Cold that was the first time I felt, I was cold, water was dripping down my body. Is this the after life I read about? Am I really dead? Oh God I don't want to die.
"Your love for this bastard will be the death of you. You are just too blind to see his intentions." someone said. Wait I recognise that voice, that voice puts me to sleep while I was a child, that voice always scolds me just like she was doing now.
Mom!
Is mom dead too? What is going on?
"We are only here because the lawyer insisted, we will be out of here has soon has the reading is over" someone behind me said. Wait that was definately James voice, he is here too? his voice made me angry. What reading is he talking about?. Only now did I notice I have been staring at the ground, I raised my head up to understand what was going on and there they were. They were all here. Is this some kind of reunion after death?
"That is enough, Be civil Pam. This is what Mum would have want. You can go ahead with the reading" my dad said looking everywhere but at me.
"Whose reading?" I asked turning to the only unfamiliar face in the gathering.
"Your grandmother's?" the lawyer said looking at me like he was asking if everything was okay with me. Oh shit! Grandma died before my wedding to James two years ago. I remeber getting a call from the lawyer while I was with James the afternoon after grandma was buried and it was her wish her will be read a month after her burial. Withing the burial and the reading, James had proposed and we were already married in a court. I was too drunk in love to notice anything back then but now it made sense, he married me because of that phone call. My grandma was a very wealthy person and the only reason I would be call to the reading is if she left something behind for me. I still can't explain what is happening, I should be dead and probably on my way to heaven now. I pulled a seat and sat across from my dad at the edge of the table, he still won't look at me. Did I go back in time? I knew exactly what would happen during the reading, I knew what I would be getting since I inherited half of everything grandma owns. I was her only grandchild after all. The only explanation to all of this would be that I went back in time. For the first time in my life I sincerly prayed that if I truly went back in time, I should get all the strength I need live my life the way I would have wanted. I want to live for me this time, nobody would take advantage of me ever again.
"Since everyone is now present, I will start the reading" the lawyer said looking round the table. Grandma only had one child, my dad. So the table was only occupied by my parents, myself and the directors of grandma's charity organization. James and the house keepers were the only ones standing, he asked one of them to get him a seat since the table was filled.
"There would be no need for that" I said to the housekeeper who was on her way to get a seat.
"I could use a seat babe" he responded, smiling awkwardly.
"Like you said we would leave as soon as the reading is over and I don't think it would take long so you can just stand behind me" I said smiling sweetly at him. "of course" he replied flatly, I knew he was scared of my father so he won't make a scene. I was going to be the queen of pettiness, he would suffer twice as much as I did. All through the reading I spaced out, thinking of how lucky I was to get a second chance at life. I was brought out of my thoughs when I felt James pat my shoulder, I looked up at him to find him smiling down at me he kissed my hair. I guess the lawyer finally got to my part of the reading, the bastard, he is only ever affectionate when he has something to gain from it.
"Dad, can I talk to you?" I asked after the reading was over and the directors of the charity organization already left. James stood beside me looking confused "that is not a good idea babe, we should go" he whispered. I shrugged him off.
"Why?" Dad asked looking skeptical, ignoring James. Dad also never acknowledged his presence.
"Please?" he probably heard the need behind my voice and finally agreed to talk to me, even Mum did seem a little worried just now but she hid it well.
"I will be waiting outside" he said walking away since everyone ignored him. He had probably gone outside to make a call, to tell his mistress the outcome of the reading. Dad and I made our way to the study in the old mansion, he sat at the edge of the table and looked at me. "Are you happy?" he asked after a while. In my previous life James had taken me out of the mansion before I had a chance to even said bye to my parents, saying it was for my own good.
"No, but I want to be. I would be." I said strongly with teary eye. Dad knew me so well I can't lie to him.
"Why are you keeping yourself away from your family?" dad ask still with a straight face.
"What do you mean keeping myself away? You disowned me" I said confused. I remembered cleaely in my previous life Vanessa had called me the day after my wedding telling me how my parent no longer want a child like me, that I was a disappiontment to them. I had been so full of range I didn't bother to call them, since I had James then I thought I would be fine and I didn't doubt Vanessa because she was also close to my parents.
"What nonsense are you saying? You are my heir, my only child why would I disown you?" he looked at me like I was stupid.
I was indeed stupid back then but not anymore. So this was another one of Vanessa's diabolical plan, to isolate me from my family.
"Forgive me dad, I promise to fix everything. I need yours and mum's support" I said. This wasn't the time to dwell on the past it was time to build a future.
"You have always had our support Nene, you are just to blind to notice" he said with a small smile, he kissed my head and left the study.
I left the study much more determined to change my life, knowing I always had my parents support even in my past life was a relief, I had thought they abandoned me. I met James by the car, he looked at me with squinted eye like he was trying to find any difference in me.
"What was that about?" he asked after we got into the car. I always told him everything about me before, that would change from now.
"Nothing to worry about" I replied pulling on my seat belt.
"What did you talk about?" he asked frowning.
"James I just had a long and emotionally exhausting day. Can you slow down with the questions please? If it was important I would have told you" I replied looking right at him so he could see I wasn't joking. The old Penelope would not look at him when she talks, she was just too shy.
"Of course, you will tell me when you have rested" he concluded.
The bastard just won't let it go.
Sighting I leaned on the car window and looked out the whole ride back to our apartment.