I was 6 months away from my 18th birthday when I requested a private hand to hand fight with Erik.
I had been training with the strongest wolves in our pack for almost 3 years and I had bested them all. I was optimistic that I could at least give Erik a run for his money.
I never believed I could actually beat him, I just wanted to be able to keep up with him. I have looked at Erik as my Alpha for years now, even though I know his dad is the current Alpha.
In my heart, Erik is my true Alpha, and I would never be so arrogant as to disrespect him or his power. To me, it was just a friendly match, I had expressed that much to him.
Erik hesitantly accepted my request. We decided to meet in the middle of the training grounds at midnight. The pack is always asleep by then, except for the wolves on patrol at the borders. But that was more than 10 miles away from the pack house. We knew no one would see us.
This wasn't like my race against Lukas, it wasn't about competition or proving I could be better than Erik. It was to prove only to myself, and maybe even Erik, that I could be a great Zeta to him. I couldn't bear the shame of failing my Alpha.
In all honesty, I have loved Erik since I was 12. He was always helping me with training, he cheered me on and pushed me on the days I felt like giving up. At every pack event where there was dancing, he would ask me to dance first.
Although, ever since his first shift, he hasn't danced with me. Maybe his wolf didn't like him dancing with someone who isn't their mate?
I had long since convinced myself that it's just a silly crush on the hottest male in the pack. He has sported the same bro flow cut for the last 5 years, but it suits his sharp features and frames his face in such a way that you can't help but want to reach out and touch his cheek.
His hair is nearly jet black, and he has chrystal blue eyes. The contrast makes him even sexier. All the she-wolves want to land Erik. Whether they land in his bed or turn out to be his mate, they didn't really care, just as long as they could say they had him.
He is the tallest man in the pack, aside from his dad, and his muscles are more than well defined. He always wears shirts that show off his arms and chest, as if he needed help in that department. He could wear a shirt 3 sizes too big and you would still see his physique.
No matter how hard I tried I couldn't shake this feeling deep in my gut that it was more than a crush. But I couldn't allow these teenage hormones get in the way of my place as his Zeta. I never let on to how I really felt about him. I figured that once he turned 18 and shifted, he would find his mate and we would have our future Luna.
Four years later he still hasn't found her, and I'm left feeling this tug on my heart every time he looks at me. His mate must not be of age yet, if she was, he would've sensed her by now and would've claimed her.
*****
Tonight was our private match, I decided to wear my long red locks in a high ponytail. The shade of red is much deeper than the other redheads in the pack, the only other person who has the same color is my dad. Kate was the first one to really point it out to me, she has always said the shade is crimson, almost blood red.
I almost always wear my hair up, but I can never bring myself to cut it above the middle of my back. It's like a signature for me. My curls are defined but always relaxed and loose.
My dad tells me that I got the curls from my grandfather, the General. I may have gotten my dad's hair, but my eyes are unmistakably from my mother.
We share the same striking shade of blue. Some describe them as sapphires while others say they resemble the ocean.
I put on one of my usual training outfits, black leggings with a red sports bra. I usually pair it with a crop top, but that's to avoid sun burns, so I opt out of wearing the shirt since we are doing this at night.
I get to the training grounds at 11:45 and begin my stretches. Soon after I hear Erik approaching, I don't even have to look up to know it's him. I smell his scent as he gets closer, he has always smelled amazing, but I think that most of the males in our pack smell good.
He makes sure I know he is here by saying, "Hey, we didn't say anything about pre-stretching."
"Are you kidding? That's training 101. Why wouldn't we stretch first?", I chuckle my response.
"I suppose you're right.", I can feel the grin on his face from behind me.
I stand up and finish my stretches before turning around to face him. His eyes drop to my breasts and I swear I saw his irises swirl with lust. As fast as it appears, the flash is gone and Erik clears his throat.
A small part of me relishes the fact that seeing me in my sports bra had stirred some kind of desire in him. As fleeting as it was.
I had to admit, I did wear the lowest cut that I owned, and with the size of my breasts it's hard to not look at them. I had passed a D cup when I was 16, now I wear a 36 DD. Not many sports bras can handle that.
He cleared his throat a second time, before saying, "I suppose we should just get to it then huh?"
"I'm ready if you are.", I replied.
"Come on Enya, are we really gonna do this? I don't want to hurt you.", his voice is laced with concern. I can tell that he really meant it, but I also felt as if he saw me as weak. That this was futile and we should just go our separate ways to bed.
"What do you think...Alpha?", my response was slightly sarcastic, but my body language was relaxed so he could tell I wasn't disrespecting him.
He had a surprised look on his face before taking his stance.
"Alright then, if this is really what you want."
"It definitely is.", I raised my hands and beckoned him to make the first move. I hadn't even taken my stance yet.
Erik cocked his head to the right and I knew then that he favored his right side. After the hundreds of extra training hours under my belt, it was fairly easy for me to assess his strengths and weaknesses. If he favored his right side, that made his left a vulnerability.
Of course I've watched Erik battle since we were children, but I haven't gone against him in nearly 4 years. I have advantages and disadvantages too.
As Erik began his attack I stood my ground for 3 seconds. I could see he was lowering his body, he was going for my abdomen or my legs. Either way I knew my next move.
A single second before his body connected with mine, I launch myself in the air pulling my legs up to leap over Erik. I push my hands against his back as he is under me and use the force to land 5 feet away from him.
That was too easy. He's not going to let me get away with it like this is he? Perhaps he heard my thoughts because I could see his eyes darken ever so slightly, showing his wolf Finn trying to take control.
Erik calms his breathing to gain control again. After his heart slows down he advances on me again. This time he doesn't lower his body, he's decided to just go for the straight attack approach. I internally chuckle.
I block each of his punches, the force behind his blows is like nothing I've ever felt before. I could truly sense how powerful he has become. I continue to dodge and block his moves, before long I decide it's my turn. I flip the switch on him and begin throwing my own punches.
After 3 swings my fist connects with his jaw, I feel massive pain in my fingers but I don't stop my attack. I begin throwing punches at his abdomen, I connect after 2 attempts. The wind is actually temporarily knocked out of him.
I take advantage of his winded state and kick my right leg against his left ankle. I kick myself off the ground and wrap my legs around his neck, I let my upper body go to the ground and brace myself against the grass. Once I have my palms down, I twist my legs to the right and bring Erik flying forward, throwing him on his back.
I quickly grab hold of his left arm and twist it to keep him in a headlock. His right hand grabs my leg in an attempt to pull it off of him, but I double down the strength in my legs and squeeze a little more. He taps out.
Immediately I release his head and we push off the ground away from each other. He is breathing heavily, I can hear his heart is thumping wildly.
I also feel my heart rate is sky high, I haven't fought anyone as strong as Erik and despite all my training I know he will win the next round. I simply got got lucky this time.
The next thing I know, Erik is lifting me off the ground before he swiftly pins me down. Somehow in between lifting and pinning me, he got both of my hands in one of his, and was holding them above my head.
He had moved with deadly speed, in that moment I knew he was holding back in the first round.
He is literally on top of me. His legs are straddling my hips and his face is inches from mine. His hot breath fans my face and I can feel the familiar stir in my body. It was a deliciously aching feeling that always ended up between my legs.
I tightened my thighs together hoping that he wouldn't be able to pick up the scent of my arousal. I'm sure it's pointless, he is an Alpha, their senses are twice as strong as a regular wolf.
Suddenly I realize why I wanted to spar with Erik. I stupidly thought that I just wanted to prove to myself that I was good enough to be his Zeta. Now I know, what I really wanted was just Erik.
I haven't been this close to him in 4 fucking years. It's been slowly killing me being away from him that much. I could feel him pulling away from me more each passing year that we didn't train together. My body craved to be challenged by my Alpha.
With him avoiding me my heart has been withering away. He doesn't know how much I need him.
We stay like this for a few moments, neither one of us breaking this trance we seem to be in. I can see in his eyes he is battling Finn for control, the color shifts swiftly between Erik's blue and Finn's green hue.
I have always thought Finn was the most gorgeous wolf I have ever seen. I have only seen him from a distance though, for some reason I get the feeling he avoids me whenever he is in control.
If I could see Finn up close like this I know my heart would burst from my chest. To see my Alpha in his most powerful form...that would be a sight to behold.