Chapter 11 - Chapter 11

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard my classmates scream from the direction to the right.

Soon, three of my classmates appeared and they looked at me with a hopeful gaze.

"Ayano-san! Please help us!"

Right behind them were three to four goblins frantically nearing their backs.

"I-I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

I apologized again and again for thinking that I will disappoint them.

I wanted to help them! I really wanted to!

It made me feel dreadful at the thought of turning my back on my classmates but... Souta-kun's voice kept resounding in my head.

'Leave...'

My trembling legs started moving and again, I ran without looking back.

"Wha- Ayano-san! HELP US! AH!"

I heard my classmate screaming in pain which made my shoulders tremble but regardless, I continued forward without looking back.

I heard them cursing at me but I was already too far away to hear them properly.

As I turned to another spacious hallway, I think I could hear someone else running behind me.

'Please...' Whatever it is that may or may not be there... please let it be my imagination.

But my hope was betrayed after I hear someone gaspinf and saying my name.

"Aya-... Ayano... Ayano-san!"

I really didn't want to turn back but my chest felt heavier and heavier... Each time I heard the voice call out to my name, my heart felt like it was being stabbed by needles.

Add in the fact that I abandoned Souta-kun... that leaves one huge stake stabbed through my heart.

"Ayano-san.. you can... hear me, right? please...! please help me..."

I couldn't ignore it anymore and looked behind me.

What I saw absolutely drained all the blood left in my face.

It was... a classmate but... his face has been completely disinfigured. His nose crushed and one of his eyes has been stabbed.

Cuts and brusies covered his entire body and he seemed to be missing a few fingers from his right hand.

His face brightened up after seeing me turn back.

Tears fell from his eyes out of relief. As if seeing the hope he had lost, he staggered but continued to walk towards me.

My first thought was to catch and huh him but...

I stumbled backwards after tripping on some... meat.

Before I knew it, I was sitting on a pool of blood. My hands trembled after seeing the blood on my palms.

I wanted to scream but then-

"Krieeee!!!"

From behind me, a goblin screeched.

I looked upwards in horror where I saw the goblin' standing right above me. I subconsciously covered my breath after seeing that it wasn't looking at me.

Instead, it was looking towards the student who was following after me.

After noticing the goblin was looking at him, the student paled in fright before stumbling backwards.

"No... No! NOOO!"

He hurriedly tried to stand back up and run.

"D-don't!!"

I don't know why but... my blood stained hand stretched out towards him.

I don't even understand why I did that but...

"Kriieeeee!"

The goblin screeched and ran towards my escaping classmate.

Seconds later, I heard my classmate despairing and painful cries before coming to a complete stop.

...Right now... my legs felt completely weak.

Lying on a pool of blood and... to my right was a plump hand. Turning around, I finally realized what tripped me.

It was... a mangled remains of a person. Tattered uniform which was accompanied by bits of flesh, I somehow understood that this person's body was plump.

The image of my plump classmate flashed in my mind and it didn't take me long to realize that this was him.

"..."

That was then-

𝘋𝘪𝘯𝘨! 𝘋𝘪𝘯𝘨!

[ You have gained 8 Experience points. ]

[ You have gained 13 Experience points. ]

[ You have gained 11 Experience points. ]

[ You have gained 7 Experience points. ]

[ You have gained 14 Experience points. ]

[ You have gained 13 Experience points. ]

𝘋𝘪𝘯𝘨! 𝘋𝘪𝘯𝘨!

[ Congratulations, you have raised your level to level 1! ]

[ You have earned 2 Attribute points and 1 Skill point. ]

"..."

....I-..

"..."

I want to laugh...

It's as if God was playing a joke on me.

And not just any joke, but a real bad one.

"Sniff... sniff.."

Tears uncontrollably fell down my cheeks as I silently wept.

I just-

I can't-

....Why..?

"Kriieee!!!"

I wanted to wallow in despair but Souta-kun's voice resounded in my head again.

'Do whatever it takes to live...'

Those words gave me strength. So while I kept crying to myself, I continue to stand up even with my trembling legs.

"K-krieee!"

Hearing the goblins nearing me again, I no longer hesitated and continued to run.

However-

𝘋𝘪𝘯𝘨! 𝘋𝘪𝘯𝘨!

[ You have gained 9 Experience points. ]

[ You have gained 11 Experience points. ]

[ You have gained 2 Experience points. ]

Oh God... please stop!

Unknown to myself, I began apologizing again underneath my breath.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

I continued to do so even after arrive at a hallway with multiple doors.

"Krieee!"

Hearing the goblin's screeching getting nearer, I ran faster than I have ever done in my life.

That was then, I passed by a room.

At a glance, I immediately recognized three people hiding behind a barricade made of book shelves.

There was a corpse of a goblin lying on the middle but I pay attention to it as I quickly ducked and tried to slip through one of the book shelves' gaps.

But then my waist became stuck.

No...

This can't-

"Krrieeeee!!!!"

Gasp!

I can't- no! I need to-

Ahh... fuck...

For the first time in my life... I cursed.

I looked towards the people inside but they just stared at me.

Yabuki-san was looking at me with confusion while Sasaki-san was glaring at me, with a hint of annoyance.

"KRRIEEE!"

Seeing the two of them not having any intentions of helping me, I thought that this was my punishment.

That this was the karma I deserved after abandoning my classmates.

And yet!-

"P-please help me... please!"

I begged...

I begged them to save me..

I'm so pathetic... I'm so ashamed of myself...

After abandoning my friends... and I still had the gall to beg for my own life...

...I don't deserve to live...

But... why?

Why am I begging?

My self depricating thoughts were cut off when Yabuki-san and Sasaki-san helped me get in.

As soon as I slid in, I instinctively jumped towards the person who seemed the most reliable.

After that... my mind broke.

I kept apologizing in my head after constantly seeing the dead bloody faces of my friends and classmates.

It was so suffocating... the guilt was killing me from the inside.

But then...

I felt wide broad arms wrapping around my body.

And for the first time in this short period of insanity.. I felt at peace.

I let myself succumb to that feeling and soon, my mind cleares up while feeling the soft and gentle caressing from my back.

After that... I don't know anymore...

I just wish... I wish this was all just a nightmare...

That the next time I wake up... I'll be at my bed and get up early...

Make bento for Souta-kun and I...

Go to school and greet everyone...

Yes.. that must be it...

This should be just a nightmare...

Just... a... nightmare...

...

-

𝘈𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘰-𝘴𝘢𝘯...

...

𝘈𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘰-𝘴𝘢𝘯!...

Through the darkness, I could hear a distant voice calling to me.

...𝘈𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘰-𝘴𝘢𝘯.

Could it be Souta-kun? But he doesn't call me with honorifics...

"AYANO-SAN!"

"GASP!"

My eyes shot wide open after waking up to the voice that kept shouting my name.

Directly in front of my face was the naturally white pale face of a handsome man. His black hair with untrimmed bangs usually covered his sapphire-blue eyed.

Unlike Souta-kun's chiseled face, the man in front of me had refined features.

He had thin nose and perfect cherry lips. If he honestly tried, he could become a model or a male idol.

...I recognized this person.

"...Yabuki-san?"

He made a charming smile that made my heart unusually skip a beat.

My thoughts and involuntary actions made me frown.

...Is something wrong with me?

But I had no time to check since I felt Yabuki-san's muscular arm wrapped behind me.

I then realized that I was being held by him.

"Are you awake now, Ayano-san?"

I wanted to say, 'Why are you in my room?' But...

I know... I know that this is the reality.

That I... really abandoned my friends... my classmates and... Souta-kun.

Once again, I felt my eyes getting wet as tears instantly came down my face.

"What have I... what have I done..?" I whispered to myself.

But then I unexpectedly got a reply.

"You lived... that's what you did. Though I can't tell what you did specifically, all I know is that you're still alive."

He then looked at me in the eyes and made this unnaturally sweet smile, one that no one had ever seen from his face since he always had a bored look.

He then continued in a warm tone, "Congratulations Ayano-san... You're still alive."

"Heup!"

Just like that.. I wept.

I hugged him while continued to cry like a child. I vented all my unstable emotions unto him

"I-is it.. is it really fine?! sniff! I- I abandoned... I abandoned them all! I... sniff.. I..!"

"Shhh..."

His large and unusually warm palms gently caressed my head.

He said, "You did whatever you had to do in order to live... Listen, in this world... the strong and smart lives while the weak and stupid dies."

I... I could understand his logic but.. "I-is it... sniff... is it really fine to live? ...even if... even if I lived through the sacrifice of others...?"

I heard Yabuki-san chuckle. "That's totally fine! What can the dead do? Curse you from beyond the grave? Heck, I bet they don't even have any gravesz nor any bodies to bury."

"Y-Yabuki-san!"

I looked at him in disbelief.

He laughed it off.

"Relax, I'm half joking." His face turned serious as he continued, "Ayano-san... It's best if you get rid of your pitiful conscience right now since... You won't last long if you keep holding unto it."

He paused for a moment before continuing, "You don't have to get rid of it entirely. After all, it's better to live with a moral compass.

But what I'm trying to say is that there is no need for you to feel guilty about the death of your classmates.

I'm sure you've most of them sacrifice each other in hopes of making it out alive by themselves, right?"

"B-but I'm not like them!" I tried to deny what he was trying to imply.

Yabuki-dan nodded. "Of course you are. After all you lived and they died. It's as simple as that. Besidesz it's not like you intentionally murdered them right? ...unlike what I did."

He looked away while mumbling something in the end but I didn't understand it so I simply responded to his statement.

"I may not have murdered them but... I abandoned them... I chose to abandon my friends when they needed my help but I...!" My face grew bitter and I was already biting my lips out of anger towards myself.

Yabuki-san looked at me in the eyes. "Miss Ayano-san, I understand that you have a kind hesrt but let me just ask you this... what do you really think you could've done even if you were to go and help them?"

"I..."

...

...I had no answer..

But out of desperstion, I instead spoke what was on my heart.

"At least I would have let them live instead of me-"

"Bullshit!"

This time, Yabuki-san was looking at me in contempt.

"Why do you think you're still alive right now?"

"I..."

"It's because you thought of your own life first before others!"

"But I-!!"

Yabuki-san frustatedly shouted. "Enough!"