[Hmm. You're ugly.]
Mendou: [Ok, first of all. That hurts! I'm pretty sure I'm average but I'll appreciate the thought.]
In a large office, I was in front of a woman that heavily resembled Hoshoujo Yuna.
Her long fingers pointed at me while she leaned in on her large desk, observing me quite heavily.
The only difference is that her features were glasses and a mole just under her right eye.
She was also wearing something that I'd mistake for a secretary of a company.
That is, Hoshoujo Emiko, a real-life office MILF if someone would like the four-eyes type with large badonkers.
She looks very young with a very good-shaped body, and if everyone doesn't know, those are natural with the help of a good diet and routine skin care.
Personally, I'd rather get myself a modest one but we're talking about a classmate's mother here.
Hoshoujo Emiko: [...He stares.]
Hoshoujo Yuna: [Because you're doing provocative poses, mother. Please stop doing that, you're old as it is.]
I just realized, but she's doing poses as if we're doing a photo shoot with me as the camera.
I was too nervous to even think about it because with all the bodyguards behind me, one wrong move might cost me a leg.
Emiko: [Surely, this man is not your boyfriend, right?]
Upon the utter of the word boyfriend, all the bodyguards had already surrounded me, even her mother looked like she was about to pull something out from her desk.
What's wrong with this family?!
Hoshoujo Yuna: [No, he will become a servant of mine in school from now on.]
Mendou: [Oi, that wasn't the agreement.]
Emiko: [Hmm. I thought so. If you'd bring home a boy in here, you could at least make it so you have a boyfriend, other than him, f course.]
Hoshoujo Yuna: [...]
"Him," doesn't mean she was referring to me. She was referring to Najimi. It was obvious from Hoshoujo's expression.
She knitted her eyebrows and with one step forward, she took the liberty to stand beside me.
Hoshoujo Yuna: [Why does it matter? I can choose whoever I want to be with.]
Emiko: [It matters because we have an agreement to keep. Besides, if you don't get a competent boyfriend soon, we will make it so.]
I could feel the tension between them rise. The pressure was outstanding. The talk about getting a boyfriend was tiring. I've been standing for 5 minutes!
Hoshoujo Yuna: [Tch. How childish!]
S-Somehow, Hoshoujo walked out of the room and left with most of the bodyguards, leaving only one, which was the secretary of the secretary-looking boss.
Their outfit looked kind of the same, but different in a way.
But... what now though?]
Mendou: [U-Um...]
Emiko: [Erica. Give him a seat.]
Emiko's secretary, Erica quickly went and brought a chair to me, placing it right behind for me to sit in.
Emiko: [I never told you to sit.]
My bottom was halfway touching leisure, and now I'm holding an awkward position whilst leaning front with the entirety of my lower back.
Emiko: [Stand up.]
Mendou: [Y-Yes, Ma'am.]
Emiko: [Hmm?]
Mendou: [I mean, Ma'am!]
I stood up as fast as I can, straight up and tout. I can't believe I'm being played by her despite holding just a neutral expression.
Do they like making others suffer? Are they a family of sadists?! AM I GOING TO GO THROUGH THIS WITH HER DAD?!
Thinking of it, makes me imagine her dad with a much worse personality.
Emiko: [Now sit.]
Mendou: [——Yes...]
Emiko: [No, I mean stop. Stand up again.]
Mendou: [...Yes.]
Emiko: [Now sit.]
Mendou: [...es.]
Emiko: [Ah. That's not right. You're not sitting quite enough.]
Mendou: [——LIKE THAT MAKES ANY SENSE!]
Out of impulse, I got angry and threw the chair to the ground.
Emiko: [———]
Oh no. I got carried away and did it again. I didn't mean to shout and be violent! I'M GONNA GET KILLED——!
Emiko: [Pfft—Bwahahaha! It took you three times to realize you were being played with!]
Mendou: [...]
She's laughing but she doesn't understand that I'm worried that if I piss them off, they can erase my existence on just short notice.
Emiko: [You're an interesting kid. Just like the report said, you are quite violent but rarely hurts someone. You have these little funny outbursts that'll entertain my daughter.]
Mendou: [——Eh? D-Did I pass? H-How?]
Somehow, everything was going well. I don't know, but I acted normally and even accidentally threw a chair.
Emiko: [Well, in short, let's just say that out of all the male friends Emiko brought here, you're the only one who didn't piss their pants or cry.]
Seriously? What happened here? Did she give them the same treatment they did with me? Harsh criticism and insults? If they cried from that, then they're probably babies.
Mendou: [J-Just what the hell did you even do?]
Emiko: [Hm. Let's just say that I didn't like them and so, as a final trial, I revealed their darkest secret.]
Leaning forward, Yuna's mother was having fun insulting kids, making them just burst out running out of that door.
I can tell that they just slam the doors open cause, that door is very new compared to the wall.
But, forget about the small details! I'm just glad that I was given a pass despite being "ugly."
Mendou: [T-Then, I'm glad that I would be of service now.]
Emiko: [Yes, indeed. So, don't try anything, alright? My private investigator did tell me that you are trustworthy, but that doesn't that won't change.]
Suddenly, everything changed from her expression to the aura. She pulled me by my collar and spoke to me with her face just a few inches away from hers.
Emiko: [Lay hand on my daughter, and you will never see the light of day. Do you understand that Mendou Kotaro?]
Mendou: [Y-Yes, ma'am...]
I was frozen on my feet with both of my hands raised.
But, you might be mistaken. I wasn't completely overtaken by fear. I was indeed afraid, but not anymore after I felt that her chest was against mine.
I know I shouldn't be thinking of something perverted when she's currently talking about her daughter!
Emiko: [I don't hear you!]
She suddenly shouted, and with her jolting that way, I was surprised and began to babble.
Mendou: [Yes, Ma'am! I will not lay a hand on your daughter for her mom is already hella hot!]
Emiko: [——?!]
Erica: [——]
Oop. I immediately covered my mouth after blurting out something while performing a salute.
What the heck was I even saying? I'm digging my own grave here by speaking!
Emiko-san and her secretary were shocked. I thought that I'd be able to pass this without any trouble, but I guess I'll have to run through like the rest of them!
I readied my feet to burst back into the door, but just as I was about to put my weight on it, Emiko turned around.
Emiko: [E-Ehem. You flatter me but I'm already married.]
Erica: [That's incorrect. Her marriage was annulled a year ago. She is not married, but divorced.]
Somewhat, the aura once again changed instantly.
Emiko was flustered and turned around to face the other way, fanning her face.
In a sense, I did compliment her, but for a marrier woman to act like this from a 16-year-old boy's flattery?
I'm beginning to question what kind of marriage she ever had with her previous husband that led to this underdeveloped part of her personality.
But, that in itself was eccentric, and I was done for today.
Mendou: [That is information, that I deem unnecessary for me. So if you'll excuse me—Thank you for letting me become Yuna's servant.]
I left and slowly opened and closed the door on my way out. My expression was deadpan since that happened.
I, for one, might have said and thought of that, but to think that her secretary would bright up that her boss is unmarried to a 16-year-old is unusual enough, right?
Isn't that called, grooming or something? Besides, I'm not that gullible. I'll sue them if that happens, but I won't.
Let's just say that I'll allow the moment to happen, yet prevent the future.
Hoshoujo Yuna: [So, how did it go.]
Mendou: [...Eccentric. Your mother gave me the thumbs up.]
I raised my hand and showed her a thumbs up weakly.
Her facial expression already screams the question "What happened?". But do you think that if I said the truth, she'll take it very well? I doubt it.
Telling her that I made her mother blush by complimenting her will just make me more of a pervert, than a normal high schooler!
Mendou: [Please... just let me go back home now.]
Today was quite a tiring day. Double the trouble, facing off with the mothership this early on was unexpected.
And so, my fate had turned to prepare for its course.