I was in the office on Saturday evening overseeing the workers as they prepared boisterously for "Eternal Revival meeting" a monthly program scheduled to hold the evening of the following day for the month
As i moved from unit to unit, tears occasionally slipped through my eyes
My aids were quick to ask why I was crying but I only told them seeing the passion of every one committed into the work made me cry
This was partially true
I was weeping because of how much the Lord had blessed me in ministry yet I had fallen to fleshy pleasure
The love the people had for me was immeasurable. This could be seen in their dedication towards the work of ministry commissioned into my hands
I was afraid that soon, what I was seeing may become a desolation caused by my hands
I quickly ran into my office issuing a decree that I should be left alone. I fell on my knees crying bitterly
I wished to curse Betty in my heart but why should I lay on the shoulder of another the blame which I owe
I vowed to take responsibility for any illicit act I may find myself in, and that's exactly what I was known for
As I was in my office pondering over my fate and what I had encountered with my spiritual father, I heard a car drove in
Soon I heard a woman forcing herself against my aids, demanding to see me
"Apostle don't want to see anybody now! Can't you hear, Deaconess Felicia?" one of the aid pleaded
"Ah, Deaconess Felicia!" I muttered to myself. She was a close confidant and i was happy hearing she had come to see me
She was one of my ministry deacons - she had been a strong pillar of the ministry spiritually and financially
At least I was going to share somethings to her and see how she could join me in prayer
I quickly placed a call to one of the aid and asked that Deaconess Felicia be granted access
A knock came through to my door soon and my personal assistant escorted her in with her daughter
Immediately I saw her with her daughter, I knew something was wrong somewhere
My aid closed the door behind us and left while Deaconess Felicia sat leaving her daughter standing with a worrisome countenance
"Deaconess Felicia, is everything alright?" I asked with curiosity
"Apostle! see your daughter here. Ask her! This girl wants to finish me!" She turns to her daughter "won't you talk? Open your mouth and tell Apostle what you have done. Talk before I break your head into two" she yelled at her daughter who was now crying
I was confused! What could be the problem
"Abigail!" I called out on her daughter. "what is the problem?
She only stared at me sobbing without saying a word
I turned to Deaconess Felicia to help me out
"Apostle! Your daughter is pregnant!"
"Pregnant?" My eyes turned to Abigail as I questioned
"Yesterday I cought Abigail making out with one stupid boy in my own house. In my own house!" She repeated
"Jesus!!" I shouted out of shock
"I have warned this girl to stay away from that boy, only to catch them making out yesterday in my own house. If not that I came home from office, I won't have caught them red handed. I kept this to myself until today when I realized that Abigail is pregnant"
"Jesus Christ!!" I shouted again
"This is beyond me my Apostle. His father seems not to bothered. Please help me. I don't know what to do." Deaconess Felicia cried wiping out tears with the edge of her wrapper
I could see the agony of a mother in her tears and feeling the pain of having your own child go against your teachings and moral up-bringing
I have known Deaconess Felicia too well as a woman who trains up her children in moral uprightness
The rest of her children were doing well except for Abigail
I lay back in my chair defeated totally
"Immorality, how do you find your way into the church?" I questioned in my heart rocking my chair and looking into the heavens in search of an answer
I cleared my throat not knowing what to say. My situation was worse to that of Abigail
She was only a sheep and I a shepherd who had fallen defeated to what was defeating her
I was cold and broken in shame
"Deaconess Felicia, please excuse us." I pleaded
She pulled the seat back and left the office
With determination in my spirit, body and soul, I didn't yell at Abigail
I asked her to sit down and brought her a glass of water
She was shocked with my expression
After taken the water, I spoke to her like a father and prayed a simple prayer with her
That was the transforming point of Abigail
I could see the repentance in her while I prayed a simple prayer with her out of deep love and compassion
When I was done, I called Deaconess Felicia in and counseled her
The two went home happily and she would testify of Abigail's transformation onward
I felt at peace and happy for the first time in many days
I wished same could happen to me
If it were before, I would have handled the situation differently; yelling at her like her mother did and condemning her but this time around the approach was different because I was also a victim to what she was facing
Was God using this to break and mold me into a better minister?
It was a question I asked in my office that day as I watched through the window Deaconess Felicia and her daughter drove home
[We will be here again tomorrow. It will also interest you to know what became of Abigail in the subsequent chapters. Stay tuned]