'But the heart wants what it wants.'
I feel a wave of loneliness hit me the moment she walks out of those doors, somehow I want to get out of my suite and follow her and beg her to come back to me but I have to slow down if I want this newfound relationship to last longer.
Samantha is young, so young that if I thought about it much longer, I would kill myself with the guilty feeling of what I am doing.
I can feel the tension in her when she is around me or when I get closer to her, I know it's not because am doing what she doesn't want me to but I have to figure out what brings the tension in her body.
I stay sat on the floor but I really can't stand the silence in the room anymore, I can't allow myself to be alone and give myself time to think. I am never good at it and it always leads to some strong decisions being made, so I stand up and walk back in my room to change for the second time this evening.
I can't just sit here knowing pretty well that the girl getting on my nerves and having my mind go nuts is in the same building with me.
I get changed from my sweat pants and long-sleeved shirt and change into some black pants that I top with a polo shirt that I tug in my pants and wear some sports shoes.
Sitting here knowing pretty well that Samantha is in this building with me, it's not an option for me to take.
I walk out of my room and walk down to the lobby.
For the two years that I have lived here, I have managed to make a small group of friends that I hang out with but the one to go to is always Joshua. And he so happens to be a receptionist at this hotel.
I walk to him and seeing me he gives me a big smile that I know just signals trouble but I also didn't get dressed and walked down here for nothing.
"Hey man," I say to him when I reach where he is and he is still smiling at me.
"A miracle of the dead rising back to life. Where have you been?" I shrug my shoulders at him.
"Caught up with work." He looks at me and then smirks.
"It's your loss, so to what do I owe this pleasure." He moves his hands up and points them towards me.
I shake my head because one thing I will never get used to it's his drama.
"I want you to come get a drink with me. You know it's been long since we've had that."
He moves his hands down but not before taping them on the counter in front of him.
"That's a first in a long time and the other guys said they missed you."
"Yeah well, am here tonight."
"On my working night, you sure hate me. I've heard rumors of it but I never believed it for even a second but now I can see it." He says and the sad look he is giving me, makes me chuckle at him.
I look at him and shrug my shoulders. "It's so unfortunate for you to be working on a Friday night shift so if you want to blame anyone. Blame your unlucky self, anyway See you on Sunday."
I say to him and wink at him before I turn and walk away from him.
I know he needs to talk back to me but he can't shout while being on a post.
I walk to the parking lot and get in one of my jeeps before I pull it on the drive. I don't have somewhere to go but I know I don't want to be alone so I opt to go out with some of my friends to get by through the night.
SAMANTHA LILY ADAMS
I know I might be a mess but I hope my sister doesn't caught up on what I have been to.
I would like to introduce her to my boyfriend but I feel like the time is not right, so I pray for her to not be in her detective mode.
I walk back to the restaurant and as if the night couldn't get any more unfortunate, Savannah is sitting right at the same table that me and Kai were occupying not too long ago.
She is sitting in the same seat I was sitting in while staring at the entrance.
She waves me over with a smile on her face and I nod my head as I feel my legs carry me to where she is.
I walk to her and take a seat in front of her.
"Hey," I say trying to sound as casual as I can while pulling a chair out for me to sit on.
"Hey, how are you? I realized you didn't come to school." She asks and I just nod before I say.
"I wasn't feeling great in the morning and I felt tired so I decided not to go. Did I miss much?" She shakes her head.
"Not really, but somehow you did miss a lot. The school is hosting a talent show that is taking place before the semester ends and I think that was all I could say you missed tea about. So I ordered us some food. I was starving. It's your favorite pasta." She says and I hate how it takes me back to the food I ordered for me and Kai to have which we don't get to finish.
I wonder what he is doing now? It's so depressing to miss him and want him like I feel right now and not get to see him when we are in the same building.
"Sam? Back to earth." Savannah snaps her fingers in front of my eyes and I blink my eyes before I turn to her.
"Sorry, thank you for the order," I say to her but I lost my appetite a long time ago when I realized I could still be with Kai if I hadn't been so rushing to make things up with my sister.
After being served the food, the waiter walks away and Savannah starts eating with no care in the world.
I don't know why I am bothered by how she is acting but I don't know how to say it to her, it's like everything is alright and nothing happened.
We eat in silence with her humming and moaning now and then.
But it carries me to a point where I feel like I can't take it anymore.
"Savannah, you haven't told me anything about us yet? What did I do?" I ask and she raises her eyes at me like she is answering me through them.
I am not a good expression reader but her face is not showing anything.
"During the talent show, there will be competition about matches between some schools with us."
I frown not understanding what she is saying. "What?"
"Lucas and Yarrow are going to be busy for the matches and oh did I tell you?" She asks and I say nothing because am still confused.
"Am also performing then."
"Savannah what are you talking about?" I ask and she smiles at me.
"Am talking about the talent show. Anyway, you should also find what to do then, I mean me and Yarrow are performing so don't be a party pooper and do nothing." I look back at my plate before I say.
"I have no talent to show cast."
"Come on, on Monday find out of everything taking place I know you can't miss where you would fit. Me and some girlfriends we are dancing." I look at her and nod.
"You will still the show with your dances."
She chuckles before she says.
"Oh please." By now am regretting the decision I made to leave Kai and come down here.
"Anyway, can we leave? I want to go home and rest." I say after she finished eating because I've realized, she never came intending to mend things with me.
"Sam, you didn't go to school and now you are saying you want to rest." Am about to answer when she smiles at me.
"Mom is calling." She says while taking the call.
"Mom."
"Good."
"Soon, oh, and am with Sam's mom."
"Yes, we are coming."
"Yeah."
"Sure, love you too bye."
She hangs up before she says.
"Mom says she loves you and we should get home earlier."
"Am done, we should go whenever you are ready," I say and she finally nods and allows us to go.
We stand up and she pays for the dinner before we walk where we park our cars and head home.
I get home and take a shower before I walk back down to where my brother and my parents are gathered in the living room.
Tonight is a Friday night, so we are watching a movie till we start passing out on the couches and Dad has to carry us to our rooms.
"What are we watching tonight," I ask as I also make my presence known to them.
I am trying to get to where to sit when Yarrow calls me over with his open arms.
Am in a good mood that I don't feel annoyed by his affection and walk into his open arms and lay with him on a couch.
"I was thinking about something about family." He says and Dad replies to him.
"Choose one, but first go and call your other sister here."
"I am here Dad," Sav says walking into the living room, with her wet hair I can tell she also took a shower before coming.
"Thank God." I can hear Yarrow say under his breath behind me and I kick him in the stomach by my elbow for his laziness though I know if I were to be out in his footsteps, I would relate to his laziness.
"So, you people it is," Yarrow says before he starts the movie he just said.
"Where do I sit?" Savannah asks and I frown as I look at her still standing.
There is still an empty couch on the side but I know she asked because doesn't want to sit alone.
Am with Yarrow and Mom is with Dad, so the only option left for her is to be alone. Usually, the one to always be left alone in a time like this has always been Yarrow and he never whined so we never gave it a second thought but here we are now.
We are confused about the situation until Dad steps up to solve it. "Come here, darling. Sit on the carpet with me." Dad says unfolding himself from Mom which is a surprise.
Savannah smiles happily before she walks over to where Dad is already sitting on the floor and she takes the seat beside her.
Them sitting like that takes my memory back to Kai but I have to shake my head before I get him out because thinking about how I cut his and mine's time short, does nothing except depress me.
Mom hands Dad and Savannah a small blanket before we all finally turn our attention to the movie.
As we are getting deeper and deeper in the movie.
I keep picturing my and Kai's newfound relationship to that of the main characters in the movie.
And I keep filling my mind with fantasies of what it would be like doing some kind of stuff with him.
I think am in for something huge that I can't quite put my finger on yet.
TRENTON KAI ROYAL
Going with the guys out, really turned out to not be what I pictured in my head but now as I feel the place almost getting busted by music. I know I shouldn't have let Samantha go.
Clubs were never my thing, the only thing I wanted tonight was a strong drink that I shared with my guys but not a night that was about to damage my ears with the loud music around.
Everyone seems to be having the time of their lives but I feel left out because as I sit there feeling all the boredom that I have never felt, it's when I realize that no matter what we do the heart wants what it wants, you can't just fool it.
I finally feel myself go crazy and stand up and head outside.
There is a fresh night air but it's not enough to calm me down.
I look at the phone and it's late, I know I can't call Samantha at eleven in the evening.
That would be disrespectful but at least I can leave her with a message.
I hover over her number before I finally, drunk call her by voicemail.
'Samantha, it's me. Kai.
Listen am already missing you, I usually want to call but I know it's late and you might be sleeping probably so I just left this for you.
I miss you so much already and if you would allow me, please grant me your presence and time baby. I promise it will be nothing for you too and I guarantee you a good time too princess. Miss you, Goodnight princess.'
SAMANTHA LILY ADAMS
Mom got tired through the first movie and excused herself to go to bed, dad only stayed till the movie got to the end and then walked up the stairs to be with Mom.
We stuck together and started a series with only us three.
We are watching a second episode when my phone receives a voicemail. I check who sent it and I realize it's Kai.
My heartbeat instantly jumps a beat by it.
I know it's late and he probably meant for me to get it in the morning but just getting something from him excites me to the core that I can't wait for that long.
I've been fantasizing in each scene that people were romancing with one another and in each scene I pictured myself with him.
Now that I have a reality of him, I can't help but grin from left to right.
I pick up my phone and get on my feet.
"I don't know if I will come back but Goodnight to you two in case I don't," I say to my siblings before I clutch closely the phone on my chest and jog up the stairs.
I walk into my room and lock it from the inside before jumping on my bed, I lay down on my stomach and play the voicemail.
Hearing his voice only brings a much bigger smile to my face and listening to him telling me how much he misses me makes me feel like the night can't just get over.
I keep on replaying the voicemail a lot more times that suddenly I lose track of how many times but I realize I should just send him one too to let him know I have heard it and let him know that I miss him too if he is still awake.
I do not call him, I just make a voicemail.
'Kai, hey. I Uhm I don't know if you aren't asleep yet too so that's why I didn't call but I've heard your voicemail an...., and I uh I miss you too. Am sorry I cut our first time short again but tomorrow I will make up for it I promise.
I will come earlier to work so that we get the chance to spend the whole day and possibly a minute of it with each other. Miss you too so much. Goodnight.'
I send it and I can feel my cheek burning from the feelings running in me.
I don't know if he is asleep already or not but I can't wait for tomorrow.
I want to shout, scream, and yell but if I want to look normal and keep things to myself. I know that wouldn't be a smart move to do.
So I just replay Kai's voicemail close to my ear and feel the butterflies make me go insane, as I keep on replaying the pet names he called me. I allow myself to fall asleep with him on my mind, wondering what tomorrow would look like.
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