"Did you look at the excitement on their faces? Your Dad was extremely happy to finally hold Kai in his arms...not to mention your mother who kept having baby Kai the entire time." Wale said excitedly. Kind's parents had been asking to see the baby for a month now and Wale had advised them to wait a little longer since he wanted to finalize everything with Cherry first.
"With Cherry finally gone, I'll be bringing Kai more frequently to them...though I'm still surprised at how picky my baby has become. How is it that she has bonded very well with everyone but us two...including the nanny?"
"Well, she never saw me since I came so, of course, she'd be spooked out by my unfamiliar face..."
"Even so, you've always been great with kids...though I doubt that's a valid point since she still cries as soon as she sees me and her nanny."
"....Cherry must have hated us two when she was pregnant then...." Kind answered passively, his eyes on the road. He'd chosen to take the wheel since Wale seemed more exhausted than normal.
Kind didn't want to encourage the conversation further. He continued to drive to Wale's mansion after a while fell asleep. The ride was quite long from his parent's home, almost taking two hours. Kind had been relieved to finally get the chance to see Kai for the first time, though he was disappointed he hadn't gotten much time with her...maybe that was why she'd rejected him.
Come to think of it, why had Todo suddenly left after giving him a week of rest? Did he have urgent matters to attend to and what were they? As far as their schedule was concerned, they were to spend only a night at Wale's...though Todo had extended his stay with an extra day...
Wale must have had something to do with it. He'd been very passionate with him the last four days. Looking briefly at a sleeping Wale, Kind wondered where he hid that monstrous stamina of his that even now, he felt like his back was still hurting.
Was this how he normally had sex with other girls while they were fresh in collage? What about Cherry whom he'd dated afterwards? There was no way they'd accept that kind of rough sex...maybe Cherry would since she always wanted to be with Wale no matter what.
Shaking the thoughts away, Kind resolved to address the issue with Wale now that they'd left Kai at his parents, not to mention Wale pestering him to be his partner.
It kind of felt like Wale had been hearing his thoughts when he suddenly woke up and glanced at him once they reached.
"Let's go inside. We have a lot to talk about now that there are no distractions." Kind said without glancing back at Wale, who followed suit without objections.
"What did you want to talk about?" Wale asked, his body sluggish and eyes almost half open.
"You've been constantly bugging me about us dating so I wanted to explain why I took time to think about it and the reason for my decision...." Taking a deep breath after seeing no reaction from Wale, he continued.
"I don't think we should date."
Wale was suddenly alert upon hearing what Kind had said. He didn't say a word but just stared at Kind. Between his sunken heart and his head going blank upon Kind's declaration, he decided it was better to remain quiet and listen to Kind's reason for rejecting him.
"You must understand that I never once in my life thought of having children of my own...neither did I imagine us ever dating. Things are different now and yes, as much as I want to be with you, the responsibility of a child is enormous. Who will I be to Kai? His father? That is your responsibility...you chose it. Besides, the two of us being in a serious relationship will complicate Kai's life...these are things I never had to think of before but now I feel uneasy.
You've always wanted a family Wale...I on the other hand just wanted you."
"So what I'm I supposed to do? Abandon baby Kai? Give her up for adoption?"
"That's not my point..."
"Then what is your point K? You won't date me if I choose to raise baby Kai? It sounds like that is the choice you want me to make..."
It was clear Wale was feeling moody from lack of sleep. His usual nonchalant behaviour wasn't visible. "...honestly, I planned on what to say, and in my head, I knew the right words to use yet now, I find myself...stuttering...as if I'm doubting my conviction about this matter." Standing up, Kind paced around, trying to find a better way to put his point across without escalating the matter further.
"I feel like you're forcing Kai on me..."
"What?" Wale asked. His face was emotionless however, there was no doubt Kind's words had cut him deep. "To listen to you talk like this....and find out you've been pondering on what to say all this time... I'm not sure I want to have this discussion right now K."
"You forgot I know you too well Wale, otherwise why would you want to attach me to Kai by naming her after me?"
"You said Cherry wished for it!"
"We both know Cherry did that to spite me! She never cared about Kai and you've known that otherwise why would you want to keep a child that is not yours?"
"Because I've always wanted to have a family! A family K in which you were a part of and..." Wale stopped after realizing he was already on his feet. He felt frightened by the thought of Kind leaving him.
"Look Wale, I'm not asking you to leave Kai...all I'm saying is it has never crossed my mind to have a child. The moment I discovered I was gay, I accepted that reality, and neither have I ever thought of adoption. Secondly, I'd love you for so long and not once did I ever conjure an image in my mind of ou and I raised one. Wale.... you have your life figured out...you always did and you've achieved your goals of reclaiming what your parents left for you. On the other hand, I've just begun a new career, one that I like and enjoy. The responsibility of raising a child weighs me down...I have nothing to offer her and I can't live knowing I can barely provide for myself let alone her."
"So this is what you've been thinking about?" Wale said, feeling exasperated by the discussion. Maybe Kind had grown out of love with him and was just looking for a reason to bail out but then...that was unlike him. He'd have just avoided him as he previously used to. Then it hit him, Kind had never said he loved him unless they were lovemaking.
"Did you stop loving me?"
"This is not about that Wale...."
"Then what is it about then? Explain to me in a way I can understand!" Wale demanded, finally losing his temper.
"You force things on me thinking I'll always agree with you even if I don't like it and this issue is one of them! You always like to have your way, and if I don't agree with you, you still do whatever you want. I've lost count of the friends I've lost because of you...how many of my relationships ended because you wouldn't let me befriend another man! Right now, I'm talking to you but all you still want to do is have your way and I'm supposed to follow along like a fool! We'll date because you want to...you want a child, of course, you assumed I'd agree without consulting me first...we'd live here in this big mansion because you want to...you'd feed me, dress me, lock me up for you alone, have sex the way you want...if I decide to run away right now, you'd come after me because you can!
Wale, I want to build my life too, I can't continue to be dependent on you...I'm a man too and I have my pride! We've had this discussion many times but you never listen and do as you please this time, I'm putting my foot down since an innocent child is involved. You are a father now you can't keep on living like you're alone...making decisions by yourself..."
"Then what do you want K? I'll do whatever you want...ask me anything but don't tell me to stop hoping for a future with you in it! You made me this way...you gave me hope."
"I'm not responsible for your decisions Wale and neither I'm I saying I'm leaving you either. I don't want us to fight any more about this so let's just stop here." This was a mistake, Kind thought to himself. They were going nowhere talking like this. Besides an angry and desperate Wale was just burdensome to deal with.
"K, I like you....the last couple of months have been a bliss that made me wonder if I always felt this way about you...maybe I'm the one who liked you first too since every time you avoided me, I'd feel lost and torn apart." Wale quickly closed the gap between them, desperately wanting to hold Kind tight so he wouldn't run away.
"You have a family K...mother, father...Frank. You have people who check after you and honestly I hate that you attract a lot of people effortlessly to the point of them wanting to protect you...it infuriates me when someone is taking that position in your life when it's my job to do that Bunny."
Pulling Kind to his embrace, Wale closed his eyes and shook as he continued, "You smile so bright whenever you see Swalha. You smile at Todo as if you've known him for years. You sacrificed yourself for so long so Cherry would be happy... everyone always wants to be around you...as if they are trying to get your attention and keep you to themselves. Stop being so kind to everyone and be only nice to me....smile for me, laugh for only me....love no one else but me K Bunny"
"What a possessive desperate and selfish demand." Kind responded as he gently pushed Wale away. "I don't want to fulfil any of those crazy demands of yours. Besides, how blind can you be to not notice how many people care for you besides yourself? If anything were to happen to you right now, do you realize how many will risk everything to make sure you are safe that includes Todo and his mother, who has been actively taking care of you over the years without your knowledge? What about uncle Frank who's been more of a father to you than an uncle to me? What about my parents who consider you their son and might I add they've always known I like you for years...You always act as if you're living alone, solving your problems by yourself without depending on others....as if none of us is around..."
"I'm sorry K, I'll be less possessive and less selfish then....I'll do better for you...."
"Not just for me, do right by others too who don't look like me you dummy!"
Wale chuckled, relieved to hear Kind call him a dummy. He had always called him that whenever he was nervous and right now, looking at him so close, there was no hiding that he wasn't. Wale was tempted to swoop him up, take him to his room and make love to him until he'd begged him to stop like the last four days. Or maybe he will tonight. Todo had given Kind a week of rest and they still had two more days left together though, he doubted if Kind had rested well after all the lovemaking they had been doing.
There was no way he'd make a promise as to let anyone else into his thoughts to discover his fears...his true self. That privilege had always been Kind's and even though he knew he had no intention to agree with Kind on that, Wale wasn't going to back down.
Kind was his. He could care less what others thought of him.
"Todo sent over some gifts two days ago and I'm tempted to try them out."
Did todo gift Wale? How? Todo was a gentleman however to gift Wale, who'd often teased him was something he'd thought he wouldn't see in this lifetime.
"This I'd like to see. I'm curious to know what it is."
"I haven't unwrapped them yet. I put them in my room since they are a lot of them so you can wait here or wait in another room and I'll unpack them one by one before bringing them here...though it will take some time."
"Oh no, I'm too curious to wait. Besides, I'm suspicious he probably meant to send me and you assumed whatever he sent was yours. Could file for work since you haven't unwrapped them...or they could also be gifts for Kai. He did buy a lot after all and we couldn't bring them all here."
"You may be right K," Wale said, forming a smile on his face. "Maybe they are not meant for me after all."
"Finally you smile, about time you did too!"
"That's because I have a reason." Wale briefly kissed Kind before adding, "let's go check them out."