Chereads / The Bartender at the End of the Universe / Chapter 8 - Ch 7: Sprucing things up

Chapter 8 - Ch 7: Sprucing things up

"How's the back?"

Ted stopped stirring the pot for a moment as he focused on the wound. It still hurt. A lot. Like the kind of papercut you can only get from thick cardboard. "It's doing alright I'd say," he lied.

Sentenza had a lit cigarillo in his mouth as he leaned against the kitchen's door frame. If he doubted Ted, he didn't make any indication of it, and instead changed the subject. "So, you say this stuff should be closer to an actual beer, huh?"

Ted looked down at the mess of pine needles spinning around. "Yeah, we really lucked out with that forest. Thanks to that lemon you found, I had literally everything I needed for this."

Ted let out a frustrated sigh as Sentenza chuckled.

"I know, I know."

"Hey now, I didn't say anything."

"You didn't have to."

Sentenza chuckled again. "Not like we had a time machine and you sent Trizel to plant a bunch of stuff outside."

Ted hung his head. "Yeah, not my brightest moment. But now we've got peppers, lemons, and ginger. So Sid's concern over our health is gone."

"Now it's just if we can keep up our supplies that we can't grow. Like sugar and flour."

"Right. Yeah, despite how skinny she is, Bakade, does laps around Trizel when it comes to how much food she eats."

"Her? Bakade? You're telling me that thing is a girl?"

Ted looked over at Sentenza. "Hmm? Yeah, that's what she said."

Sentenza looked back over his shoulder where the monster they had encountered in the pine forest was devouring her third serving bowl of peppers and dough balls. She was eating like the first real meal of someone who had been starving at sea for months. He slowly turned his head back and shrugged. "Well, I suppose table manners aren't what makes someone a woman or not."

The cuts had been bandaged, but Ted's back was feeling especially warm. He figured the best thing to do was to distract himself. So, he started to talk about what he was making. "Anyway, this is spruce beer, or I guess pine beer since the trees aren't producing spruce tips just yet."

"What's the difference?"

"Not too much. Using older spruce needles gives it more of a piney flavor, which is what I did. But, without any hops, this will probably be the closest we can get to an actual beer sort of flavor. Because the pine will work similar to how the hops do."

"But we don't have any real grain for beer, right?"\

"Right, so it's still using a brown sugar base, but I went a little heavy on the spruce. Trust me, it'll surprise you."

"Alright, so why the lemons?"

"The acidity helps cut through the harshness a bit and round out the flavor more. At least it is supposed to. Besides, we need the vitamin c."

Sentenza nodded. "Alright, why don't you just go through this recipe quickly, and then I'll be all caught up."

As Sentenza spoke, a timer went off and Ted turned off the stove's burner. Ted nodded and explained, "This one can use a bit more sugar than the regular two cups per gallon, but even just that will be fine. On top of that it needs about six ounces of spruce trimmings, and a lemon per gallon. You throw everything together in a pot and bring it to a boil for thirty minutes. Of course, you cut the lemon in half first, then squeeze the juice into the pot before tossing the rest of it in as well It's supposed to cool down in something like an ice bath, but I'm just taking it off the heat and letting it cool down on its own."

Ted let out a sigh as he stirred the brew. "That'll be much slower, but it'll still work, and I just need to keep stirring it now and then. So once it's cool and I put it in the container it'll ferment in and add the yeast. Either shake it around a bit to aerate, or stir it vigorously, and then let it sit. Now there's a lot of complicated measurements and equations to test its gravity and how much yeast it actually needs, but I just put in two teaspoons per gallon, and it has worked out so far. Now, unlike some of the mistakes I made with the others, we don't really want this to go flat. So, I need to be a bit more precise with the time it spends aging. We want the bubbles to slow, but not be stopped completely. Which should be around two to three weeks, but in the machine, we won't be able to tell until it's taken out. Then we just siphon it out to try and leave the dead yeast behind and store it someplace cool, and it'll be best in three to four weeks. You could drink it before then, but especially right away, it'll for sure be flat."

"Well, well innkeeper Ted, you really do know a lot about this stuff, huh?"

Ted blushed from embarrassment and stammered, "I mean...it's not...I just...my uncle you see...kinda stuck with it...I don't know..."

Sentenza's hand immediately fell to his gun as three serving bowls appeared on the counter with a note. He had not seen anything approach until the bowls were already there and being surprised like that made him jumpy. "Dang mo...Bakade," he murmured. "Can't stand how if I'm not paying attention to her, she can sneak around me so easily."

Ted reached over and grabbed the note. It said, "If it's not too much trouble, could I please have some more?"

"I tell you, she's a bottomless hole." sighed Sentenza. "We'll be out of all food if she has her way."

Ted leaned back and looked out into the main room. Bakade was no longer at the table. He stepped back further and finally saw her. She was sitting with her arms hugging her legs in a solitary, dark corner of the room. Far away from everything else. The blue flame in her eyes having faded away, leaving her nearly invisible if it wasn't for her massive antlers.

He leaned back in and shrugged. "We'll worry about that when we come to that bridge."

Sentenza finished off the last bit of his cigarillo and flicked the butt out of the window. "Well, you're the boss of this Inn. So, I'll follow your lead. Just figured I'd air my concerns with you." With that, he turned around and walked all the way out of the building.

As the door slammed shut, Ted thought about Bakade. What was it that felt so familiar about her? It was like he was so close to grasping it, but it managed to slip away each time he just about had it. It was frustrating. Ted finally decided that it wasn't worth it to dwell on right now. Nothing would change. Instead, he walked out into the main room and up to Bakade. She didn't seem to notice him, and if he didn't know otherwise, he would've assumed she was dead. She was completely still, and he couldn't even see her breathing at all.

"Bakade."

As Ted spoke, the blue fire returned to her moose skull's dark eye sockets. Slowly her neck creaked down to look at Ted face to face.

After clearing his throat, he said, "So, I was thinking. It can take a while to cook things up. Maybe you'd like to come help out. It shouldn't seem as long that way, and you can snack on some of the ingredients as we go along. What do you think?"

There was a moment of stillness in the silence as nothing happened. Ted waited an answer while Bakade just sat there staring at him. Then a slow, slightly shaky nod of her head showed her agreement. Ted smiled and waved for her to follow him.

"Alright then, come on. I don't know if we have an apron that'll make much of a difference on you, but we can try."

Her lanky form stretched up to its full height as she followed just behind Ted. As Ted grabbed an apron from the kitchen, he saw Bakade walk straight in. For a moment he questioned how she could easily stand in each room, and how she didn't seem to have any trouble with the doorways. But he dismissed it as probably something to do with her being magic. He handed her the apron and tried not to chuckle as she tried to wrap it around herself. She was both far too tall, and far too skinny. It ended up looking more like a miniskirt than anything useful as it wrapped completely around her. She had to take the straps and wrap them around three times before she could really tie them. After she had finished putting it on, she looked at Ted expectantly.

"Oh, right!" Ted said as he scrambled around and got out a couple large pans. He coated one with a thin layer of oil, and the other with about an inch. As he walked over to the freezer he asked, "Now, would you rather fry or sauté?"

She didn't say anything, but as Ted looked back, he could see her pointing at the thick layer of oil.

"Alright then, you'll be on fry duty. I'll need you to wash your hands and then take these dough balls and spread them out on a few sheet pans." He handed her the giant bowl of frozen dough, and she got to work. First washing her clawed hands under the stream of warm water from the sink with plenty of soap. Then she got to work on transferring the dough. With her sharp claws, it went quickly, like picking up a small piece of meat with a toothpick.

Ted slid past her to wash his hands, and then pulled out several fresh peppers from the fridge. He started to chop and deseed them as the two of them worked around each other. The balls were set into the time machine, which let them warm up to room temperature as if they'd sat out for hours. As Bakade set the first ones into the oil, she jumped back as it began to hiss and spit slightly.

"Ah, be careful," laughed Ted. "The oil tends to try and bite back."

She put a bony finger up against her chin and tilted her head slightly.

"Ah, it's a turn of phrase. Not something literal. Just that the oil can sting like a small bite if it gets on you from how much it's jumping...or I mean, how it's bubbling and popping into the air?"

She paused a moment before slowly nodding, and Ted could swear he saw her smile. Even though her head was just a moose skull with blue flames in its eye sockets. Although, he decided to make sure she didn't hurt herself and handed Bakade a pair of tongs to turn the dough with.

The two of them spent hours cooking. With Bakade eating much of it as soon as it was done. It was fun, even though she did not say anything the entire time. Ted even got her to help him transfer the beer into another container with the yeast, and then siphoned into a third container for it to carbonate in. With the time machine humming in the background as they cooked through loads of dough and peppers.

"Curious. I was wondering where you were Ted. Although, I did not think you would be working on dinner so early."

Sid had appeared in the kitchen doorway, and when Ted turned to look at him, he noticed that Bakade had disappeared. He looked around for a moment but couldn't even find a trace of her.

"Is everything alright Ted? You appear confused."

"No, yeah, everything's fine." he murmured. "Bakabe had just been here with me, but now it seems she's gone."

"She?"

"Yeah, you know the new addition we found in the forest? She said her name was Bakabe and she was a girl."

"Curious."

"What is?"

"This Bakabe is not something I fully understand. Human, animal, dead, alive...She seems to go off of rules that make little sense to me."

"Like Trizel's magic?"

"That is different. He possesses no magic. Perhaps a somewhat illogical level of strength, but all the magic is merely talk he has. After all, he concludes many things are magic, such as myself or that machine's ability to speed up time."

"Well, it seems we all came from worlds with different sorts of rules. I doubt she'll be the last person here who defies what we'd think should be possible."

"Yes, perhaps I should work on my preconceived perceptions then. Thank you, Ted. You have given me much to think about." Sid nodded and turned to leave.

As he disappeared from the doorway, Ted saw something out of the corner of his eye. He turned and saw that it was Bakabe in a dark corner of the kitchen. Her eyes had lost their fire again and staring at her he felt it. The familiarity. He thought he finally made the connection to what she reminded him of.

"Hey Sid?" Ted called out.

"Yes?" was the robotic reply as the silver man reappeared in the doorway and Bakabe seemed to fade even more into the background.

"Can you gather the others? I've got a new beer I'd like them to try."

"Very well. Though I do not fully understand this ritual, I shall gather them and participate as well."

"Ask them to push two tables together this time too, okay?"

Sid nodded and left again.

Ted turned to where Bakabe had hidden. He had no idea how he made the connection, but he figured this was his best shot at knowing for sure.

"Bakabe?"

After a moment, her eyes sprung to life again, and she stared at Ted from behind her bony knees.

"You know, sometimes it's hard to break out from old habits," he rambled. "I know it was often really hard for me to even leave the house at times. Sometimes I wished I'd get an invite, even though I knew I'd probably turn it down. I think really, I wanted to be out there with people, but I had trouble letting myself make those attempts."

She silently stared at him and made no move or gave any indication what her thoughts were.

Ted rubbed the back of his neck, and then after a small whiff, hurried to keep the few dishes on the stove from burning. "A...anyway! I just wanted to officially invite you to try out this new beer with us. I think you'll have fun. But you don't have to go if you don't want to. I just wanted to give you the official option. Because really, all of us would be happy with you spending time with us. Whether we've made a point of asking or not."

Slowly, Bakabe's head tilted down, further into her knees as Ted figured he did what he could. His focus was turned to keeping the food from burning worse, and when he finally finished, he plated what was there, and left it in the kitchen.

Loneliness, that was what felt so familiar when he looked at her.