Yong catches up to Seo in a short run. The older pauses for the younger, silver eyes scanning Yong's face.
"How is she?" Seo asks seriously, his brows drawn together. Whatever he reads in Yong's face doesn't please him. Yong exhales rather defeatedly but doesn't inquire after how Seo knew.
"Let's hurry," is all he says. Seo holds him from the shoulder instead.
"Go back to your sister," he says insistently. "Stay with her. Or else she will do something stupid. I don't need to be escorted to Chondeokjeon."
Again, Yong doesn't ask him how he knew that he was needed at Chondeokjeon. Seo doesn't wait around to argue the merits of his advice as he hurries after the guardsmen. In truth, knowing what awaits him; Seo doesn't want Yong to be a witness and he wills - to any god that listens - that Yong manages to hold Seol back.
He could hear her heart, had he listened to it - Chondeokjeon is that unprecedentedly silent. Apart from the guards at attention and the queen's retinue aimlessly stationed outside - nothing seems out of norm. Seo notices Yul from a distance, lean and pale - more so by the worry that seemed to shrink him.
"It's Eomonie," Yul begins before catching his expression. "You know." He deduces, "Young master Kang, she doesn't want you here."
"Young master Kang -" Lady Noh bustles towards him, the door left open behind her. Inside they could hear the emperor's thundering tone delivering some scathing remark. "Her grace the queen -"
Seo pushes past her, trailed by Yul who looks rather green in face. On a normal day the breach of decorum would have granted them both a visit to the scripture hall if nothing else. You simply did not barge into the emperor's private residence. Exceptionally so when the queen was in attendance.
"Don't call him!" The queen sounds sharp. "I don't want him brought! I don't wish to see him!"
The emperor stiffens and stands up from the queen's bedside as they walk in. He remains holding her hand though, his shoulders rigid with worry, his jaw set in a line of cynical thought. The queen lies fogged by muslin curtains drawn around the bed.
Her complexion pale and perspiration glistens at her brow. She has her lips pursed so as not to betray a single sound of her pain. Her hand tightens its hold around the emperor's when her eyes fall upon Seo.
"No." She says sharply. "Go away!"
"Jangmi - ah," the emperor warns, only his worry blunts the sharp edges of his tone.
"Leave!"
The rejection plunges like a blade of sorts and a deep seated ache somewhere within him begins to throb anew. Seo bites the inside of his cheek and feels the tinge of blood on his tongue. She isn't looking at him, the woman who had once loved him more than his birth mother - who had raised him in a way. Seo drops to one knee by her side, reaching to smooth the sweaty hair off her forehead. His touch is reverent, eyes full of concern.
"Wanghu mama," he addresses her softly. The queen closes her eyes and sighs, a tear escaping the corner of her eyes. Her face relaxes if only marginally.
"Go away," she says weakly. "I'm not going to make any more bargains with you. Go away!"
Seo closes his eyes against the flinch of defeat. His hand however remains in her hair, caressing - lightly pressing. With his other hand he reaches to take her pulse.
"I'm leaving by nightfall," his voice is soft. "Won't you look at me once - before I leave? It's been a decade and a half - third sister, please."
"I didn't ask you to come," her reply is scathing. Her hand nearly slips from his fingers as he flinches at its bitterness. "Please - please leave."
Seo sighs. Something he holds dear within him chips away a little. He takes a moment to pull himself together and smiles, though the mere tugging at his lips doesn't conjure any light in his eyes.
"I wouldn't have come today, had you not been so afraid," he tells her softly. "I won't come again until you call me. But regrettably- I know that you will." The queen jerks and looks at him, her eyes widening. "Don't be afraid, third sister, it is a happy news" He shakes his head, corners of his mouth tagging upwards. Gently he strokes her hair.
"You are not poisoned," he tells her. "It was a lotus root."
A corner of the queen's mouth twitches, and her cheeks flush.
"You are carrying another child," He rises from her side, rubbing his hands together as if he was suddenly cold. "Someone either mistakenly, or deliberately infused Wanghu mama's tea with a lotus root. It's harmless - almost - only its cold properties cause extreme discomfort to women carrying a child."
He turns to the emperor and the disappointment in his silver eyes is carefully concealed.
"A thousand felicitations to your imperial majesty," Seo echoes the traditional greeting almost tastelessly, the bow that accompanied his words rather listless. "This official shall not intrude upon your presence any longer. If your imperial majesty grants leave."
"Seo - ya," the emperor begins.
Seo shakes his head almost imperceptibly. Before turning one last time to brush his hand on the queen's hair.
"I'm leaving," he tells her, and nearly chokes on the words. "Sleep…. Sleep now," his voice has a soothing lull to it and his fingers press into her scalp. "Sleep…"
Her eyes flutter shut and her breathing eases as if he had drugged her with an extra strong infusion of chamomile. Seo remains watching her for a moment longer, stroking her hair - watching for any changes in her breathing. After a moment he arranges her hand to rest against her abdomen and stands up.
"My fortune shines upon you."
The emperor looks close to dragging him back by the neck by the time Seo finally leaves.
"Seo - ya," he starts again.
"She owns my life," he says simply. "She may command it as she wishes. Forgive me Pyeha, I wish heavens grant your majesty the opportunity to see another beautiful daughter."
The emperor watches him for a moment, a silent look passes between them before the emperor nods. His shoulders droop and mouth hardens into a thin line.
"When I find the person behind this -" the emperor begins.
"Your majesty only has to command." Seo bows.
"Yul - ah," the emperor calls. "See General Kang to the door and ask your lady mother's retinue to return. She will be resting here - for the time being."
It is after only they remain in the chamber that the emperor calls the queen by her personal name again. He sounds unprecedentedly bitter.
"Today you've reminded me of a woman I never imagined to think of in relation to you - Kang Jangmi." He says scathingly. "I've always wondered how someone manages to turn away from such obvious affection. Such obvious longing. How a mother refuses to see a child's heart. Perhaps, you could enlighten me."
A sob rattles Jangmi, and she clasps a hand to her mouth.
"Go on," she says. "That's nowhere near your hurtful best - lord husband."
He doesn't.
Instead he sits by her side, the post Seo had vacated, and begins to stroke her hair.
"No need for it," he says. "You are already hurting - aren't you? You hurt yourself, you kill him over and over again. The boy is desperate for scraps of your love."
She is crying earnestly now that the emperor doesn't speak anymore.
"Why doesn't he hate me?" She asks between sobs. "Why doesn't he simply stop? I can't bear to watch him hurting himself over and over again - knowing that I brought it upon him. I can't ask him for another favor, another bargain when each of them chips away at his life. I can't love him knowing I will lose him to a darkness I cannot win against. For the life of me - I can't watch him leave - knowing one day he will not come back!"
*