White. Everything around me was white. Even the sun.
First of all, I had no idea where I was. Secondly, it did look like an empty room with no ceiling. Actually I'm not sure about the second one. Thirdly, repeat all of that.
Glancing around for the millionth time, I hoped to find a way out. You may be thinking why am I not going for the windows and doors, right? If you're not, then I DON'T CARE!
Anyways, you may not believe me but I touched each and every part of the four walls surrounding me but with no luck, I found nothing. And the walls are like 8ft tall! Can you believe it?
Suddenly there was a loud thunder sound which made me shriek before I calmed down my raging breathing and looked up to see that the sky that was a white shade before had now turned into a vivid black color. And...
'Oh my god...' I whispered into the air, my eyes wide as saucers, about to budge out of their eye holes if stretched any further.
A FREAKING RED BALL, MORE LIKE A FIRE BALL WAS HEADING MY WAY WITH A SPEED AS FAST AS A GOOSE, A CHEETAH AND I JUST STOOD FROZEN IN PLACE!!
I started making crying sounds as my hands trembled onto my sides, "I don't want to die this early..." And kept repeating...
And repeating.....
Until....
"WAKEY WAKEY, EGGS AND BAKEY!" I jumped up, startled but the sudden impact didn't do me any good as I fell right off the bed, rolling onto the hard wood floor until I landed on my bed with my legs intertwined with the blanket. Overall, I was in a really, really awkward position. And came the booming laughter of the one and only as my head shot in the direction and I swear I had a whiplash for a moment.
I glared at the devil herself, "What the hell's wrong with you?"
She laughed out more loudly looking like a mad hyena as I gave her a weird face and just stood up slowly and stretched myself which I regretted immediately as pain shot through my lower back and I groaned. I heard the crazy hyena clear her throat, probably to stop herself from laughing anymore and I looked up with squinted eyes still annoyed at her.
"I take it, you're not a morning person, are you?" She said pressing her lips into a tight smile.
"Of course I'm not!" I threw my hands in the air and she chuckled. "Especially this one in particular because someone decided to overthrow me off my bed interrupting my amazing dreams." But then I remembered something. "Wait you actually saved me from the huge fire ball." She gave me a weird face like I had gone mad or something but I chose to ignore her. For now that is.
"But that doesn't mean I don't hate mornings." I finished off with a sweet smile and sidestepped her, walking towards the window and opening it as cool breeze fanned my face, blowing some of my blonde-brown locks in my face which had managed to escape my bun.
From behind me, I heard Jess make a 'Brrrrr!' sound and I looked over at her in confusion to see her shivering from cold as she grabbed my duvet, wrapping it around her tightly.
"I didn't realize it was cold today!" I noticed she was chattering too and frowned.
It wasn't THAT cold actually. Was she sick?
"Are you okay?" I asked in a concerned tone, voicing my thoughts.
"I'm fine, just a bit cold. Could you close the window?" She asked in a small voice hugging the duvet more tighter around her if that was even possible.
As I closed the window I heard her say something, 'Mannn, I could really use some body heat right now.' I smiled and shook my head before moving over to sit beside her as she lowered the duvet.
I sighed feeling the exhaustion from yesterday night's events weigh me down. I'd told Jess that we should finish unpacking and setting up the room since classes start from today and we won't get any time then.
But she'd be like, 'Come on Raven, we won't get any homework on our first day.'
"You don't know! First days are usually hell and we'd both be tired by the end of first day and then we'll have to wait for the weekend to come which I might tell you is 4 days away, you know. 4 days!" I said emphasizing on '4 days' to get my point across and throwing my hands in the air every time I'd finish a sentence.
All in all, you should know one thing that I'm a very and I mean very persuasive person. So, of course I won in the end despite her whining ever now and then about 'why are we even doing this right now?' and that 'we should be partying our last day of freedom!!'. So we spent the whole night setting up our things, well not the whole night actually. I think it was about 12 or 1 or somewhere in between by the time we both went to bed.
A thought stroke making me edge out of my thoughts and I yawned, "What time is it?"
I saw her jerk her head in various directions from my peripheral vision until it landed on a specific object. I followed her gaze to see a clock on her right stand and almost had a heart attack. I mean, almost.
"6.30 a.m." I narrowed my eyes at her as she shrugged in response as if it was no big deal and that's when it clicked.
To say I was beyond furious was an understatement. I felt mad, hot. Although at the same time I felt an eerie feeling of calm, as if it was okay to be woken up at 6.30 like that. It felt normal and I don't know why.
I shook my head to clear up those thoughts from my mind. Sometimes I'm too good for my good and I can't let that happen. So I focused on the part where I just felt like killing Jess right now. I'd even do it if not for our recently developed friendship. Why can't luck ever be by my side?
"You do know that classes start at 8 right?" I forced myself to remain calm and not lash out on her like a mad woman. You do remember about my anger issues, right?
"Yeah." She said in a duh! tone and then looked raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at me not like my unshaped ones. "So?"
"So... Why did you wake me up this early when I could have gotten some more beauty SLEEP!" I shouted the last word at her as she backed away a bit in case I'd spit on her accidentally. Hey, I'm not that gross!
"You don't wanna be late for your first day. Besides, waking up early means you can do everything easily and not rush to get everything at the last moment." Again she told me in a duh! tone as if I should have known this already.
I sighed and rubbed my cheeks with my palms before dragging them down until I was cupping my face, "Jess, I'm not a morning person and I usually wake up half an hour before classes or most probably an hour which is nearly in rare cases."
She stared at me for a moment probably trying to decipher the meaning behind my words when realization dawned on her as her eyebrows shot up to the sky, "Oh my god! I'm really sorry Eve. I'm a morning person and I saw you were sleeping a-and I didn't want you to get late on your first day so I thought I'd wake you up. I literally had no idea that y-" I held up a hand to stop her rant which I don't think she realized since she looked at me with eyes as wide as saucers and a huge invisible sorry imprinted on her face. I smiled at her.
"I get it Jess, I get it. I didn't ask for any explanations. I was just telling you that so you'd keep in mind next time, not to get your justifications." She remained silent.
So, I was taken aback when she pulled me into a tight hug, squeezing me until I was sure that I was gonna die today but I dare not complain. I knew better than to worry about my tortures right now so I just hugged her back as tightly until she pulled away with a huge smile on her face and tears brimming in her eyes. One even managed to slip out but she quickly rubbed it away as if afraid to cry in front of me and gave me a wider smile.
"Oh Eve, I don't know how I got so lucky to have you as my friend..." She trailed off as a faraway look came in her eyes.
'Must be something good you'd have done in the past.' I murmured to myself and shrugged, looking out the window that showed the empty streets.
"Yeah, must be that." I jerked my head towards her in shock. Did I mention she wasn't supposed to hear that? No? No.
"You know we weren't always like that." She suddenly blurted out and snickered while focusing on the window. It felt as if she wasn't really telling me all this...
"When dad was around, mom wasn't like she is now at all. I was my dad's favorite and we were all a happy family. There were times when our mom and dad used to fight but I always thought it wasn't that serious. Until one day, he just..... left out of the blue." Her eyes turned glassy as she sniffed and lowered her head while I just studied her quietly, not really wanting to interrupt. She murmured a 'sorry' before continuing her story again. Ahh, so she did knew I was listening.
"There was no goodbye, no nothing at all. I was broken. I locked myself up for a whole week, not eating, drinking. My mom even gave up on me after 2 days. Surprising right?" She half chuckled with silent tears running down her face which she immediately wiped away as if to stop herself from crying. I don't why but I suddenly felt the urge to give this girl in front of me a tight hug, pat her back and tell her that everything would be okay soon which was unlike of me since I was not the type to hug others.
"But my brother's didn't. They were there every minute outside, shouting, screaming at me to open the door. They even blackmailed to break it down but I knew they won't do it since they knew how much I loved my door." She chuckled silently, a small smile on her face from what I'm guessing must be some good memory and then suddenly her face turned darker.
"A week later, we received a package from him. It was a letter for me and.... divorce papers. Since that day, my mom started hating me. My brother's too. She married my step dad an year later. He was good to everyone but just me. They treated me like shit, made me feel like I didn't belong like I don't deserve to live. I wish my dad was here. I wish he'd taken me with him. I just....I miss him. So much.." And she broke down. I sighed.
"Come here sweetie.." I wrapped my arms around her pulling her into a tight hug as she shuffled closer to me and wrapped her arms as tightly around me as before. But this time, I didn't feel like I was gonna suffocate.
"It's not my fault I was closer to him than everyone else. It's not my fault he divorced her. It's not my fault he sent a letter for me only. Then why do they hate me?!" She sobbed even louder as I carried on patting her back and rubbing on smooth circles. Mom used to say that making circular motions with your hands on someone's back or hands comforts them in an odd sort of way.
"Jess... It's not your fault. Instead nothing is your fault. Loving your parents is not wrong and what you did wasn't wrong either. If they think you're wrong then believe me, they never were your family. I think I can see why your dad divorced your mom and what type of a person she is." I pulled away slightly so I'd get a good look at her face while keeping my hands on her shoulders.
"Look Jess, we humans are greedy and full of jealousy. We want all the pleasures and luxuries to ourselves. We think that money, fame and looks are everything. And without them, a person is nothing. Your mom, I don't know for sure if its true but she looks like the kind of person who is absorbed into this worldly life and only seeks her benefit. She looks the kind of person who doesn't give a damn about her own blood and family." Jess looked up at me with a shocked face so I quickly rushed to say. "This is just what I came up with as a description of your mom. I'm not really the kind of person to judge others. And besides, who am I to do so? But anyways, please don't take it the negative way. I just felt like I should share it with you."
Stared. She just stared. And stared. Until I was sure she's planning on killing me now and that I should confront her but.... I was surprised again when I felt myself being squeezed into a tight bone crashing hug. Wait, isn't that the 3rd hug of my day? Wow, I need to slow down the hugs and shrugs.
"Eve, you know dad used to say the same thing when he was around just not directly aimed at my mom but his words were the same. I never figured it out until I heard the same thing from you and everything dad said came back to me and the pieces finally clicked into place." She pulled away abruptly with her hands on my shoulders.
"Oh Eve, you have no idea how much you just helped me right now. I can't thank you enough. You're.... You're a blessing, lucky to have and hard to find!" I looked away from her.
'Lucky to have and hard to find.' That's what she said. Then why didn't my father thought so?
'You're.... You're a blessing.' Am I? Then why didn't my father love me enough?
I could feel tears prick my eyes, threatening to fall so I just rubbed my eyes and put on a tired face before looking at Alicia who was looking at me with a frown and I jumped, my hand immediately flying to my chest.
I looked at Alicia with wide eyes, panting hard to see her lips pressed in a tight line and eyes holding humor. My own narrowed at her expression.
"You nearly gave me a heart attack and here you're laughing! What kind of a friend are you??!" I whisper-shouted at her and she burst out laughing, her eyes cringing at the sides which I noticed happening whenever she laughed too hard.
I narrowed my eyes a bit more.
I put my hands on my hips.
I narrowed my eyes a bit more until they looked like slits.
Luckily, she noticed my movements, "Okay.... Give me a minute.... Ohmygosh!!..... Ahahhahaahhaha..."
Alright so I'll just elaborate what happened for the next 2 minutes. Lots of 'ohmygosh', 'ahhahah', 'gimme a minute' and 'I'm sooo sorry'. Repeat.
She gasped for air with a few chuckles until she finally calmed down and I continued glaring.
And then she froze and I raised an eyebrow at her which she of course didn't notice. Instead she started looking around the room like a frantic animal until they landed on something. I followed her direction but before I could see what she saw I heard a loud shriek, followed by a large thud then loud curses and finally the sound of a door being pulled open from its place and then BAM!
I just stood for a second, thinking about what just happened. And then SNAP!
I looked over in the direction Alicia was looking earlier and found the alarm clock which was showing...
Oh no!
No, no, no, no!!
Bitch, I'm gonna kill her!
"OPEN THE DOOR OR I SWEAR I'M GONNA BREAK IT DOWN!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs while furiously knocking on the bathroom door and kicking and well whatever physical force I could use.
"No! I'm busy!" I knocked more furiously and started punching on the door.
Oh god, please don't let her be naked if this door breaks down!
"Get lost Eve! You don't need to break down the door! Just give me 5 mins." I looked back at the clock and flinched. Nop. Definitely not.
"I DON'T HAVE 5 MINUTES! ARGHHH! FUCK U!" And I quickly grabbed an outfit from my bag before marching out the place all the while ignoring the protests of Jess who was screaming her butts out at me from inside. For someone who was so small, she did have a loud voice.
Getting out, I walked towards the room that was 3 doors away from mine and in the same line as ours. I was about to knock when I froze as millions of thoughts struck me with my fist hung in mid-air.
What if he's sleeping?
What if he doesn't open?
What if I disturb him?
What if his ROOMMATE opens the door?!
The last one, I think you all can guess, hit me the most.
I shook my head to clear up the negative thoughts and knocked on the door.
Silence.
And then..
Whispers.
Shuffling.
Footsteps.
And..
"Oh, Raven." It was Kieran. But what surprised me most was that he looked kinda relieved although I didn't show it on my face but just stood there studying him.
"What brings you here?"
"Um, did I interrupt you?" It was the first thing that came to my mind as he asked the question and I just couldn't stop myself. Besides, it was being polite.
Not nearly happy with my politeness, I tried looking beyond his tall form to keep down my curiosity but to my no luck, I found nothing as he blocked everything beyond him and I just couldn't go standing on my tiptoes just to spy on him. Now that would be embarrassing.
"Of course not! Why would you say that?" He said it too quickly. The only thing that I noticed despite his raised eyebrow and tilted head and I just frowned. Very slightly so that it wasn't noticeable until you'd look very closely.
"No reason." I shrugged, making the move smooth. "Anyways, um, I was wondering if I could use your bathroom?" I tried my best to make my voice casual too but I don't think it worked much seeing his raised eyebrows.
He was silent for a minute. Or maybe two but I just waited patiently. After all, I couldn't do much since I was the one in need of a favor right now.
And then he said, "Sure, just be fast." And then he looked away from me but I didn't miss the annoyed look in his eyes before he muttered something like, ".... won't be happy seeing you here."
James or was it Jack? I couldn't quite decipher.
"Sorry?" I murmured with a confused look as if I thought he'd just told me something and I missed it out.
His eyes widened slightly in surprise before he composed himself and gave me a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, shaking his head.
"Nothing. You wanted to use the bathroom?" He pointed behind him, making space for me to go in and I just stood there studying him for a minute. I think I mentioned before that Kieran was easy to read, write? I'm gonna deny that right now. He isn't easy to read at all. He can't be read at all instead. He's a blank mask. He doesn't portray his emotions. His eyes are like blank canvases. No matter how hard you try to figure them out, you can't, you just can't.
I was wrong. I can't read him and the impact that he's a total stranger to me hit me hard in the gut like a flying soccer ball lunged directly at me. But I just kept my face impassive and walked towards the bathroom, passing a sleeping Jamie, Jack whoever he was on my way and locked the door as I entered the door.
All the while, the only thing that occupied my thoughts was Kieran. And believe me when I say that, for me, showers are my perfect concerts and catwalk ramps. So it was kinda all confusing and I couldn't focus much.