Every fiber of my ill-fate being...
Every cell in my cursed body...
Felt nothing but manic murderous rage.
Livid from my instinctive bloodlust, I was pulled back to reality by Nikita's soft swollen lips.
Her need to appease was not out of duty but was born out of love and sincerity.
A huge part of me is over the moon that I know what she feels for me is real.
Yet the recently slumbering beast in me is waiting for the opportunity to avenge her.
I don't know which one was worse: our messed-up family drama or her thinking that she has to beg and change to be worthy of love.
Anger swelled from the bottom of my heart when I cupped my precious Nikita's plump tear-stricken flushed cheeks.
Her emerald eyes said it all: I lacked boundaries because I grew up not knowing what it's like to be loved the right way.
Knowing her grandmother, I know for a fact she did all that she could to fill up the void inside Nikita's loving heart.
Nikita will latch on to any passing fragment of a potential genuine and serious love. She loves hard because she fears that she has to go beyond her means just to be deemed worthy of it.
Not only have they bread crumb Nikita, but they've also gaslighted her into thinking that no one will love her for her. Her instinct to survive had led her to be the overachieving trophy daughter for her shallow parents to boast about.
They made her feel that no matter what she'll do, she'll never be worthy of anything.
That she was not worth loving.
And yet...
At the airport, her initial response to my journey to Death's door was to extend herself to help me heal.
She's also in pain. Yet she immediately disregarded her pain to help heal mine.
No matter how many times they broke my Nikita, they could never destroy her loving heart.
Feeling Nikita relax, my calloused fingers ran through her waist-length chestnut hair, I discovered my precious dream purring in sleep.
Laying us down, making sure my sweet Nikita was comfortable remained undisturbed as she cried herself to sleep.
Resting her precious head on my chest, Nikita's delicate hand faintly grip on my shirt as she purred some more in her sleep.
The bustling city lights brimming with mundane social nightlife could never hold a candle to this priceless moment our secret cliff beyond the city premises.
Nikita was unconsciously rubbing her cheek on my chest as she purred, "... love ... Ansel ..." every now and then.
Chuckling at such a cherished sight, my dazed silver eyes trailed from my sleeping kitten to the night sky above.
Artificial lights from the neon and strobe lights from the ongoing international concert on the east side were matchless against the splendor of the magic of the Milky Way above.
This is the reason why I brought Nikita here.
It was to share this with her,
Pulling her into a tight embrace, hoping that I could shield her from the cruelty of the world, I made a solemn vow in my heart.
Deeming such a vow not made on the record, I stretched out my free left hand to reach for my camera and reiterated my vow on camera as Nikita has yet again purred my name in her sleep. I then recalibrated the setting to capture the Milky Way above, intending to show this to Nikita when she wakes up.
"We'll come here again. There's always tomorrow. We have time." Every sentence stated has sealed my vow by placing a kiss on Nikita's forehead. I found myself repeating my vows, just to have the right to place a kiss of promise to a very adorable purring Nikita.
Like some holy litany, I kept ceaselessly reiterating every single word as if it was a universal law that no foolish mortal would dare try to breach.
As if, by doing so, every cell in my once-hollowed body would firmly believe that my vow for Nikita is the truth.
Muttering my thoughts under the lunar breeze, "You smell like cinnamon. Gobbled down your cinnamon buns as if they were the sacred fruit from the tree of life. All while purring in your sleep. And you still dare ask why I call you, Cinnya~bun?"
Trying to suppress my hearty laughter, ensuring not to wake her up, our little moment had a rude awakening from an unwelcome ringing with a familiar name on the caller ID.
"Soren..." Growling in annoyance, my sleepy Nikita unconsciously tried to soothe my unfortunate annoyance away. A single thought crossed my mind: Even in her sleep, Nikita will always calm me down.
Begrudgingly answering the call, I held up my phone to my ear and listened.
"Lay low for some time." Soren's voice didn't bother to hide his evident frustration.
"Don't tell me..." Uttering and hating that my peaceful days have come to an abrupt end.
"Wicked Witch of the West district is back." My mind immediately went back to fight mode. Nikita sensed my agitation, her sleepy fragile hands loving caressed my torso, which proved to be quite effective.
"Thanks for the warning, Soren. I'll just stay at my apartment in the city." The decent thing to do is to show gratitude to my uncle Soren.
"That's the thing. She found out about your swanky bachelor pad and crashed there; claiming to her guests that it's one of her many properties in the market." Hearing this from Soren, I can immediately tell that I do not like where this is going.
"What the hell did that witch do? Sell my apartment to the highest bidder?! I bought that apartment with my hard-earned money!" Still asleep, Nikita soothed my anger down as she pulled herself closer to me. Seeing her brows furrow with worry had me willing myself not to lose my temper with my happiness in my arms.
Silence on the other side of the line meant an obvious yes. Judging by how Soren is nervous to divulge further details meant the highest bidder was one of their VIP clientele.
If Soren clears up the mishap, their security business loses credibility and potential future clientele. Clearing up that witch's mess meant having to buy back my damn apartment from one of their VIP clientele.
Sighing in defeat, I stated, "Text me the name and the price. I'll buy back my freaking apartment." Knowing how this works, I just need to make sure I can afford to buy back my place.
"Dad mentioned that he'll buy it back on your behalf. More like, Mr. Connor already bought back for you, and Dad has just finished wiring back the money before giving that witch the lecture of a lifetime." As if an elephant has finally lifted its foot off of my back, my entire body relaxed so that I didn't have to make some shady deal with some stranger.
"Speaking of which, have those two...?" My inquiry was cut short when an incoming text from the man of the hour popped up on my phone.
Soren stated, "We've discussed this. We don't dip our toes in others' personal dramas. We support each other's stupid decisions unless intervention is necessary."
"Okay, but you know? Grandma and Grandpa are all up for them. Pierre just felt compelled to be the responsible one because a certain someone is in the running to be the resident player." Pushing my uncle Soren's button proved to have a switch back to a better mood.
"We don't just have lethal skills to defend and protect?! Why deny the world with our enviable good looks? Don't you think we're being a bit greedy?" Soren proudly retorted.
Chuckling at our silly banter, my mind traced back to my vow for Nikita.
"Hey Soren, I need some advice." Asking an adult, no matter how immature Soren can get, I know I can rely on things that matter the most.
"Go ahead. Shoot." Soren asked, ready and eager to reply.
"How can I protect a loved one?"