I balked at the realisation that he has heard me berating myself and seemed quite amused with the way his lips has curved up from one side.
A dimple glimpsed on the curved side and I felt myself swoon at the sight, a smirk pulled up on his face as he saw me staring at him.
And suddenly sitting there staring at this God of a man, reality slammed into me that this man, the one who made my toes curled up with the earth shattering orgasm he gave me, he is also my husband.
The one who left me after getting married who still didn't know that I am his forgotten wife, yet.
....
The promise for tomorrow has always made me feel uncomfortable, especially with the way things get procastinated and we ourselves, are uncertain about the next moment.
And so when Si Yihan made plans for the both of us for tomorrow, I sat there silently contemplating on the sheer desperation of my mind which has landed me in this disaster of a situation.
The worst that can happen right now.
He still doesn't know that I am his wife and for whatever God forsaken he hates me, his wife, has left me reeling with dread.
Though I am still in a dilemma about many things and I do have to think things through clear headedly which would never be possible when I am still in such close proximity of the man who makes me forget everything about myself.
So the thinking will have to wait until I am alone and not befuddled with the proximity of him.
But before all that real life situations, I have also got other things which also makes me afraid for myself, my feelings , which I don't know how but has left me shocked with the intensity of it.
I mean I do realise that what we have got is chemistry, sizzling hot one at that but still it is something totally beyond my comprehension level.
I barely make any coherent thought or a sensible decision when it comes to this guy and the plethora of emotions that he made me feel in such a short period of time. It kinda makes me feel afraid.
Afraid of my rising feelings and afraid of everything that is happening so fast that I barely am thinking anymore. My mind has long ago shut off and I am still riding on the high of earlier.
And now that everything is already happening very fast and with the speed Si Yihan has been spewing plans for today, tomorrow and day after I feel panic creeping up on me.
I feel overwhelmed with the lies and guilt, even without actually doing any of it. Atleast technically.
So to calm my rising panic,I have been sitting in my bathroom thinking about things that have changed in the last hour.
A knock on the door pulled me out of my reverie, "Hey, You still in there?"
"Yes where else I am supposed to be" my reply came out with an unintentional snarky tone.
"Nothing just checking in to see if you are still there, you know with your tendency to run away."
"Ran away? How? By jumping from fourty floors down, right into my death right! I exclaimed in a dramatic voice.
He laughed out loud at that as his voice drifted over, "You are funny"
"I merely say the truth."
"Sure. Though now I wonder what are you doing in there if not running off into the night." he asked.
"Well you do wonder alot." I said with sarcasm dripping from my tone.
He tried the door knob once, while wondering, "So when do you plan to get out?"
I gritted my teeth, "Soon. Why are you asking?"
He turned the knob again as a voice that almost came out whiny, "Please come out. I am starving."
I replied before I could think over my words making instant regret shoot up as soon I blurted, "What does that have to do with me? It's not like you're going to eat me." I answered without thinking. I slapped a palm on my mouth at the sheer atrocity that came out of my mouth.
"I...I didn't mean that..." I tried to clarify but words didn't do me any justice as nonsense spewed out of my mouth.
A groan escaped me as I felt my cheeks heating up with embarrassment...God what am I even saying!
In reply I heard a loud laughter that could be clearly heard from the inside as well.
"Baby, why is your brain in the gutter? I am talking about the food, the real food, you know. Though I would prefer having you on the menu too!" he said coyly.
I blushed crimson at that and the past hour, I spended trying to calm myself down went down the drain as my face turned fully riped-tomato red.
I didn't say anything back as I got no words other than nonsense. I silently sat there cursing my stupid brain for short circuiting at the wrong moment.
My attention was pulled back when Si Yohan again called to me, "Now please come out so we can eat the real food. I have ordered food. It shall be here soon."
The promise of food made my stomach growl loudly and I was tempted enough to want to go outside and compromise so I reluctantly got up and washed my face with cold tap water to puff out the crimson from my cheeks, making them go a shade lighter than red.
"Hey on a serious note if it's anything you want to say, you can tell me directly. No need to shy mulling over it. Now please do come out so we can talk about all your concerns." he pleaded and I realised I hadn't replied back to him.
I did a quick check on my appearance, making myself presentable enough and stepped out of the bathroom to find him standing there, finally breathing in easy when he saw me coming out.
He really looked relieved that I came out.