RIC had come into the Sydney office to work because he couldn't stand his own company. It was four months since he'd seen Lara and the only communication he'd received from her this past month had been relayed through Mitch—a request for him to stay clear. There would inevitably be
—and had been—a media furore surrounding Gary Chappel's death, funeral and inquest, and she didn't want Ric spotlighted as a player in her life.
No scandal for the gossip pages.
She had been legally separated from her husband, pending a divorce.
Irreconcilable differences. No other man involved.
In short, Ric had been effectively sidelined with no comeback in sight. The respectable widow walked alone. She didn't need or want his support. Mitch had assigned her a good solicitor to handle Gary's estate and Lara had reached some private settlement with Victor Chappel so there'd be no contest. Ric suspected a deal had been made—her silence on the nature her marriage—no slur cast on his son's character—and she'd be a wealthy woman for life.
He'd felt increasingly savage about the hypocrisy of it all. Even more so over being left out of Lara's life.
She didn't owe him anything. He'd told her that repeatedly. And meant it. Yet the intimacy they had shared…he couldn't accept that it could be just swept aside as though it was now irrelevant. No way could he forget the night he'd spent with her…how right it had felt…and her words about missing him all these years…
He was at the point of wondering whether that had been a seductive lie to push him into doing what she wanted—wipe Gary out of her mind. Yet he'd believed, at the time, it had turned into more than that—a mutual loving that had gone so deep he couldn't tear it out of his system, couldn't set it aside and go on as though it made no difference to his life.
It did. 'Ric…'
The insistent tone in Kathryn's call of his name broke into his turbulent brooding. His gaze snapped up, his eyes stabbing her with all the angry resentment he felt over the situation with Lara. She was sitting on the other side of his desk and he saw the startled look on her face, realised what he'd done and swiftly rearranged his expression.
'Sorry. You were saying?'
She grimaced. 'Have you heard anything I've said, Ric?' 'No,' he admitted, shrugging off any care about his lack of
concentration. 'Better leave your report with me, Kathryn. I'll read it later. I'm not in the mood for discussing business right now.'
'Okay.' She stood up and handed him the stapled pages she'd been using as a reference. 'I'll be in my office. Call me if you want to question anything.'
He had a million questions, but not about business.
'Has Lara Chappel made any contact with you?' he shot at her.
She straightened up, her hands linking in front of her as though needing to guard herself from attack. Her eyes were wary as she gave a slow, measured reply. 'No personal contact, Ric. However, she did send me a beautiful arrangement of flowers on her return to Sydney, with a note thanking me for my assistance.'
Flowers for Kathryn.
At least her involvement in the rescue and its aftermath had not been ignored.
Yet this acknowledgment felt like an even bigger slap in the face for Ric. No flowers for him. Nothing for him.
Kathryn's hands started fretting at each other.
His tension was obviously getting to her. Ric was about to wave her on her way when he noticed something missing. 'You're not wearing your engagement ring.'
'I gave it back to Jeremy,' she stated flatly.
It momentarily distracted him from Lara. He frowned his concern.
Rejection was hell. 'Your decision or his, Kathryn?'
'Mine.' Her mouth tilted into a wry little smile. 'He wasn't the man I thought he was.'
'I'm sorry.' The guy must have let her down in some serious way. 'Don't be. I made a mistake. Better to find out before I married him.' 'Yes,' Ric agreed mockingly. 'Mistakes can be very costly.'
Like making love to Lara.
'I've actually been seeing Mitch Tyler,' Kathryn said in a rush. 'You…and Mitch?' He was surprised.
She flushed and he realised she was embarrassed about telling him, yet there was a sympathy in her eyes which instantly had him writhing inside. Kathryn and Mitch…discussing him and Lara.
'Good luck to you,' he said bruskly and gestured for her to go.
As soon as the door closed behind her he was up and pacing, unable to contain the violent energy coursing through him. To hell with standing back and doing nothing! He needed action. He wanted answers. Lara's silence was killing him. He snatched up the telephone and stabbed out the numbers for the Vaucluse mansion.
Though how Lara could go back there was another question that taunted him.
But she had. Within three days of Gary Chappel's death she had flown away from Gundamurra—lifted out by a helicopter which had been paid for by Victor Chappel. A very swift return to the life she'd left behind in Sydney. Couldn't wipe the dust of the Outback off her feet fast enough. No waiting for Ric Donato to escort her anywhere. Not wanting him with her, not for love nor money. No need for his money now. As for love…
'The Chappel residence.'
Not her voice. Had she kept on the housekeeper Gary had employed?
All the staff that had been his watchers, reporting on her? Ric couldn't comprehend what Lara was about anymore.
'It's Ric Donato,' he snapped. 'And I'd like to speak with Lara Chappel.'
A pause, then, 'Please wait, Mr. Donato.' Waiting for what? Ric thought viciously. To be rejected point-blank?
At least that would be some satisfaction. He'd know exactly where he stood. Fantasy dead. Just another episode with Ric Donato put to rest. No missing him at all.
He waited.
And waited.
He was turning into stone while he waited. 'Hello, Ric.'
Her voice.
He could hardly believe his ears, having geared himself up to expect nothing. His mouth was completely dry. He had to work some moisture into it before he could reply.
'Lara…' His mind was blank. No other words came.
She broke the ensuing silence. 'It's good to hear from you.' Good?
'I'm glad you feel that.' The remark flew out, edged with a sarcasm he instantly regretted. Maybe she had cogent reasons for not contacting him in person. Maybe she had cogent reasons for everything she'd done. If she was welcoming his call now… 'It's been a long time,' he quickly added.
'Yes. Yes it has.'
No apology. No excuse for her silence.
'I was wondering if we could meet,' Ric tested. 'Have dinner together.'
A long pause, then with what sounded like forced brightness, she answered, 'What about lunch? Tomorrow, if it suits you.'
Not dinner. Not risking a night with him. Not wanting a night with him. 'Lunch. Tomorrow,' he repeated, gripped by a fierce determination to see this through. 'That's fine. Where would you like me to take you?' 'No.' Strongly decisive. 'This is on me, Ric. I'll book a table at the Osiris Restaurant. It's in the Radisson Hotel, quite close to Circular Quay so it won't be far from your office. Let's say we meet there at twelve-thirty.'
'Twelve-thirty,' he repeated, hating the obvious limitations she was putting on their meeting. 'I'll look forward to it,' he grimly added, wondering if he was a stupid masochist, begging for more pain.
'Until tomorrow then,' she said briskly, and ended the call. He heard the click of disconnection.
It felt like a shot in the heart. But he would go tomorrow.
He needed to say goodbye to her—face-to-face!
Lara barely got the receiver down before she choked up completely, tears welling into her eyes, spilling down her cheeks. She tried to dash them away with her hands as she bolted upstairs to her bedroom, savagely wishing she didn't have to go through the wretched torment of meeting Ric tomorrow.
But how could she not?
He'd sounded hurt…bitter…and she felt deeply ashamed of the cowardice that had kept postponing any contact with him, evading a confrontation that would only be painful. She couldn't tell him the truth and didn't want to be put in the position where only more lies would effect the necessary parting. But an outright snub on the telephone…she hadn't been able to cut him like that. It was indecent, given all he'd done for her.
She reached her room, closed the door and leaned back against it, hugging herself tightly in a desperate attempt to reduce the ache of loss that had started up from just talking to him. How could she manage tomorrow… sitting down face-to-face…the memories of how it had been with him brought vividly to mind by his physical presence?
He'd cared about her. Really cared.
Would he still care if she spilled out the truth? Even if the baby wasn't his?
A terrible yearning for Ric to hold her again gripped her mind, her heart, her entire body. But that was precisely how she had got herself into this hopeless dilemma…being selfish. Blindly, foolishly selfish. Caring only for what she wanted.
So what could she say tomorrow?
Oh, by the way, Ric, I'm pregnant. Don't know if it's your baby or Gary's. Sorry about letting you think I was protected. I was wild for you at the time. But now it's come to this, how about standing by me for the rest of our lives? Love me, love my child, regardless of who the father is.
A great reward that would be for all his giving! She'd made this bed.
It was wrong to even flirt with the temptation of asking Ric to share it with her, to take on the load of fatherhood when she'd led him to believe there was no chance of it.
No.
Somehow she had to make him believe she wanted to lead an independent life. That she had plans which didn't include him. In all decency, she had to thank him graciously for freeing her to pursue her own goals, and effectively bow out of any further connection with him.
But it shouldn't be a bitter end. Hopefully an understood one.
Though her heart bled for all the things that would have to remain unsaid.
Her arms slid down to hug the child within. The shock of the plane crash and Gary's death had worried her. She'd returned to Sydney as soon as she felt well enough to travel, anxious to see a doctor and have the baby checked. So far everything was all right. Last week's ultra-scan had revealed a perfectly healthy baby.
She needed this baby to live. Something good to hang on to.
Tomorrow she had to say goodbye to Ric. And let him go.