When I woke up the next morning my whole body felt sore and bruised. I was at the end of my strength as Cain - or whatever that was yesterday - had kept me up most of the night.
I quickly looked over to the other side of the bed and saw Cain sleeping peacefully. Somehow it frustrated me that he seemed to have such a nice and relaxed night's sleep. I wanted to smack him in the face for it. But then again, I also knew that it wasn't really Cain who did that to me yesterday.
He probably didn't know anything. The creepy creature from yesterday had given the impression that Cain wouldn't find out. Or rather, that he shouldn't find out.
I felt bad that I was now sharing a secret with this monster that seemed to live in Cain. Mainly because it was the monster that made Cain's life so miserable. And I was now a part of this terrible intrigue. It was almost ridiculous how easy it was for this thing to blackmail me.
But what could I do? I couldn't risk the lives of my only friends here in this world ... I just … couldn't. That was the least I could do for them. They should never regret being friends with me.
Still, lying to Cain felt terribly bad. Even if he probably didn't know anything about it. Still, I couldn't look him in the eye right now.
I needed some time to think. Maybe I should gain some distance.
I got up carefully so as not to wake Cain. On shaky legs I disappeared into the bathroom next door to clean myself up a bit, since I felt kind of sticky and dirty. I also tried to clean the bite wound on my leg as best I could. At least the bleeding had stopped. But you could still clearly see Cain's bite mark in my flesh and the bruises around it gradually turned blue.
But that was secondary for now. The first thing I had to do was get away from here as quickly as possible. I needed some distance.
I didn't know how to face Cain from now on. Now that I had... seen it.
I hastily gathered my clothes that were scattered on the floor and got dressed quickly.
I left Cain's room as quietly as possible to leave unobtrusively.
…
As I walked down the corridors, most of the palace workers just gave me odd looks as I passed. It was probably because I was still wearing the ceremonial uniform from last night and it didn't seem to fit properly anymore.
When I looked down at myself, I noticed that in my rush it seemed that I had buttoned the button strip wrong. I must have looked a little disheveled.
I wanted to get back to my room as soon as possible, but I knew I had to speak to the court magician again first. I wanted to know more about Cain's condition. And she was apparently the only one who could answer my questions.
I knew that otherwise my thoughts would be going around in circles unnecessarily. So I went looking for her. She had to be found somewhere...
As I was turning the next corner, I accidentally bumped into someone. I was about to apologize when I saw who I had just walked into:
"J-Jon?" I asked in disbelief.
He was one of the last people I wanted to meet right now.
I was a bit uncomfortable. He probably saw everything at the ball last night. I bit my lower lip in embarrassment.
What would he think of me now? Would he end his friendship with me?
"Chris?! Oh man, where have you been?! I was really worried about you! I saw what the prince did to you at the ball yesterday and after that you just disappeared! I thought they beheaded you or something! Even Armon didn't know where you were, although he is very good friends with the dungeon master." Jon looked genuinely concerned.
I was silent at first. Not a word passed my lips. I didn't know what to tell him now. Or rather: how I should explain everything to him.
I could hardly tell him that I was originally a woman from another world who was reincarnated into the body of a man who was actually a spy from Ildrega and also Prince Leopold's lover and was now having a sexual relationship with Prince Cain, who seems to be under a terrible curse or in whom a sex-obsessed demon has taken up residence.
He wouldn't understand, heavens I hardly understood it myself! It was all so overwhelming and stressful.
"Chris... is everything alright?" Jon asked after a while. He seemed to have noticed that something was wrong with me and that I was at odds with myself.
"Err... yes... it's fine, don't worry." I tried to assure him, but failed. My voice sounded too agitated.
"You're bleeding!" He suddenly remarked, so that all the blood rushed out of my face, making me as pale as the wall.
"W-what?"
"There on your leg."
"Oh, that's nothing, I just accidentally cut myself..." I tried to talk myself out and to suppress the burgeoning panic.
"On your leg?" Jon seemed beyond confused.
"Y-yes... while... shaving..." I blurted out unsure.
I would have liked to give myself a facepalm.
'Cut while shaving'?, seriously? Why did I just say that?! I could have just said that I got hurt during the guard training! Why didn't I think of that first!?
"You shave your legs?" Jon asked puzzled with a big frown on his face.
"Y-yeah?" It sounded more like a question than an answer.
"Is that what the prince wants from you?"
"W-what?"
"Is he asking you to shave your legs for him? Or is he asking you to shave your whole body? Oh by the gods Chris I'm so sorry... that you have to do … that … with the prince … I couldn't imagine doing something like-"
"N-no... it's not like that..." I cut him off.
"What do you mean by that? He forces you to do it with him, doesn't he? I actually figured right away that he'd be targeting you pretty soon, when you said in training back then that he was trying to flirt with you." Jon's words sounded almost accusatory. He was so serious. I didn't know that he could also be like this at all.
I was about to say something when I suddenly noticed a small black shadow out the window.
It was one of the mage's crows. I immediately became more alert and followed the crow with my eyes as it flew towards the southern palace gardens. The magician was probably there. I had to speak to her immediately. The monster that lived in Cain had to be stopped before it would do irreversible damage!
"Jon, I'm sorry, but I have to go now. We'll talk about it later, okay?" I said hurriedly and turned to go.
"Hey, don't run away from me!" Jon complained as he grabbed my wrist to stop me.
I yelped in pain and jerked my arm away from him in a panicked movement. I rubbed my bruised wrist, as I noticed Jon's gaze suddenly fall on my blue wrists. His eyes widened. I froze.
"What … what has he done to you, Chris?" Jon asked in horror.
"N-nothing, he wasn't..." I tried to explain miserably, but stopped mid-sentence when I saw Jon's face. He didn't believe a word I said. You could tell by looking at him.
I sighed profusely.
"Jon, listen to me ... he ... it's complicated." I explained awkwardly.
"It all looks very simple to me, Chris: He abuses you and forces you to do things you don't want to do. And you put up with it for fear of being killed." He said and looked at me again with that serious look.
I felt my pulse begin to race.
"It's not what you think it is!" I said louder than intended.
"Oh yes? And then how is it?!" He asked challengingly.
"I... I wanted it too..." I admitted a bit shy.
"What do you mean by that, Chris?"
"Jon... I ... I'm gay." I finally said.
An oppressive silence fell over us.
"Gay...? What does that mean?" Jon asked me confused. It suddenly occurred to me that the word probably wasn't that common in regular language usage at this timeline, so Jon didn't understand it.
"That means I like men. Like … romantically and … sexually…" I explained shyly.
For a short time Jon just looked at me with a blank expression. I couldn't see what was going on inside his head.
"That... still doesn't give the prince the right to mistreat you like that." He finally said.
"I...I like it rough..." I confessed, my face flushed. It was incredibly embarrassing for me to admit such a thing in front of my best friend.
Jon's eyes widened, then he started laughing out loud. I was just glad that we were the only ones in this hallway.
"Oh man, Chris. I knew you had a screw loose, but I didn't expect you to have these strange fetishes." Jon said laughing and patted my shoulder.
"Wait, don't you think it's weird that I like men?" Now I was the one who was a bit puzzled.
"Why should I? As long as you don't try to get in my pants, everything's fine. And honestly, I've always wondered why you don't try to land with women much more with your handsome face. But this explains a lot." Jon said and smiled cheekily at me.
I was relieved that Jon somehow understood me in his own way. It was nice that he still saw me as his friend. I had already feared the worst. I would have liked to hug him right now.
I promised him that we would meet again this evening to discuss everything calmly. Then I rushed off to find the mage who apparently wasn't meant to be found…