Mourgent could see the looks Zazriel's former pack was giving her when he made the anouncement she was to be respected as his mate. Some were happy for her while others shook their heads and gave glares towards her, as if they didn't think she was capable, as if they though she was too weak.
Zazriel was shy at being in front of all their pack mates, but she glowed with delight at hearing Mourgent describing her as strong and intelligent. It was certainly a change from when she was in her own pack.
As most of the pack cheered, the few that didn't spoke amongst themselves, separate from everyone else. They didn't even pretend. Mourgent memorized each face and made a mental note to keep an eye on them and question their loyalties. When he was finished, he led Zazriel outside and sat down on the grass. She came out of her chair and sat with him, leaning back on her hands. They gazed up at the clear sky and listened to their pack buzzing around them.
After about ten minutes of blissful silence between them, he turned to her. "Zazriel, how do you feel about having a meeting with my patrol members tomorrow night?"
"I don't mind."
"It would give you a chance to see how we run patrol and understand tactics." He paused and she smiled, again with sincerety. He put a hand up and cupped her cheek. "You have a beautiful smile."
She blushed and looked away. Before he could say anything else, Zelda came up and bowed her head to him and turned to Zazriel. "Luna, we would like you to come with us to go shopping."
"Who is we?" Zazriel asked suspiciously.
"Me and a few other females."
Zazriel frowned and Mourgent made her look at him. "We have a deal."
"I don't shop."
"Just go. You don't have to do anything. Females in most packs always invite their Lunas to events as a way of bonding. It's the same with males and the Alpha."
Zazriel sighed. "Fine."
Zelda clapped her hands. "We leave in an hour."
After the female left, Zazriel scowled. Mourgent chuckled and laid back with his hands under his head. "Relax, Zazriel. They won't force you to buy anything if you aren't willing."
"It's not that." She picked grass and threw the stems away. "I don't fit in."
"The females in this pack have many things they like. It's likely that it won't just be shopping but a little bit of whatever they like to do."
"Which is what?" Mourgent grinned and shrugged. Zazriel realized she would have to find out on her own. She wasn't sure whether to be scared or excited.
Come to find out a mere three hours later, the females of Mourgent's pack not only liked to shop, but liked to cause mischief wherever they went. The unmated females liked to flirt with the human males and leave them begging. Zazriel was so caught up in the events, that when they returned home, she barely noticed how late it was. She had so much fun and barely remembered her loneliness.
When Mourgent came up to help her into the wheelchair, she didn't protest as he lifted her out of the car. Waving goodbye to the females, Zazriel let Mourgent wheel her into his home. She sat in the kitchen while he finished cooking what smelled like meatloaf and watched. When he put the pan in the oven, he turned to her. "So, I can assume you had fun, right?"
"I did."
"And what do you think about it?"
Zazriel shrugged. "It was different."
"Good or bad?"
"Good."
Mourgent nodded. "I'm glad." There was a moment of silence before he sat beside her and said, "Zazriel--"
"Call me Z."
Surprised, Mourgent gave a short nod. "Z, there was a few of your former pack members who didn't seem happy about my anouncemet this morning."
Zazriel shrugged. "No surprise. I would have been shocked if there hadn't been anyone who rebelled against it."
"Why, though?"
She looked up sharply at him. "You know why."
"I still don't understand. So what if you can't walk or fight like them?"
Zazriel shook her head and began to leave. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Z, I'm not trying to upset you. I'm just trying to help."
She looked at him over her shoulder. "Thanks, but if they don't want me as an Alpha on their own terms, you won't make it any better by saying or doing anything."
"And you're okay with this?"
"No, but what choice do I have?"
"Have you ever challenged them?"
She laughed and spun around to face him. "That didn't matter, Mourgent. It didn't matter if they won or lost. They still believe whatever they like."
"That's wrong."
"That's how it is."
As she left, Mourgent thought about everything she said and everything he saw with those disloyal members who didn't give her the chance to prove herself. He wanted to throw something, but swallowed his rage down and finished dinner.
Twenty minutes later, Zazriel appeared again and said, "Can I go on a run?"
"Do you mind if I join?"
She hesitated. "I would rather run alone."
"Why?"
She shrugged. "Because I like to."
Mourgent sensed she was hiding something but knew she wouldn't reveal what, so he said, "Fine, but be careful. You may go after we eat."
She nodded and wheeled out the door, only taking a bottle of water with her. Mourgent watched her leave, a sense of loss in her heart.
"Alpha, there is a matter I need you to see," Orion said through the pack bond.
Zazriel was in her wolf form, hopping about the forest near her old pack border when she caught sight of tracks. They were large, lupine, but unfamiliar to her. She knew Mourgent had many members of his pack and she wouldn't recognize them all, but these still seemed unlike any she had seen.
A snap of a twig behind her made her yelp and fall onto her rump. She looked over her shoulder and saw a large menacing wolf, black as onyx, eyes blue as electricity. Her nose twitched, and she recognized the intense gaze as Mourgent. He was staring at her with an unblinking gaze.
Instantly, Zazriel scrambled away, ashamed of her form for the first time. She was not what a mate should be, not what a leader should be. She only had her two back legs, only two short front legs, looking like a monster of some kind.
She gave a pathetic whine and ran off, not wanting to see pity on his face. She ran, crossed the river and to where her pack had been burnt to the ground. There, she shifted and put on a long shirt, then sat on the ashy ground and cried.
The news he had given her about her pack mates made her heart break. Oh, she knew not all of them had been faithful to her, but she had hoped their scrutiny wouldn't have been so strong. All her life, she fought for their acceptance. And she failed.
"Zazriel."
She wiped her face and kept her gaze at the ground, not wanting him to see her weakened state. "It must be nice being a strong and powerful leader," she breathed. "Knowing your pack trusts you with their lives."
Mourgent sat beside her and sighed. "You see what they want you to see, Z. You don't see those who do believe in you."
She gave a melancholy laugh. "You must be seeing things, Alpha."
"Jasmine said you saved an infant from perishing in the fire."
"One child," Zazriel hissed. "I lost thirty of my pack. The rest didn't want me as alpha."
Mourgent hummed softly. "One child can make a world of difference. They are the future."
"One child who's pack has been destroyed."
"Look at me." His voice was gentle but firm. Zazriel felt her throat close up, but did as he commanded. She didn't see pity there. She saw curiosity and determination. "How many others offered to go into a burning building to save Melissa's child?"
"None."
"How many others are as devoted to protecting each other as you?"
She shrugged. "Why does it matter?"
"Just like you don't see those who love you, they don't see the effort you put into caring for them."
She sighed and brushed her hair back from her face. "Fine. Then tell me who all are loyal to me."
Mourgent chuckled. "Gatrie, Jasmine, Melissa, Nelis, Dario-"
She held up her hand and smiled. "Okay, I get it."
Mourgent sat back and leaned on his elbows. "Those pack members only agreed to joining my pack because they were worried for you. They told me that you work yourself to exhaustion in order to keep the pack going. They said you take every problem without complaint and find any way possible to help." Zazriel blushed. "As an alpha should."
She fiddled with a sleeve of the shirt she wore and nervously looked back at him, unsure what he would about her deformed wolf. "So, now that you've seen me…" Her voice trailed off, feeling like a coward.
"Z, as I have said before, you have your own way of fighting and surviving. It doesn't define you."
Zazriel relaxed then, hearing the sincerity in his voice. "Okay."
Mourgent smiled. "The next time you get upset, talk to me. If not me, then someone else you may trust."
"I told you I don't do well with socializing."
Mourgent stood and stretched. "Better learn, because I won't let you silk on your own." He bent and picked her up, then began walking back. "Now, we need to discuss something else."
"What's that?"