I was so grateful to be back in the comfort of my dorm and out of all the awkwardness that I just went through not even 5 minutes ago. How I even survived all of that was beyond me! Even Jess felt a little bad for me.
It was embarrassing. I'm never going to Kieran's room again even if it means not getting a shower for the day.
Deep breaths, Raven. Deep breaths.
Okay, so it went like this. I just got out of the bathroom, my mind wandering all the way back to the awkward conversation that I had with Kieran. I was hoping he'd be asleep so I could just tiptoe out of his room but when was luck with me?
Kieran was pacing right outside his room as if waiting for me. Upon seeing me, he stopped and just stared at me. His eyes roaming all over my body before onto my legs. For some reason I felt uncomfortable under his gaze.
Not able to take the awkwardness anymore, I cleared my throat making Kieran jump at the action as his eyes shot up to my face, his expression changing from surprise to shocked to guilty and then... blank.
"Sorry, I was just worried about James catching you using our bathroom." I was too concentrated on watching his actions that I almost missed what he said. Keyword: almost.
So the name's James!
"Is that a problem?" I suddenly asked, my tone sharper than I intended it to be. Even Kieran eyes widened at it but he quickly masked it. Too bad I already caught it.
"No! Of course not, why would you think that?" He said it almost quickly while shaking his head like a mad man. I think he realized it too since I saw eyes widen just a centimeter or less.
He sighed, "I'm sorry, Raven. It's just I'm not really doing anything right today and I'm sorry for.... this.... well, you know what." He threw his hands in the air in exasperation.
For a minute I felt bad for him, but just as the feeling had come, it was gone.
I studied him with narrowed eyes for a minute or more, not really knowing how to answer.
Finally I looked away from him before murmuring a small 'It's okay.' All the while feeling his intense gaze on me.
After that it was silent, none of us speaking anything and the tension in the room seemed to grow more and more by each second.
I felt sophisticated. I couldn't breath and I just wanted to get out of that room and breath in the fresh air to calm the bundle of nerves that were taking up on me. But my legs felt frozen in place, as if I couldn't move. As if I was glued to the spot.
And besides, Kieran too didn't make any effort for me to move. Yet.
He cleared his throat after what felt like forever and I breathed out a sigh of relief. I think he noticed that as he looked up at me confused and I just gave him a small smile in return which he gladly returned. And just like that, the atmosphere wasn't tense anymore.
I cleared my throat, "I should get going. Thanks for letting me use the bathroom."
He let out a small chuckle that sounded dry to my ears and I think he noticed it too and cleared his throat.
"Anytime." And with that I turned around and left, not really wanting to look back in fear of that he'd capture me with his eyes again and then I'd just feel more awkward than before. Which clearly wasn't something I'd like.
As soon as I stepped out I dare breath in the air, almost feeling gracious for being out.
"Raven if you keep pacing around like that then I'm sure we're gonna be late on our first class!" Alicia shouted at me for the billionth time from somewhere but I ignored her and kept on pacing. I think I'm just gonna skip class today...
"NO, YOU'RE NOT! You're coming with me whether you like it or not or I'm dragging you outta here myself!" I cringed at the sudden outburst and silently cursed myself.
"Did I say that out loud?" I stopped and looked around the room, searching for her when I saw her crouching right beside the bathroom door, surrounded in a bunch of cardboard boxes. Wait, where did all those come from? Didn't we unpack all the boxes last night?
"Yes, you did." I saw her look up at me briefly and I felt my frown deepen, not knowing what to do, I sighed.
"Come on Alicia, it's first day. Have some pity on me!" I begged her but she never once looked up although I knew she heard me because I heard her scoff loudly, clearly intended for me to hear, from behind.
"Pity is for the weak." She looked up with her eyes narrowed, "And by now, I have figured how weak you are."
She concentrated back on her work while I just gave out an annoyed sigh.
"Are you for real?" I murmured to myself but silently hoping that she'd hear it.
"Yup, 100% real. I could punch you if you want?" She murmured sarcastically, her voice muffled because of all the cardboard boxes around her. She was literally half inside them, I could only see her legs now.
"No, thank you." I murmured back and continued pacing.
It was silent for a while, a comfortable one except the sound of Alicia searching the boxes and my soft footsteps on the floor.
"You know you'd keep thinking about it if you stay locked up in this room." I heard her say slowly and paused.
"You know that right?" From the corner of my eye, I saw her tilt her head as if inspecting me.
"Of course." I sighed, finally giving in.
"You know what? You're right." I moved over towards my bed, crouching down so I'd level with the bed.
"Of course I am." I heard her say from somewhere behind me and rolled my eyes as I reached for the large suitcase in front of me, pulling it out from under the bed.
I opened it, going through the disaster inside that I called my clothes. I had literally thrown everything inside it. Ughhh, that's what happens when you don't pack your clothes in an organized way.
Now how am I supposed to find something in it????!
I'm just gonna die...
"Aha!" I exclaimed in excitement as I found the perfect outfit for my day, behind me I could hear Alicia murmuring something under her breath but I chose to ignore her, not wanting to ruin my day any further. On the other hand, I was ignoring her quiet a lot today. Maybe she was right about not hanging with her...
But I did enjoy her company. Besides I had no friends other than her except Kieran and I'm not really sure I want face him today. Afraid of facing that awkwardness again.
I quickly shut the bag, pushing it back under the bed and headed for the washroom.
"How long are you going to be?" I stopped midway opening the door upon hearing Alicia's voice and slightly turned my body to the right.
"Probably 5." I opened the door and went in, shutting the door behind me.
Quickly changing into my blue jeans and an off shoulder top, I paired the outfit with brown strappy sandals with my locket hanging down my neck and reaching just above my chest. It was a simple curb chain with two angel wings attached to it at the end, one silver and one golden.
Honestly, I found it strange and when I'd asked my mother about it, she'd replied, 'Whenever I'm not there, these angels will take care of you.' I'd just looked at her confused and she'd smiled back at me.
No, it wasn't a gift if that's what you're wondering. And don't ask me where it came from then cause I myself don't know the answer for that.
I shook my head to clear up those memories. I really didn't wanted to think about them because I knew I'd end up being sad if I do think about them. My last encounter with my parents was not something I was really excited about.
I'd left my hair open today which were hanging just above my hips, straight as a pin. The blonde in them making my hair shiny. For just a second I considered curling my hair in light waves but then decided against it. I really didn't have that much time to spare, which reminds me, I need to do my makeup too! Oh god..
I ran out of the washroom, heading straight towards my bedside table and grabbed the large red pouch lying lonely on it. I ignored Alicia's curious glances behind me and ran back to the washroom and shut the door with a loud thump. I was sure I would have literally killed it if I'd applied more force which was a bit too cruel for me even.
I opened the pouch in a rush and ruffled through it, searching for the things I needed. I applied some face cream, mascara and a little blush. Finishing off my makeup with my nude pink lipstick. I'd love to put on some eyeliner but I never seem to get it right and I just don't know why! So I figured eyeliner wasn't for me.
I looked at my reflection in the mirror before stuffing away everything inside my pouch and walking out of the washroom.
"You finally done?" Alicia's tired voice was the first thing I heard. I looked around to see her lying on her bed in an awkward position. Okay well too awkward that I'd literally think she was having sex if not for someone laying on top of her. Curse my dirty mind. Ughh.
"I didn't take that long." I replied back to her and placed the pouch back onto the bedside table and turned to face Jess who jumped up from the bed at my reply and I took a step back in surprise.
"That long??! Are you serious?! I literally thought you were sleeping in there!" She exclaimed and threw her arms up in the air and I backed up a bit again.
"You can't sleep in a washroom..." I murmured too quietly, hoping she won't hear it and when she just moved away from me, silently cursing at me, I breathed out a sigh of relief and picked up my knapsack which thank god I had already packed last night.
I looked up at Alicia to find her back beside the boxes and frowned.
"What are you even looking for?" I asked and walked up to her, trying to find whatever she was looking for even when I knew nothing about it. Hey, I like to help my friends!
"My mobile! I can't find it since the morning." She briefly looked back at me and then continued her search.
"Where did you last kept it?" I inquired and crouched down beside her, looking inside the boxes too.
"I just remember I kept it on the bedside table last night. I didn't even picked it up!" Her voice came out muffled since her head was half inside the box and I chuckled quietly. Too bad, she heard it.
"What are you laughing at?" She demanded of me, now giving me her full attention while I just pressed my lips tight and raised my hands in surrender.
"Nothing." I stood up and walked up to our beds, searching the bedside table for her phone.
I opened the drawers, removed everything and checked, searched mine too but it was all empty. And then my gaze landed on her bed. I picked up her pillow and instantly felt something inside it and frowned. My head snaked inside the sheet and grabbed the metal device that was inside it, also known as Alicia's phone.
"There you go!" I called out to Alicia and walked over to her. She looked up at me in confusion first but as her eyes landed on her baby, I saw her expression change to a more happy one. She shot up from the ground and ran up to me and I panicked, debating on whether I should back away but didn't get the chance since she quickly caught up to me and snatched yeah literally snatched her mobile from me as if I was about to steal it and stood inspecting it.
"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you soooo much Raven! I love you, your the best!!" And I think you what happened next.
"It's okay, Alicia. Really, you can let me go now..." I blurted out, hoping she'd hear me and I think she did cause she pulled away but her arms still rested on my shoulders and her face split into a huge grin.
"Thank you so much Raven, you don't know how much this means to me." She murmured the last words and I frowned but chose not to say anything. For now, at least.
"Your welcome. So, can we leave now?" I asked her and she got out of her trance and instantly panicked.
"Oh shit!! I haven't even packed yet.." And her cursing went on as she ran around the room like a maniac, looking for her things which were I guess everywhere and I just stood against the wall, watching her with amusement. It was a funny sight truth be told.
She took no notice of me even when I let out a few chuckles which were loud enough for her to hear. Add it up with my loud laugh when she slipped right beside her bed, landing on the ground with a loud thump and let out a huge 'OW!' It was so funny that even when she had stood up from the floor, I just couldn't stop myself from laughing and her cute scowl wasn't helping matters either.
Finally what seemed like hours to me, probably must be 5 minutes, Jess finished packing and I checked the clock to see that we still had time left which made me breath out in relief first because I was really thinking that we're probably late. Scratch that, fashionably late.
"Oh god.... that... was... something..." Jess let out in strangled breaths as she gasped for air, looking funny as hell and I had to keep firm control on myself from laughing at her. Though every time she'd let out another gasping breath, I'd have to press my lips tight from bursting out laughing which was just seconds away from occurring. I mean, she did look like a dying dog. That was rude though..
After what seemed like forever, I cleared my throat and focused on the task ahead.
"So... you ready to go?" I gained Alicia's attention by asking it.
She looks over at me in confusion at first probably thinking what I'm talking about when suddenly I see her face turn into realization before she speaks.
"Oh yeah, let's go!" She beams enthusiastically, grabbing her bag before following Raven out the door.
We'd already decided beforehand that each of us will be keeping our keys turn by turn, that is one day me and the other Alicia. So today was my turn and I wasn't so happy about it.
I was still not too familiar with all the corridors and passages so I was lucky to have Jess with me. She says she already toured the whole place.
"I'm soooo excited!! I can't wait to begin my first day.. I've heard that first days are very exciting since all the teachers do is get to know their students and...." I tuned out of her excitement, for once focusing on the red door that we passed, beneath which lay probably Kieran and what was the guy's name???
Ugh forgive me but I'm not really good at remembering names. Kieran and Alicia are an exception.
All of a sudden, the door and the walls separating me from Kieran vanished. Time seized to a stop. Everything around me disappeared. Like I was the only person in the room.
And just like that I heard two voices. Deep and quiet.
"What do you mean she was here??" I looked up at the voice, trying desperately to search for the source and just like that my eyes landed on the view in front of me and unconsciously widened on their own accord.
The scene in front of me stunned me actually. Kieran and James were in front of me. Seemingly the only people I could see and hear. They looked real and on the contrary, they didn't. As if some pieces of my imagination.
"James, she wanted to use the bathroom and you were sleeping and it was too early for you to even wake up so I allowed her to use it." Marcus said with an edge to his voice as if he'd blow up any second.
Aside from his sudden anger, I was surprised to know they were talking about me!!
"Oh. Okay....?" James said groggily, his voice carrying the last of his sleep.
"You're okay with it?" Kieran asked him with a worried tone, his anger pushed aside for the time being.
Why would he be not okay with me taking a shower in their bathroom? It wasn't like I was doing something wrong.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" James looked at him with a weird face as if Kieran had just told him that he liked pineapple on pizza.
I don't know about you but I surely don't like pineapple with pizza. I mean, how could you even eat sweet and spice together? It sounds gross!
I had the sudden urge to know if this was real. The urge was to strong to ignore and I couldn't control myself. Well it wouldn't hurt checking right?
So I took a step towards them and just like that the fog cleared, my senses were back with me and I could clearly hear Alicia panicking beside me.
"Raven! Raven!!! Are you even listening??? Hellooo? Evangeline?!?!?!" And just like that she was in front of me, waving her hand in my vision like an overly enthusiastic bunny. It annoyed me for a second.
"I'm here, Alicia." I told her but my mind wandered off to what just happened seconds ago. I turned my head in the direction of his door and was shocked to see that the wall was back as it was before as well as the walls.
Then what was that?
"You okay? You look kinda... pale..." I forced my attention back on Jess and the worried expression on her face almost made me melt right there and then.
I just stared at her for a minute not really knowing what to say or wanting to for that matter. And I was thankful for ALicia's patience.
"Raven?" I looked back at her with a confused frown.
"You okay, right?" She tilted her head as if silently studying me.
"Of course." I gave her a small smile, enough to erase her worry when my mind was all jumbled up.
"Sure?" She asked frowning not really impressed by my answer.
I gave her a nod with a small smile and she studied me for a minute before nodding back and then stated walking again.
"So as I was saying.." I tuned out again not really able to focus on what she was saying since my mind was wandering off to its own.
Only one thought occupying all... What was that?