'Funny how you may desire things that you haven't tested before as much as you would think you would run mad if you were not granted them.'
Samantha Lily Adams
I have always known from the beginning that Samantha was much wiser and too clever for her age but it doesn't seem to faze me any lesser when I always see her pull that side of her out.
But knowing she is also much wiser for her age doesn't also take the guilt off of my chest knowing what I am doing to her is not good.
I feel like pulling her to me is a selfish act that I could ever do to her but my heart's desires are always on a different path and different doing ever since it found its home here.
But it's a home that always feels like I don't deserve it.
I look at Samantha and I wonder what would make her think like that? Am I taking advantage of her that much that it is so obvious to her on this kind of level?
'What would cause her to assume like that?'
"No, no Samantha it is not like that." He says and I frown at him because I do not understand it.
"Yes, I rented this place for a year but do not intend to ask you to move in with me because am not moving here either."
"Then what is it for?" He sighs looking like he doesn't know how to put it in words for me. I sigh eager to know what is going on.
I look at him as I wait for him to say something but he just looks away from my gaze.
"Listen, this has nothing to do with us moving here permanently at all. I just love this side of the country and I've toured here so much that I have grown to like this place. The quietness, the welcoming feeling, the beautiful aura that comes along with the beautiful sight all together. I don't know it's grown on me somehow and I did this, what I did with nothing but just the purest intention of making this our gateway place." He says and I smile at him. I've had an understanding of it a little when he started explaining but hearing just beautiful words and consideration from him makes my heart melt.
"I like the idea," I say and he looks surprised.
"You do?" I nod my head excitedly.
"I love places like these too." He finally smiles at me and I walk into his arms and hug him.
We pull away and I lean in to kiss him.
He brings his hands on my cheeks and tugs my lips on his.
He deepens the kiss by using his tongue in my mouth devouring me wholly.
I feel the desire to get some air to my lungs and he pulls back from my lips when he feels it too but he moves his lips down to my jawline.
I move my head to the side giving him enough access to my neck.
I feel tingles fill my body when I feel him sucking on my skin just behind my ear. A desirable moan comes from my lips.
I could feel the purge purse right in between my legs. The desire to guarantee the attention there becomes so overbearing to me. And as ridiculous as it sounds this is my first time feeling like that.
"Kai," I call desperately and he stops and pulls back.
I open my closed eyes and look at him.
"Why did you stop?"
He moves his hand to my neck and I love the firm grip he grips it but not the one hard enough to choke me.
"You want me to carry on?" He asks and I nod.
It draws on me on what I might be nodding my head at so I try to walk away but he holds me back.
"Where do you think you are going?" He asks smirking and grinning at me like he knows what is going on in my mind.
"I…want some fresh air." The sentence blurts itself out.
"Let me help with that." He says and am wondering what he means by that when I feel his strong arms sweep me up in his arms and carry me bridal style to the bedroom that he walked out from.
He lays me on the bed and towers his big body over me. I know what this position means and how I can hear my heartbeat pounding in my ears is how I can feel the excitement fill me up.
We lay there with him staring at me beautifully, I don't know why but this experience I am going through with Kai is making me feel artistically out of nowhere when I know am not anywhere close to being on in any way.
I feel like I would want to draw this look in his eyes and the position we laying in and keep it in my museum.
"What are you thinking about?" He asks and I smile as I reply.
"You." He also smiles.
"Me what?"
"You with those beautiful lips on me," I say bringing my hands to the back of his head and pulling him down to me.
He complies and kisses me the way am growing to love quickly. Sweet, slow full of attention in the kiss like if he went any harsher he would break me down. He uses his tongue and am also growing to love him kissing me with his tongue.
We pull away as I gasp for air but he doesn't pull away from me instead I feel him kissing me down my chin and he continues to my neck and keeps going all the way down to my cleavage.
I feel like kicking myself for the choice of clothes I chose today.
Because my cleavage is covered with the top I wore and I would have liked his lips on me without anything in between.
He moves down to my stomach and lays kisses on my lower belly.
Glad for me the top was short and reached in the middle of my waist.
He moves his lips down as far as they can get at the start of my jeans and I feel something stop in me.
It's when I realize how I am breathing heavily and when he stops to look at me, I feel embarrassed.
He moves back up to me to the same eye level as mine again.
"Do you want me to stop Samantha?" 'Nooo.'
But instead of saying that I just shake my head.
"Am going to need you to look at me in the eyes and say it with your mouth very loud and clear darling for me." 'Am I capable of doing that now? Nooo.'
I don't do anything of that he asks, I just keep looking at the door with my heartbeat beating as fast and harder as it can get.
"Okay," he says and I feel him start getting off the top of me.
"Sorry to move over your boundaries and for pushing your wants." He gets off of me but am I going to let him slip away? 'Nooo.'
I move myself up and hold back his hand before he gets away.
"Please carry on," I say in a whisper and I still can't bring myself to look up at him as I say it.
"Carry on with what?" He asks and I hate how much he teases me during the time of this action.
"With what you were doing?"
He sits back on the bed and says.
"Enlighten me, darling. What was I doing again?" 'Is he serious now?'
"Am out." I blurt out and turn to get off of the bed on the other side but with one swift movement.
I let go of his hand and he got hold of mine and pulled me down I am now lying on the bed again with him on top of me instead this time my legs bent with my feet on the ground.
His knee is bent in between my legs while his other is on the ground too.
"Where do you think you are going." He asks possessively, I would think he is angry but the look in his eyes says otherwise.
There is amusement dancing in his blue eyes that makes me know he is anything but angry.
"Am…. I uhm… I uh was-s." I sigh because am way past speaking.
He took me by surprise but it's not the surprise not making me speak.
It's the movement and the position we are in that makes me feel more exposed than I was in the first position.
"Promise me to tell me when I do something that makes you uncomfortable?" He asks and I nod.
He pulls the top that I was wearing off and I move my arms up to help him get it off of me.
The whole time he is looking at me and I am looking at him too curiously.
My boobs harden the second his eyes fall on them.
I didn't wear a bra today but when I see him look at them and clench his jaw am starting to think I should have worn one.
I reach up to cover them with my hands but he pulls them away and holds each of them with one of his hands to the sides of me.
"Stop." He says still clenching his jaw. "Allow me to see you like this," he says strengthening the hold he has on my hands but not that hurtful.
"You look so magically angelic." He says and I know my cheeks are madly turning red.
He looks into my eyes again.
"You are so beautiful darling don't ever think otherwise." He pauses. "So perfect."
I clear my throat trying to get back my voice back. "Um thank you," I say and he smiles down at me.
He leans in and kisses me again.
I feel him let go of my one hand and when he does I move it behind his short blonde hair.
I like how so short he keeps it always, it gives him a manly and intimidating look that I like so much.
He moves his free hand on my body from my arm to my waist and grips his hold on my waist.
I think am used to it but I feel myself lose it when he moves his hand up and cups one of my breasts in his big palm and grip.
I moan out, I feel the inside of between my legs calling for attention and when I try to close my legs together, he moves his knee in closer them right in my entrance.
Another desirable moan escapes from my lips. His actions are starting to become much and so quickly for me to catch up too.
But again the quickness is what is getting me all desiring things that I never thought I would desire this much.
Funny how you may desire things that you haven't tested before as much as you would think you would run mad if you were not granted them.
His lips have moved down to one of my breasts and sucking and biting on my nipple.
The image of his mouth on my nipple and his hand doing wonders on the other looks so sinful but I love the feeling of it.
He switches from one breast to the other and when he does, he raises his eyes on me and they fall on mine as he is giving the same attention to the other nipple as he did to the first one.
I could feel myself losing control of my breathing and I think it's over when I feel him move back up to me and kiss me on the lips calming me back down.
But am way past the calming down.
While he is kissing me, I try to free my other hand from his and he allows it but when he does, I take control of his and lead it inside my jeans wanting him to do wonders there because it's starting to get desirous and painful.
He pulls back and moves away from on top of me.
"Let's go outside." He says and I frown.
I don't get to ask because he interrupts again.
"I will use the bathroom quickly and find you there." He doesn't give me time to reply before he disappears out of the room leaving me there hot, desiring, and bothered.
I hate feeling like a neglected kid but him leaving me like he just did makes me feel that way.
I wanted to follow him into the bathroom and demand some more actions but my dignity wouldn't let me.
I sigh and put on my top back feeling more stupid than I think I have ever felt in my whole life.
I walk outside and at least am glad there is a view and a calming vibe around here that is so calming.
I walked to the back side where I saw some sun pool chairs decorated in white and black colors giving the chairs a look of zebra.
I walk there lay on one of them and close my eyes.
I want to try and stop thinking of anything because my thoughts are getting louder and so louder every second for me to bear but unfortunately getting to shut everything off is not an option because at the moment it seems impossible.
"Samantha you are here?" Kai asks as he walks over to me.
"I was about to call you. Haven't you heard me calling?" He asks then I shake my head because I haven't.
"I want to sleep," I say and he nods as he moves closer to me.
"Here?" He says giving me his hand to take and I want to refuse but I still nod.
"Move, let me show you." He takes my hand and pulls me up to him before he lays on the chair spreads his legs apart and makes room for me in between them.
I want to refuse but who am I to do so?
I walk and make myself comfortable in between his legs.
I lay on his hard chest and it's much more comfortable than sleeping on a bare sun lounged chair.
He rests his one hand on my belly and the other behind his head.
"This feels so much better," I say dreamily with my eyes closed.
He doesn't reply instantly and I start thinking of sleeping when I hear him say after some time of us laying there.
"Am sorry." He says and I open my eyes surprised at what he is apologizing for.
I don't move nor do I say anything because I have a feeling he thinks am asleep.
"Am sorry for acting like I neglected you," he says running his fingers in my hair, and am not going to lie it's the sweetest thing I have ever felt.
Me laying in his legs and on him like this.
"I want you so much Samantha, I desire you a lot and at night I miss you a lot and when I get to think of what I would do to you and your little innocent body I realize how selfish and unworthy I am of you." He moves his palm on my forehead and runs his fingers smoothly at the spot before my eyebrows.
"You are so young Samantha, so pure, so innocent and the only thing you deserve is the world darling. Am sorry I pushed your boundaries today and did nothing after and just kept you hanging but I promise you from today onwards darling I am just going to love you like you deserve and be the boyfriend that I know your father wishes for you to have. Am sorry for overstepping the appropriate line with you with what I did but I promise from today onwards I will wait for you."
His words make me cry.
Am glad I pretended to be sleeping because I don't think I would find words to meet his beautiful ones.
'How lucky am I or what good deed did I ever do in my life to deserve such a first boyfriend like Kai?'