Exhausted after the game, I immediately grab a bottle of water near the cafeteria where a vending machine is located. Flesh to the bone, internally, all part of me was sore and I felt lousy. Not that this was the first I experience this distressing and draining feeling. Physically excruciating and emotionally tormenting. Everyone use to think that the worse thing a person could ever feel in the internal sense where the feeling of dread and a living corpse out of everything. Molded emotion that everything remained the same regardless of the circumstances, which is tiring. Helplessness.
But I need to disagree with all of those things. What a person could ever feel is not the basis of how deep the suffering is. How terrible the path they'd walked through, and all of those were mere challenges in our life. Those things don't matter. It doesn't matter who's more pitiful to those who are not. It is what they feel at the moment that makes them feel blue. The level of suffering doesn't have a measurement.
The cold breeze of air in the night sky began to swirl like a whirlwind of thoughts that occupied my mind. At some point, this makes me feel alive. I felt so tired that I'll be asleep the moment I closed my eyes. Then suddenly a moist frost feeling damped into my cheeks, and the moment I opened my eyes I saw him.
"It's embarrassing if you fall asleep here", said him while taking a sip from his water bottle.
The light from the cafeteria projects to his face following the night sky from his back. I find it attractive somehow. That my anger turns into a mesmerization and unconsciously painted a smirk on my face. Who wouldn't find that scenery at that time alluring?
"Hey, you're being weird, what's with that smile", said by him while frowning a bit.
"Nothing. You look great tonight. Stop being absent-minded when you're in the game. It's unfortunate when you're about to win but lose a point to the opponent", I waved and said with a smile. I left to grab my bag from the classroom. Yes, that's right. I won the consecutive rounds, he was also close to acing it but forsaken it to him. It wasn't bad gameplay though, what's important is that we still win among all of those groups.
At that sudden moment, Theo let out a scoff and laugh, "It's becoming more interesting in this way. Who would've thought that a gloomy person can smile more brightly than the sun in the daylight? Fascinating."
--
I was on my way to head home with Melinda. I grew more comfortable around him and coincidently encountered him. Melinda immediately waved at him and we just exchanged stares. His friend smack him on the back and he left a groan. That's the last time I saw him that week. In the lobby. It was all vivid, how much I hate it, I can't eradicate it.
--
I will spend the remaining weekends at my job. Sometimes I wonder when the time that I could only rest is when I am dead. Ridiculous it may seem but it is what I felt more possible. At the restaurant, I spent 9 hours in this job of mine where I earn 45 bucks each hour. I spent more time here than I did in school. Luckily I got employed here, this is the most comfortable and stable job I had that lasts long and the wage is stress relieving, my co-workers are kind to me also, especially the manager. I am the one who entertains guests and served them their dishes. That work is the symbol of the restaurant of how well apprised and suited for them, so I did to do my work there, excellently. The last thing that an employee should do here is careless and doesn't take precautions. All of the belongings here are expensive.
"Zoe! Come offer this dish to table 19! Make sure to do it well done, that visitor is a relative of this owner" Said the manager who accompany me to be certain.
"A pleasant evening. Here are the dishes you ordered and we prepared. A bottle of champagne, medium rare cooked au Poivre steak, garlic chicken, black bean noodles, beetroot salad, cream-filled croissant, and sliced moist cake" I stated as I make eye contact with them and serve the food in an elegant and mannered way.
"Well done! This course is magnificent and the crew service. As expected! It exceeds what I'd thought." they respond in praise with amusement in their tone and eyes.
"I am flattered madam, well then, enjoy the dinner", I said and bowed as I leave. Tough call.
When I leave and assure to take a leave for a moment as I go to the comfort room to wash my face and hands I bump into someone and didn't expect that so I immediately bowed and apologize, when I saw a familiar face I am astonished of what I saw. It's him again. Why do I always see him?
"Zoe?! Do you work here?", he said with a dazed expression.
"Ah...Yes. I work here during the weekends..", I respond while awkwardly scratching my nape and fidgeting my fingers. I added and change the matter to what's more important at the moment. "Uhm actually I'm on my way to the comfort room... See you." I rush towards the bathroom and for somehow unexplainable feeling, I felt embarrassed.
"She's too diligent to be working the whole week... Is she always like this?" Theo can't help but wonder.
It's not that challenging for him to distinguish whether she works there at that, just looking at her clothes it's evident that she works there, that's the uniform of this restaurant. A suit, and slacks with a logo on the upper right side.
--
After I encounter Theo back there, I get back on track again and saw him eating together with the person to that I served the dishes earlier. It must be his relative. They must be rich that they could afford a thousand-dollar meal course.
Our eyes met and it makes me wonder if he widened his eyes a bit. And whenever I walk around serving customers, I could feel the gaze following me. After my shift, I decided to go straight to my home and suddenly someone held my hand, I turned to see who it is and I have the feeling it might be him again. But it's the manager, he thanked me and praised my performance earlier, but at some point, I seemed to be disappointed. Maybe because of the reason it's not the person I expected. Maybe I was... hoping too much and getting attached cause I see him every time. I'm afraid. I might get used to this. That even while talking to the manager my mind travels on the notion of; 'why does it isn't him?'. I clenched my fist since I get ridiculed by it more than I think I am. I am supposed to focus on what's in front of me not on the one... that I expected..to be. HAHAHA. Shit.
I must have been out of my mind.
"Hey! Zoe!", Said the manager while waving his hands in front of me, I snap out of those thoughts. Right. I already forgot that I'm talking to him.
"You spaced out, out of nowhere. You must've been tired. I'm sorry I felt like I disturb you. I just felt like expressing my gratitude.", he said as he put. I made him assure and to not make things uncomfortable any further. So I respond, " No need to worry, Manager. It's fine and I feel fine. It's both of our hard work so I want to thank you also" I said as I laugh along with him.
Walking towards the stair to exit the restaurant, I walk through the side of the road as I got home. At this hour, I don't think if I wait at the bus stop there's still some and some I would get fetch and come home safely, in these days, you can't trust anything. Maybe I'll get a freeride when I get kidnapped. Both ways aren't safe, either to walk or wait. Just weigh what's faster and more convenient. Besides walking is efficient and safer due to the late and other open establishments past this hour.
I only even took 4 minutes of walking when suddenly a car stops right beside me, I admit I get frightened a bit, due to these thoughts on what if the worst-case scenario would really occur, but the moment the window of the car opened I see him. I don't know what I felt at that moment happiness or felt at ease when I see someone familiar to me that I felt safe, or, is it longingness? Bullshit.
He look out and said "Hey. I came here loner, to drive you home. Hop in."
"Are you my service or something" I replied sarcastically.
"Well, consider me one at the moment", he go outside for a moment and opened the door for me. Late this hour, where would he have gone, he left more than an hour ago. Just what is he thinking? I doubt for a moment and I bet he notices it. I heard him say while starting the engine of the car: "Don't worry I don't intend to do something immoral. I'll drive you home as I've promised. We may have wondered where would I have gone at this hour. I'm just taking a stroll...."
He's sharp.
Really... Rich people are amusing. Past this hour they go traveling in their cars, I'd notice a pack of cigarettes near the front, he must be taking it.
"Why past at this hour, are you stressed or something", I inquired.
"Likely. I felt bothered nor uneasy", he leaned into me and our faces are close to each other, a feeling that stings and at the same time relieve surged into me and my heart beat rapidly at that moment I felt burning. I gulp and felt in freeze the moment I take a close look at his eyes.