I roll over, trying to fall asleep, and failing.
Ever since Ana has been in the Healer's clinic recovering, sleeping is the last thing on my mind and the last thing I am capable of. Instead, my mind has been running a mile a minute, worrying about Ana and her unusually slow recovery. I keep hoping she is okay.
I groan as I roll over again and look at the alarm clock on my bedside table. The flashing blue 2am causes me to sigh in frustration.
"Not again," I sigh as I sit up, pinching my nose as I decide to get up. Fighting to go to sleep is futile.
I put on a gray hoodie and matching sweatpants and a pair of sneakers. I need to see Ana. If I see her recovering, it might settle my racing mind.
On the walk there, I think about the week Ana has been in Healer's clinic. She looked so small in the bed.
Regardless of the time I went and visited her, the nurses gave up trying to get me to leave, after I ignored them the first few times. Every time I went into her room her eyes were always closed, hiding those emerald jewels from me.
I crave the sight of them as she stares up at me. Even if they were full of anger. I crave hearing her voice instead every time I go there she is always quietly repeating "I can't love you," or "I am not your burden!"
"Moron, you shouldn't have said that," I say under my breath at the realization of her having been repeating my words to her.
Instead, Ana is always falling in and out of consciousness. When she is awake, her emerald eyes are hazy, as she stares at nothing. When she is asleep, her weak body is always moving, as if she is battling demons in her dreams.
Her state of mind has caused both Derek and me to worry. Although I seemed to be more concerned, I was always going over to be with her, while Derek hardly visits.
His actions towards his mate still made my blood boil. His avoidance of her to the point increases her distress.
I arrived at her room as though it was a normal walk and my body subconsciously guided me in her direction, which isn't surprising since I am here every day.
The beeping brought my attention to Ana. She is thrashing on the bed, her body twisting and turning into unnatural positions as she groans and whimpers in her sleep. Her left hand comes down on her right arm, scratching it and pulling her medical tubes out. "No no, I didn't mean to for it to happen," she screams.
I smell the blood before I see it. The red liquid trickles out slowly at first. My body, frozen in fear. I can't move, as I just stare at it.
The crimson liquid gushes out as Ana continues to thrash. Her movements become faster and more dire as she throws her body around the bed.
Fearing that Ana may die, I rush to her, my hands on her shoulders as I hold her down. "Forgive me. Please forgive me," she sobs out, tears streaming down at her face as she does.
"Help!" I scream, still trying to help Ana and ease her pain as she continues to thrash.
My touch is calming her slightly, as her violent thrashing eases.
"Ana, sweetie, it's just a dream," I whisper to her.
Still holding her down as my head shoots towards the door, hoping someone will come through to help.
"Help!" I scream again, before turning back to Ana, my hands still on her shoulders as her body stops thrashing wildly.
Her head is moving from side to side, her mouth opening and closing as she softly mutters something in her sleep.
I move closer to her, trying to hear the words she is saying, trying to figure out what is bothering her.
"Forgive me, I didn't mean for it to happen," she pleads. Her head continues to move. "Gisele," the name leaves her mouth with a painful groan.
I pull my hands back, staring at her as her body thrashes again. Her mouth opens and closes as she repeats her words, chanting them. Whether to convince herself or someone in her nightmare, I am not sure. I can't do anything except stare at her. My eyes are not leaving her body as I just stand there.
The doctor and nurses rush in a few minutes later. I just watch, unable to help as they hold her down.
Robert injects something into her arm. After a minute or two, her thrashing stops and the nurses reconnect the tubes and wires back to her body.
Fresh injuries cover her body. These will take longer to heal than before.
Her words still haunt me as I stare at her now peacefully sleeping form.
The nurses slowly moved out of the room, looking back to ensure that she was still calm..
"Jacob," the sound of my name causing me to look up at Robert.
Still in a daze, I try to focus on the doctor and his words. I see his mouth moving, but I'm not registering anything he is saying.
My eyes are slightly blurry, the world around me fading into white as I stare at him. His mouth is still moving - I think he is explaining Ana's situation. "She is getting weaker, she needs her mate," is all I can process from Robert's words.
My head is fighting the dizziness, pushing it back. My mind comes crashing down as the dizziness hits me like a wave, an unstoppable tsunami.
I turn on my heel, rushing out the door and out of the Healer's clinic. Once outside, I take a deep soothing breath, my body shivering as the cool night air hits my sweat covered body.
Ana's words replay in my mind. I rush over to a bush, my body retching as I replay her words over and over in my mind. Nothing comes out as I dry heave, my throat burning at the continuous, tiring moment.
A hand lands on my back, trying to comfort me.
"Son, are you okay?" Robert asks me.
I nod my head as I slowly stand up.
Robert hands me a glass of water. I gulp it down, the ice-cold liquid soothing my burning body, grounding me.
"Are you sure you are, okay?" he asks again, knowing that questioning me about what happened is futile.
"Yes," I reply, thinking of Ana, what she had said, and all the associated thoughts to the back of my mind.
"What did you want to tell me?" I ask, remembering that Robert was speaking to me about Ana's condition before I ran out.
Robert gives me a hesitant look. He takes his clipboard from under his arm, looking at me one last time before he gives me the details around Ana's peculiar case.
"The Omega isn't doing better," Robert starts, the way he can't be bothered to learn Ana's name irritates me. Robert senses it as he looks up at me, worried about what I might do.
"Her name is Anastasia," I growl out, causing Robert to gulp as he nods his head.
"Anastasia," he glances at me, "doesn't seem to do better. Her condition is deteriorating at a rapid pace."
His words cause me to grimace with worry as I try to understand how her condition is failing to improve.
"But her wounds and injuries are healing?" I ask. I am unsure about whether they are actually healing.
"Yes, her wounds are healing, albeit slowly," Robert answers me.
"However, her physical wounds are not the issue. It seems her wolf is suffering, causing her emotional and mental harm," Robert continues.
"What kind of harm?" I question, wanting to understand why her wolf would deliberately hurt her.
"She hasn't been sleeping. Her mind is constantly awake and never rests. In the past week it appears she hasn't actually slept. Her heartbeat rises as she sleeps, causing her to use more of her diminishing energy. So, she can't focus on healing. Her wolf is using the energy to focus on something else," Robert explains.
His words caused me to think about what Ana said before I had escaped the closing walls of her room. I push down the bile rising in my throat, trying to focus on the matter at hand.
"Is there a cause for it or a way to solve it so she can completely heal?" I ask, wondering, hoping there is something to help Ana and her wolf, to ease the pain as she goes through this difficult phase.
"We have given her sedatives; however, her wolf doesn't seem phased by them. She rests for a few hours before she spirals again. The strange thing, however, is when we gave her more sedatives, enough for a female alpha, she slept the whole night," Robert says.
His words confuse me. Ana shouldn't require a dose of sedatives suited for an alpha. However, I look past it, understanding the underlying message Robert is telling me. It would be too dangerous to continue giving her high doses of sedatives. We need a different solution.
"I see. So, what else can we do, since her body and her wolf are in conflict?" I ask, my brain thinking of all the unusual methods used throughout history to heal legendary figures.
I can't think of anything.
"Anastasia needs her mate. Her fast-approaching heat seems to cause her wolf more distress. The only way we can help her heal is if her mate is here. His presence should help her wolf feel comfortable enough to rest and conserve energy she will need for her upcoming heat." Robert finishes.
My heart clenches at his words. My wolf feels the need to protect Ana and keep her away from Derek.
"Thank you, Robert," I say, before walking towards Ana's room.
Her previous words have left my mind as I focus on what Robert said.
I know I should speak to Derek about the situation, and ask him to help Ana with her diminishing health. But the thought of Derek attending to her, as her heat approaches, makes me feel sick to my stomach.
I sit in the chair next to Ana's bed, my hand going up to grab hers as I stare at her delicate form. Her hand is cold and light in mine, her skin pale. I rub my thumb across the hack of her hand.
My thoughts go to Derek. I don't like the thought of him attending to Ana. How he will hold her hand. The way he could easily reach up and cup her face, the way I wish to do. The way he could bend down and place his lips on hers.
These thoughts are driving me crazy.
My other hand comes up to hold her wrist, my hand gripping it in a possessive hold as I imagine being the one to do those things for Ana. I want to bring her comfort and ease her heat, to attend to her in heat. To kiss along her neck, biting it as I move my lips down the column of her gorgeous skin, moving closer towards her collarbone.
A groan leaves my mouth as I imagine the sounds she would make as I kiss her, please her, comfort her. A possessive growl escapes me as I feel her hand squeeze into mine. Ana should be mine to attend to.
The thoughts shock me as Gisele's face plagues back into my mind, and I let go of her wrist.
I think of Gisele, and guilt rushes through me. Shame fills me as I think of all the things I want to do to Ana. As much as I try to ignore it, for me, for Ana. I can't find the courage to leave Ana. Instead, I grip her hand tighter, my head resting against the bed as I try to solve the confusing whirlwind of thoughts in my mind.
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