Aki and I stood together near the entrance to the cafe where were meeting my parents for breakfast. It would be the first time I saw them face to face in over three years, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to recognize them, or they wouldn't be able to recognize me. Aki and I had dressed to compliment each other, in his usual black and red colour palate. We were in an onsen village after all, and I took the opportunity to dress in a plain black yukata with a small red arrow pattern, red underclothes and obi. I had braided my hair and left it hanging over my shoulder with a small red flower hairpin. Aki wore billowy hakama style pants that reminded me of the traditional clothing the Yakuza wore, but he had somehow balanced it with a long sleeved light shirt under a plain haori jacket and managed to look neither like a gangster nor a rockstar.
Without moving much, Aki leaned his weight slightly toward me and whispered, "You look beautiful." I didn't look at him, but I smiled to myself.
The motion of someone waving from the distance caught my attention, drawing my eyes toward a man and a woman excitedly walking toward us as fast as they could wearing yukata and tabi sandals. I recognized my parents immediately, though they somehow looked a lot older than I remembered them. They closed the distanced quickly, and my mother gathered me in a hug, swaying from side to side. When she was finished my father did the same, laughing and crying at the same time.
My mother acknowledge Aki first, bowing to him, and he matched her bow. "You must be Hasegawa-san." She said to him. "Thank you for taking care of my daughter."
"Your daughter takes care of herself. I just keep her company." Aki said. My mother smiled, but covered her mouth with her hand shyly. Aki reached a hand toward my father, bowing to him while they shook hands. "Pleased to meet you, Sugimori-san, I am Hasegawa Akira."
While I watched the initial introductions between my parents and Aki, I could only see happiness between them. Aki took charge of the situation like he always did, making an impression that would last, easily making people like him. He was a performer, after all, and he always knew exactly how to act in every situation.
"Natsuko mentioned that you have tattoos, and being here might be difficult for you." My father decided to begin the conversation as we sat down together in the cafe. He was acting interested to learn about Aki, not casting judgement. "Just what kind of tattoos are we talking about?"
Aki looked around to make sure there were no passersby and lifted one sleeve just enough to expose the tattoo around one wrist. He was met with my father's surprised expression. He turned his head to the side and used one finger to pull back the collar of his haori to show how the petals of the chrysanthemum flowers on his shoulders crept up onto his neck as well. "I have to stay covered here." He said. "Thank you very much for providing us with a private bath in our room."
My father waved his hand in dismissal of Aki's comment. "Now just to be clear, none of those tattoos are gang related, are they?" He leaned forward on the table toward Aki to make sure no one else in the room heard.
Aki smiled, amused by the accusation. "No sir. I'm just a young frontman of a successful band. I don't drink or partake in any substances, tattoos are my only form of rebellion."
The conversation remained mostly between Aki and my father getting to know each other, my mother listening in with a smile on her face. They both received Aki much better than I had expected them to, considering he was my first boyfriend, I was still a teenager, he was older, and a musician for a living. They came with no judgement or preconceived notions about who Aki was, and they were completely open to listen to his story and get to know him.
"Let's go walking in some shrines today." My mother changed the subject. "It would be wonderful to spend the day with you both and catch up. We have to travel in to Tokyo tomorrow to get ready to renew our visas on Monday and then back overseas."
Shrines in Kyoto littered the streets. There was no shortage of them to see, even if they were only small ones tucked in between large new buildings. The streets themselves surrounding the onsen town was old fashioned, with clay tile roofs on the houses, wooden front gates with stone walls, and misshapen trees that were over a hundred years old. We simply walked and looked at the scenery, my mother and I side by side in front, Aki and my father side by side behind us.
We took a turn into a small shrine where a large tori gate stood at the sidewalk, signalling the entrance. It was bright red lacquered wood and looked like it was well maintained. My mother and I patted the wood as we walked in, and I looked back over my shoulder to see Aki and my father do the same. Aki caught my smile and smiled back to me without breaking the conversation with my father.
My mother whispered to me as we walked the path to the Kamidana, where the God of the shrine was kept in a small stone house. "Aki is quite the catch." She said, nudging my arm. "When you called me on the phone the very first time you told me about him, I looked him up."
I laughed slightly. "I knew you would."
"I couldn't believe what you were telling me!" She was barely able to keep her voice down, whispering to me like we were teenagers. "His pictures were so handsome, I wasn't expecting him to look just as handsome in real life."
I tried to look serious. "So you like him? You can feel confident going back overseas that you don't have to worry about me, and you know he's taking care of me?"
She nodded quickly, smiling. "I like him. I was more worried about you being all alone over here, and I'm very happy you found someone like him. I was worried that you would trust the wrong sorts of people without our guidance."
"That's good, because I'm marrying him when I graduate university." I held out my hand to her to show her the ring that Aki had given me.
She gasped audibly as she grasped my hand for a moment to look at the ring, then began to laugh as she wrapped me in a tight hug. She held my shoulders and looked sternly at my face. I could tell she was trying to put on a serious expression, but she was happy underneath it. "After you graduate, you said?"
I nodded. "Aki said specifically after I graduate when he asked me, because he wants me to focus on studying."
"Natsuko, I'm proud of you. Your future is set. You have a good man, and your studies will put you in a job that will bring you both closer." She wrapped me up in a tight hug again. "Hasegawa-san!" She shouted into my ear before she let me go, running toward Aki to embrace him as well. Both he and my father wore confused expressions on their faces. As she let him go, she bowed to him. "Hasegawa Akira-san, you have my blessing."
Both Aki and my father looked at me a few paces ahead of them still on the path. "I told her." I said with a smile.
My mother rose from her bow, reaching to place a hand on my father's shoulder. "Natsuko told me her and Hasegawa-san plan to get married once she graduates university."
He turned to Aki and bowed the same way my mother had. "Congratulations." He said, sounding formal. "You have my blessing as well." When he rose from his bow, he ran to me to scoop me up in his arms, and with my feet hovering off the ground, he spun around. I remembered him doing that when I was little, but at nineteen, I was nearly as tall as him. "Is he taking care of you well?" He said into my ear.
"We take care of each other, dad. Don't be so old fashioned."
Despite our best efforts, the four of us made small talk of wedding plans as we continued to walk, even though Aki had told me not to even think about it until after graduation. My mother was too excited not to ask me what I wanted to wear, if I wanted to get married at a shrine, and what season we would have the wedding in. I was content just to have told them, and see their happiness that I made good decisions in my life that were paying off.
When we returned to the room, I took a moment to stand in front of the window covering the back wall, looking onto the onsen town. The lanterns had all been illuminated for the evening lining the streets and the shopfronts. I could see Aki's reflection in the glass as he moved slowly behind me, hanging up his haori jacket and taking his shirt off.
I looked over my shoulder to him. "Hasegawa-san, will you help me get undressed?" I used his last name to mimic the way my parents had addressed him all day. Though I was only wearing a simply yukata, the obi ties were complicated, and it was an excuse to invite him into a close moment with me.
"Of course, Sugimori-san." He crossed the room to me and kissed the side of my neck gently, breathing in my scent as he did.
His hands worked slowly untying the obi at my back, as if he was savouring the time he had been given. "Aki, I'm sorry you have to be so careful here. I only realized today how hard you were trying to hide, and it was strange to me to see you like that." I met his gaze in the reflection of the window, and he looked contemplative. "You're normally so confident."
He smiled, but looked away, back down to the obi to see what he was doing. "I knew what I was getting into when I got all these tattoos." He said passively. "I'll have to live with it for the rest of my life as well, might as well get used to it."
He began to reach around me to unwind the obi, folding it neatly as he went. He didn't say anything more, but guided me away from the window, pulling me against his body, and placed my back against the wall. He held my waist firmly with one hand, the other crept up to hold my jaw, and he looked between my eyes for a moment before slowly, but hungrily, kissing my lips.
"It was torture not being able to even hold your hand in public today." His body pressed closer to me as he untied the inner sashes holding my yukata closed. My palms had been pressed against the wall, but he took my hands and guided them to his shoulders. I gripped him tightly as he slid his fingertips along my skin under the yukata. His face was serious, his body was heavy against me, and it was a side of him I hadn't seen before.
"Hold on." He said, his voice was deep and low, reserved for me only even though we were alone. He leaned down just slightly to wrap his hands around my thighs and he picked me up, forcing my knees to bend as my feet lifted off the floor. I held his shoulders as he walked the few paces to the bed to lay me down, and he lifted on leg to hook the back of my knee atop his shoulder. His face was serious, and I could feel his eyes on my body, taking me in. It was unlike him to be so serious in the situation, and I watched his face for cues, but he gave me none. I went along with what he wanted, let him guide me. Though he made me feel nervous like I had never experienced him before, in every touch and kiss I could feel the familiarity of Aki.
I was shaking, trying to catch my breath, my body felt light. Aki held me against him, and I could feel the deep rise and fall of his chest as he tried to catch his breath as well. His skin was slightly damp with sweat, and his scent slowed my heart as I breathed him in. "It felt like you were nervous." He said softly.
I looked up against him to see his face. His eyes were closed, the side of his face resting on the pillow. One hand cradled my head. "I've never seen you like that."
He laughed one syllable with his breath, smiling without opening his eyes. "I didn't mean to scare you. That's what desperation does to me I guess." He opened his eyes suddenly as if a realization came to him, and he looked down to my face still tucked under his chin. "Are you okay? Did I get too carried away?"
I smiled to myself and pressed my forehead to his chest. "I'm really good."
"You're shaking." As if he didn't believe me.
"You did get carried away." I said. "But I enjoyed it. You only made me nervous because I felt like I was in bed with Aki from Guardian, not Aki my boyfriend." I pressed my forehead harder into his chest with embarrassment that I was admitting how I felt.
Aki laughed, but I knew he wasn't laughing at my sentiment, just at the impossibility of the situation I was describing. "You are in bed with Aki from Guardian. He also just happens to be your boyfriend."