The end of summer was signaled by the chill in the nights, the morning dew on the grass, and the afternoons still blistering. We watched the sky to see the phases of the moon, preparing for the full moon festival that would take place in the main streets of Miyako. The last chance to say goodbye to the ease of the warmth in the air, and prepare for the depths of the cold that winter would soon bring. It had been a year. So quickly, it had been a year. I could still easily recall the winter in the mountains, the storms that brought snow which soaked to the bone, the darkness that loomed for weeks. But had I not endured it, I would not have earned the Kitsune at my side. With another winter approaching, I couldn't help but wonder what my reward would be at the end.
I never imagined that such happiness could have been afforded to a creature of my caliber, but as we walked slowly through the street, my senses drew every ounce of my attention to the way Mori's fingers interlaced mine, even through the lights from the lanterns, the smells of the meat cooking on the open fires. The sleeve of her kimono was long enough to act as a shroud, hiding our minimal sign of affection from prying eyes. But what did I care? I asked myself, and answered, not enough. I was understanding more and more what it meant to be grateful.
Sayaka walked some paces ahead of us, and I gaze at her as if she was my very own child. I thought nothing of how her emotions ran for me, and I knew I wasn't careful enough when I judged my reserve, but I trusted the depth of her fear. I had washed her hair for her in the bath house, and though I couldn't compare myself to a proper dresser, I had worked to make it beautiful in some way. Her skin was clean of makeup, her simple summer yukata made her plain to look at, and every ounce the emerging Geisha in her was concealed. Watching her back as she wove through the crowded street, time around her seemed to slow to highlight her youth, and I found myself thinking forward to the time when she would tell me she felt herself ready to step out of the title of Maiko. I would wait for the day as I knew it drew near with my breath held, and I would pray to whatever Kami would listen that her suitors would know kindness.
"You look at her like a child." Mori's voice was forever so wistful, dreamlike, and it charmed me to listen to her speak. I recalled the days in the stone shrine in the mountains, how I had elicited such a cry from her as she wept for days when I had blindfolded her.
"She is a child."
"You look at her like your child." The way she had revised herself gave me pause, as if she wanted me to fully understand a concept that I didn't believe in. The only thing left in the world for me at that moment was my gaze fixed on Sayaka's back as she walked, and I could feel my feet no longer, feel my hand in Mori's grip no longer.
"I had already begun to wonder what the day would be like when she is auctioned off to earn her title as Geisha."
Her hands travelled up my arm, her head coming rest against my shoulder. I felt the peace she was experiencing then, just being close to me, and I too felt peace at the thought that I could provide her comfort. "My Seishin. That is a fatherly outlook."
"I have done everything in my power to keep her pure. To make sure she wouldn't take the same path that I did at her age. I worry that she will."
"You can't keep guard of her forever. You've taught her well. Now you have to trust her." Trust was a word I couldn't easily define, having grown accustomed to experiencing a variety of definitions. I wasn't sure where to begin, what was genuine, and I couldn't fathom teaching a concept that I had no understanding of to a child in my care. With such confusion, I had no choice but to let time take its course. "You can oversee the bidding, when the time comes. Maybe, if you put greed aside, you can choose whoever you prefer."
I watched Sayaka turn her gaze to us behind her, smiling with pure happiness. The world seemed to run in slow motion as she pointed to the stall she stood beside. "If I put greed aside, there are a great many things I could do."
Mori placed herself in my line of vision, strategically blocking my view of the Maiko. "The way you look at her is becoming hungry."
Despite myself, I felt a smile overtake the corners of my lips, and I swiftly looked away from her. Signs of affection were a rarity from my hands, but I lifted them to skim the silk of her kimono until I reached her skin, resting lightly on her jawline. As my eyes met hers, I knew she could see exactly what I thought, exactly the reason my gaze was hungry, but with the touch of her I too could see a great deal of her in my mind's eye. We were even, I thought, and I let it go.
"It's not for the reasons you think."
"I know what reasons you have, Seishin. I can see it."
I let one eye look past her to the Maiko waiting still at the stall. "I could simply lie. I could simply hold the bidding and lie. Keep her pure."
I heard the clink of metal from her hairpiece as she flicked her gaze, so close to me. "Greed is truly unbecoming on you."
"Would you keep my secret if I lied?"
She said nothing else. Her body turned away from me, leaving a cold impression on my skin, and her kimono danced behind her on the cobblestones as she walked. The Kitsune and the Maiko side by side at my arm's reach, I witnessed the epitome of my happiness. I wished in that moment I could have it for the rest of the time I lived. I wondered if I had repented enough, sinned enough to repent, and if I had earned the rest of my life in peace. There had been a time when the two who I loved would never have stood side by side. That was another blessing I could count, and I feared myself becoming sentimental, emotional. I had always loved two. And she had always been one. The other had changed, but so too had the love.
Sayaka held a paper cup piled with shaved ice, a pink coloured liquid splashed carelessly across the dome shape it made. She held a wooden utensil in the air, an offering to me as I approached. Atop the utensil, a modest portion of the pink coloured ice. I leaned my head down and opened my mouth to let her feed me, eager to see the smile the playfulness of the action would produce on her face. I became a slave easily to her sweet expressions.
"Do you like it, Seishin-sama?"
How she changed from day to night. From child to Maiko. From innocence to seduction. "It's delicious." I would lie for her, I decided. I would burn the rivers and shatter the mountains for her.