After the deep moaning and romance, Betty let go and fell flat on the floor
I was on the bed sobbing when my phone started ringing repeatedly
I knew it was my host calling but I couldn't pick
What was I going to tell him? Where would I start from and how would I end the story?
As I sat on th bed watching Betty dressed up, gradually, the love I had for her began to fade and hate flushed in to fill the space
I felt so empty and light. I could weigh zero by the way felt
Soon, she was done dressing up and returned back to bed, fell faced down ashamed to look into the heaven
I could hear her breathing heavily
"Love, we have sinned. We went beyond our boundaries
Even though you didn't go into me, it was the same. We did everything else that could be done
Ah, Lord please forgive us" she said
I remained motionless and speechless as my thoughts had gone very far
I could hear the devil mocking and my flesh rejoicing but the voice of my master was quenched
The sensation I had returned back with from the mountain was no longer there
"Love, it is time. Are you not going to the meeting again" she said
"You expect me to go? After all we have done? What should I go and stand before the people of God to do?" I questioned trying not to hurt her
"I feel you should go. The Lord has forgiven you and I. The people will be waiting. Just go and do what you can do. I will be at home praying with you." She said
Ah, her words felt consoling and I decided to go to the meeting
I stood up still feeling guilty and replied my host's call telling him that something had held me back but I was on my way
If only my host was aware of the said thing that had held me back, he would have cancelled my preaching engagement that night
But not knowing, he consoled me over what it might be and told me that we would meet in Church
I dressed up and soon was in church where the congregation gathered
There were all manners of sicknesses and diseases
The crippled, the blind, the deaf and dump, the bedridden and the insaned people all alike were gathered waiting for my God to use me to heal them
This won't be a problem if I had not messed myself before attending the meeting but now I was very much afraid
My face was very well hiding what was ongoing in my heart
I was all smiling and glaring but deep down I was weeping
What if the devil exposes me tonight. "O Lord help me. Please show me mercy and for the sake of these people use me...." I prayed within fervently
The choir ministered and a heavily anointed Prophet was also invited to lead prayers and he did excellently well
Once he was done, my host climbed the altar and began to praise me here and there torturing my soul the way
As he was calling me big big names, I was lowering my head the more and worshiping God
Finally he was done and invited me to the altar
As soon as I climbed up, my eyes opened and I began to see things clearly
The first miracle that night was of a young man who was under the demonic oppression of darkness
He got delivered that night and countless other miracles happened
In my entire years in ministry, that was one of the days, the Lord used me like none other
What I couldn't tell was if it was God's presence with me or the gift manifesting
Deliverances where everywhere
I was being afraid should a demon speak up and expose me but all were only shouting and screaming
The service closed and I came from there full of thoughts to my friend's
"I fornicated! How on earth did the Lord used me?" My heart wondered
Deep down I had not forgiven myself. The bitterness of the sin I had committed hunted me and was driving me insane
But somehow the sharing of grace in the meeting was what made me happy. At least my sin was not exposed
When I went home from my friends place to check on Betty early morning, it was only then I realized that the devil had sown a seed of IMMORALITY in me
The weird emotional and romantic arrest I had for her the previous night returned
The same force began to compel me again
I knew I was in trouble and in need of help otherwise I was fast draining down the pit of hell as its demons hungered to have me