Second Period; Gym Class
The students are as energetic and rowdy during P.E class as ever. Typically the boys play during the first half of the class and the girls play during the latter half. That isn't a mandate or anything, it's just the consensus we came to as a class. Occasionally the teacher will have us participate in activities together, but that isn't a very common occurrence. So long as you do at least 5 minutes of physical activities, he'll give you credit for the day. Frankly speaking, he's a lazy teacher and loves to just read whilst we play around unsupervised. Not exactly an ideal role model, but I for one actually like him. He gives us the freedom to do what we want, so long as we're getting along and not causing trouble. According to him, "when you give students the ability to enjoy themselves while doing class activities then they'll be more inclined to engage". I'm pretty sure he just pulled that out of his ass, but I believe that statement has some validity to it. By the way, his name is Taida-Sensei. Spelled with the same kanji used to write lazy. Quite ironic given his lax attitude.
"Over here Ri-chan!"
(Pass)
"Kyo-chan shoot it!"
"Ei!"
(Swish)
"Alright! Nice shot Kyo-chan!"
"Ehehe, thanks Ri-chan."
The girls are playing basketball right now. Since I had nothing better to do, I figured I'd watch them play since Kyoko and Yamaguchi were also playing. Although…
"Woah, check out Yamaguchi's rack!"
"I know right dude? They're bouncing all over the place!"
"Eh, I'm more of a Kyoko fan myself."
"I totally get you, she's so cute and super sweet."
"No no, Kyoko-chan is great, but bigger is always better."
"I agree. Just imagine burying your face into them…"
"Woah…"
"Woah…"
"What are you guys on about? Flat-chested girls are obviously superior!"
"Exactly! Plus, personality is more important than anything."
"Nah man, you can't motorboat a personality."
"Real."
It seems the rest of the guys have other reasons for watching…
I better stop them before they say something that really pisses me off.
"Hey you four, knock it off now. Before I tell Yamaguchi and Kyoko what you were just saying about them."
"Eek! W-we're sorry!"
The four of them apologize and quickly scurry away.
Now then, how should I deal with her…
"Hey, you didn't want to play with everyone else?"
I ask the red-haired girl who's been sitting beside me with her knees tucked into her chest the entire time. Despite what happened this morning she still opted to sit by me when her friends went to play.
"No way, I'm not good at sports. Just look at how small I am. I would just embarrass myself if I tried," she says in a self-deprecating manner, not averting her eyes from the basketball game.
"Well, I don't think anyone's worried about whether you're good or not. Seems like everyone is just playing to have fun."
"Yeah but," she looks toward the ground and lowers her voice to the point that I can barely hear her, "I don't want people to see me doing things I'm not good at…"
"Hmm, is that so?"
"People want to be around and approve of others that are good at things, not people that have deficiencies or show weakness…" Kotori says with a troubled smile. It's as if she's telling that to herself more than she is to me.
"Well I guess that's true, but…"
I can't help but feel like there's a deeper meaning behind her words. Although it isn't really my place to pry, so I'll keep my mouth shut.
"But?"
"No never mind," I dismiss the subject and the two of us continue to silently watch the game.
"That's the game!"
The girls' basketball game has come to its conclusion. It was a close game, but unfortunately, Kyoko and Yamaguchi's team barely lost by 2 points.
"Hey, what the hell Yamaguchi! Why didn't you pass the ball? You had wide-open teammates!"
"What are ya on about? They were all over Kyo-chan. I had no choice but to shoot it."
"I was wide open! I know you heard me calling for the ball!"
"Yeah, but you'd been missing shots all game so even if I did you probably would've missed anyway, so what's the big deal?"
"Urk!"
Looks like Yamaguchi and another teammate are getting into it. Yamaguchi sure isn't mending her words either. She pretty much just all but called her teammate bad without directly saying it.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?! This is why no one likes playing with you, Yamaguchi! You only think about yourself and you don't work together with anyone except for Yuzuha! Everyone is sick and tired of it!"
"It's just a stupid game and besides, I don't give a rat's ass what everyone else thinks about me. If I wanna take 30 shots and only pass to Kyo-chan then that's what I'm gonna do, if it'll give us the best chance to win. If y'all don't like it then start makin' yer shots."
"That's it, I've had it with your selfish attitude!"
"Hah?! You wanna go or somethin' ?"
"Hey, guys stop fighting!"
Well, I suppose that's the end of that little scuffle.
Kyoko jumps between the two girls and defuses the situation almost immediately. She makes both of them apologize to one another and gives them both a hug. That's Kyoko for you, she really knows how to bring people together.
"How can she do that," Kotori, who was watching the entire thing, asks dumbfounded.
"You mean Kyoko? I know it's pretty amazing how she can defuse a situation that easily," I say, puffing out my chest a bit with pride.
"No. I mean Yamaguchi…"
"Yamaguchi? What about her?"
"Even when that girl was berating her and everyone looked at her with scornful eyes, she didn't even flinch, let alone back down. It's like she doesn't care what other people think about her at all…"
"Well, that's probably because she doesn't."
Except for Kyoko, of course. Although, she would probably never outright admit that.
"…That's amazing. I…could never be like that," Kotori bitterly smiles and looks toward the gym floor once again.
"What do you mean by that?" I ask with a hint of concern in my voice.
"Nah… it's nothing. By the way, here's your handkerchief," she pulls out the handkerchief from her skirt pocket and offers it to me.
"Ah, it's fine you can keep it."
"… Alright, if you're not in a rush to get it back I'll wash it first before returning it," she closes her hand and stuffs the handkerchief back into her pocket.
She sure has a strange sense of responsibility, she can throw it out for all I care honestly.
"You don't have to return it, but if you really insist then just return it when you don't need it anymore."
"Urk! Hey what's that supposed to mean?!" Kotori stomps her left foot down and looks down toward me with what I can only describe as a cute pouting face.
Well if she's feeling energetic enough to pout over a joke like that, then I'm sure she's fine. Although, I wonder if she…
"Well whatever, I'm gonna go with my friends since they're done playing now, see ya," she says, getting ready to walk away.
"Hey Kotori," I call out to her, having decided to ask the question.
"Yeah?" Kotori turns back around with a slightly confused expression.
"Do you wanna be friends with Yamaguchi or something?"
"I—"
Upon hearing my question, she makes a troubled expression as she struggles to find the right words.
"…I couldn't, not after what I made her go through the other day," Kotori shakes her head as if dismissing the idea and quickly walks away.
"I'm pretty sure she's already gotten over that already…"
******
"Akira-kun did you see me out there?"
Kyoko comes over and sits down next to me.
"Yeah, you were amazing out there Kyoko," I say whilst stroking her head. I can feel glares of envy and whispers of hatred coming from the guys, coincidentally one of them is Fujibayashi.
"Ehehe, I did my best since you were watching~"
"Yes yes, you did great."
"Hehe, take this~"
"Hey, Kyoko! Don't try to hug me when you're all sweaty!"
"Oopsie, I forgot about that, teehee~," She says cutely sticking out her tongue.
"Jeez…"
(I… could never be like that)
I look over at the red-haired girl who was just beside me as I recall her words from earlier.
"I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask the two of them," I think to myself as Kyoko continues attempting to cling to me.
******
Lunch Time
Kyoko, Yamaguchi, and I are sitting together in the cafeteria. I turned down a lunch invitation from Fujibayashi and Manabe since I had something important I wanted to discuss with these two.
"Hey Yamaguchi," I call out to Yamaguchi, who is completely immersed in her lunch.
"Hm? Whaddya want Fuyuki?" She stops her chopsticks mid-air and responds in a slightly agitated tone.
"What do you think about Kotori?"
"Kotori? Who's that?" She tilts her head to the side and raises her eyebrow.
Did she seriously already forget who she was…
"You know, the small girl with red hair that wears a lot of jewelry. How could you already have forgotten her?"
"Hmmm…" Yamaguchi closes her eyes and starts thinking. Only to quickly give up and return to eating with a "no clue ".
"Ri-chan you don't remember Kotori-chan? We met her on the first day of school. She apologized to me the other day. She's actually a really good girl," Kyoko interjects, trying to jog Yamaguchi's memory.
(Bam)
"Ohhh. I remember now!"
Seemingly having just remembered she hits her fist against the palm of her hand.
"So she actually kept her word and apologized huh? I gotta say, I didn't think she'd do it.
"Yeah, I was really surprised by that as well," I add.
"So, ya wanted to know what I think about her, Fuyuki?"
"Yeah."
"Hmm, well she kept her word and apologized to Kyo-chan. Also, Kyo-chan seems to be fond of her, so she can't be that bad. If Kyo-chan likes her then she's all good in my book," Yamaguchi happily says, not even giving it a second thought.
"Hmm, what about you Kyoko?"
"I think Kotori-chan is a very sweet girl and I'm glad we're friends now," Kyoko brightly smiles, reiterating her approval of a Kotori.
"Yeah, that's about what I figured."
"What's with the weird question all of a sudden Fuyuki? Are ya interested in her or something?."
"Wha— Is that true Akira-kun?" Kyoko turns to me with puppy dog eyes, practically on the verge of tears.
"Can you not say such misleading things, Yamaguchi…"
"Hmph, then don't ask misleading questions," Yamaguchi retorts.
"…Well, I am interested in her, but not the way you're thinking about Kyoko."
"Are you sure? "
"Yes, you're the only girl I'm interested in that way," I emphasize, trying to reassure her.
"Fufu, alright I trust you," Kyoko playfully laughs and leans against my shoulder.
"You just wanted me to say that, didn't you..."
"Who knows~"
Both Kyoko and Yamaguchi seem to like her or at the very least they don't dislike her.
Alright now, how should I go about this?
****
(Ding Dong Ding)
The school day comes to an end.
"Yo Fuyuki, wanna walk home together? Or are you gonna walk with Kyoko-chan today?" Fujibayashi turns around from his desk and asks.
"Nah she said she's going to talk to the student council about joining today."
"Ehhh, so Kyoko-chan is joining the student council huh? Doesn't that mean she'll be pretty busy from here on out?"
"Yeah…"
I've tried to avoid thinking about it, but the fact of the matter is that she'll be much busier once she joins. Meaning, we won't be able to spend as much time together…
"Hey, can I join you guys?" Manabe asks, packing up the last of his things.
"Yeah sure."
"Absolutely not!"
It seems like Fujibayashi is still holding a grudge against Manabe for what happened this morning. By the way, I decided to start calling him Manabe instead of playboy since there's no point in both Fujibayashi and me calling him that. It'll just make me feel like I'm stooping down to Fujibayashi's level.
"Alright let's go," I stand up and start heading toward the door.
Manabe and Fujibayashi follow, bickering all the while.
"See you tomorrow Yamaguchi," I briefly wave Yamaguchi goodbye.
"Yeah, see ya Fuyuki."
The fact that Yamaguchi is still in the classroom means she's waiting for Kyoko to be finished.
"Catch ya later," Manabe winks at Yamaguchi and waves her goodbye.
"Disgusting…" Yamaguchi shoots Manabe a look of repulsion and turns away from him.
"Ouch, that kind of hurt ya know," Manabe sarcastically remarks, shrugging off her cold attitude.
"Heh serves you right, playboy."
"You did have that coming," I add, agreeing with Fujibayashi's jeer.
"You three get the hell outta here already!"
****
The three of us make idle chatter as we walk.
"So are you two joining any clubs this year?"
I realized that I don't really know anything about these two. So I figured it might not be a bad idea to get a general idea of what they're into.
"Hmm, I'll probably just join the literature club this year."
"Are you into writing and stuff Fujibayashi?"
"Yeah, a bit. It's a nice way to express yourself."
"That's a surprisingly normal reason coming from you," I jokingly jeer.
"Hey what's that supposed to mean?!"
"I just figured you'd try to join the swim club so you could see girls in their swimsuits or something outlandish like that."
No one would be stupid enough to actually try to join the swim club for a reason like that.
"Ohhh, that's a great idea Fuyuki! You're a genius!"
Well, almost no one…
"What about you Manabe? You on the basketball team or something?"
"Yeah, actually I am. How'd you know?"
"Ah, I saw you talking with someone from the team this morning so I just assumed you might've been on the team."
"Yup, I'm the vice-captain of the basketball team," Manabe proudly exclaims.
"Hmm."
That would partially explain why he's so popular.
"Pfft, big deal. I bet you're not even that good."
"Well, at the very least I'm good enough to have girls flock over me, hehe."
"What was that?! Get back here you bastard!"
"Hahaha."
Seems like the atmosphere around these two has become more friendly. Manabe seems more comfortable around Fujibayashi and I can tell Fujibayashi doesn't actually hate Manabe.
"GET BACK HERE!"
Probably doesn't hate Manabe…
I continue to watch them horse around until we part ways.
"I'm this way."
"I'm this way."
Manabe and Fujibayashi point in the same direction.
"Ugh, why do I have to walk in the same direction as you…"
"Hey what's wrong with me?"
"Everything!"
"Alright, I'm this way. See you guys later."
"Yeah see ya, Fuyuki."
"H-Hey get your filthy hands off me playboy!"
Manabe waves bye to me as he wraps his arm around Fujibayashi.
"Those two are really something, that's for sure," I wave to them and start heading home.
******
As I reach the stone bridge, I spot a familiar face.
"Yo, Mr.Homeless guy."
"Ohhh, shounen it's you. Also, it's Taijin. Itou Taijin. It hurts when you call me homeless, you know?"
"It's true though isn't it?"
"Hahaha, well you got me there," he says, heartily laughing.
What a strange guy.
"So what's up shounen, got something on your mind today?"
"Nah, not particularly. I noticed you weren't here this morning, so I was a bit curious about where you went."
"Ah that… I was just taking care of some business. Nothing to worry about shounen."
"Is that so?"
It kind of seems like he's hiding something, but I don't really care enough to inquire about his whereabouts. Besides, we're still practically strangers anyway."
"Yep. So any way you wanna skip some stones today?"
"Sure, why not," I accept his proposal and take a seat on the grass a few feet away from him.
I don't have anything better to do and he probably just wants company. I find it a bit strange that I feel so comfortable hanging around this guy, but my gut tells me he isn't really a bad person.
(Splash)
"Haha, I see your skipping still needs to work."
"Ugh…"
(Splash)
As usual, he effortlessly skips the stone across the river.
"…"
As we continue skipping stones my mind wanders back to Kotori. There's something about her that's bothering me.
"Hey, I have a question," I call out to the homeless guy.
"What's up Shounen?"
I figure it wouldn't hurt to indirectly ask him about Kotori. Although I'm skeptical about his advice from the last time, two heads are still better than one.
"There's this person at my school who I was talking to today…"
"What about em?"
"Well, there's something about the way they act and certain things they say that's been bothering me."
"What kinda things we talkin'?"
"Well, today she was saying how people want to be around and approve of people that are good at things and not people who have deficiencies and show weaknesses."
"So it's a girl huh?"
Shit, I messed up… I didn't mean to let that slip out.
"Hmm, so what about her is bothering you?"
"I don't know why, but I feel like… I can understand where she's coming from. So it makes me want to help her I guess. I don't know if it's really my place to butt into her business though."
(Splash)
I throw a stone into the river and it sinks immediately.
"I mean, does it really matter if it's your place or not?"
"…Huh? What do you mean?"
"Well, if you've been in her shoes before and want to help her because of that, then isn't that enough of a reason to get involved?"
"Is that how it works?"
"It's only natural to want to help someone if you feel like you have the power to do so. Although, if I was around your age, I'm sure I would think "it's too bothersome" unless it were someone I personally cared about."
Huh, that's exactly how I feel when it comes to helping others. I'm surprised someone as energetic as him used to think that way as well.
"I wouldn't say she's someone I really care about, but even so I feel like I want to help her for some reason.
(Splash)
I toss another stone and this time it sinks after two skips.
"Then first you should figure out why you want to help her. If you don't even have a reason for wanting to help her, then your sincerity will never get through to her. It'll just come off as you pitying her without even knowing anything."
(Splash)
Another flawless skip.
"Why do I want to help her…"
"Yup, once you've figured out the reason, then everything else will become clear."
"Alright…Thanks," I give him my thanks before standing up to start heading home.
"No problem shounen!"
"Hey, shounen!"
As I'm walking away he calls out to me.
"Yeah?"
"There's a big difference between overcoming a problem and running away from one. If you run away from hardships then you'll never be able to grow as a person."
"Uh alright?" Confused as to why he told me this, I simply nod in agreement.
"Just try to keep that in mind. That's all I wanted to say, catch you later shounen," He waves me goodbye, before going back to skipping stones.
"Running away huh… I wonder if that's what you'd call it." I mutter those words to myself, looking back at the homeless man one last time before departing.
*******
Now within five minutes of arriving home, I start to ponder on the question posed to me by him.
"Why do I want to help her huh?"
Honestly, I already know the answer to that question. It didn't take much thinking to figure out why seeing Kotori act that way made me want to help her. I just didn't want to think about it, that's all. She reminds me of how I used to be when my dad was still alive. I was always chasing after him. He was always shining so brightly and I admired him. He was an amazing person, but because of that people had unrealistically high expectations for me as his son. It became overwhelming for me once he passed away. Always trying to catch up to him, always worrying about what others thought of me, always wondering if I was good enough, and eventually realizing how impossibly high I had to climb to even hope that one day I could stand on the same level as him. That figure that once had given me so much strength and determination to reach the top, was now holding me back and preventing me from taking even a single step forward. I just wanted to be validated, I wanted people to approve of me, and I wanted to be the best because that's the standard that my dad unintentionally set just by being who he was. I'm sure for Kotori it's the same. I don't know what she's been through but, I can tell she's afraid of what other people think of her. She wants people to like her and she wants people to approve of her. And…if she keeps going like this she'll end up realizing that it's impossible to please everyone and she'll break. She'll give up and fall into a dark place. A place where you begin to wonder if the world would be better off without you. I know what it feels lIke to be in that place. If it wasn't for my mom then who knows what would've happened. I probably wouldn't have just given up on chasing my dad, but I might've even… I don't even want to think about that possibility. But what about Kotori? Who does she have to guide her? Who does she have to take her away from the path she's walking? The path that leads to nothing but pain and disappointment. I don't know and maybe I'm just overthinking it, but even so… I don't think anyone should be shackled down by the chains we call expectations. Besides, she's already Kyoko's friend. That's why I'll… No. Not only because of that, but because I want to as well. Because I don't want her to continue to pointlessly suffer chasing unrealistic expectations and desperately seeking validation from everyone aside from the most important person. Just like I did back then…
"Alright, I've decided."
Even if she didn't ask me to.
Even if I'm sticking my nose where it doesn't belong.
"I'll definitely help Kotori, no matter what."