There's nothing more beautiful when the gold of the sunset blurs with the gold of the sea. I feel the comforting last rays of sun on my face and take in one last salty breath. I should head back. Im exhausted after such a long day.
I'm avoiding home, I'm avoiding Ana. But I can't avoid her forever. I let out a big sigh and watch the last of the sun disappear. It's nice to have some alone time, but I need to face all of my responsibilities. Even if that means dealing with Ana. The person I blame for all this loss.
I think about my dad, what would he do in this situation? I wonder why he was always determined to be nice to Ana. He seemed to be the only wolf in the pack who cared about her.
I kick the sand between my toes and start walking back along the beach. There's a lone bird in the sky, it feels like we're watching each other ponder life. I reach the edge of the beach and make my way through the forest.
As I'm heading home, walking through the peaceful darkening forest, I hear some light footsteps. I know exactly who it is. "You always find me, don't you?" I say, without having to turn around.
Gisele steps from rock to rock. She barely touches the ground. She's taken off her shoes somewhere. Clearly, she needed a long walk, too. The evening sun reaches its rays through the trees and manages to find her. It shines through her hair. She looks gorgeous. "What's up, my love?" I ask. I can see she's carrying her gorgeous head heavy. She wants me nearby, but has a lot on her mind. She gets closer in silence until she's right by me. I have to lower my head to look at her.
We're the perfect fit together. "Ana andI had a fight," she says, Grumpily.
Her bottom lip sags and she looks up into my eyes. I can see that they exchanged harsh words. Something about her seems hurt. "She's not doing well Jacob, she's not handling you freezing her out. I think you need to deal with it."
I know Gisele," I huff. It's just that I'm so angry, I can't look at her without rage bursting through me. I just-"
I try to keep walking but she won't let me.
She grabs onto my arm and pulls me back into the conversation. "You can't seriously be blaming her for it still? Jacob! She saved yours and Derek's life, they outnumbered you. Look at the details, Jacob. Don't be another one of those wolves who just disregards her. It's not her fault!"
She takes a moment to compose herself.
Then she looks into my eyes again. "You know, she lost an important person in her life to0. That day hasn't just been hard for you. It's been hard for all ofus. You can't blame her." Her eyes are serious. "That's not what everyone in the pack thinks. People are calling her a bad omen, they're saying she's cursed. It's not disregard, they're concerned for their safety" I respond. Not wanting to rationalize.
I think back to that fight. Maybe Gisele is right. Maybe there would have been more deaths if she hadn't been there. But she distracted me too much! I can't tell. The bottom line is she shouldn't have been in that battle.
A long silence falls as Gisele crosses her arms. We're walking on soft moss and leaves now, the oly sound is the crunching beneath our feet. She's frowning as if she's thinking deeply. I can't help but notice how adorable her nose scrunch is when she's deep in thought.
My phone beeps in my pocket. It's a strange alien noise in contrast to the night crickets and calm nature around us. I stop to look at it. Gisele stops too.
It's from Ana. "How many times has she tried to call you today? Look at all those missed calls!"
Gisele says with surprise in her voice. Im embarrassed to have the evidence that proves how terribly I have been avoiding
Ana.
Tve had a busy day, Gisele. It's not easy leading a pack.
"You can't do this to her, Jacob. She's going to snap, I tell you. She really lost her shit to me today. I'm trying not to take it personally, but I'm worried about her," she says. What does it say?" She peeks up onto her tippy toes to look over and down at my phone. "She wants a game night, like the good old days." I smile a little. Deep down inside of me, I can feel that Ana needs me, that
I'm being cruel. I'm just so confused.A game night like before would be nice, but I don't think Ill have time anymore for such playful things.
I've got duties now.
I keep walking.
Gisele stays where she stood. She stares up at the sky, lost in the stars, her arms still wrapped tightly around herself. In the darkened light, I can see her silhouette, like a goddess fallen. She is the perfect shape. "You coming?" I ask, sweetly.
I think I need more time to think," she says. I take the two steps back to hug her from behind. I nuzzle my unshaved chin into her neck and kiss her on the cheek. "You okay?" I ask. "Yeah, Im fine," she says. Jacob?" "Yes, the most beautiful girl1?" "Am I a princess?" "You're my princess," I say as I squeeze her tighter.
No, she chuckles lightly. Am Iuseless like... like everything just gets handed to me? Like a prissy princess whơ's detached from reality?" "What? Gisele? No, you're the kindest, most giving wolf I know. If you're a princess, then you're a warrior princess- maybe not the best fighter," I say playfully. She punches my arm lightly in response. "BU you fight for what you believe in and the people you love. It's one of the things I admire most about you."
She turns around and buries her face in my chest.
"Thank you." Her words are muffled against me, but I understand her. We stand like that under the stars.
I walk her home. We skip our meals and instead make passionate, caring love.
The next day, I slip out of my room without crossing Ana's path. I leave Gisele in my sheets and head to work. I make sure there's some breakfast laid out for her.
She's got to get herself to school, but I know her well enough to let her wake up when she's ready.
She knows she'll try to talk to Ana. I don't know if I can say the same.
I'm out the door just in time. It's an early start for those of us running this place. I make it to my office as dawn cracks. Derek, like the Beta he is, is already there brewing us some coffee. A much needed kick-start to a full day ahead. "Morning, boss," Derek says as I walk into the office. "How are you holding up?"
He can tell I've got a lot on my mind. Im trying to think of my evening with Gisele, but instead my brain keeps tormenting me with Ana. I feel guilty and angry at the same time. I have nowhere to turn.
I wonder if Derek can offer some insights. "Yeah, Im fine. I've just got to deal with
Ana," I say as I take my seat. "You know,
I haven't really spoken to her in weeks."
Derek places my coffee in front of me. "Oh that, I thought you were stressed with all the pack duties. Don't worry about her.
She deserves everything she gets."
His words are strong like poisorn. He seems heartless and unphased like what he just said is normal. What does Ana get? What are the other wolves doing to her? "What do you mean by that?" I ask. I'm a bit taken aback by Derek's comment. It's in that moment that I know I'm not that angry about Ana. I feel protective of her.
Derek shifts his weight on his feet. It's like he wants to backtrack on what he said. like his
Does he think Omegas are a waste girlfriend does? I don't think so.
No, no," he tries to save himself. 1-I meant that she can handle everything. Take your time. Youl speak to her when you're ready. I mean, she's just an Omega anyway, she shouldn't have been in that battle in the first place.."
He's rambling, stumbling on his words.
You know it's a new moon soon. A great night for a hunt. I think we should go together and itll clear your head," he continues.
I think about it fora bit. "Yeah, youre right. A good hunt will help me clear my mind. Thanks bud." I decide to ignore the other strange things he was saying. I need to start focusing on my tasks, anyway. I look at the papers on my desk and check my agenda. The office is feeling more and more like home every day.
Ineed to focus on my tasks at hand. I throw our personal conversation to the side and get my game face on. "Ready for some more meetings?" I ask. "As ready as Ill ever be," Derek responds.