A few weeks had passed and by now you could feel that the autumn had arrived. The otherwise so green leaves of the deciduous trees gradually changed color and the forest almost looked as if it were on fire. The days grew darker and the air colder. It was also raining more, which is why the training sessions of the palace guards were now held indoors in a large hall. In retrospect, that was actually very courteous from our superiors, considering how they usually treated us guards.
…
The preparations for the annual autumn ball were in full swing and everyone was extremely busy. That included Prince Cain. He was hardly present in his room and was ordered from one matter to another by his father.
That's why I didn't see him that often anymore.
I wondered if this mysterious magician still had her crows watching me and was frustrated to discover that I hadn't gotten any closer to the prince yet.
After all, we really haven't had much time to … do anything lately.
I really wanted to pretend I didn't mind, but somehow it felt uncomfortable not being able to see Prince Cain that often anymore. I had grown accustomed to his regular company. Besides this unapproachable magician, he was the only one who knew how I felt.
However, I'd taken the witch's other advice a bit to heart, and lately I've been more into books on politics and the royal family.
Even if the books were grueling and boring.
Even if the scholars just stared at me oddly or even hatefully in the library.
Even if I was very uncomfortable.
They didn't miss an opportunity to show me how unwanted I was in this book sector. To them, this knowledge was reserved only for the 'educated', not for the mere guards, who were not even worthy of being fully instructed in the affairs of the land in their training. But I didn't let that stop me.
They didn't want to mess with a palace guard who was in Prince Cain's favour, after all. Besides, I was a lot better trained in combat than they were. So I wasn't worried that they would physically attack me. So all they could do was behave passively aggressively and gossip about me as soon as they had the chance. But I already knew that from my previous life. So I was kind of used to it. Even though it felt like shit.
Through the books and the 'publicly' available reports I had learned that our country's relationship with Ildrega seemed to be a bit strained.
This also explained why there were hardly any new doctors here, since they were only trained in Ildrega.
There was a dispute between the two kings.
The king of Ildrega apparently wanted to form an alliance by marrying his eldest daughter to Prince Cain. But Cain's father was against it. For... certain reasons.
Not only that his own son was gay, but also that the Princess of Ildrega couldn't be older than thirteen years. Also, there would be little advantage in forming an alliance with Ildrega, as the country was relatively small and yet very aggressive in their foreign policy. It had already made enemies of many other countries on the eastern border.
To ally yourself with a kingdom that had so many enemies at such uncertain times was really not worth it.
However, Ildrega possessed great military power and could easily fight and win a war against our country. As a country that was right next to us and could launch an attack anytime, that was a very big threat.
For this reason, the Ildregan royal family was invited to the annual autumn Ball to at least reach a peace agreement.
Somehow I had a bad feeling about it. Something would definitely go wrong. I knew that. And I had a feeling Cain knew that too. Whenever I crossed paths with him, he usually scowled. He looked like he was about to be led to the slaughterhouse.
His facial expression was completely different from the serious expression he usually wore to fool the others. His expression was less elitist... more depressed.
Even when we were just the two of us, he was seldom playful or mischievous as usual. He was serious and unyielding. Having sex with him was suddenly exhausting. He seemed to take all of his frustration out on me. And I foolishly let all this endure over me. Because I also liked his hard, merciless side. It was exciting. It was scary, but also very arousing…
I know... if I had seen my own story back then in my old life... acting the way I do now, I must have looked like a pathetic fool. I would have shouted at this character not to always be so reserved and put it all away in silence. That I should stand up for myself and not always accept everything like that.
Still, I couldn't help it. In reality it was all very different. It was more difficult than expected.
As the mere Guard, who actually had nothing to say here and who was practically just the prince's new toy... What could I even do?
I almost lost my head trying to defend the prince's honor in front of the young queen. I don't even want to know what happens here when I speak up or stand up for myself.
I've seen my colleagues whipped or beaten half to death often enough over trifles. For worse offenses they were publicly beheaded. It scared me.
I had already died before. I don't necessarily want to experience it a second time so quickly. It was an awful feeling.
In this world I was nothing. I was replaceable. I was... not important. It didn't matter how I felt. I was just the property of the palace.
I became painfully aware of this.
Still, I have no other place to go. It was the only place I knew here. Where else should I even go? Traveling through Wallachia as a vagabond? That would be ridiculous and even more pathetic. I would probably eventually be caught by slave traders and treated even worse.
Also, Here were my friends. The only ones in this world. Here I got food and a dry place to sleep. Many villagers or slaves would kill for such privileges.
The original owner of this body seemed desperate to become a palace guard. And probably for good reason. Apparently it was every villager's dream job. Because you had a secure future here. Because you got a lot of money here (two gold coins a week) and you were fed. That was more than most could dream of.
Still, it felt strange to be here. Sometimes I still couldn't really believe that this was really my life now.
The preparations for the ball made everything seem even more surreal. The new palace guards were taught ball etiquette and guard behavior during events.
Basically we just had to stand at the edge of the ballroom and guard the doors. We should settle disputes and report worse events immediately. We were not allowed to speak to the guests unless they spoke to us first.
All of us should be able to remember that, shouldn't we?