Thus, I experienced Gumi-chan's haunted house and
Mizusawa's pickup skills, and before I knew it, evening had
come.
After the glasses incident, Mizusawa hit on some more
girls, and even though he was just doing it in between
checking out festival booths, he still managed to get about
ten LINE IDs. If he'd been focusing his full energy on it, I
had no doubt this guy would have gone home with twenty or
thirty.
We'd left the school grounds and were waiting in front of
the main gate for the bus.
"Too bad. I really wanted to see you doing some flirting,"
Mizusawa said.
"No way, getting dragged in that one time was plenty for
me…"
"Ha-ha-ha. Really?"
Actually, it was more than plenty. "I'm not quite at that
level yet…"
"That level, huh…?" Mizusawa looked up at the sky in
thought, then said, "You're doing some kind of self-help
book, right? Something about, like, self-improvement or
'boosting your level' or whatever?"
"Uh, I guess…"
Hinami was teaching me everything, actually, but she had
told me once she essentially had a self-help book in her
mind. In that sense, he wasn't wrong.
"Is it one of those books that's like, What girls really
want is to talk, so you should ask them a lot of questions?
They tell you to ask them about themselves, let them talk,
etcetera, etcetera? My image of those is kinda 'eh.'"
"Um…yeah, maybe."
Since I'd never read one of those books, I didn't know if
he was right, but I decided to vaguely go along with him.
Hinami had started out with more basic skills, like fixing my
gloomy way of talking, but let's just forget about that. It's
depressing.
But anyway, what was so "eh" about the things he'd
mentioned?
"Do you think that advice is wrong?"
He hesitated for a moment. "No, I don't think it's wrong,
per se. But based on my experience, it's not right, either."
"So it's neither?"
He nodded. "I agree that when you're with a girl, you need
to make it fun. And listening to her talk about whatever she
wants to talk about is an important means to that end."
"I see."
"But it's not enough on its own."
"You need more?"
"Yeah. If you ask lot of questions and avoid awkward
pauses, you'll have a conversation. But that's just the bare
minimum. You're not gonna hook up or anything."
"Hook up…"
In—in what sense…?
"You know what I mean, right?"
"Uh, b-basically. I think." I nodded fearfully.
"Simply put—it's not enough to get the girl." He spoke
slowly, his eyebrows raised. His tone was light, but the
words behind it carried far more weight.
"I—I can see that…"
The force of his speech had convinced me. I guess that's
what it means to be a normie. How was a high schooler not
intimidated by the idea of "getting the girl"? He oozed
confidence. Someone as popular as him just had way more
experience.
"If you only listen to her talk, you'll have a decent
conversation. But in the end, if you want her to come after
you and to really reel her in, you need to convince her you're
worth it."
"Worth it…" That was ridiculous. Convincing a girl of that
sounded like a fairly high bar.
"Basically, for us guys, being harmless isn't enough."
"Harmless…"
Strangely, the word stung.
Mizusawa seemed to be enjoying his lecture now. He was
a captivating speaker, and he shifted from one expression to
the next in an attractive way.
"It's a surefire path to the friend zone."
"You mean you have to pursue her a little?"
"Exactly. Or—what was it? Hexactly."
"Hey, that's Hinami's line."
Mizusawa cackled happily. "You're getting fairly good at
listening, so now you need to work on the attack."
"Huh?" I said, surprised.
Mizusawa's eyebrows shot up, like he was surprised by my
surprise. "What, you hadn't noticed? I mean, you've been
asking me about myself a lot more lately, and your questions
are more specific."
"…Oh."
Now that he mentioned it, I could think of lots of
examples. After all, in the six-plus months since I met
Hinami, I'd spent every day coming up with things to talk
about with specific people and then starting those
conversations when I could. When I had lunch with
Nakamura's group, for instance, I did that a lot.
And since I'd taken the trouble to come up with the topics
in advance, they were specific. Props to Hinami.
"You've gotten a lot better at responding naturally, too."
"I have?" I asked stupidly.
Mizusawa smirked. "You didn't notice that, either? You're
speaking way clearer, and you've learned to dial down your
responses so they don't seem exaggerated."
"…Seriously?"
"Seriously."
That must be the result of my training, too. I'd recorded
myself speaking and then listened to the recordings,
revamping whatever didn't match my image of my own
voice. I'd copied the speech patterns of well-spoken people
on TV, and even of Mizusawa himself, and then recorded
myself again and fixed what needed fixing.
From an ordinary person's perspective, it probably looks
like a dull, repetitive process, but as they say, that's what it
takes to git gud. When I applied that practice to Hinami's
exercises, that's what I got. And now my work was slowly
bearing fruit.
"I realize how much effort that took. You jumped from an
awkward loser all the way to where you are now…,"
Mizusawa said, laying his hand on my shoulder with a
thump. "You must have put in some real steady work."
I gulped, and he laughed at the look on my face.
"You can try to hide it, but I see you."
He tapped the middle of my chest with his finger. The
gesture somehow reminded me of Hinami.
"I've got a soft spot for hard workers like you." He smiled,
and his eyes were kind and accepting.
"Well…thanks."
"See, you felt it, right? That's the kind of thing you want to
say to girls."
"Y-you jerk…"
"Hey, here's the bus."
I sputtered out an incoherent answer, completely shaken
up. What a goddamn playboy. If I were a girl right now, he
would have had me, no question about it.
He walked briskly over to the bus, looking so damn laidback that I could have hit him.
"Wait a—"
I jogged to catch up. Ugh, what am I, his girlfriend?!
* * *
The next day was Sunday.
After I finished my shift at Karaoke Sevens, I stopped at a
café in Omiya.
I was sitting alone drinking orange juice when someone
came trotting in through the entrance…
"I-I'm sorry I'm late!"
She was a wood sprite, wearing a fluffy white sweater
under a cozy-looking, woolly gray coat. The feminine outfit
looked frighteningly good on her.
"I-it's okay," I answered, my eyes glued to her.
You guessed it—Kikuchi-san and I had agreed to meet in
Omiya to talk about the play after we got off work.
She sat down and ordered a cup of tea.
When it arrived, we both let out a deep breath. "Well, um,
what should we talk about first?" I said.
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Kikuchi-san made a little bow in my direction. "Um, thank
you for everything on Friday."
"Huh?" I was confused for a second.
"For telling the class about my manuscript…," she said
softly.
Oh right. "No problem at all. Don't even think about it. I
wanted to do the play myself anyway."
She gave me a slightly surprised glance. Then she smiled,
looking very grown-up. "…Still, thank you."
For her, thanking me was just the right thing to do, I
think. "…You're welcome."
Which was why I gave in. The topic turned to the details
of the play.
"Looks like we'll be casting it next week already…," I said.
"Y-yes, I think so." Kikuchi-san laced her fingers together
nervously.
Hmm. Moving this conversation along is probably my
job, then. "Did you have a chance to write up the summary
that we talked about on Friday?"
"Oh, yes. I did. Here it is."
She pulled a clear plastic folder out of her handbag, and
there were several sheets of paper inside. She took one out
and handed it to me.
"Thanks. Um…"
I glanced down at the paper. In addition to a simple
outline of the story, there were descriptions of the characters
as well as notes about how big their part was and how long
their speeches were. She'd concisely summarized the whole
play.
Huh. She'd gone the extra mile to make the character
descriptions, so she must have had casting in mind when she
wrote it. She really was on the ball.
"Wow…this looks great."
"Really?"
I nodded. It was conceited of me to act like I could judge
her work, but I had to keep us moving. Lord, please forgive
the impudence of a weakling.
"Yeah. This will let people choose parts and stuff even if
they haven't read the whole thing."
Kikuchi-san took out a copy for herself. "Depending on
who takes which part, I'll need to adjust the script here and
there, don't you think?"
"Um…you think so? I guess you're right."
Honestly speaking, I hadn't considered that, so my answer
was pretty vague. But she was right—she'd written a short
story, but now she was adapting it as a class play. Adjusting
the mood based on who played who was one option.
"Yes. And how much time do we have?"
"Uh, I'm not sure. I'll check."
"If we need to shorten it, we could leave out this part…"
Kikuchi-san looked down, concentrating intently. Unlike the
soft expression she got when she read books, her eyes were
sharp and perceptive.
I wouldn't say that look was entirely surprising, but there
was something fresh about it. Kikuchi-san usually observed
the world from a calm, outside perspective, but now, calm
though she still was, the passion in her eyes was clear. It was
fascinating, and I couldn't help gazing at her face.
The world she had created was about to open its
boundaries to the outside.
What could I do to help that happen?
I didn't know anything about making up stories. I wasn't
well versed in theater. So what could I do?
I thought about it for a few minutes and finally arrived at
a conclusion. I was only able to come up with it because of
the life-conquering skills I'd recently learned.
I was sure of it.
This was the best way to translate Kikuchi-san's quiet
passion for the rest of the class.
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* * *
After we'd discussed the story outline, the characters, and
everything else we could think of about the play, the
conversation turned to the school festival as a whole.
"I'm really looking forward to the festival," I said, and I
meant it now. I could have added Aren't you? at the end, but
I knew very well not everyone felt that way about these
things.
But Kikuchi-san smiled. "Yes, so am I." Then she opened
her mouth slightly, like she'd just discovered something.
"It's strange, isn't it?" she said.
"How so?" I said.
"I didn't care about the school festival at all until this
year…but now that I've gotten involved a little, my
perspective has changed completely."
"…Yeah."
I'd experienced the same emotion.
When your situation changes, your surroundings change,
too. When you stand in a different place, everything looks
different. But when your frame of mind changes, those
changes are even more pronounced.
"I think I know what you mean," I said.
"Yes…I had a feeling you'd experienced it yourself."
Kikuchi-san placed one hand on top of the other and smiled
kindly.
I remembered something. "Oh yeah."
She gave me a confused look.
"Would you take a picture with me? We can get the
overview you wrote in the picture, too. Kind of like a
promise to give this play our all."
Of course, taking a photo with her was one of my
assignments, but I really did want to capture the moment.
Huh. I was starting to understand those people who always
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have their cameras out.
"A picture…?" Kikuchi-san thought about it for a moment,
then nodded and smiled. "Okay, that's fine."
"G-great. So…"
I pulled up the camera on my phone. Right. We were
sitting across from each other at the table, but that wouldn't
work if we wanted to take a picture together.
I had no choice but to accept the challenge.
"Um, mind if I come over there?" I pointed to the empty
spot next to her on the couch. She tilted her head, a little
flustered.
"You mean…next to me?" she finally said.
Her voice was shaking, and the last few words trailed off
into near silence. As she glanced hesitantly at me, I noticed
the mesmerizingly long curl of her eyelashes.
"Um, yeah."
My voice was shaking, too; her nervousness was
contagious. She nodded, seeming to have made up her mind,
and moved the slightest bit to the side. Then she set both her
hands on her lap and sat up stiffly.
"O-okay…"
I got up the nerve to stand and move to her side.
We'd never been this close before. The magical sprite was
a mere ten centimeters from me.
A gentle scent tickled my nostrils, and the slight hitch in
her breathing made my heart race.
I pulled up the camera on my phone and moved it around
until we were both in the frame.
That's when it happened.
"Oh!"
Our hands touched on the sofa.
"S-sorry."
"Um, i-it's okay. I'm sorry…"
We both jerked our hands back. An extremely awkward
silence followed.
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Kikuchi-san tried to distract us from what just happened.
"Uh, um, you were taking a picture, right?"
"Uh, yeah…"
"R-right…"
I succeeded in snapping the shot, although we avoided
each other's eyes the whole time. My assignment was
complete, but by this point, that was the least of my worries.
"I-I'll send it to you later, okay?"
"O-okay…"
So went our conversation, in fits and starts of awkward
breaths and stuttered words.
I mean, that was a real shock.
Up till then, I'd thought of Kikuchi-san as some sort of
heavenly creature, but when our hands touched—when for
the first time, her human warmth reached me through our
fingertips, and I felt her presence—my face was on fire.
* * *
It was Monday morning, and I was in Sewing Room #2.
Seven days had passed since Hinami gave me the photoquest assignment, which meant this was the last day of the
quest.
"Well, you're doing nicely, aren't you? Look at all those
likes you're getting."
"Y-yeah, I guess…"
We were looking at the trends for the photos I'd posted on
Instagram. The one I'd put up on Friday was getting an
especially good reaction, even though Takei had posted the
same one on Twitter. It was a great picture, after all. Of
course, that "especially good reaction" was six likes instead
of two.
"Gotta say, I wasn't expecting those glasses…"
"S-sorry about that." I was a little ashamed at her
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sarcasm, but at least she accepted the picture.
By the way, I didn't post the photo of me and Kikuchi-san
from Sunday. I did show it to Hinami, but Kikuchi-san had
said she didn't want me to put it on Instagram. Honestly, I
would have been embarrassed to post it myself, so I was glad
for that.
"It looks like some people from our class are following you
even though you didn't tell them about the account, right?"
"…Yeah."
It was true. I'd only signed up a few days earlier, but
already, a couple of people were following me—though I
wasn't sure if they'd found my account because one of their
friends liked one of my pictures, or whether the app
recommended they follow me, or what. I still only had
twelve followers, though. That was one three-hundredth of
what Hinami had.
"Anyway…you really surprised me the other day. I know I
told you to take an active role in the school festival, but I was
not expecting the play to be based on Kikuchi-san's story."
She seemed very pleased by the enthusiasm of her
disciple.
"That was something I wanted to do, even if you didn't
give that assignment to me."
"…Is that so?" Hinami said, frowning. "Well, never mind.
As long as you're approaching your goal, it doesn't matter
how you get there."
"Right."
I nodded, but something bothered me. She was right that
the ends justified the means in this case, and I was used to
Hinami sticking her nose in my business based on that
philosophy.
But the same question occurred to me again.
Why did she want me to reach my goals so badly?
In the beginning, I felt like she'd just been following the
momentum of our relationship as nanashi and NO NAME,
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but why was she taking it this far? Why was it such a big
deal?
What did it mean to her?
"Hey, Hinami?"
"…What?"
She sounded slightly wary—she must have caught the shift
in my feelings. Nothing got past her.
"This is kind of a basic question, but I've been
wondering."
"Yes?"
"Why do you want to turn me into a normie so badly?"
She looked at me suspiciously. "Why do you suddenly
want to know?"
"I just do…"
"…You don't remember?" she asked me with surprise.
"Remember what?"
She answered quietly. "When nanashi and NO NAME first
met. Do you remember what you said that made me take you
to my house?"
"…Uh…"
Hinami sighed softly. "You said: 'You can't change
characters in real life.' 'Your character is just better than
mine.'"
"Oh yeah," I said as the conversation started coming back.
"I did say that."
Thanks to her, I'd closed a lot of that distance—I'd almost
switched characters entirely, in a sense. So…I might have
been wrong.
"Mm-hmm. When I heard you say that, I wanted to prove
I was right."
"…Really?"
I understood what she was trying to say, but I still wasn't
quite convinced. She was the queen of efficiency, so
spending so much time on that one goal didn't seem to fit.
"What? You don't seem convinced."
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"It's nothing."
As usual, she saw through me in a second. "I hate losing.
Remember?"
"Well, that's true."
I think she meant she didn't want to lose in the clash of
ideas about the game of life, especially since she was going
up against nanashi. If that was true, then she was even more
competitive than I'd given her credit for. But I still felt like
there must be another reason.
"Anyway, none of that matters. Let's talk about you—did
you choose anyone yet?"
"You mean…what we were talking about before?"
Had I chosen a girl to pursue, after taking a look at my
own feelings?
"Yes. Who you want to date. Since you said you wanted
time to think, I gave you a whole week. I expect you've done
plenty of thinking since then?"
I flinched as she bore down on me with her questions.
"Yeah…I have." I nodded.
I still hadn't solidified my decision and resolve in the way
I'd have liked. But over the past few days, I had thought
about what I wanted to do.
"Okay. Well, we decided on one full week, and I don't
want to hurry you, but I do want to be sure we're on the
same page. By tomorrow morning, please tell me the names
of the two girls you want to get closer to."
"O-okay."
She really emphasized the word two. I guess that's a
requirement, then.
"Today is the last day of your photo quest. Keep your nose
to the grindstone!"
"This again…"
And so my last photo quest began.
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* * *
"Braiiiiiin!!"
An energetic voice greeted me when I got to our
classroom, despite the early hour. Crap. Mimimi Attack 2.0
was coming. But now that I knew, I should be able to avoid
it!
"Oof!"
"Nice try."
"Ow!"
I had dodged right into her attack, and pain exploded
across my shoulders.
When I glanced over at her, she was giggling. "You're still
too slow!"
"Why are you even attacking me to start with?!"
"Good question!" she admitted with a smile. "But anyway,
I have a favor to ask. I'm in need of some snappy
comebacks!"
"Wh-what?" I had a bad feeling about this, but I waited
for her to go on.
"Sooo…the track team is talking about doing a comedy
routine for the school festival…"
"Uh-huh…" The bad feeling turned into a certainty.
"I'm planning to play the funny girl, but Tama didn't want
to be my partner."
"Well, she is on the volleyball team, after all…"
"I've already gotten permission for the straight man to be
someone who doesn't run track! No one on our team wants
to do it!"
"O-oh…"
This was getting painful. But I still didn't want to be in a
comedy routine. Plus, wouldn't that be hard for an amateur
like me?
"That's why I'm asking you to do it!"
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"Uh-huh."
I wanted to bury my head in my hands. Mimimi was
talking about all this in a very loud voice, so Hinami could
definitely hear our conversation.
Which meant she would not be happy if I said no. Damn
it!
"I—I guess it's fine…"
"No, I really want you to— What?!"
"Hey, don't be so surprised that I said yes!"
"But I didn't even have to convince you!" She stuck her
nose in the air. "So you're hooked, huh? Can't resist playing
old married couple with me, can ya?"
"Uh, not exactly…"
"Ouch!"
She pressed her hands to her chest. Man, she had so much
energy. Can you not press your chest like that? I don't know
where to look.
Was this really going to work? I'd said okay since one of
my assignments was to participate actively in the festival,
but comedy would be a real challenge.
"Do you think we have enough time to practice? We have
to work on the class play, too…"
"We'll manage! Just leave it to me!"
"Um…"
This was not good. I definitely could not leave it to her.
"So should we talk about it more later or something?" I
said. I'd probably have to come up with an idea. Hmm. What
to do?
"Good idea! Then it's a date!"
"O-okay."
"Okay!"
With that, she hopped over to Tama-chan and hugged her
from behind. What the heck? Was she some kind of
migratory bird?
Wait a second, I'd just casually accepted a role in a
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comedy routine. Now I was on the organizing committee,
helping Kikuchi-san with the class play, and doing a skit
with Mimimi. What's going on? Why am I taking on so
many responsibilities? I am in way over my head.
* * *
After school, the whole class had a discussion about the play.
The committee chair, Izumi; the usual note-taker, Senosan; the playwright, Kikuchi-san; and I, the initiator, were
all standing in front of the blackboard. Since there were
fewer people up here this time, there was more attention on
each of us. If that made me this nervous, I couldn't even
imagine how Kikuchi-san must be feeling after getting
tossed into this so suddenly.
"Okay, let's do the casting!"
Izumi was getting used to her role as leader; her voice
sounded a lot more casual than last time. Seno-san wrote
Roles on the blackboard.
"Has everyone read the summary we handed out earlier?"
Izumi asked.
Some yeses came back from the class. Kikuchi-san had
made some small changes to the document we reviewed at
the café, printed out copies for everyone, and handed them
out.
Izumi turned her gaze over to her. "So…am I right that the
main characters are Alucia, Libra, and Kris?"
"…Uh, um…"
"Yeah, those three are the main characters."
Kikuchi-san sounded pretty flustered by the sudden
question, so I did my best to slide in and back her up.
"Okay! Let's assign those roles first!" Izumi said
cheerfully.
Kikuchi-san looked up at me apologetically. No worries,
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Kikuchi-san! From here on out, this is my job. I'm using all
the skills I've got to get what I want, and what I want is for
your play to be a success.
Seno-san wrote Alucia, Libra, and Kris on the board.
"So, um, how do we decide who plays who?" Izumi asked
me, sounding slightly worried. We'd shared the manuscript
over LINE the day before, but it was unlikely everyone had
read it in a single day. Assigning roles wouldn't be easy.
"How about the people who've read it go by the full
manuscript, those who haven't go by the summary, and we
all try to figure out who seems like they'd fit the roles?" I
said.
"Yeah, that sounds good! Let's start with Alucia!" Izumi
looked at Kikuchi-san again. "…By the way, do you have an
image of the character in your mind?"
"Um…of Alucia?"
Alucia was the princess directly in line to be queen, and
the childhood friend of the locksmith's son, Libra.
I could tell Kikuchi-san was struggling under the whole
class's attention, but she seemed calmer than before. I
couldn't answer this one for her, so she'd have to do the best
she could on her own.
"She's an outstanding student, and a quick thinker…and
her words have a lot of power."
Everyone tried to think of someone who matched that
description, and of course, all eyes gravitated to one person.
No surprises there.
"Well, if we need a powerful speaker…," the jock
Tachibana said. He didn't need to finish his sentence.
The person in question smiled under literally every eye in
the class, raised her hand, and assumed a comically
authoritative tone. "Then…it's gotta be me!"
The class laughed at her exaggerated confidence. Amazing
how she could wring a laugh out of the slightest nuance of
tone or words. If she messed it up at all, the silence
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afterward would be incredibly awkward, but she never made
a mistake. Her words truly did hold power.
"Yes…I think this one definitely has to go to Aoi!" Izumi
announced happily, and Hinami gave a conciliatory smile.
It was true, though. When I thought about the scene
where Alucia had to bluff in front of the king himself to save
Libra, the role did seem perfect for Hinami. Good choice.
"But won't you be double-booked with your work as
student council president? Will you be okay?" Izumi asked
worriedly.
Hinami reflected for a moment. "I might not be able to
come to all the rehearsals, but if we have an understudy for
those times, it should be okay. As long as I have a copy of the
script, I can pull it off!" she said confidently.
Her words really were powerful. She had convinced
everyone she could do it, so no one contested the decision.
And I had no doubt she would excel at the acting.
"Okay then, thank you! Unless anyone else wants that
part, we'll go with Hinami!" said Izumi.
No one raised their hand, so the role of Alucia easily went
to Hinami. That left Libra and Kris.
"Okay, next… How do you imagine Libra?" Izumi asked
Kikuchi-san.
Libra. He was the son of the locksmith, a young
commoner. He was sentenced to death for opening the
forbidden door to the garden where the flying dragon was
kept, but Alucia saved him by claiming he was her brother.
Kikuchi-san must have been waiting for the question,
because she didn't panic this time.
"Libra… He's very curious, and good at getting close to
people…"
"Hey, that sounds like me!" Takei said, before she'd
finished talking. Stop, dude. He did match the specific traits
she'd just listed, but come on. Just stop.
"And he's smart…"
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"Oh, never mind…"
But as she continued, he dejectedly pulled back. Well
done, Takei. You do know yourself.
"I think those are the basics."
Apparently, no one in the class matched that description
very well, because we didn't gravitate to any one person like
we had with Hinami. I couldn't think of the perfect person
for the role, either.
We had to nominate people for the role or get volunteers.
The nominees were Mizusawa, the basketball player
Tachibana, and Yanagisawa, a jock I didn't know. Takei
volunteered, too. Well, that was a rapid recovery, Takei.
But I don't like your chances.
"All right, let's choose which of these people would be the
best Libra," Izumi said before taking a vote.
Honestly, I didn't think any of them was a perfect choice,
but I voted for Tachibana, who I felt was the closest fit based
on our few, very brief conversations. I could have voted for
Mizusawa, but he was too smooth, too much of a flirt to play
Libra. Libra would never go out and hit on girls.
But since voting was based mostly on popularity,
Mizusawa won with twenty-four votes. Thanks to the girls,
he won in a landslide. Damn, this guy…
"Well, I've gotta say, I'm not sure this role is for me, but if
you want me to play it that bad, you can count on me!"
He acted like he was being passive while letting everyone
know he would do well, so he came off as super reliable. Was
this another facet of the Mizusawa Method…?
Anyway, I think it turned out for the best. He was
extremely versatile, not to mention his amazing speeches
during the student council election, and I knew he'd do a
good job with the acting. He probably was a good choice.
Now that we were assigning roles, this was all starting to
feel real. Very exciting. Kikuchi-san's story really was going
to be made into the class play.
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And the main roles had gone to Hinami and Mizusawa,
who were both good-looking and reliable actors. I bet this
would go over well with the other classes.
"Next is Kris. What's your image of her?"
Kris. The orphan girl who was shut away from the world
in the palace garden to raise the flying dragons.
Kikuchi-san thought for a moment before answering.
"Kris is timid, but honest and innocent. A bit childlike…I
would say." She must have been getting more and more used
to her role, because she hardly sounded nervous at all now.
Our classmates thought about who would fit the role and
started calling out names.
Izumi, Mimimi, Tama-chan, and a friend of Hinami's
named Uehara-san were nominated. No one volunteered.
It's hard to volunteer for an "innocent" role, I guess. By the
way, I thought Tama-chan would turn down her nomination
right away, but she accepted it without protest. So she
wouldn't mind being chosen?
Izumi looked a bit flustered. "I-I'm on the list…? Well,
okay, let's choose the person for this role."
She took a vote, and Tama-chan won with fifteen votes.
Izumi got eleven, so it was a fairly close race.
"Huh? Me?" Tama-chan said, sounding surprised.
Everyone was looking at her with congratulatory smiles.
Their eyes didn't show the slightest hint of hostility or
aggression.
Actually, it was amazing she won. She was the perfect
person for an "honest, innocent, and slightly childlike" role,
but our classmates didn't used to like that about her before—
just look at the whole mess with Konno. And now here she
was with the most votes, leaving her mentor in the dust. I
must say I was very pleased.
So the main characters had been cast.
Mizusawa was playing Libra, the locksmith's son.
Hinami was playing Libra's childhood friend Alucia, the
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strong-willed princess in line for the throne.
Tama-chan was playing Kris, the orphan girl shut away in
the palace garden to care for the flying dragons.
The casting had actually turned out really well. Tamachan's acting ability was an unknown, but she was similar
enough to her character that I didn't see any red flags.
After that, we cast the smaller roles, and even though each
decision involved a mix of nominations and volunteers, the
choices generally seemed like good fits.
But when it came time to cast Rei, a female knight of the
castle, we had a minor incident.
Kikuchi-san described the character like this: "Her will is
strong, and so is her skill with the sword. Also, she takes
good care of those below her."
The description already brought a certain person to mind,
but the decisive factor was the description written on the
summary sheet.
"The captain of the castle's female equestrian guard. She
monitors the actions of Libra, Alucia, and Kris as the castle
rules demand, but when it matters most, she takes their
side. She is tall, with long blond hair and a sharp gaze."
Ever since the role of Alucia went to Hinami, everyone
had been interested in a certain other member of the class.
That person was twirling her bleached hair around her
fingertip and looking out at the class with a slightly
surprised expression.
Izumi brought her hands together in a gesture of pleading
and addressed her. "Please, Erika! Can you take this one?"
Erika Konno sighed with irritation.
The strong-willed girl who had long blond hair, a sharp
gaze, and took care of those below her—that was absolutely
Konno.
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"Whatever, I guess…" She sighed, accepting the role with
surprising ease. Huh. I thought she'd get all grumpy and
turn it down, but she was going to do it. I wondered if it was
because her friend Izumi had asked her, or if she had a
hidden love for the theater. Well, whatever the reason, the
role suited her perfectly, so it was a good thing for the play.
"Is that it? Then let's have a round of applause for the
cast!" Izumi said, fully comfortable in her role now, and we
all complied.
Kikuchi-san stared at the blackboard like it was a miracle,
clapping softly with her dainty little hands. Her spirit
seemed to be floating in the air.
Of course it was.
Right now, at this very moment, the fantasy she'd
dreamed up and written down as a story had happened to
end up in my hands, and now it was being performed as the
class play.
I knew that feeling.
You take a single step forward, and suddenly, the whole
world spreads out before you.
Kikuchi-san must have been wholly immersed in that
experience right then.
Just imagining it made my heart pound. I was glad I
suggested her story to the class, even if it pulled us out of our
comfort zones.
* * *
After the class meeting, I went with Kikuchi-san to the
library.
She was going to spend the next few days writing a script
for the class to use, and I'd come to the library to talk it over
with her. I had to do something about my last photo quest,
the shot of Izumi eating ice cream, but I assumed Izumi
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would be staying late at school. I'd try to figure something
out on the way home. I couldn't abandon Kikuchi-san just
for an assignment.
"Great job today, Kikuchi-san."
She must have been reeling from how new the whole
experience was. I knew more than anyone the emotional toll
of being plunged into something so intense, so the words
really came from my heart.
"Thank you… I'm a little tired."
Kikuchi-san giggled, and her smile was fresh and bright.
She was tired, but I think it was the good kind of tired.
"Don't you think the casting went well?"
"…Yes. The actors matched my image perfectly," she said,
smiling softly.
"But now you've got to write the script…"
"Th-that's true…"
She tensed up a bit as I shifted into a getting-down-tobusiness tone, and she pressed her lips together with
determination for the job ahead. I'd learned that tone from
Hinami in our meetings.
"You're still not sure how to end it, right?"
"…Right."
That was going to be the biggest challenge.
"So you'll be able to adapt the rest directly from the
story…but now you have to figure out the climax."
I'd checked with Izumi about how long the play could be,
and she said up to twenty minutes. That was about the same
length as an anime or drama on TV if you left out the
opening and closing credits and commercials, which was
probably a good way to imagine it.
Since it was a short story to start with, she shouldn't have
to cut too much to make it into a play.
But the ending would be all the more important.
"What are you unsure about, specifically?" I asked her.
Honestly, I wasn't sure I could come up with a good
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suggestion even if she told me what the problem was. But I
was hoping talking it out might help her think of something
on her own.
"…Well…," she began, still thinking. "The part I'm most
unsure about is, when Libra gets together with Kris or
Alucia…what should happen to the other one?"
"Oh…yeah, I see the problem."
That probably would be one of the things the audience
remembered most. Even though romance wasn't the core of
the story, whenever love was involved, people tended to
focus on that. And they would probably feel for whichever
character didn't end up with Libra.
It was a small detail, but it would change people's overall
impression of the story. At least, in the opinion of a novice
like me.
"Um…have you already decided who Libra will end up
with?"
"No, I'm still not sure. Maybe…I'm afraid to decide." She
sighed.
"Oh, okay…"
She'd said the same thing before—she'd come to love
these characters, so she was especially wary of ruining the
story.
"I'm afraid to decide the fate of all three characters at
once." She lowered her head. "I think I've been unsure of
this part ever since I came up with the story."
"Oh…"
This was going to be tough to solve.
She was afraid to pair Libra with Kris or Alucia, but that
didn't mean she wanted him to be with neither of them. She
knew she had to choose one or the other, but she was afraid
to make the decision.
There was no right answer to this problem.
"Well, then…"
But maybe not having a right answer would make it easier
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to solve.
I wanted to give her a way to find the answer. I wasn't
sure if my suggestion would help, but I wanted to tell her my
general approach to these things. When you have a question
with no right answer, there's only one standard for deciding
problems like that.
"If you were Libra, who do you think you would choose?"
That was it.
The world is full of problems with no right answer. In the
end, those problems are always decided based on individual
preferences—some hazy notion of what would be more fun.
That was the underlying reason why I played Atafami, too.
If that was true for me, then the easiest way for Kikuchisan to choose, and the way that was least likely to leave her
with regrets, would be for her to decide based on her own
preferences—on what she wanted.
But she shook her head. "No, I don't think that would
work."
"…Why not?"
When she answered, she sounded somehow lonely. "I may
have an idea of what I'd like to do in his place."
"Yeah?"
"But I need to think about what would be best for the
story. What path for the characters would be ideal for that
world? That's why I'm having trouble deciding."
"What would be ideal for that world…"
To tell the truth, I probably only understood about half of
what she was saying. But I did know that in her own way,
she was trying to face her creation head-on.
"I feel like bringing my personal feelings into it would
somehow lack integrity…"
"Hmm…"
She'd clearly put a lot of thought into this, and it wasn't
like I had some deep philosophy that I could argue for. Was
there anything else I could say?
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As I puzzled over the answer, Kikuchi-san took a deep
breath.
"Um, Tomozaki-kun?"
"Yeah?" I answered, my guard completely down.
She looked me straight in the eye.
"Do you like anyone right now?"
A weird, choking sort of noise escaped my mouth.
"M-m-m-m-me?"
Kikuchi-san was staring at me with a red but very serious
face. "Yes… You."
Our eyes met. Hers were as pure as a child's, twinkling
with an innocence that seemed to purify everything it took
in.
"I—I… I'm not sure."
I couldn't tell her I was supposed to be thinking about
exactly that question right now, so I just mumbled a vague
reply. I couldn't just say the name that rose to my mind.
"Oh," she muttered, sounding a little deflated. Then she
turned her impassioned eyes on me again.
"Well, just imagine, then. Imagine you cared about more
than one person…"
"…Uh-huh…"
Her petite, beautifully shaped lips had so much power
behind them, slight as the movements were.
"And if you were only able to choose one of them…"
It wasn't truly magic; it was the simple power of words.
"…who would you choose?"
I couldn't help being startled.
Her question was gently stirring up everything that had
settled at the bottom of my heart.
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It was as if she was asking me to look closely at what was
rising up inside me.
For a moment, I couldn't speak, and I felt an emotion I'd
never really experienced before bubbling up.
Her question was hard for me to answer right then.
"Well, to tell you the truth…"
She was asking me with total sincerity.
Kikuchi-san was a shy girl. Just asking a guy her age a
question about love probably took a huge amount of energy.
It wouldn't be right to answer with a lie, or a theoretical
ideal, or a front, or a future goal. I had to tell her what I was
thinking and feeling now, as I was.
So I took responsibility and dived down deep inside my
heart to see what my real emotions were—and there, I found
something I'd been trying not to see for some time.
It was the answer to Kikuchi-san's question—and also, I
think, to Hinami's assignment. Embarrassing as it was, this
was what I'd found.
"I don't feel like I have the right to choose another
person."
There it was. Once I'd said the words, I was certain of how
true they were.
"…Um…" Kikuchi-san seemed confused.
Hinami had asked me over and over who I was going to
choose. She'd even made me imagine what I'd do if different
girls told me they liked me.
Here was the underlying reason I'd put off answering.
Of course, I didn't want to be insincere and pick someone
without knowing my own emotions, but there was a bigger
reason.
It was the seventeen years I'd spent convinced I deserved
to be at the bottom.
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I wasn't worthy of being chosen, let alone choosing
someone else. If I had to say, I was more like a harmless rock
lying by the side of the road. Nothing more, nothing less.
I could never choose someone else, much less take
responsibility for involving myself in someone else's life. In
fact, I shouldn't.
I could only handle the responsibilities of my own life—
that belief was a solid conviction, founded on my own
weakness.
When Hinami had asked me to imagine girls saying they
liked me, I was embarrassed by the vivid picture of such a
scenario, but the most powerful force on my heart was the
inexpressible guilt of imposing myself on other people. The
imaginary voice jeering at me for having the audacity to
choose another person when I was so pathetic. The
underlying sense of incompetence that controlled all my
thoughts about the game of life I was playing.
And it had nested deep in my heart.
For a moment, Kikuchi-san couldn't find a reply.
"…So that's how you feel," she finally said.
I wasn't sure how much of my thoughts she'd guessed, but
she nodded gently.
"Yeah. So honestly, that kind of stuff is hard for me to talk
about… I'm sorry."
I could hear how lifeless my own voice sounded, but I
couldn't hide it now. It was like some switch had been
flipped, and all the dark parts of me were spilling out
uncontrollably.
"…I understand."
We were both silent for a little while, and it was
suffocating. I'd never felt like that with Kikuchi-san before.
I'd let her see the worst of me.
"…Yeah, I'm sorry."
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I felt awful, and I at least wanted to apologize for that.
With that, Kikuchi-san and I left the library.
* * *
When I went back to the classroom to get my bag, Mimimi,
Izumi, and Nakamura's group were still there, along with a
few other people. They were making signs and menus for the
manga café.
"Yo, Farm Boy!"
"Hey."
I managed to make my voice sound somewhat normal as I
answered Takei's greeting and joined up with the group.
"Hey, it's the director."
"Pfft, you mean me? I don't remember agreeing to that."
I managed to joke around a little with Mizusawa, too. I
was so used to this kind of banter that I could at least fake it
even when I felt crappy.
But for some reason, Mizusawa gave me a suspicious look.
"Fumiya?"
"Yeah, what?" I said, no awkward pause or anything.
He glanced around the group, and I did the same.
Everyone was working on their projects. After another
pensive pause, he said, "No, never mind."
"Huh?" I asked.
He smiled slightly and nodded. "Hey, I heard from Gumi.
She said she's coming to our festival."
"Oh, really? She is?"
We shifted into chat mode. Something felt slightly off, but
maybe I was imagining it.
As we talked, I heard Mimimi heckling us from behind.
"Hey, who are you talking about?!"
"None of your business."
"You're so mean, Takahiro!"
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"Wanna get going?" Mizusawa said casually, and everyone
took his lead. A few minutes later, we all left school.
When we got to the station, we scattered in various
directions to head home.
I kept up my normal outer appearance, joining in the
conversation so no one would guess how weirdly depressed I
felt.
But when I was in this funk, my brain couldn't handle the
extra task of figuring out how to take a picture of Izumi
eating ice cream, my final photo quest, so I ended up saying
good-bye without making a move.
Mimimi and I got off at Kitayono Station.
"We finally made it!" she said.
"Uh, it was only one stop from Omiya…"
"You could also say that!"
"Um, I think you could only say that…"
We walked along side by side, joking around as usual.
"By the way, Mr. Tomozaki!!"
"Wh-what?"
Mimimi made her hand into a microphone like she was
interviewing me. Usually, when she did that, it meant she
was about to drop a bomb of a question. I braced for impact.
"Who is this mysterious Gumi-chan?"
"…Um, uh…"
But her question turned out to be fairly silly. I was
expecting something that cut a bit deeper, so I was almost
disappointed.
"Hmm, a lackluster reaction."
"Uh, well… She's just a girl who works with Mizusawa and
me."
"I-is that really all? Sounds suspicious."
"Yeah, surprisingly, that's really all…"
Mimimi usually had a very sharp sense for the subtleties
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of relationships, but this time, her guess missed the mark.
Huh. Actually, that was a good thing. I'd be in trouble if she
always saw right through me.
"But it sounds like you went to her school festival?"
"Yeah, because I was invited."
Who did she hear that from? Maybe Mizusawa mentioned
it like it was no big deal? Not that there was anything to
hide, of course.
"You are acting suspicious! And I heard she goes to a girls'
school!"
"Why does that matter?"
Okay, I admit, going into a girls' school is akin to illegally
crossing a national border.
Now Mimimi was acting sullen. Why? "It's just…you don't
seem like the type to hang out at girls' schools."
"Hey, do you really think they'd arrest me for showing up
at a girls' school? Plus, Mizusawa got a proper invitation."
"That doesn't exactly make me feel better…" She pouted
even more. What?
"What do you mean?"
"…Nothing!"
She glared at me fiercely. Wh-why are you getting mad?
Then she gave a loud sigh. "Tomozaki, you're really cool
sometimes, but when you're not, you're really, really not."
"I—I am? I mean, there are times when I'm cool?" I asked
in all seriousness.
She glared at me harder. "Yes! You helped me out a lot,
and you worked really hard to help Tama, too!"
"O-oh. Right. Sorry." Now that she was borderline hostile,
I couldn't help apologizing. I think I might have said the
wrong thing.
The next sigh was even louder. Lots of sighs today.
Probably all of them my fault.
"You don't need to apologize for that."
"Oh, okay."
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"I respect my Brain, you know."
"Huh?" I said. That was unexpected. "You respect me?"
Her eyes met mine. "Yes, I do. Is that weird?"
"N-no, not weird, exactly, but…I feel bad, or…"
I was struggling to convey my emotions.
Mimimi ran her finger over the hand-sewn seam on the
charm attached to her bag. "Do you remember when I told
you you're like Tama?"
"…Yeah."
I nodded. Mimimi and Hinami had both said that to me.
And after going through the Konno ordeal with her, I had to
agree that the foundation of my way of thinking was similar
to hers.
"You're both scaredy-cats, but when you make up your
mind to do something, you do it. You head straight for what
you want. It's everything I want to be but can't. I think you
two are amazing."
Her words reminded me of what Izumi had said to me a
while back.
"…Oh."
Mimimi was a different kind of person from Tama-chan
and me. She could do anything. She was great at adapting to
her surroundings, while Tama-chan and I were terrible at it.
But in exchange, you could say we had more confidence
about saying what we thought and sticking to it.
Just as I couldn't do what Mimimi did, maybe she
couldn't do what Tama-chan and I did. Even if she wanted
to.
I was trying to figure out how to reply when she stopped
walking one step ahead of me and grinned.
"That's what I like about you."
"Uh…"
I was at a loss for words. Um, what did she just say?
I stared at her face as my brain completely stalled.
She opened her mouth wide and laughed. "…Ha-ha! You
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thought I meant I liked you like that, didn't you?!"
"N-no, I didn't…!"
Oh, come on! Bottom-tier characters are always jumping
to conclusions about this stuff, so at least be a little careful!
People talk about how they can't use a heart emoji on LINE
without sending the wrong message, but it takes way less
than that to confuse me! I haven't gotten a single heart emoji
in my life; dealing with this face-to-face is way too much for
me.
As I scrambled to cover up my mistake, Mimimi smiled
teasingly.
"Actually, I do like you like that."
"What?"
"Bye!"
She ran off ahead of me and turned the corner where we
usually split up. Wait, my brain hasn't caught up yet! Huh?
What?