I felt like I was persecuted in a domain where all I could feel was grief. I wish if I ever woke up, it would never happen. I don't understand it and vividly recall; the reflection of that man in the mirror was a different person, but when I looked back at him, I saw the image of my prior beloved. It keeps coming to mind.
Why him of all people? The man I'd rather not see? But the often I hoped for it, the more it will grant to me reversedly accord. At this point, should I just do reverse psychology?
Suddenly, the gravitational force where I felt I was floating in a domain where I couldn't care less and just filled with the thoughts of contemplating suicide at that instant. I felt like a punching bag portrayal in a game who couldn't upgrade and was degraded by the players for not being handy enough, so they couldn't stop looking at it for being such rubbish and redundant. Their nerves would be wrecked just by looking at it. I'm a character who can't achieve and can't do much that they perceived.
Perhaps a gamer who can't figure out how to excel and adapt despite doing countless repetitions and still not winning. A typical moron who has always been outwitted by an obscure twist of fate that wants to unknowingly play with him.
So why did they continue to create this character just to keep it tormented and impractical? Did they create it to let out their grudges?
I'm not completely convinced by the thought of 'that's not the case, and if that character were ever to exist for real, it would be me, the way I conceive and realize it.
My mind is blank, and my body felt like it was being sunk and slowly drifting into the depths of the black hole. I closed my eyes, wondering if these things would ever come to an end.
—
I awoke in another bleak room full of white, while a teen-aged girl shrugged and repeatedly called my name. I was irritated. I awoke once more.
There were two unknown fellows in front of me... People with strange appearances.
There's a dream-like maiden who just sent in land from heaven, a man with specs looking at me, and a girl staring at beside me.
They're all dressed in a soiled plain white long lace gown.
"What are you feeling right now?" asked the maiden with gray hair.
"What I feel... I don't know what I feel, does it even matter?" I asked my response fatigued.
The maiden and man exchanged glances before beginning to introduce themselves.
"Forgive us for interrupting your nap, but please allow us to introduce ourselves. The maiden here on the left is Coeur, and I, Noire, am speaking to you right now, and the girl beside you is Aly. We're God's who testify and look out for a person's life," he stated while placing his hand on his chest.
The kid is bubbly; she has been grinning for quite some time.
When I heard the word "god," I stared at them perfunctorily... the gods?
"Please refrain from looking at us with a displeased expression," he said awkwardly, followed by a scoff.
"Forget it... I don't need your blabbering, where am I... Since you're gods, I must be in paradise, right?" I ask as I rise, but what's strange is... I am in... formal attire? Why am I dressed in a suit? I looked at them and frowned, indicating my curiosity about why I was wearing them.
Suddenly, another strike of a headache began, and I kneeled, gripping my hair. My mind is filled with distinct flashes of film-like incidents that have been fast-forwarded, like a flashback. I screamed and demanded, "What's going on?!" It was so excruciating that I thought I might faint again.
What could it be? What are they insinuating? It came to an end, and I felt my soul felt drained and I slumped.
"You overdo it, Coeur!" exclaimed the man named "Noire" to the maiden, and my vision became faintly hazy. "Do you recall what happened in your former life?" said the lady as she approached me.
"P-past life?" I ask, with a dreary voice.
"Yeah, exactly what you saw a moment ago," she responded while grinning.
That was my prior incarnation, and I began to settle myself and reflect on what I was wearing at the time. The suit, a thought occurred to me, and I began to grasp it. That this is the last outfit I wear before I die. Why am I wearing it the day I died? I'm delving into it again, trying to recollect my memories from my past life, when a sudden deafening noise rings in my ear, and subsequently, I realize and know exactly what's going on.
In my memories, the moment I noticed him on top of me, talking to 'that' preceding lover I had. He appears to be struggling as blood flows through his head, and to the other parts of his body. He rescued me.
My eyes bested up with tears the moment I discover it. I still shed remorse. I wept when I saw him protecting me. Why is he obligated to do so? He was about to die, but he stuck to his guns and said, "I wouldn't regret trying to give my life for the person I loved the most." He was about to die, but he kept his cool and that demeanor. I want to knock the crap out of him until he learns he's going to drop dead, even in his corpse, I want to beat the hell out of him.
Not only did an earthquake strike the company where I work, but it also caught fire during the incident.
He tried to save me but did fail as a consequence, which I knew... I did die. We were helpless. Even if I try to escape every corner of the office remained ablaze, all I could see was the crimsoned scarlet color of the fire and feel the warmth in it as death gradually came by taking us away. With him held in my arms.
I still have a lot of unanswered questions for him, but he has yet to answer, just like the day our relationship faded and was shattered.
Hardly anything nobody is to blame for. I stopped taking a fool of myself when I knew I still harbored feelings for him in my heart.
"Did you finally get some answers to clear your mind?" Noire asked, looking at me and bearing in a bridal style.
"We thought you were fed up, so we decided to let you rest here for a bit and keep you accompanying, sorry for trying to force you too hard," Coeur said as they laid me down on a mattress as smooth as cotton.
I'm impressed that a god can hold me. I attempted to poke him on the shoulders, but my finger just slipped through his clothing.
"You cannot touch us, but we, the appointed gods, can touch you."
"That's too bad, I was hoping to hug Aly," I lament. I wanted to pinch her cheeks because she was so adorable.
-
"Am I being reincarnated or not?" I blurted out all of a sudden, and as soon as they could give me an appropriate response, I would bombard them with questions.
"You got it right. We want to resurrect you for endeavoring to alter the fated life that was given to you in your previous life; at the very least, we want you to live a life full of fulfillment that you would desire," Noire responded.
"What if I refuse?" I intentionally replied with provocation.
"Whether in your favor or not, that's an order."
Order? So they have somebody above them? There's still a hierarchy here? I can't say it out loud since I'm pinned on something that has nothing to do with me. I was still intrigued, and if so, I'd figure it out on my own. I widened my gaze and took in my surroundings. It's merely all white and has brightened my vision.
"Why do I see two different people in the mirror reflection and the figure facing ahead of me or what's in front of my eye?" I ask again.
"We don't have an answer and wouldn't be allowed," they said in unison.
"Heh," I sighed, disappointed but not to that extent.
We'll start deporting you to your new world any minute now. Please lead an enjoyable and contented life.
"That fast?" I exclaimed, stunned.
"Would you like to be where you left or would you like to reset the entire story of who were bound to be born... Please choose," and two different paths appeared. They were both pitch black on the left and right.
If I went back in time, I would die; if I go back to the beginning, I have no idea what awaits me. This is difficult. Why should I have to engage?
How should I proceed?