STEPHANIE STARED AT HERSELF IN the standing mirror, while Elise curled her hair, finishing the last strand.
"Thanks for lending me one of your dresses…again." She looked over her shoulder at her friend who shook her head and chuckled.
"It looks better on you either way."
The dress was black and simple for the occasion with spaghetti straps and made with a silky material. She straightened the material and turned to her side to see the cut that revealed a little of her thigh. It was a simple but not too simple and still screamed I'm doing great. Steph lined her eyes in black eyeliner. That was the look she was going for, she wanted them to see her, to acknowledge that she's doing much better without them.
"Well I guess I'm off." She sighed, playing with the ends of her hair. Elise walked over to her dresser and picked up car keys, dropping it into Steph's hand.
"You look gorgeous even if it's just for a funeral."
"Who would even do so, am I right?" Steph snickered, feeling as an insane person but she knew her reasons. She then looked down at the keys in her hand, "Elise are you sure Pete is going to happy about this. He recently bought this and I wouldn't want him to hate me more than he already does by crashing his Tesla."
"Who cares." Elise pinched Steph's cheeks, laughing, "You're my best friend, even if he has a problem with it it's not like the man would say."
"That's right, poor guy is terribly afraid of you." She walked to the door, "I'm totally speechless about you two being able to live together for as long as two years."
"What can I say, I just have a hold on him. Call me once its over?"
"If I still have my breath by then."
The air smelled of flowers and the scent of flowers were of memories to Stephanie. She closed her eyes and breathed in and then out again, exhaling what she was feeling. Her stomach was locked by chains and her heart ached because nothing to her seemed to make sense. It didn't make sense that a place she once love can become one that she hate so easily. She no longer cared about the good memories because those changed when the bad came along. She clenched the staring wheel tightly until her knuckled turned white and her palms cramped.
Where she was parked, in the shade of a tree, a familiar flower fell on top the windshield, getting stuck between the wipers. It was a beautiful white rose and struggling against the breeze its petals escaped the stem one by one, flying gracefully with the breeze.
Steph blinked back her tears but once her eyes were closed, she was back in that memory. An avoided past.
A past where she was in it. Sariah Anderson.
"Can I come here with you again, next year for my birthday. Just us, not sisters." Younger Stephanie begged her mother, grasping her palm tightly as if she never wanted to let her go. She skipped excitedly, chuckling at the feeling of the grass between her toes, "What is here, momma?"
"It's a park sweetheart. And of course we'll be back again but you're sisters will be too. You know we can't not bring them with us, Steph."
"But they…I-I don't like them mummy. I only want to be here with you, not them."
"Stephanie Anderson!" Sariah looked down at her daughter, holding onto her shoulders when she crouched to her tiny level, "Don't say things like that. I know its hard right now but why would you ever say that."
"They're mean, mummy!" Tears ran down her face and she situated her lips into a pout, wiping at her face with her wrists.
"Listen Steph, just because they may make you upset sometimes doesn't mean you should you should think that way, alright? I always want you to be there for them no matter what, just promise me you'll always be the nicer person, my little sunshine. There's enough hate in this world darling, I want you to love." Sariah looked down at the grass and picked up a white rose, placing it against her Stephanie's chest until she took it, "Be as a rose, okay? Roses has pretty petals to give to everyone."
Stephanie opened her eyes to escape the memory and lowered the rearview mirror, staring at her massacra stained eyes from crying in the glass. She sniffled and dried her tears with her wrist before lightly touching up on her under eyes with concealer and eyeliner.
'It's in the past now. Its all in the past.'
She opened the door and before she could leave into the park, she freed the rose from the windshield wiper. She started at the pavement and through the park, walking confidently across the field where she then found a gathering of people, chatting amongst each other before the start of the funeral.
She was surrounding by familiar faces of family but yet people who she didn't know at all. She saw them times before but knew nothing of them, only of their personalities. Their personalities which she hated. They all stared at her as if she was a new face in the crowd, lowering their glasses of champagne so that they could bitterly inspectigate her, head to toe.
She stood awkwardly like a sore thumb at the center of everything, waving to them with a smile then she looked around until her eyes connected with a boy whose been watching her while talking to a girl.
That girl was her sister, Bethany.
As he continued to stare at her a smile took his lips and he placed his drink down before he tapped Bethany's shoulder pointing to Stephanie behind her.
"No way, it's little Steph." The boy shouted, running towards her except he wasn't a boy anymore but a man.
"John? John Derrick." Steph blinked, "You look…different. You have muscles now."
"Yeah and you…uhm…whoa, you look smashing, totally different from what I remembered , you have boobs now."
"Oh shut I always had them."
Bethany stepping behind him, smiled, "He's right. You look hot Steph." She said and Stephanie shrugged.
"That's you, Bethany, always you." She looked just how she remembered her but better. Long red hair in a middle part tied into a pony tail, freckles and full heart shaped lips with almond eyes.
She pulled her into a hug, "Nice to you see again sis."
"Its nice to see you too, Bethany." Her voice cracked slightly but she took a deep breath. Pretend. And smiled as though she meant it. Pretend.
'Be the nicer person.'
"I love your dress." Bethany said after silence and Stephanie nodded, staring at hers.
"Yours is better." It was true, the dress was a like a gown. Diamonds lining every swirl of the patterns and off the shoulder which revealed her tone arms.
"Looking around I could just tell that the team was Beatrice's idea. It looks great. Where is she by the way?"
"It was, yeah. Same Beatrice. You knew how much she loved designs. She's over, talking to that guy. Her boyfriend. They had an argument so she's kind of out of it right now. You know how she gets when she's angered."
"How can I forget." She stared at her, "I'll talk to her once she's finished."
"Great because I wanna get you a drink." John smirked and linked their arms.
"You do?" She looked at Bethany who ushered her to carry on. "Alright but it better be a good one."
John walked fast when he carried them to drink stall, obviously starting to become drunkened. He took two glasses and a unfamiliar bottle of alcohol.
"Try this. You'll love it." He poured more alcohol into his for a stronger effect, "It isn't too strong since I know you're a lightweight."
She chuckled, "You remember that?"
"Of course I do." He knocked his glass into hers and took large gulps of the liquid, "You would get so wasted but at least it was never boring you hearing rant on about stupid things and make a joke out of yourself."
Steph took a gulp out of it, surprised at the taste of bitter and sweet. It tasted similar to a caprison but more tangy which was no wonder John said she would like it. "You're such a dick you know that." She laughed genuinely, snorting a bit and unaware that she had brought attention to herself.
She looked around, suddenly feeling eyes on herself and lowered her voice, "I don't remember all these people. Was I that unaware back then?"
"You look like you want to say something?"
"I do?"
"You've always been this way, Steph. Tell me what's bothering you." He placed a hand over hers on the table.
"I don't know. They just seem weird to me or maybe I'm the weird one. I mean I deserve to be judged, I've never been home in such a long time and all of a sudden I'm back. They must think I'm horrible. I don't belong here, never did." She sighed and stared at his hand.
"Who cares? Just drink and forget their here, that works for me. I don't belong here either, remember? I'm only friend of the sisters. A bad influence as they'll say so come on let's forget this depressing talk and drink!"
She laughed but then frowned, "Why are you being like this?"
"Like what?"
"Nice John, why are you being nice?"
"I don't understand. How do you want me to be?"
"I just want to know if any of this is real, you keep smiling and all I think about is you finding me a joke instead of being genuine. After all that's how you always were, weren't you?"
He ran a hand through his hair, caughting on, "I'm different now, Stephanie. I'm sorry I really am about all those times ago but I was so young back then, I've changed. At least let me show you."
"Alright." She nodded, "You're right I'm sorry."
John looked around over his shoulder before he grabbed another bottle of alcohol from the shelf. "Try this. Its good I swear."
"I do not drink vodka, John. I do not like it."
"You'll like it this way, trust me." He flashed a teeth full grin, before he started his concoction, pouring in tequila, a squeeze of lime and lastly a box of juice.
"Is that cranberry juice?"
"You're going to love it." He added a scoop of ice and stirred it before handing it to her, "Go ahead."
"Here goes." She sipped it, at first tapping her tongue on the roof of her mouth from the different mixes but then smiled. "This mixture makes no sense yet why is it actually good. I mean its all over the place but its good, its—"
"Stephanie? Stephanie is that you."