I had never been to Kyoto. Before Aki had taken me to Tokyo for the weekend, I had never left Kamakura. Aki as part of my life had opened my world exactly the way I had always dreamed of, and I was experiencing all the things I wished for. I wondered what I had done in my life to deserve it all, or if working hard in school had just paid off for me. Aki and I had met by accident, that couldn't be denied, but at the same time, if a chance meeting in a shrine governed by Gods was supposed to happen, it wasn't an accident at all.
As soon as the Shinkansen began to depart the station, Aki stretched his arms over his head and arched his back against his chair. He slumped down out of his stretch and looked at me as if waiting to make sure I was paying attention. "So." He began. He sounded as if he had something to tell me that he was afraid of. "The label wants us to test out a second guitarist for live shows. We're going to start rehearsing soon for a small Tokyo tour."
I sat up straighter in my chair, excited to hear the news. "That's exciting! I can't wait to see the rehearsals! I hope I can travel with you at least a little bit in between school."
He nodded, looking down for a moment. "The second guitarist is a girl."
Somehow, I was disheartened, but I couldn't pinpoint the exact reason why. "She's touring with you?"
"We're going to rehearse with her first to see how she works out. It's just to appease the label, really. We've toured just the four of us for ten years and we've done just fine, we've never needed a second guitar live." Aki explained quickly, but I could see he was just as disheartened about the news as I was.
"What does Kota think about it?"
Aki laughed to himself, seeming to recall something. "He was mad. He feels like he's being replaced, acting like a child. I bet he'll end up trying to sleep with her though, in the end."
I folded my arms across my chest and acted angry. "What if she tries to sleep with you?" Although I was exaggerating, I wasn't fully asking just out of jest.
Aki could tell. "Natsu, you know that would never happen." He said softly. He looked at me with seriousness on his face. "You do know that, right?"
I nodded slowly as he put his arm around my shoulders. I felt instantly safe in his hold. "I know, and I trust you, but a lot of people have been trying really hard to make me believe strange things about you. It's kind of confusing, if I'm honest." I sighed deeply and relaxed against him. He lifted the armrest between our seats, swinging it upward, so he could pull me closer.
"Let them talk." He said. "The only person you should believe is me. I told you before, you can ask me anything, talk to me about anything. I'll always tell you the truth."
"Can I meet her?"
"Of course you can!" Aki answered me like it was the most obvious statement. "I'll introduce you to her myself. We haven't even met her yet, so we can all meet her for the first time together."
I thought for a moment. "Aki, no one was mad when I came to sing with you."
He nodded, understanding my question before I even knew the right way to ask it. "I invited you to sing with me. You weren't stepping on anyone's toes. This is a girl we don't even know being forced on us, accusing Kota of not being powerful enough on stage." His tone implied there was nothing more to talk about on the subject, but regardless, I was more at ease.
I wasn't sure when I had fallen asleep, but I woke to Aki's soft voice calling my name. I was in the same spot under his arm, fully relaxed against him. I lifted my head, looking around, and saw a can of coffee and two bento boxes in front of Aki on the fold down tray. "We're here." He said. "Don't worry, I didn't eat your bento. You can have it when we get to the room."
My parents had reserved the room in the onsen for us with a private bath since the place as a whole was not tattoo friendly. I had warned them in advance when they suggested meeting there that Aki had tattoos, however I left out the details about how many. I was sure my mom had done some research about Guardian and about Aki back when I had told her on the phone that I had been dating him, and he was famous. We talked so little, she had never mentioned if she saw recordings of us singing together or if she hadn't. We talked about university, but she was disinterested in knowing anything about my life in Tokyo with Aki outside of that.
Aki dropped his backpack at the door when we entered the room, and kicked his shoes off quickly. He walked a few paces in excitedly and opened his arms wide on either side of him. "This room is huge!" He turned back to me still lingering in the doorway. "Thank your parents for me."
"Thank them yourself, you'll meet them at breakfast in the morning." I said, removing my shoes and pulling my suitcase along behind me into the room.
It reminded me of the secret onsen Aki had taken me to in Tokyo, everything wood and green with warm low light. A large bed dressed in white was to the left, glass sliding doors covering the private bath was to the right, and straight ahead a large window opening the wall to overlook the onsen town. At the foot of the bed two yukata and haori overcoats were folded neatly for us to wear while travelling from building to building within the closed area of the onsen. Unfortunately for Aki, however, he wouldn't be permitted to wear them because the sleeves were just short enough that the tattoos on his arms would be seen. The February weather was beginning to warm, but not enough that Aki would be uncomfortable in winter clothes with long sleeves.
I watched Aki as he stripped himself of his shirt, tossing it onto the end of the bed, and preceded to inspect the coffee maker, the view out of the window, and peer through the glass doors where the bath was. Looking over him, the way he wore his tattoos, the definition of each muscle, I was proud to call him mine. As worried as I was about what my parents would say about him, every time I looked at him, I knew he was perfect for me.
He wrapped his arm around my back and cradled my head in his hand, stepping in close against me. Though he was swift in his motions, he was gentle, kissing me softly, as if giving me a chance to push him away if I wanted. I hooked my fingers in the belt loops at both sides of his jeans and pulled his hips closer against me, and he began to back me into the bed.
I loved the way he always smiled as he crawled over me, leaning down to kiss me through it, his fingertips exploring me. He made quiet moments between us light hearted, relaxing, and he made me feel protected, safe, and I could so easily melt into him. I supposed that was what it felt like to really love someone.
I didn't remember falling asleep, but I woke to the sound of a tea kettle coming to a boil, and the feeling of Aki's body carefully crawling over me. "I filled the bath and made tea, are you awake?" The sound of his voice made me open my eyes. I realized how well I was able to sleep in his presence, whether it was during the night or travelling. I couldn't remember ever being able to sleep so easily. Aki had provided me with safety, comfort, and every time I relaxed into his arms I was sure no harm would come to me.
"What time is it?"
I heard him chuckle, and his weight lifted from the bed. "It's 2am." He said. I lifted myself onto my elbows to observe him standing in the middle of the room between the bed and the bath, his tea cup in hand, in just his underwear. "I really should write a song called 2am." He leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom and slid the glass door open and away from himself with his arm outstretched. "Are you coming?"
Inside the bathroom, the tub was square, made of hinoki wood. The scent of the wood permeated the air when the steam filled the room, fogging the glass. The floor and walls were black textured stone, cool to the touch, perfect for putting your bare feet on when exiting a steamy onsen. I sat down on the opposite side of the tub from Aki, and he guided me to stretch my legs, and placed both of my feet atop each of his thighs. His hands began to massage my calves, and I leaned my head back against the side of the tub and closed my eyes.
"Why are you so awake?" I asked him. The warmth of the water and Aki's massage were almost too much comfort for me to handle.
"I'm really nervous about meeting your parents." He said. He didn't hesitate, there was no use hiding it. "Especially just the morning after I had you under me looking like that. That image will be in my head for days."
I lifted my head, opening my eyes to give him a look, but he was smiling at me with a sly expression. "What are you so nervous about?"
"I've been thinking about the questions they'll ask me. Trying to prepare how to answer them."
"What do you think they'll ask you?"
He smiled to himself, looking distant as if he was imaging the scenario. "They'll ask the typical 'what do you actually do for work' things, I'm sure. They'll ask me about the future. If the band fails do I have a backup plan." His eyes settled on me. "They'll probably ask if I want a family."
I felt suddenly more awake. "Do you?"
"Kids? No." He said, hooking his hands around my ankles to rest them. "Can you imagine trying to travel and tour with a band, work long hours, and try to raise a kid?" He was trying to read the reaction on my face as he spoke, I could tell. "What about you?"
"What if I said I wanted kids?" Truthfully I wasn't sure how I felt. I had never considered having a family before, I had never even considered what it would have been like to have a boyfriend.
He leaned his back against the tub, tilting his head. "I'd say I should have asked you that before I asked you to marry me." His face was worried. "But on second thought, I love you too much, so if you wanted a kid or two I could provide."
I smiled at his expression. "I never thought about wanting kids or a family. It was never a dream I had, or something I particularly wanted for myself." I said. "As long as I have you, I'm happy."
He got up on his hands and knees in the water, leaning close to kiss me. "You have me."