinami had taught me—fake it till you make it.
So the same structure applied to the abstract concept of
"hotness," too. Look at that, I just broke it down to concepts
I already know.
Mizusawa leaned back in his chair and continued. "And
once you start attracting people, you don't have to pretend
anymore."
"Are you talking about yourself?"
"Ha-ha-ha. Maybe." He laughed softly. When I saw this
side of him, it was easier to forgive his cocky attitude.
"Basically, girls fall for guys who they think have a higher
market value than themselves," he said.
"Huh."
"So my plan is to raise my value, play around, stay cool…
and slowly get Hinami interested in me."
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"Th-that's where all this leads…?"
So that's why he asked me that question out of the blue. I
get it. "So basically, messing around with a bunch of
different girls isn't a problem because you're not being
unfaithful. You're trying to increase your hotness level so
Hinami will decide she's interested in you."
Mizusawa scrunched his brows together. "No, that's not
quite it."
"It's not?"
Damn, I'd been perfectly convinced.
Mizusawa gave me a teasing smile. "No. I mean, I'm not
just doing all this for Hinami. A big part of this is that it's
fun for me. I mean, I am a guy, after all."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I shot back. He said
some weird stuff when he was joking around.
He cackled before answering me. "What it means is, I'm
playing around because I want to. It's entirely separate from
the thing with Hinami… That's one part of it anyway."
He grinned confidently, then pointed at me.
"The other part is, I'm not doing it so Hinami will decide
she's interested in me. I'm doing it to make her interested in
me."
"Uh, okay…"
He was joking around expertly, and his expression was so
relaxed and in control that I couldn't help thinking he really
was pretty cool. Huh? Wait a second, am I falling for him,
too?
* * *
"Oh, Mizusawa-san and Tomozaki-san! You came!"
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After we left the ramen shop, we headed over to the
haunted house run by Gumi-chan's class. She was sitting
next to the reception table, fiddling with her phone. Looks
like she didn't plan to lift a finger at the school festival,
either.
"Hey, look, you grew antennae!" Mizusawa said, looking
at the pair of bunny ears on her head. She did have a bit of a
Playboy-bunny vibe, so they suited her perfectly.
"Nope! They're my cute bunny ears. " She touched her
headband.
"So you've got four ears now?"
"Ah-ha-ha, yup!" she said, slumping lazily in her chair.
I watched her, thinking I might as well say what I'd been
thinking a second ago. It was the Tomozaki Method with a
dash of jokey Mizusawa.
"So you're not doing any work at the festival, either, huh?"
I succeeded in the delivery well enough to get a grin from
her.
"Hey, I don't work anywhere!"
"Why do you sound so proud of that?" Mizusawa replied
right away.
Man, if he'd given me a chance, I might have said the
same thing, but his response time was too quick. In battles,
the people who act fastest get the advantage, so maybe I'd
better work on my lightning reflexes to make up for my low
strength.
"Anyway, go on in! It's not very scary, though!"
"If you're saying that about your own booth… Yikes," I
jumped in to say.
Gumi-chan stuck out her tongue at me. "Hey, what's your
class gonna do? It's at the end of second semester, right?
Your school festival, I mean."
"We're doing a café where you can read manga. And a
play," Mizusawa said.
Gumi-chan lit up. "That sounds really cool! I'll try to make
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it if I can."
"Gumi-chan, that's what you say when you don't plan to
go…," I said.
"That's not true!"
I was managing to get a line in here and there.
"Just the two of you, right? This way!"
When our conversation wound down, one of her
classmates led us into the haunted house.
We walked slowly down the path. It was cramped and
dark, but not so dark that we couldn't see ahead of us.
"Boo!"
"…"
I ignored the guy who shouted at me from the side, since I
already knew he was there.
"Ooo~!"
"…Okay."
We could see the next person, too, so Mizusawa wasn't
startled, either.
That happened a couple more times, and then we were at
the exit.
"You survived~." Gumi-chan stood up and walked over to
us. "So? How was it?"
I said exactly what came to mind. "Um…I think the most
shocking part of this whole thing was the fact that you got
out of your chair."
"Ah-ha-ha. Yeah, I getcha," she said lethargically. "Hey,
my shift at the reception table is over! Wanna go to the
dining hall with me?"
"We just had ramen," Mizusawa said.
"Oh!" Gumi-chan said, her eyes sparkling. "Then it's time
for dessert, right? That's perfect! I was just thinking I
wanted some ice cream."
"You're quite an optimist…"
Mizusawa cackled at my joke. "Just think of her as a
human vacuum cleaner, Fumiya."
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"Ah, g-gotcha… Wouldn't want that for my boss."
Gumi-chan looked at us in confusion. "I don't know what
that means, and I'm not sure I want to."
"You're just imagining things! Let's go get dessert.
Where's the dining hall?"
"I knew I could count on you, Mizusawa-san. It's over
there!"
That was how we ended up heading over to the dining hall
with Gumi-chan after touring her crappy haunted house.
I'd been observing the conversation with the points
Mizusawa explained earlier in mind. Even though he
accepted her suggestion that we should all get ice cream, he
still seemed to be the one in control of making the decision.
Amazing technical skill.
* * *
"So did you meet any cute girls?" Gumi-chan asked languidly
as she ate her cup of vanilla ice cream. She was going to melt
all over the table before her ice cream did.
"Ha-ha-ha. Why would you assume we're here for that?"
"I mean, isn't that why two guys usually come to a girls'
school?" she said, like it was completely obvious.
Almost exactly what Mizusawa had said. Must be a thing.
"We haven't talked to that many yet. I'd say we're doing
so-so."
"That's what I thought! You're the cabbage-wrap type,
aren't you, Mizusawa-san?!"
"I think you're probably the only person in the world who
actually uses that expression."
I listened to their fast-paced banter, grinning. I think
what she meant by "the cabbage-wrap type" was that he
seemed like a warm and fuzzy vegetarian on the outside, but
he was actually a carnivorous wolf inside. But by the time I'd
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figured that out, they were on to something else.
At this point, I could inject little comments here and there
in fast-paced conversations, but beyond a certain level, I was
completely immobilized. This was one of those situations.
These two spoke at lightning speed. I think that like Takei
and Nakamura, Gumi-chan just has what it takes. She's a
natural.
"What about you, Tomozaki-san?"
Suddenly, the conversational spear was pointed in my
direction. But I'd already been searching for a crack where I
could slip into the dialogue, so I wasn't that flustered.
"I don't really hit on girls…"
"Figures!" Gumi-chan said, her eyes wide. "But a lot of
girls at our school are looking for boyfriends, so you've got
plenty of opportunities!"
"R-really?"
"Definitely. You don't have a girlfriend right now, do
you?"
"Uh, no. Nope."
I pulled myself up, doing my best to hide how the sudden
question had flustered me. It wasn't just that I didn't have
one right now—I'd never had one ever. I didn't have the legs
for leaping right into a conversation about love.
"Then you should check out my class! We've got tons of
cute girls who want boyfriends!"
"You do, huh?"
I wasn't sure what to say. What would get me a passing
score on the normie rubric?
Earlier, Mizusawa had said attractive guys attract people,
so what would an attractive guy say in this situation? Maybe
I should think it through and give it a shot. Well, he
probably wouldn't be desperate for a girlfriend, so he might
say something like, That's not why I came. But that was
more like something I'd say anyway, which meant it was
wrong. Kinda sad, but it's true.
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In which case, the best approach would probably be to act
like Mizusawa and make a joke out of it. Something like
this?
"…Maybe I should take another trip through your crappy
haunted house."
I aimed for a light, casual, Mizusawa-esque tone. I'd
thought about my answer too much before saying it, so there
was a weird pause in the conversation, but I think it was just
short of unnatural. Now to wait for the verdict.
Gumi-chan gave me a weak smile, her upper body still
melted onto the table.
"Ah-ha-ha! So you're the cabbage-wrap type, too!"
"I told you, Gumi, no one says that."
"Okay, fine, I get it!"
Once again, Mizusawa had retaken control of the
conversation.
But hey, look at that! My hot-guy imitation got me labeled
as a cabbage wrap. I wouldn't even say I'm a vegetarian—I'm
more like a microorganism that breaks down the nutrients
in dirt.
So I'd succeeded in impersonating a hot guy—maybe. But
was that a step forward?
* * *
After that, I was pulled into exactly the scenario I most
feared.
Gumi-chan had gone to enjoy the festival, so Mizasawa
and I were walking down the hallway when suddenly, he
took my arm.
"Okay, your turn now."
"What?"
He walked up behind a pair of girls, pulling me along with
him. Wait a second, are you serious? You want me to take
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part in this?
Once he got fairly close to the pair, he let go of my arm
and walked around to the right side. "You go left," he said,
leaving me behind. What? We're gonna start talking from
both sides at once?
I followed his instructions and approached from the
opposite side— Nah, like hell I did. Instead, I took up a
position on his right. I mean, let's be realistic. That was a big
ask for me.
Mizusawa glanced over, smiled wryly, and cheerfully
started talking.
"Heya!"
I followed his lead and said "H-heya" as clearly as
possible. But my nervousness made my voice kinda mumbly,
and I couldn't control my intonation like I normally did.
One of the girls was wearing a sparkly beret, while the
other was wearing glasses. Very school-festival-ish.
Mizusawa confirmed they were looking at him, then
pointed at the pince-nez glasses one of them was wearing.
"Those glasses are. So cool," he said, putting a weird
pause before so.
The girl giggled a little. "Uh, I'm not sure that's a
compliment!"
"No, seriously, they look really nice on you!"
"You think so? Um, who are you?"
Starting out, the girl seemed a bit distant. I listened
fearfully to the conversation, a weak smile on my face. How
did Mizusawa manage to stay so relaxed?
The girl with the beret wasn't reacting very positively,
either. She was looking at us and smiling, but she seemed
more puzzled than happy. Huh. Well, I'm not surprised it
doesn't always go off without a hitch.
Mizusawa pointed at a nearby classroom and made small
talk. "Have you been to the haunted house yet?"
"No way!" the girl with the glasses answered.
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"You should check it out. It's terrifying how unscary it is."
The girl burst out laughing. "But that's the most
important part!"
"Ha-ha-ha. You can totally see all the ghosts."
That got rid of the tension. He was unbelievable. Even if
they didn't go for him right away, he figured out how to get
their guard down.
As usual, I was just standing by his side watching…until I
realized I should probably say something.
Honestly speaking, this was all so new that it felt
impossible, but I had chosen to give this game my all. You
gotta try new things and get that EXP. This dungeon was
obviously beyond my level, but on the other hand, Mizusawa
had gone to the trouble of setting the stage for me.
I decided to try playing along. "Y-yeah, it seriously is not
scary!"
"Really?" the pince-nez girl answered smoothly after my
awkward stammering. The mood wasn't really taking off. Is
this going badly? I think it's going badly.
"Y-yeah! You wouldn't think so, but it's really not scary at
all…"
"I wouldn't, huh?"
I thought that phrase would work again, but my spirit was
crushed. Yeah, I definitely wasn't ready for this.
In which case, I decided it would be better for me to cut it
out with the stupid comments and watch the master. Maybe
get a word in here and there if I could. Otherwise, I'd never
survive this.
"Did you go to any good booths?" Mizusawa asked.
"Um, well…the strikeout game was fun."
"I didn't know they had one of those here. Are there
prizes?"
"Yes! If you hit all the squares, you get an iPhone cover or
something. All I got was this."
She took off her glasses and showed them to Mizusawa.
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Man, they were having a full-on conversation.
"So that's where you got them!" He calmly took the
glasses from her and started scrutinizing them. "These look
like something from the dollar store."
"Ah-ha-ha. They probably are."
Suddenly, I had a flash of inspiration. Even if I couldn't
hit on girls like Mizusawa did, I should be able to complete
my assignment.
So I said, "I b-bet those would look good on you, too,
Mizusawa." I stuttered a little, but I think I managed to
sound casual enough.
He grinned and put them on his face. "What do you
think?"
"Wow, they do look good!" the girl said.
"Hey, I'm not sure that's a compliment."
"Ah-ha-ha."
"B-but they really do look good on you!"
"I agree!"
"What do you think, Fumiya?" Mizusawa smiled and
turned toward me.
I summoned my cheerful voice. "Definitely, definitely!
Want me to take a picture?"
I held up my phone.
Yeah, pince-nez probably weren't what Hinami had
imagined, but they were a classic category of glasses. Which
meant if I took the picture, the assignment would be
complete. She couldn't quibble over this.
"Ha-ha-ha. Okay, go ahead."
Mizusawa gamely played along. But of course, he kept
trying to wave over the original owner of the glasses. "Come
on, get in the picture!" Oh, this guy. The other girl was
standing there awkwardly, like she didn't know what to do.
"Okay, say cheese!"
"Cheese!"
"Cheese!"
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I succeeded in getting my shot of Mizusawa wearing
glasses. Will this be acceptable for you, Hinami-san?
"Show me!" Mizusawa said, looking at my screen. He
seemed to be having a great time with this.
"Oh, nice! Here, look!"
The girl with the glasses came over to see, and the two of
them gushed over it a little. And then…
"Okay, I'll send it to you. What should I use to send it?"
"LINE works."
With that, the photo I took for my assignment was twisted
into an excuse for exchanging LINE info. Tell me, is this guy
OP or what?
* * *