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Chapter 39 - The desperation to agree!

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Bai Xi's Pov:

I waited a few moments before he took a step back..

He looked me in the eye and with clear voice said, "Because I can't live without you."

My eyes widened at his clear admission of his feelings and the pure intensity of it.

His eyes took in the look of my face before he continued, "I tried to forget you and live on and to focus on other things but it was as hard as unable to take my next breath."

My eyes looked at his, searching for the certainty of his words, which I found in abundance.

"It was agony for me and I couldn't even function a single night away. So after my work I came to find you here yesterday and rang the door but you didn't answered it. So I stood here at the door, waiting for you the whole night and only left in the morning because I had an important meeting today. But after I finished my work, without even thinking about it I came here and was standing at the door for the past two hours just waiting for you to come back."

"And if I didn't came back today as well then what would you have done? Spend the whole night standing outside." I asked, my voice nothing more than a whisper.

"Yes, because I would rather be here than at any place else because atleast here my mind was at peace knowing you would be here at sometime. So I planned on staying here waiting for you. Because that's how crazy you make me. Though it's been only a few days but it was torture for me to do anything else and not constantly think about you."

His words left me completely and utterly speechless as I stood gawking at him, his words reeling in my mind again and again.

"I thought about you to let you go and I tried.....but I couldn't. Not while, all my heart wanted was—You." He paused,then continued, "You know the first night, after our disagreement on the boat, I wasn't able to think about anytime without you in it. It was agony thinking a life without you in it. And I couldn't even last a single night, lest a whole day."

I too felt the same. It was agony without him the past few days.

"You may call me whatever you want, hate me, criticise me, call me a hypocrite but I can't live without you. And that is the fact. I want you in my life regardless of anything else. I don't care about past and I certainly don't have reserves future or anything else, so the end has to be us. That's all I know."

His confession got me nerve wrecked as I felt myself let go. I felt my reasons bereft me as I couldn't come up with a single reason to counter him.

I sighed and then took a step towards him and then sagged against him as I felt his head fell against the crown of my head and inhaled my hair.

"Now, What?" I asked my voice muffled from the overwhelming emotions.

"Whatever you want, baby!" He whispered.

My gaze flickered to his which bore down at me intensely.

He words gave me warmth and my brain almost turned to a puddle, as I let them calm my chaotic mind.

"Are you sure about it? Have you really think it through?" I asked my voice uncertain but still reeking with desperation as I actually wanted him to say yes.

"Yes baby, I have never been more sure about anything else than us. I don't know how, why or what. I only want this thing to work. I need this to work because I tried....but couldn't breathe without you." He whispered and my next breath left me completely at his confession.

I couldn't help as my eyes widened in response before I pulled him down and crashed his lips with mine.

I bent backward from the pressure of him on me, my knees bent forward as they gave under me.

Si Yihan's arm snaked around my waist holding me up against him and not letting me fall under him.

He picked me up and pushed me against the wall as I felt every curve of his pressing against mine. His hands roamed at my back while he lifted me up and wounded my left leg up and around his waist and then the right one, completely lifting me off the floor.

I stayed hanging in the middle between the wall and him as I felt him molding his hands down the length of my leg, cupping them, pressing them with his hands while still holding me up against the wall.

I moaned in his mouth as I felt him biting on my lips and then sucking on them.

All my inhibitions flew out of the window as I lost myself in the feel of him against me.

I was totally and completely at his mercy and my thoughts had long left me at the mercy of his mouth and his gliding fingers which are moving over me generating a spark in their path.

He tried to break away but I didn't realised it and he forcibly broke away while inhaling deeply. I looked up at him with a frown. He gazed at me sweetly before reminding me, "Breathe baby, you need to breathe." he guided me to breathe and I did.

I didn't realised it before he said it but I actually forgot to breathe. I gulped large amounts of air as I inhaled hard, air finally hitting my lungs as I relished in the cool touch of air on my cheeks and felt them cooling down.

I breathed and he did too and just when I opened my mouth to say something, his lips were back on mine.

I tried to keep up with the kiss but couldn't as I clumsily kissed him back. He pulled back and whispered, "Tell me to stop baby, please

Because I can't stop myself." his voice filled filled with agony.

This time I pulled back and looked him in the eye and whispered back, " Then Don't "

His eyes fired up with my reply before I felt my back slipping away from the wall and moving away from it.

He holded me to him clasping my back with one hand and his other cupping my face while moving onto the back of my hair as I felt him gently lowering me onto the couch.

He followed me down, then said, "Yeah because I really can't."