Chereads / The Bartender at the End of the Universe / Chapter 14 - Ch 13: Like Sands Through the Hourglass

Chapter 14 - Ch 13: Like Sands Through the Hourglass

"You're kidding."

"Cross my heart."

"Do what now?"

"Cross my heart?"

"Is that some kind of spell?"

Ted scratched his head. "No? It's just something people say when they really mean something. Like it means they are definitely telling the truth."

"Is it perhaps implying they are putting a target on their hearts that you could strike if they are not telling the truth?" suggested Trizel.

"I uh, I wish I could tell you. I just know that's what people say." shrugged Ted.

"Yes, but surely there is some deeper meaning. Phrases do not simply manifest themselves out of thin air." added Sid.

Sentenza chuckled as he watched the three of them talk in circles. Bakade was sitting next to Sentenza, and leaned closer to him as she whispered, "Yyooouuu knnnnoooowwww?"

Sentenza turned to her as her voice, cold as a winter breeze, slipped into his ear. "Nope." he said with a smile. "But as a kid we said it all the time too. 'Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.' As if the word of a child was good for much else than wishful thinking."

"Wiiisssshhess aand hhhooooope aaarrre immmppooorrtaaant." Bakade's voice groaned like the aching of trees in a heavy wind.

"You know," Sentenza said as he shifted in his seat to look more towards the tall, scrawny, girl with her moose skull head. "It always sounds like a real struggle for you to say much of anything. Is it, or am I just reading too much into what is essentially an accent?"

Bakade's jaw opened slowly before it closed. She seemed to really be thinking about it, but eventually nodded her head. "Yyyeeeessss. Iittt'sss Hhhaaaaaarrdd."

"Well, you've piqued my curiosity, and I've got all the time in the world now." He looked over at the small row of wooden animals he had carved. "If you care to share of course."

"Rrrraaaannn awwwwaaaayyy fffrrrrooooommm mmmmooooottthhheeeerrrr iiiiinnnn wwwooooooddddssss. Gggooooottttt llllooooossssttt. Sssssooooo hhuuuunnngggrryy."

While Sid, Trizel, and Ted tried to figure out what the phrase, 'cross my heart,' could possibly mean, Sentenza patiently listened as Bakade explained how she is balancing between animal and human. He sat there and paid attention as she explained as best as she could how she used to be a regular human girl, and the sad series of betrayals, abandonments, and her own greed that led to her transforming into the monster she was now.

"It's got to be a castle." mused Sentenza as he scratched his neck.

"I have never seen one that looked like...well, like that!" scoffed Trizel.

"Curious. Do you assume all architecture is similar to what you have personally seen?" queried Sid.

"What? No," replied Trizel defensively. "I just know what castles are for. I mean, how could this defend against anything?"

Ted tapped a finger against his chin. "Hmm," he said. "I don't know. Seems like it could be quite the formidable fortress."

The five of them were standing near something new that had been deposited on their world. It was definitely some kind of structure, and it looked like it was made out of dull, gray bricks. But whether it was a castle or not seemed to be up for debate.

"Look, just because something is big it is not a castle," sighed Trizel. "If a castle cannot be defended on its own it is no more than a manor."

"Seems you could defend this one well enough," observed Sentenza as his hands dug through his pockets.

Trizel scoffed again. "This? No. The windows near the base are far too wide. It'd be easy for an invading army to force their way in on multiple fronts. It is also lacking proper support near the roofs of the towers for soldiers to be able to fire down on your enemies from a high position."

Bakade looked up and down at the large building. She tilted her skull slightly as the blue flames of her eyes shrunk down to miniscule beads. "Iiiitt'ssss ffrraaagillle," she croaked.

"Exactly!" declared Trizel with an air of pride "This is no defensible fortress, which means it is not a castle."

"Now, would you gentlemen care to introduce yourselves properly? Or would you prefer to mock my home some more?"

The large upper window of the building had been opened, and a balcony that overlooked them was standing a woman. She looked middle-aged, but like she had taken very good care of herself. With her raven hair up in a complex bun on the top of her head with rosy lips and piercing green eyes. She was wearing a regal, Victorian dress that covered her almost completely. Leaving just about everything to the imagination.

"Ah, well I am Trizel, and with me is Ted, Sentenza, Sid, and Bakade." The giant man pointed to each of his companions as he said their name. Sentenza even made sure to tip his hart when his turn came around.

"How, informal." she said with no short amount of disdain in her voice. "Very well then. Seeing as you have come to my domain, I shall allow you to know my name. I am Baroness Narissa Grimaine. Lady of these lands." She raised an eyebrow and smirked as she curtsied towards them. "It is of course customary to bow before your betters."

Sentenza smirked and bowed deeply while a defiant smile grew on Trizel's face.

"Um, I think we should talk about where exactly..."

Trizel cut Ted off. "Seems I am in the presence of someone who claims royalty. Tell me, is your claim by birth, or did you claim it with your own hand?"

She looked down at the giant and an annoyed smile spread on her well-maintained face. "Both, and neither at the same time. But to someone like you, such circumstances should be irrelevant. Especially when you are so lowborn you don't think twice about consorting with a monster."

Bakade still seemed distracted by the structure itself, and completely missed the lady's insinuation. Which was of course technically correct, but rude all the same. Ted and Trizel seemed to take at least some offense to this, but before they could say anything, Sid chimed in.

"Baroness Narissa Grimaine?" Sid asked as he, like Bakade, focused on the building itself. "What is the composition of your home, and how long have you ruled over these lands specifically?"

Narissa let out a dry chuckle. "My home is of course made out of the finest, imported stone. As for my rule. Why it seems you're trying to get my age out of me, and I can't have that now can I? Suffice it to say I have ruled here for long enough."

"Iiiittttsss nnnoooootttt sssttooooonnnee." commented Bakade as the flames of her eyes grew back to their normal, large size.

"Not quite right Bakade," said Sid. "I think it is technically still stone, but I believe we are seeing the same thing."

"You are all rather rude you know," said Narissa with a huff. "Why if I wasn't feeling so generous today, I would have sent my guards to claim your heads long ago."

Trizel broke out laughing as Sentenza looked over at Ted. "Come on. Supplies are up in the air," Sentenza said as he tipped his hat up. "Just let me wipe out our new problem this time."

"Everyone deserves,"

"Yeah yeah," sighed Sentenza as he tried to hide his smile by putting a cigarillo in his mouth. "You're like a broken record you know."

"Try it witch!" called out Trizel in a booming voice that practically shook her opulent mansion. He took a step forward in front of everyone else and continued his speech. "I am Trizel Forellian, king of the skyborne isles! Or former king now I guess, hah hah! I claimed my land through the might of my own hands. No one has ever truly ruled over me, nor will they."

She narrowed her eyes at Trizel as she gripped the railing on the balcony. "You're rather insolent, you know that? I think I shall enjoy seeing you thrown into my dungeon."

Ted was the one who rubbed the bridge of his nose this time. He let out a sigh and then looked up at the woman. "Hey, miss?"

Her eyes flew open, and she turned to glare at Ted. "That's baroness to you!"

"Sorry, about that," chuckled Ted. "Alright then, baroness. Do you know where you are? Like, have you noticed the constant lightning storm in the sky that makes no noise?"

Narissa turned her face to the sky and squinted. "So, it is." she murmured. "Very well then boy, I give you permission to explain what you know. After all, I have never seen such a motley crew before."

"Well, you see. My friend died saving someone, and I..." Ted started from the beginning and explained the bare bones of everything. How they had all come from different worlds and either after, before, or right at their moment of death they appeared here. With Ted being the exception. During this explanation Ted realized that he never found out how Bakade ended up here. He glossed over that in his explanation to Narissa, and quickly went on to the smiling man who had not so subtly threatened them and demanded payment from them. This seemed to take the wind out of Trizel's sails, as he was hunching forward with his eyes down instead of standing tall like usual.

"So you see, we're kind of all working together. If you'd like, you could either stay with us, or come visit The Oasis. We don't have the largest variety of stuff, but we make do with what we have. You can of course have as much as you need or want."

"That is unwise, as we do not have an infinite supply of materials." Sid interjected. "You may have convinced me the liquid poison is a necessity, but gluttony will only hasten our troubles."

That made Ted pause. A thought suddenly popped into his head. Bakade had not been eating like when she first arrived. In fact, he didn't remember her eating much more than he did. A far cry from her first few days when she was out eating Trizel's weekly meals in a single sitting. Was she trying to ration food? Was she going hungry to help the rest of them?

"I should be insulted."

Narissa's words shook Ted from his thoughts as he turned to look up at her.

"Of course, you spoke with such innocence I cannot help but forgive you. This time at least. But I do not sup with the common folk." She took out a silk handkerchief and dabbed at the corners of her mouth. "To even ask someone such as I to do so is one of the gravest insults you could have done. But, as I said, I am a gracious baroness, and I will forgive you this slight. So long as you swear you shall never..."

The massive building shifted just an inch at first, but it quickly started to shake as if there was a massive earthquake. The swaying cut her off, and soon bricks were falling until, all at once, the entire thing collapsed. It was odd. As if the stone had been eroded millions of years in a moment and turned to sand.

"Ahhhhhh!!!!!" screamed Narissa as the balcony collapsed under her.

Trizel and Sentenza both smirked and struggled to hold in laughter.

This was it. Ted could see it. This was his chance for redemption. He could bolt into action to save someone, just like Diante did. He could grow. He could be more than he used to be. But then, why wouldn't his legs move? He knew what he should do. Baroness Grimaine was falling to presumably her death. He had a chance to do something about it. So why? Why did it feel impossible to move?

"As expected," Sid declared as he leaped into action. Moving past the leering Bakade, the snickering Trizel and Sentenza, and the hesitating Ted.

Ted watched helplessly as the day he should have died was repeated right in front of him. Except to his relief, Sid wasn't quite as easy to kill. With skilled footwork, the artifial intelligence in human form leaped up and grabbed Narissa in his arms before spinning around and landing on his back on the ever-growing pile of sand. He slid down while still carrying her, until he finally set her down a few feet away from the others.

"Apologies, but you seemed preoccupied with your conversation with Ted. I did not want to interrupt more than I already had." Sid explained. "I have been told my interjections tend to throw conversations off track."

At that, Sentenza and Trizel both burst out laughing. The whole situation was incredibly funny to them, and Trizel even had to grip his sides to try and contain himself.

"Pretty fancy mansion there," Sentenza teased. "Wish I had something this nice to call my own."

Narissa's face was bright red. She kept her eyes towards the ground as the two men continued to laugh. Finally, she had had enough and with a deep inhale let out a loud, "Enough!"

Trizel wiped a few tears from his eyes as he tried to fight more laughter. Sentenza kept shaking with fits of laughter, and so he just lowered his hat over his face to hide his grin that refused to go away. Ted sighed and shook his head. "Sorry. They don't mean anything malicious I swear."

"Cross your heart?" queried Sid.

Ted let out a "tss," with a smirk. "Yeah, cross my heart."

"I," Narissa cleared her throat. "I believe I could use some lodgings if you have some available."

"Pplllleeeeenttyy oooffff rrrroooooooommm," added Bakade.

"You're much taller in person," said Narissa as she looked up at Bakade. She turned to look at Trizel and frowned. "And you're much bigger as well. Though perhaps you wouldn't be if you ate better portions. It seems your gut may be trying to overtake the rest of you there."

Trizel looked down at his stomach. "Huh?"

"Okay," cut in Ted. "let's calm down a bit. Why don't we head on over to The Oasis, and you can tell us what you remember before you came here. Or even just what your world is like. I doubt any of us have seen it after all."

Narissa reached around her waist and frowned. "Yes," she said absentmindedly. "That should be fine. Please, lead the way."

"You heard her tubs," called out Sentenza as he patted Trizel's back.

"Hey, I work out much more than you do Sentenza! If one of us has the gut, it is you!"

"It's about portion sizes you see. That and using my brain so much burns tons of calories. Maybe you should try using yours some time?"

The two of them teased each other back and forth as Ted tried to calm them down. Which fell apart when Bakade joined in with a few jokes of her own. Sid tried to appear unamused, but the corners of his mouth were curling up as he listened in. And behind them all, Narissa pulled out a small, leather book. She opened it while trying to hide it from the others, and to her frustration the odd symbols inside were slowly fading away.

"Darn it Og'drimun, what are you up to?"