I stood up from the table and quickly made my way out of the dining room and back towards my bedroom. I didn't wait for the guards, but I could hear them rushing to catch up to me but out of the many years I've lived here there has never been any form of attack. So walking by myself in my opinion wasn't a problem at all. I turned down the hall that lead to my bedroom and when I reached my door I opened it, closing it behind me and leaned against the door as I took a deep breath. He wanted me to do that? In front of his entire pack? I was already nervous enough about doing it in the privacy of a dark room with only the two of us, but now this?
I grabbed my laptop and sat down on my bed, I lifted the top and signed in. When the Wi-Fi successfully connects I pull up Google and type into the search bar, 'Does losing your virginity hurt?' According to Planned Parenthood, 'There might be pain and bleeding the first time a penis or fingers go into your vagina, but it doesn't happen to everybody. Some people naturally have more hymenal tissue than others -this pain and bleeding can happen when their hymen gets stretched.'
That's the answer for humans at least, would it be the same for me? I clicked on another link discussing it, and then another, and then another, until I was down this rabbit hole and landing on a video. 'Losing your virginity 101' it was called, and I hesitantly clicked on the video. It started out as a man talking about steps and how to make it easier for her, it was basically a how to for other men who are dating virgins. I skipped a few minutes and when it began to play again my screen was full of nothing else than a mans penis slowly going into a woman who was clearly a virgin. I scrunched my nose as I watched, and the second I saw a little blood I slammed my laptop closed.
"I don't think I can do this," I mumbled to myself. I placed my laptop down on the bed and laid back so my head rested on my pillow. I couldn't stop thinking about the video and what I would have to do with Aspen. My first time would be during some sacred ritual that I knew nothing about, so I guess it's a good thing my parents are going to teach me some of the steps to it. I really hope none of the guards would be out there to watch me humiliate myself with learning this. I covered my face with my hands and groaned loudly as the embarrassment started to sink in, I rolled over onto my stomach and buried my face into my pillow, clutching it into my arms.
This was not how I imagined my first time, and certainly not with a man like Aspen. When I first learned about my mate, I expected him to be gentle, loving, and very attractive, and while Aspen is only one of those things, he's still my mate. I don't know him at all, I wish I could learn more about him and I'll get that opportunity in three months, but I feel like he should have at least stayed a few days longer so we could talk more, because he didn't leave a great first impression on me at all.
Banging started again outside my window and what felt like butterflies started swirling and fluttering in my lower abdomen. I wanted to watch Onyx work, but the thought of what he was working on made me cringe. He was essentially helping my parents prepare me for that night, and I'm not sure if he even realizes it, and if he does... What does he think about it, about me? I buried my face deeper into the pillow, and then I heard laughing coming from outside. My curiosity peaked and got the best of me. Slowly I unpeeled myself away from my pillow and off my bed, quietly making my way to the window. When I looked over the yard I spotted Onyx and two guards, Onyx was leaning against the wall that surrounded my territory, as was one of the guards, while the third man was sitting in the grass soaking up the sun as he looked up at the sky with his eyes closed. They each had a drink in their hand, and the guard sitting down was smoking a cigarette, I watched as he casually passed it to the other guard.
The men were all talking to each other in hushed tones and joking around with each other and I smiled to myself, I never had a friend before but my brother, Evan told me I wasn't missing out on much. But seeing Onyx laughing and having fun made me miss something I didn't know I wanted. Their smiles were contagious as were their laughs, and before I knew it Onyx was looking up at me with a smile. He winked at me which caused both of the guards below to turn and look up, when their eyes landed on me the man that was sitting on the ground smiled and shoved his elbow into Onyx's ribs gently in a teasing manner. Onyx's smile widened and before he could grab the guard, the guard had already jumped back as he laughed. I laughed as I watched the scene below me unfold, I was twenty three years old and never seen any of the guards act like this before, all my life they were these emotionless vessels that followed me around. No matter how hard I used to try to get them to smile, to talk to them, they never opened up. All but one, years ago, but when my father found out I never saw him again.
Onyx and the guard pushed each other around, and when Onyx wrapped his bicep around the other mans throat and slightly tightened, he tapped his arm with a smile. Onyx let go of him and I watched as he threw his hands up into a surrendered pose towards Onyx with a smile. I unlocked my window and pushed the two doors outwards to open them and sat down on the cushioned covered bench that rest below it.
"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your long hair!" Yelled the guard that was just teasing Onyx, I laughed at him as I looked down at them.
"I'm afraid my hair isn't long enough for you to climb!" I shouted back as I swooped my hair over onto my right shoulder to show them. My hair stopped right below my ribs, it was long but certainly not that long. The men just laughed as they stared up at me.
"Excuse him, this is Warren and Pepper," Onyx introduced, he pointed at the guard who was teasing him first, and then the guard who was leaning up against the wall, who was now standing next to both of them.
"It's nice to finally meet you," Warren smiled, Pepper just gave me a nod of recognition.
"Finally? Am I really still the talk of the pack?"
"As a matter of fact, you are. But I also never hear about anything else but you from this guy right here since he started working closely with the Alpha," Warren explained as he slung his arm around a blushing Onyx, "I can't say I blame him though."
My face heated up some as I looked down at my hands with a smile, I glanced up to look at Onyx who was watching my every reaction, like he was trying to figure something out. So he was talking about me to people, and by their reactions I'm assuming about good things. I wish I had someone to talk to about things that happen to me, all I have is my mother who half the time doesn't understand and only gives me the advice my father would give.
"What are your plans for lunch?" Warren asked and immediately Onyx tensed and tried to quiet his friend.
"I don't have any," I replied honestly.
"Perfect! Meet Onyx this afternoon," he glanced around behind him, "Somewhere out in those woods," he laughed as he shrugged.
"You don't ha-"
"Okay, I will," I agreed as I interrupted Onyx, a mixture of surprise and happiness spread across his face as my words processed for him, his smile grew bigger and bigger and so did mine.
"I'll see you then," He replied as they slowly backed away from my window and towards the hole in the ground. I watched them as they turned around, Onyx with a small pep in his step. I watched as they began talking, when all of a sudden Onyx dramatically grabbed Warren by the face and kissed his forehead, I couldn't help but laugh and Warren pushed him away with a laugh himself.