"I look… pretty," I whispered to myself as I ran my palm over my smooth and healthy-looking face.
No, my face didn't change. I just look a lot… well, younger. It was far from the face I had looked at before leaving for work the previous day.
I had never considered myself pretty, even when I was young. I always thought I was plain looking and not attractive at all. But as I grew older and got so caught up with earning as much money as possible to support my family, I somehow got worse. Sure, I wasn't the type to care so much about my looks, even from the get-go. But my skin was healthier before than my current pale one. I did not have overly noticeable dark circles under my tired-looking eyes. I wasn't fat when I was younger, but just a wee bit on the chubby side. However, I was diagnosed with a hormonal condition that caused me to gain much weight through the years. My fucked-up work schedule did not help on this, as well. And somehow, I cannot find the time to get a follow-up check-up or treatment. But I haven't cared about how I looked until today when I am again looking at my young, a lot healthier self.
Why did I let myself 'deteriorate' like that? I sighed.
"So you have kicked us out just so you could admire yourself?"
I turned towards the door when I heard that familiar voice. And there was Kenji, leaning against the frame of my bedroom's now widely open door, smirking.
Earlier, due to my confusion about everything, I had asked him and all my family members to scram as I would like to try gathering and rearranging my thoughts. But I wasn't surprised that he was back in my room to bother me so soon. He has done it a lot since we were young. And I know he was mainly just worried, so he couldn't leave me alone.
When I didn't answer and just kept staring, he peeled himself off the door frame and let himself in. He casually claimed a space on top of my crumpled bed sheets and frowned.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
I didn't answer. Instead, I walked towards him and reached for his smooth cheek. Without uttering a single word, I pinched as hard as I could.
"Ouch!" and Kenji cursed colorfully. "What the hell was that for?"
"That hurt, so it wasn't a dream. I'm not dreaming?" I said, almost unconsciously.
"You lunatic, you're supposed to pinch yourself to confirm if you're dreaming! Why did you pinch me instead?" He complained as he kept on massaging his now red cheek.
"Don't want to. It might hurt." I answered.
"Which is exactly the point!" he blurted out, wide-eyed. "What's wrong with you?"
"I honestly don't know. I must be dreaming." I started to blabber. "I mean, this is not possible. I was just--- Ouch!" I shouted as, without warning, Kenji attacked my left cheek the way I did on his minutes ago. "What the hell?"
"See? It's painful. Congrats! You're not dreaming." He nonchalantly said with a wicked grin.
"You just wanted to get even!" I accused, my eyes narrowing to slits.
"Well, maybe…" he playfully answered.
"You-!" I reached out both my hands towards him.
"Hey! Hey!" he tried to lift his arms as some sort of defense against my attack, but I was faster. I locked my arms around his shoulders and tackled him. We ended up as a tangled mess of arms and legs on top of my equally messy bed.
His chest shook under my face as he laughed.
"Dude, you're bonkers. Come on, get off," he said in between laughs. But I didn't join in with the laughter. I didn't even move to get off. Instead, I tightened my arms around his shoulders and pressed my face to his chest.
He must have sensed something was off because his hand reached for my hair and tried to brush the strands off my face. I can already feel his eyes trying to find my face to check.
"Hey, you okay?" he asked again, but softer this time.
"Y-yeah… I'm just--" I choked a bit. God, do not cry! He'll totally think you've lost it. "I just miss you."
He chuckled.
"You weirdo! We just met yesterday."
True. If this was the day I think it was, then we, indeed, had just hung out the previous day. But for me, it wasn't that day.
My present was very far from this one. At my present, I no longer see him a lot. Sure, we still see him on important occasions. He's an honorary part of the family, after all. But we were no longer this close either. And I can take more than half of the blame for that. I was always so caught up with my problems I might have started pushing people away. I had started building walls around me and not letting people in. I thought I was okay in my own little world. But it looks like I was barely coping.
I heard him sigh. He then used his manly power to lift me off him and get me seated beside him on the bed. Then he brushed my messy hair off my face to get a better view. I didn't miss the deep frown on his handsome face.
"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked again with his soft and gentle voice.
I bit my lip and shook my head, trying to regain my composure. Then I smiled at him. I just wasn't sure how genuine that looked.
"I'm fine. I was a bit out of it. You know, my birthday. I get a little crazy on my birthday, right?" I answered finally. I know how weird that sounded, but that was the best I got.
"You sure?" he asked, still wearing a worried look.
"Yup, don't worry about me," I said, a little too jolly to be considered normal, but I hope he bought it.
That's right. If this is a dream, then let's not alert other people. Let's live it through and cherish it while it lasts.
He sighed again and smiled.
"You are just so weird sometimes. It's a bit scary." He said while shaking his head. He pulled out something from his back pocket and presented it to me. It was a small, white envelope that looked strangely familiar. "Here, your mandatory present." He beamed.
This gift looked strangely familiar I was hesitant to take it.
"Chie," he nudged when I hadn't moved for a while.
"Yeah, right. Okay." I snatched the envelope from his hand.
"Open it." He urged, looking more excited than I was.
I obliged and slowly opened the envelope, already picturing what was inside. But even though I was already expecting it, my heart still dropped.
It was indeed that day! I thought. This was the exact same gift I received from Kenji on that day.
"Happy Birthday, Chie! Aren't I the best bestfriend in the world?" I heard him brag, but just faintly, as I was so focused on the concert ticket in my hand.
It was a VIP concert ticket to Raiden Von Perez's concert. The same Raiden who killed himself roughly five years from this day.
"I am dreaming."