Erik still hasn't released me, it feels like he has had me pinned for 3 minutes. Actually, I'm sure it's been at least 3 minutes.
We never break eye contact, my breathing starts to pick up rather than slowing. I can feel his heart is still hammering against his ribcage, it's pulsing straight through to my heart.
I can feel his hard length growing against my stomach, it's dangerously low, near my mound. I can feel my panties becoming wetter than they already were. I clench my thighs even tighter to try and ease some of the ache Erik is creating.
He senses my struggle and finally decides to release his hold on me. He jumps off of me and puts 6 feet between us. I lift myself on my elbows to look at his face.
Was he so disgusted that I would react to him that way? Or was he ashamed that I could feel his cock getting hard against me?
His breathing is still pretty heavy but he seems to be getting control of it. I close my eyes and focus on slowing my heart and breathing down. I pull my knees to my chest and center myself. Once I can sense my vitals are back to normal I open my eyes.
Erik is looking straight through to my soul. He breaks the connection and suddenly stands straight up putting more distance between us.
I thought he was going to just walk away, retire to his room and we would never speak a word of this.
Then he turned around and said, "Enya, you can't tell anyone about this. Ok?"
I stood up, "Of course not! Erik, I would never betray your trust. This wasn't a competition to me."
"Then what was it?", he replied, a little curtly too.
"Erik...this was about...", I'm struggling to find the right words.
I want him to know that this wasn't a test to see if I could best him, I knew that was impossible. Despite round one going to me. He simply held back his wolf strength because he was right 4 years ago. It wouldn't be a fair fight.
"What Enya? Spit it out.", he is starting to get annoyed with my silence.
"Erik I...I missed you...", with that confession lingering on my lips, Erik's irritated face softens.
He sighs,"Enya, I'm right here. We see each other every day."
"That's not what I mean!", now I'm starting to get irritated.
As smart as Erik is, he can be really dense sometimes. I sigh heavily and start rubbing my temples, I didn't realize I was pacing until Erik grabbed me by the arms and stopped me.
"Stop, just breathe. Tell me what you meant.", his voice is soothing, I feel my shoulders relax as his thumbs rub small circles against my skin.
"It's not the same. We spent our lives training together, you used to push me and cheer me on every day. And then suddenly, you just stopped.", I let out in one breath.
Erik drops his head and sighs heavily. He squeezes my shoulders a little before he drops his hands. I can feel him pulling away from me again. My heart skips a beat when he looks me in the eye.
"Enya, it's not what you think. You know why I had to stop training with you, Kai and Kate. I couldn't bear it if I hurt you when I was learning how to control my wolf strength. I'd never forgive myself if I lost control with you." I can hear how sincere he is being, he really was afraid of hurting us. Of hurting me.
I had to let him know that I was never afraid of him or Finn.
"You don't understand Erik." He looks in my eyes again, his chrystal eyes always make my heart leap, this is no exception. "I need to be near you and Finn."
"What do you mean?", his eyes seem to have gotten slightly bigger as if he is surprised by my statement.
"I think you know what I mean.", his lips start to turn up at the corners, "I need to be training with my Alpha. I can't be distant from you, I'm not afraid of you or Finn. I want, no I need to be close. You and I both know we have always fed off of each other's strengths."
The small smile that I saw a second ago disappears.
He casts his eyes down before saying, "Yeah. I know what you mean...You're right. I shouldn't have stayed away like I did. It wasn't fair to you."
He seems disappointed with our conversation. I can't pinpoint what I said that seemed to upset him. I feel the need to comfort him, but I'm not sure he wants that right now.
"Erik?" He looks at me again. "Are you upset with me?"
His eyes soften again, he plasters a fake grin on his face before telling me,"No, E. I can never really be upset with you."
I know he is lying to me. But now is not the time to call him out on it. I straighten my shoulders and visibly shake off from our spar.
"Okay then. That's good. I hate it when you're upset. Even when it's not at me.", I try my best to sound nonchalant. But even I'm not really convinced.
I reach up to pull my pony tail out, I flip my head and shake out my curls. When I flip back up, Erik can't seem to take his eyes off of me. I know I see lust swirling in his gaze this time. He's not trying to hide it.
The hairs on my body start to rise, I can feel this deep need inside me to reach out and touch his face. It takes every ounce of my will power to keep my hands at my sides.
Erik's gaze rakes down my body making me squirm. My heartbeat is picking up it's pace again under his lustful stare.
I know he can hear my heart beating faster, I can see a lopsided grin starting to play on his full lips. He takes a step closer to me, which makes me step back.
He snaps his gaze back to my eyes. If he takes another step forward I don't know if I'll be able to restrain myself from running to him and smashing my lips against his. I have to control my urges, he is my Alpha and I'm his Zeta, we can't cross that line.
I have been saving myself for my mate, I can't throw that away because I'm drawn to my Alpha, no matter how drop dead sexy he is.
Erik sees the turmoil in my orbs and takes a step back. He knows I'm a virgin, that I want to give myself to my mate and no one else.
Erik lost his V-card when he was 16 to a random she-wolf that was in Advanced training. The next 2 years he bedded so many girls in the pack it was hard to keep track of who he fucked. I couldn't be just another notch on his bedpost.
Rumors have been going around the pack house that Erik's wolf has been influencing him to not bed another she-wolf until they find their mate. Not going to lie, I was always jealous of those girls.
I was also clearly of the mind that you shouldn't sleep with someone who isn't your mate. You'll regret it later.
After a tense moment between us we both start to cough or clear our throats to break the tension. I start to head back to the pack house, it's nearly 1 in the morning and I know the patrol teams are about to go on shift change.
I pass by Erik, but he grabs my elbow stopping me from walking away.
"Enya, I...", he starts to say.
I'm looking in his eyes, searching for... well I'm not sure what I'm looking for.
He releases my arm and steps back before continuing, "I'm sorry for hindering your training. I promise once you shift, things will be different. You'll see."
"You mean, you still won't train with me for another 6 months?"
"I just can't E. Not yet. Please trust me on this.", he pleads with me.
"I do trust you Erik...with my life.", I respond without breaking eye contact. "There's no one I trust more in the world."
The look on his face tells me he is struggling with wanting to train with me, to be close to me, but also fearful of hurting me. Without thinking I press my body against his and wrap my arms around his neck.
I pull him flush against me in a full body hug. His whole body relaxes in my embrace and he wraps his arms around my back pulling me even tighter against him.
He flattens his hands against my back, his right hand travels to my lower back while his left hand finds it's way to the back of my neck. He twists his face into my neck and breathes in deeply.
I let out a breath I didn't realize I have been holding in, and I begin to pull out of our hug.
Erik tightens his hold of me and moves his nose to behind my ear, taking in my scent deeply again. His lips were grazing my skin ever so slightly, it made my blood rush through my veins and I trembled against him.
He sighs heavily and releases me. His hot breath had covered my ear and blew my hair back a bit, if I was aching for him before, I was in agony now.
"You should head back. It's getting really late."
I could tell that's not what he really wanted to say, but I gave him a small smile and said, "Yeah, you're right. Patrol will be switching shifts any time now...I am getting tired too."
"Me too. We should rest up, training isn't going to be easy tomorrow."
"No kidding. Tonight really wore me out.", I reach my right hand up and cup the back of my neck to rub some tension out.
"Maybe you should take tomorrow off.", he sounds serious, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna listen.
"Me? A day off? You know I never stop.", I chuckle to him.
He laughs back, "I know, but don't you think you've earned it? You've been working basically non-stop since you were 8. I don't need my Zeta getting burnt out before she starts the job."
Hearing Erik's worry that I'm driving myself too hard doesn't have the effect I thought it would. Any time someone told me to slow down or take a break, it inevitably made me want to work even harder.
I have always felt the need to prove my place to the pack. That I deserved to be Zeta, not just that because my father and grandfather were Zeta, but that I earned it.
Coming from Erik, it felt as if I had proven myself to him. He wants me as his Zeta, it was the proudest moment of my life. Even kicking Lukas' ass at racing the last 3 years didn't compare to the pride that filled my heart just now.
"Maybe you're right. I wouldn't want to disappoint my Alpha.", I smiled to him.
His brows scrunched together as he said, "E, you could never disappoint me. There's no one better for the job. You're the one I want by my side."
I couldn't be sure, but something tells me that last sentence wasn't about my position as Zeta. It felt deeper than that. I'm sure I'm reading too much into it, but that didn't stop my eyes from starting to fill up with tears of joy.
Erik just told me I had earned my place. 'There is no one better for the job.'
I gave him my warmest smile yet, "Thank you Erik, that means more to me than you know."
I turned around and headed to the pack house again. After a few steps I decided to run the rest of the way. I was so pumped after our match I had to blow off some energy.
I didn't stop running until I reached my room. I even ran up the 4 flights of stairs that you have to take to reach the high ranking wolves floor.
Closing the door to my bedroom I put my back against the door and panted for a few seconds. I can't remember the last time I was this happy.
That is what being around Erik does to me. He makes me feel like a live wire. I love how he challenges me and how easily he can put me in my place, while at the same time encouraging me towards my goals.
I push off of my door and begin undressing. I throw my clothes in the laundry hamper before stepping in my bathroom and turning on my shower. I let the steaming water beat down on my muscles, a hot shower is always how I end a day.
After washing my hair and body I wrap a towel around my hair and put my fluffy robe on. I wipe the steam away from my mirror, I stare at myself for a moment and take in all of my accomplishments.
Erik is right, I have earned a day off. I should relax more. Not that I am going to take a full break from training. A few less days a week won't dull my skills.
Taking my hair down I hang the towel up along with my robe. I brush my hair out before putting it in a long French braid.
I walk out of my bathroom, head to my dresser and pull out my favorite pj's. A simple purple spaghetti strap top and matching shorts that are a little figure hugging.
I crawl into my bed pulling the covers over my legs. It doesn't take long for me to pass out. I really did get worn out from our match.
I fell asleep thinking of the green in Erik's irises, I couldn't wait to meet Finn after I shift.