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[Author's Note: This line of flowers here will be there to indicate a change in either perspective, time, and or place. Since a lot of people might get confused by the sudden change in the environment.
Anyways, thank you for reading up until now! Feel free to leave a review and suggest what things should I focus on! Your choices and suggestions can and might change the course of the story!
Since I might think that giving the readers the ability to do so might be interesting.]
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Perfect.
Everyone calls me that, yet I don't feel like I am so.
Everyone calls me that, and yet it feels empty being so.
It's my appearance that they call such, and without even knowing the real me, they place their judgment and believe it.
I want to be normal like them, but it was impossible for someone like me who was raised to think like that.
To think that there was nothing better and fun than showing the world...
...the perfect you.
That's what I remember, but someday, I just lost the ability to express my emotions physically.
My face had become something of a doll's, never changing.
It felt like a curse, but until I met a good friend that treated me like any normal kid, this curse became the unique thing that kept us together.
He was expressive, loud, and probably perverted, but he never cease to show his kindness despite saying that he was someone mischievous.
But for me, his company saved me from the imminent darkness that chased me.
That's why, I cherish my friend, Mendou Kotaro the most.
[...]
[Heeeeeey? Are you listening? You look tired. You don't want to be the room muse? If you want, I can take the role for you.]
Once again, at the cafeteria, I sat in front of him to eat. I would always deliberately leave my lunch behind to eat lunch with him.
Since his parents aren't home, no one would wake up early to make him one.
Mendou: [Oi. You're staring down real bad. You sure you good, man?]
Najimi: [I'm good. But maybe you should go and make yourself a bento next time so we can eat somewhere else.]
Mandou: [As to how much I'd like to do that, I'm the kind of person who wakes up just in the nick of time to prepare for school. Any more than that, I'll fall back to sleep.]
I'd like to suggest having my servants make him one as well, but I am sure he'll just refuse it like after the last time.
I have no idea what my servants added, but he said that it would be too embarrassing for him.
Najimi: [I see. Have you tried getting a girlfriend?]
Mendou: [Pfft——Wha?! Well, I already tried before, alright? Let's not try to bring it up.]
I'm kind of jealous that he can show a variety of expressions, but I'm glad that he stays to come with me although he makes a lot of friends.
We've been friends since the time I lost my emotions. Until now, even with the situation, we are in, he still chooses to stay by my side.
He is truly a friend I don't deserve.
Najimi: [Alright...]
He kept on eating, and so it made my appetite as well. Maybe this is one of his abilities to influence people.
Mendou: [Anyways. Hoshoujo. You're going to meet with her in the library again after class, right?]
Najimi: [...Yes. You're going with us, of course.]
Back in the classroom, after all the class officials had been decided, Hoshoujo asked Najimi once again to meet up in the library.
I was told that Kotaro will become our answer if anything happens. Though, even if it was something immoral, it feels liberating.
I could feel something from it, and so I thought that this might be good for me. To be able to express emotions again would be a miracle.
I just want to express myself properly to everyone. Just like Kotaro.
After all, I want him to realize that I am a bad friend.
I've lied about my trait of not showing emotions by calling it a skill that I was told to master, but when in reality, it's a disorder that suddenly came to me.
It was called Alexithymia, a disorder that makes it hard for an individual to recognize and or express emotions.
But perhaps, once I get to express emotions once again, I can properly deliver my thoughts and express my gratitude.
Maybe I'm just being too uptight. He did say that he was doing everything because he is a friend and will always be.
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Mendou: [You betrayed me, Najimi. Why did you do this...?!]
Huh. Maybe I was wrong. Kotaro is going to end our friendship just because I tricked him into going to the library with me.
Najimi: [But we need you, and you told me you won't go.]
But how exactly, you might wonder?
Mendou: [There's not a single book about Apex here at all! There's only chess and checkers!]
I told him that I found a book that was similar to that game we played before in his house.
Najimi: [Oh, I thought it was Apex Predator.]
Mendou: [I mean, you're not wrong but, this is different...]
I brought him the book Apex Predator, where all the listed animal predators are ranked and categorized. I found its name similar to the game, so I thought that this might be useful.
Najimi: [There be some kind of connection, right?]
Mendou: [...No.]
Hoshoujo: [——So, are we going to talk about that whatever that is for long now?]
Suddenly, Hoshoujo spoke right away after Kotaro responded.
She was just sitting right in front of me. I know for a fact that I confessed to her, but all that was just an experiment for me to at least try and feel something from that experience once again.
Yes. It was all an act, as it already happened years ago when I was still myself.
Najimi: [I'm sorry. This just feels too surreal for me to wrap my head around.]
Mendou: [Hoho? Mr. Handsome can't handle a woman? Oh—am I not supposed to speak or——AW!]
Hoshoujo just made a stern face and pinched Mendou by the arm, expressing her anger. I know it's a joke but, I can hardly react or make an expression.
I'm jealous of them, being able to express themselves freely.
Hoshoujo: [Anyways. We're going out, right? So, we're supposed to do something... couple-like, right?]
Najimi: [Mhm.]
Mendou: [Well, looks like someone never experienced dating.]
Hoshoujo: [——Who are you to say that!]
Mendou: [——ACK!]
Again, Hoshoujo slapped Mendou by the arm.
Maybe I'm not jealous anymore. That looks like it would hurt.
Then again, Hoshoujo is taking the initiative today. I told her that I would do everything myself, but it might be because of her pride.
She's true and looks determined today.
Hoshoujo: [Alright. Now that you've mentioned, we should soon pick a club that will suit us better.]
Mendou: [Haah? Wouldn't joining a club risk your relationship being exposed? Plus, Najimi still goes to his piano lessons and whatever it was.]
A club, huh? I've never been to one before because of my other lessons at home.
But, I'll change that starting today. I'll try to express my dislike to continue further in learning things I'm already good at.
Najimi: [It's fine. I've already dropped them.]
I tried to make a smile and lied like it was second nature. They won't be able to tell otherwise.
I haven't dropped them at all, I've just thought of it now after they decided.
But I will definitely, make sure that it happens once I get home.
Mendou: [...Oh, okay then.]
Hoshoujo: [See. So, we'll go and pick a club tomorrow.]
Mendou: [Alright! Then, good luck finding a decent club tomorrow!]
Hoshoujo: [Good luck? You're going with us. You are our servant, and do your service well.]
If I remember, Hoshoujo told me that she took the liberty to bound Mendou to a contract and work for us and help us keep a hidden relationship by being a third person in the group.
I don't know but I can remember something I've watched in Mendou's house before when he left the television open.
It's a three-way love, and they call it...
...Threesome? I think.
I could be wrong. Perhaps I should ask him.
Najimi: [Kotaro, is this a three——]
Mendou: [HAAAAH?! You want me to join the same club?! But I want to join the Games Club! I'll allow it if you guys join there instead! Pleaseeeeeee?!]
Hoshoujo: [No.]
Najimi: [...]
Maybe some other time then. If I could describe today, then I'd say that it's the first time I actually tried to speak.
I couldn't join the waves of the conversation, but I will be able to next time, for sure.