I didn't mind Kind being liked by his uncle Frank, I didn't mind when his parents liked me. I often felt jealous when they would make him happy more than I could...I was okay with it but then, when we joined the same high school, I started noticing how much everyone flocked around him.
It irritated me and I wanted to take him away from them but I couldn't speak up. Kind had a way of drawing people to him. Who was I to come in the way of him making friends? I tried my best to keep my distance but he always wanted to introduce me to his friends and I hated it. Didn't he know me well enough to realize I only wanted one friend, and that was him?
I believe it was then that it all began...this urge to possess him.
I was constantly feeling apprehensive about our friendship. He was making a lot of friends fast and he was going to forget about me. To my surprise, his friends started becoming my friends too and soon enough, I was becoming more and more comfortable with strangers around me. If Kind trusted them, then it meant it was okay to be around them.
I became more and more social as Kind grew more and more popular making me even more insecure. He Kind of started avoiding me so I wanted to teach him a lesson that he can't live without me. I dated a lot of girls to get his attention but failed miserably. He avoided me even more than before.
I hated it.
By the time we were joining college, I had broken more hearts than I could count however, I learned one lesson. While dating, I often wondered where Kind was and if he'd gotten a new friend....had he replaced me with someone else? My thoughts were constantly filled with him and I just wanted to make sure he was okay...that he wasn't far from me...I wanted him to need me as much as I needed him.
Therefore, I told Frank to investigate him and Kind was quick enough to pick on my mischief. Frank had probably scolded him to stop avoiding me and Kind had been furious, lashing at me to stay away from him. We reconciled after I promised to never spy on him and I kept my word to date...but he didn't.
I decided to keep watch on him myself, doing the same major in college as him, and taking the same classes. There was no way he'd avoid me!
How was I mistaken?
Kind became even more popular in college however, this time, I chose to handle things differently. Whoever wanted to be his friend would have to pass through me first. My obsession with Kind broke three of my relationships in our first and second semesters in college. How could they understand my obsession with Kind? He was my best friend, the person I trusted the most...the only person that had pulled me out of the darkness. Kind had been the only person that made me want to live....to experience life and I vowed to protect him...to make him happy such that when Cherry had publicly confessed to him, I had thought this was my chance. After all, he hadn't dated anyone yet.
Looking back now, it had been a huge mistake on my side to have pushed him to someone else when he'd already been mine. How could I have been blind all those years to not realize his feelings for me? I often got upset whenever he would start spending a lot of time with other guys than me...I hated it a lot whenever he'd make new friends! Heck! I wanted to keep him to myself but Kind kept attracting more and more people around him.
Many times I'd been tempted to confront him about who he was dating but he insisted that I respect his private life. I didn't want to see him upset at me again and my attempts to request for a double date often ended with a warning glare.....
I'd do anything Kind would ask me to. I'd respect his privacy, I'd not talk to him at work if he didn't want to talk to me, and I'd keep dating Cherry if he asked me to, heck! I'd live my life right by him! I just wanted him to stop ignoring me and pay more attention to me!
I wanted to be needed by him just as much as I needed him.
Soon enough I accepted that Kind would always be liked by other people, after all, he couldn't help it. However, I was going to be the one who will like him the most and on that night when his friends called me to pick him up, I was upset he'd only need me on such occasions. When he confessed his feelings in his drunken state, I realized he and I were never going to part.
I suddenly felt like I finally had the upper hand.
Whenever Kind would open his eyes, I was already looking at him and I often wondered when he'd tell me about his feelings. I was afraid if he knew of my knowledge of it, he'd probably run away again. I had to make him promise he'd never run away from me and if he did, I'd look for him whether it made him upset or not.
I had thought Kind a big fool to agree to my irreversible terms, little did I know it had taken Swalha and Cherry to make me realize what was right in front of me.
I had always been the one wrapped around his finger.
It hurt me to date that Kind never noticed my absence for two weeks yet I'd immediately notice his absence in seconds...but luckily, Todo had been complaisant with Kind and had he known the extent of my obsession, he'd never have agreed to bring Kind to me.
After becoming more self-aware of my feelings, my hunger for Kind only grew and as he tested me foolishly with his naked body, I wanted to punish him severely for keeping his feelings hidden all these years. Why was he always pushing me towards Cherry when he could have taken me all to himself? Why was he insisting I marry her yet he loved me?
I was done pretending!
As he moaned beneath me, I remember the night he'd been drugged...touching him, caressing him wondering if I was attracted to him sexually and when my body responded, it scared me that I may have already loved Kind long before I realized. But the next day he was nowhere to be found. I awoke to an empty house alone...I needed to think...I had to think of a way to break Kind and Todo apart!
Kind belonged to me!
The more we made love, the more selfish I became and when Kind disappeared, my world disappeared with him too. I was back in the darkness, the only thought keeping me alive was to see him again. Any doubts about my feelings for him disappeared when he was found. It was then that I resolved that no matter what, Kind was always going to come first and despite my longing to start a family, he'd considered me his family before I knew it. Therefore as much as it hurt me, I do not regret choosing him over anyone else.
I was going to be a terrible father to Kai without Kind in my life...I might as well give her up to Cherry's parents, who were good people and her biological family.
"Bunny, it's me." I don't know why I felt the need to introduce myself all of a sudden...I was feeling anxious.
"Of course, it's you I have your number dummy."
I always liked it whenever he'd call me that, I could tell he missed me...or my call made him nervous. Maybe he missed me as much as I missed him.
"When are you coming back? I miss you...I want to see you badly...I kept my word and haven't cummed since you left..."
"Eh! ....Stop! What the heck is wrong with you? I thought you called me for something serious! I'm working right now!"
He was whispering from the other end of the line, but I could tell he wanted to yell at me. I never meant to tease him, but I was serious and his reactions were only making me long for him even more.
"I'm serious Bunny...It's been five days already and you promised to be away for two days only. At this point, I'm going to burst...."
"Couldn't you have just texted me about this?"
"You haven't been replying to my texts for the past five days and seven hours since you left..."
"What's with the counting you dummy? I was never serious about that so do whatever you want I don't care...and stop calling me unless it concerns Kai..."
"She is sleeping at the moment and the nanny took over from me. I'm in our room right now wearing the bunny ears...and the tail too...the pink stockings look good on me as well...I wore the bunny costume you chose..."
"I'm hanging up now..."
"Wait, please! Don't hang up yet..." I wanted to keep him on the line longer. Listening to his breath on the other end was just turning me on. It was his fault. He'd been the one who'd told me to dress up and wait for him and like an obedient lover, I kept waiting for him but he wasn't coming. Does he realize how hard it was for me to not masturbate to the dirty images of him that constantly played in my head?
"I...I made my decision about baby Kai." I hesitated, afraid that he'd hate me for it.
"I'll give her up."
"What are you talking about you fool? You want to give her to Cherry! Didn't she run away? How stupid can you be Wale! Seriously what is wrong with you?"
I guess he forgot he was at work from the way he was yelling at me over the phone. There was no way he'd continue whispering after what I had told him however, I couldn't take back my words. I just wanted Kind next to me, with me, dating me...I wanted him to marry me and if that meant I'd never have children of my own, then so be it. No matter what, baby Kai will always be a part of my life, even if it meant I was not going to be her father.
"Wale...are you...crying..."
After he asked me that is when I realized my falling tears, the burning choking sensation in my throat...it had become hard to breathe and the more I restrained myself from pouring out, the more it became harder to control myself.
The depth of sadness, the fear of living without Kind, the longing, the waiting...the uncertainty...
I was at my peak.
"Wale..."
He called out my name a couple of times...I wanted to assure him I was fine as I always did but I choked from the need to call out to him and tell him to come yet, if I were to do that, I doubt I'd form a sentence. I had to restrain myself.
"I'm coming...wait for me, Wale."
"Don't hang up..." That was what I meant to say but he obviously couldn't understand what came out of my muffled speech.
"What? Wale...I'm leaving right now...."
"...K..." I wanted him to stay on the line, but I struggled to speak the words out. When I'd have nightmares whenever I stayed alone in the hotel I grew up in as a child, I often called Kind and he'd stay on the line until I fell asleep. Sometimes, he'd call Frank who would immediately bring him over for a few days to stay with me. Thinking back now, Kind's parents had never once seen me as a burden whenever I'd Hoag Kind from them as opposed to my relatives. They always treated me as their son.
"Stay on the line, don't hang up Wale...Todo has taken the wheel to your place...in a few minutes we'll be there..."
This was the first time I'd ever shed tears and had someone listen in on it. I was in despair...I just wanted to hear Kind's voice...somehow it calmed me down as it always did that even though he didn't utter a word afterwards, knowing that he was on his way presented me with the hope that I might convince him to date me again and if he still refused, I'll do anything to keep him close to me no matter the cost.
My phone still pressing my ear, a reflection of myself stared back at me and I laughed at how ridiculous I looked. Kind had told me to dress up as a bunny every night until his return after two days. I obediently followed through despite now being five days since I last saw him.
"...why are you not here yet...K?"
"I am...open the door..."
"It's open"