Later into the night after the five of us had shared a meal together, Aki and I stole away on the train into the town. Aki told them it was because Christmas in Japan was a holiday for couples, so we should do a couples activity just the two of us, however I knew he just wanted time alone with me that wasn't in his bedroom. It had started to snow gently as we got off the train just one stop away from the house, and I was glad I had worn my knitted hat and matching mittens. Beside Aki, I felt like I belonged there, a Tokyo girl with her rockstar boyfriend seeing the sights in Kamakura for a holiday away from the busy city.
We stopped in a cafe to get hot drinks to walk with, and I took advantage of the wait inside to warm up and prepare for more snow. I took the opportunity to watch Aki every chance I got when I knew he wasn't aware. We stood together waiting at the counter for our coffee order to be made, and he held my hand tightly even though I didn't remove my mittens. I watched his expression turn tranquil as he looked over the counter absently. He wasn't concerned in Kamakura if anyone recognized him, especially at night when he could hide in the shadows, and he let his guard down completely.
We walked slowly down the main street, even though the shops were closed. The lights decorating the trees and storefronts offered enough entertainment as we strolled, the air still, the snow falling gently.
"The song you wrote for me was really amazing." Aki began. I knew he had wanted to talk about it. "I had no idea you were working on it."
"Thank you. I was working on it for a while. I only just started to learn how to write and read music, so I had to really try hard to make it right."
"It was really nice." He said, nodding as if he was replaying the melody in his head. "It wasn't complicated but it was beautiful."
"I tried to write the lyrics in a way that only you would really understand. To anyone else it would sound generic."
He nodded, showing that he had understood my intention. "And I noticed that when you sang it, the pitch wasn't quite right for you." He was fishing for confirmation, more asking than making a comment.
"I wrote it for your voice."
"I thought so." He smiled to himself. "You are really talented at composition. Even if you had to work hard at it this time, it will get easier each time."
I looked up into the snow falling from the sky. "Kind of like being naked around you." I smiled to myself without looking at him, and he tossed an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close against his side. I was happy for the extra warmth being against his body provided.
He put his mouth close to my ear before he spoke. "Now I've seen your soul naked as well."
We returned to the house shortly after midnight. The lights were off in the windows as we approached, and Aki entered first, taking a look side to side to see if anyone was left lingering. I kicked off my shoes, removed my hat and mittens and tucked them into the pockets of my coat as I opened the hall closet to hang it. Aki reached out to grab the collar of my coat before I could even unzip it, and pulled me to kiss him. He had already shrugged off his coat, and it lay in a pile in the hallway. He pulled me in to the sort of kiss that he used to breathe me in, liked he was hungry and I was his prey. Though it felt desperate, Aki was always intentional in his movements, leaving no empty space. He unzipped my coat, peeling it back off my shoulders, letting it fall away from my body to join his on the floor. His hand was firm on my back, his other holding my face so he could continue to kiss me while he backed me down the hallway into the bedroom.
We landed on the bed, Aki on his hands and knees over me, and he stopped to look at my face as I took the opportunity to skim my fingertips across his skin under the hem of his shirt as it hung away from his body. "I actually have a gift for you." He said. I felt his body shudder under my light touch as if I had tickled him. "The ring wasn't it."
"Aki, you spoil me."
"I'm a famous rockstar." He said, leaning down to kiss me quickly. "What kind of boyfriend would I make if I didn't?"
He slinked out of my field of vision and I propped myself up on my elbows to watch what he was doing. He was modest about his position as a rockstar, and he stuck to his claims about being a regular guy often. It caught my attention when he so casually threw the word out. He slid the closet door open and leaned into it for a moment, reappearing with a wrapped gift in his hand. I sat up as he approached the bed again, sitting beside me and handing me the box. I carefully opened the wrapping, revealing a sleek black box with rose gold embossed lettering. "Issey Miyake?" I read, running my fingers over the letters. I lifted the lid of the box and unfolded a few layers of tissue paper. Inside was a modest sized handbag, a dark black leather, with a small rose gold logo. The top of the bag was a gather and drawstring closure, and the ends of the drawstrings were detailed with a leather fringe. I couldn't believe what I was holding. For a moment, I couldn't even believe where I was sitting, and who I was sitting beside. I had never been the type of girl to define wealth or happiness with expensive items, and basic things were just fine for me. There had never been anyone in my life before Aki who care to spoil me with the best things, and I had wondered what it must have felt like.
"What do you think?" I hear Aki ask from beside me, and I realized I hadn't looked up from the bag at all.
"Just when life with you was starting to feel believable, you ask me to marry you and give me a designer handbag."
He laughed, grabbing my thigh and squeezing gently. "It's all real, Natsu." I stole a glance at him to see he was looking down, his smile shy. It was a look I hardly saw on him. He was always confident about everything he did. "I think you forget that it's like that for me too. You have brought a lot of happiness to my life."
The evening of New Year's eve, December 31, was my birthday. We set out to the shrine as soon as dusk had settled, wading through the crowds to celebrate exactly when midnight struck for Hatsumode - the first shrine visit of the new year. Exactly as it should have been, myself and Guardian together as a family, my present and my future wrapped into one, my lover and my handful of big brothers by my side. I walked with one hand in Aki's, one hand in Kota's, my heart full and my mind at peace. We would be on the road back to Tokyo in the early morning, and for that moment I took in the scenery around me, of the place where Aki and I first met completely by accident, and I thought there was no better place to begin a new year together.
Aki suddenly let go of my hand to wrap his arm around me, pulling me close against his side. I gripped the back of his coat, still holding Kota's hand as well. Aki reached for my chin, guiding me and leaning his head down to kiss me. "Happy birthday."
"Aki! In front of all these people?" I laughed though he had surprised me with the gesture in such a public place.
His grip on my chin remained, and he kissed me again with a smile. "No one is paying any attention." I looked around at the crowd surrounding us, and everyone was busy with the people they were with, with thier phones. No one was looking at us. It was a rare gift to be lost in a crowd with the way my life had turned out. "How does it feel to be nineteen? I barely remember being nineteen."
"It feels pretty great." I said simply. I didn't have anything else to say. Aki had celebrated his twenty sixth birthday only a month before, and while I didn't notice our difference in age often, when I stopped to think about it, I was thankful. I was able to ease into my new life with him and Guardian more easily, being guided by someone I fully trusted who had experienced it all before and knew the steps.
When we made it to the shrine through the crowd, Aki and I stood side by side at the shrine, clapping our hands together and dropping coins into the slatted box as offerings. We both took a dangling rope and shook it, causing the bells at the top to clang to awaken the spirits in the shrine. As we stood together with our hands in prayer, our eyes closed, I wondered what Aki was praying for. I stole a glance out of one eye to see him bowed slightly, his fingertips in prayer touching his forehead. Whatever he was praying for, he was serious about it. I closed my eyes again and asked for the wealth and health of Guardian, and to continue to stay by Aki's side. That was all I could ask for in my life. That was all I wanted.