Come on
I open and close my palm repeatedly, trying to grasp that familiar feeling. I let out a tired breath.
Once again, I will mana to my arm. The mana travels on the circuit-like array of lines that ran through my limbs. With a quick pulse, I instantly felt my arm getting stronger. While the activation of the 「Reinforcement」 spell was much faster than before, that wasn't the goal of my training.
Tsk
I click my tongue in annoyance. Ever since the witch left me to my own devices after revealing my elemental attribute, I had been focusing on trying to 'activate' said attribute.
Will it kill her to be a little more helpful?
Even after telling me to rely on her magical knowledge and guidance, she basically just left me to fend off for myself.
Activating an element was much harder than I imagined it to be. I thought that it was another branch of magic, like「Conjuration」 and 「Reinforcement」. Sadly, I was proven the hard way.
After spending hours trying to crack this puzzle, I was met with the whopping prize of nothing. I could not figure anything out even with the passive effect of 「Instinct」. Still, that didn't mean I should give up.
She said that this was essential to making me stronger–to help me fulfill my duty as her knight. That meant that she deemed me ready to know all of this. The circuit-like array of lines once again flares to life.
With a thought filled with desperation and determination, I move the mana inside my body once more. This time – like all the others – I opt for a different outcome.
Though I couldn't change much in the way I directed the mana other than it's direction, the 'test' that she had given me gave me a different perspective. Like a purposeful flood or a beggar passing through a food stall, I try to bring something else with the mana that I controlled.
The element that the crystal ball had manifested, that dark miasma that the witch had so effortlessly controlled, was my own. That meant that I could use it, utilize it's nature for my own.
That deep darkness was a critical part of my Core that I had so painstakingly reached. Judging by how much it occupied the crystal ball, it would make sense to assume that it was the most present and therefore easier to grasp part of my 'nature'.
The mana swirl and flow in my body slowly, just as I commanded. Not even knowing where to look was seriously a huge pain in the ass. Though the element was the most present part of my 'nature', it was still incredibly hard to detect. I just did not know where to even begin to look.
Suddenly, as if in response to my inner anguish, the door swung open.
"How ya' doin' son?"
I'm not your child!
I almost blurted out. Though I knew for certain she could not understand me, I was not stupid enough to make a retort to my benefactor even with a language barrier between us. It was tempting, but I had to refuse. The witch continued, oblivious to my inner turmoil.
"Are you having difficulty activating your element? Don't worry, you're doing great. Besides, it's not your fault you're struggling like this. It's just that you learned magic prematurely."
…What does that mean?
I tilt my head and dismiss the mana flowing in my arm. I give her a curious look. She cleared her throat.
"Ahem. Since you learned how to manipulate mana without first familiarizing yourself with your elemental attribute, you're now experiencing relapse. If I had to guess, the first time you absorbed mana, you probably only went for the element that felt the most comfortable on the spur of the moment. You most likely absorbed atmospheric mana prematurely, that's why you're having trouble wielding anything other than the element that you should have the most compatibility with."
…H-how…
Watching her explain my faults and mistakes so precisely made my skin crawl, sending goosebumps throughout my body.
Come to think of it, that was what happened. I had absorbed the blue atmospheric mana not because of compatibility, but rather convenience. This seemed to produce a negative chain effect in which my body acclimated to the wrong element.
If this was really the case, then I was in huge trouble. Not only would I need to train myself to handle an element that I was supposed to have gotten used to in the first place, I would also have to master it enough to get the approval of the witch to get my next magical aptitude.
While I could just ask her outright – if that was even possible – what my aptitudes are, I voted against it. She must have had a good reason not to tell me. I just had to trust her.
Though, even with my motivations, I was still in a tight pinch. I was not even at the staring line. My beginning in this crooked path that I had put myself on was cracked and faulty. I was not even at zero, I was far below that.
I was in the negatives. The lesser-than-nothing crew. The ones who are forgotten. Though I was familiar with that notion, I still was not comfortable with it.
The witch continued her lecture.
"You could get a magician with the same element as you to pour their mana into you so you could familiarize and recognize yourself with the alike element instead of the brute-force method, though."
…R-really?
"…?!"
I approach her in the blink of an eye and hold her hands. She appeared flustered for a second, the light tint of her cheeks disappearing along with the emergence of her veil. I was still uncomfortable with this side of her.
Shame catching up to me from where I left it, I let go of her soft hands, slowly. She spoke dejectedly.
"…Sadly, the darkness element isn't one of my fortes. Really, how unfortunate. To think that you would be compatible with the one element that I'm the least proficient in really is nothing more than just bad luck."
My shoulders sank. I had expected good news when she had given me that option, but to think that it was nothing more but an introduction.
Why must fate hate me so?
She spoke uneasily, the veil slipping a bit.
"B-but don't worry! I've found the perfect way you could learn to use your element. Follow me."
Saying that, she left the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
Déjà vu...