"Don't be a hypocrite, Ayano-san. I understand that in your heart or mind, you wanted to help them.
But face reality! You abandoned them! That's what you did! Now accept the result!"
I trembled while Yabuki-san scolded with the tome similar to a parent scolding their child.
I... I found it hard to meet his gaze.
....
..I know! ...I also know that it's useless to keep feeling guilty over what's done!
My head understands but my heart won't!
My feelings kept piling up in my chest but they all somehow got stuck in my throat whenever I looked at the person in front of me.
After a few seconds of silence, he spoke. "I get it... you must be one to think that all life is equal. That you have no right to think of yourself as better than people.
...You have a mentality like that, yes?"
I didn't answer but that was the same as agreeing to what he said.
..And it's true. I was born and raised with that kind of mentality. My parents taught me to never become arrogant or think of myself as better than most people.
"If that's true then let me tell you this. Life isn't equal. In fact, from the moment a person is born, he or she is forced to live in the environment they were born in.
If they're lucky, they get to live in a normal household with a roof above their heads but if they aren't, then they would be stuck on the streets begging others for food."
...I know that.
As if reading my mind, Yabuki-san continued. "If you know that then you need to accept it. I understand that... knowing and understanding is different from accepting."
This time, his words resonated with my thoughts which made me look at him in surprise.
He had a caring expression but wore a sad smile. "I wish... I wish I could tell you that it's alright if you don't accept it for now.
That we have all the time in the world until you accept it and move on but..."
He sighed and spoke in a defeated tone. "Unfortunately... with the situation we're in... we don't have time...
So for now... all I can do is this..."
He pulled me into his embrace while placing his hand on my head and the other on my back.
Slowly and softly, he began caressing my head and back as he spoke in a gentle tone. "I'm sorry to ask this of you... but just for a short amount of time... just until we're both safe... could you become strong?
For both of us?"
I...
Releasing me from his chest, he then looked at me with a warm and caring gaze.
"In exchange... I will carry your sins with you... If you feel blamed or condemned then I will be blamed and condemned with you!"
I...
Tears profusely trickled down my cheeks and the tight chains in my heart loosened a bit.
...I feel like... I feel like I could finally breathe.
The idea of not going through this life alone... Just that one idea... was enough to give me strength.
With quivering lips and stiff breaths, I wept once more and leaned closer to his chest.
Yabuki-san....
Yabuki-san!
....Yabuki-san...
I continued to cry inside his arms for an unknown amount of time.
But at least for now... For now I could breathe.
Soon... both my chest and mind felt lighter. My emotions cleared up and my breathing returned to normal.
"...Thank you... Yabuki-san.."
His cool voice responded. "No problem."
Remaining in his arms for a few more minutes, I noticed that I completely drenched his clothes with my tears.
This made me feel ashamed and embarrassed and quickly pulled away from him.
"I- I'm sorry about your blazer..."
He simply laughed it off. "No problem."
After becoming quiet for a few more seconds, that was when I realized that we were in a very... very awkward position.
...How could I not notice this?
When did I do this?
More like... how long have we been in this position?
My two legs wrapped around Yabuki-san's waist while I sat directly on top of his lap, with our stomach stuck to each other.
Naturally, this also meant that.. I was on top of his crotch and...!!
"Ayano-san? is something wrong?"
Uhm... should I... should I say it?
That I'm... feeling something hard?
Oh no!
It just hit that spot directly!
As soon as I became aware of it, I felt an electrifying current which scattered throughout my body.
Oh my!
Oh no... Oh no... Oh no...!
My mind was being overrun by emotions. Shame, Embarrassment, Confusion, and even a little bit of pleasure?! I don't even know what to think anymore!
Mouuu!
I decided to stop acting shamefully and immediately stood up from Yabuki-san.
I was so ashamed that I couldn't even bear to look at him.
Yabuki-san didn't seem to mind my rude actions and simply stood up by himself.
"Glad to see you're energetic, Yoshimura-san." A cold voice spoke.
That was when I remembered that Yabuki-san and I weren't the only ones in the room.
Turning towards the owner of the cold voice, I greeted her.
"S-sasaki-san..."
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Yabuki Jin Pov
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Seeing Ayano-san's flustered face made me want to tease her.
But I noticed that Reika and Anna-chan were staring at me with shocked faces.
"...What?" I asked.
"N-nothing... Anyway, It's nice to see you energetic, Yoshimura-san."
Reika coughed and spoke to Ayano-san with her usually cold and sometimes condescending tone.
Oh now I remember, Yoshimura was Ayano-san's last name.
...But it would be strange to start calling her by her last name now so I'll stick to her first name.
"S-sasaki-san..."
"Would you mind telling us what happened? Why is your hands and skirt drenched in blood?"
"W-well..."
And after that, we spent five minutes listening to Ayano-san's experiences.
Filtering through her cries and mumbling voices, basically, what happened was that one of our classmates fucked up and led a group of goblins inside the first room where half of our classmates stayed.
As for others, she didn't know because she ran away by herself. Oh and I certainly did not expect our harem protagonist to be raped right in front of one of the heroines.
Damn... Condole- actually no. You might have deserved that for being a harem protagonist.
Of course, It would be a different case if I was the harem protagonist.
Hypocrite? Maybe. I have double standards, so what?
Besides, who wouldn't want to embrace women especially on the tier of Ayano-san?
But of course, that's just the degeneracy inside me talking.
Anyway... Through the entire time that Ayano-san was recounting her experience, she was holding my hand tightly.
I may not have experiences but I had enough common sense to know what she wanted which was some kind of support.
She's at her lowest and needs someone to support her.
Which is why I did what I did. This must be also why Reika and Anna-chan were taken aback by my change of personality.
Of course, I'm not delusional enough to misunderstand this nor get some romantic ideas about her.
In the first place, while Ayano-san was very beautiful, her personality wasn't my type.
Plus, I have to always pretend to be nice and caring around her so yeah, I could never fall for her in a romantic way.
Not that I find her that interesting anyway. Just like how I already forgot the harem protagonist's name, my interest to her is on the same level.
The evidence to that is that I forgot her last name.
The only reason I helped her is because of what Reika said earlier. "She might become useful."
So now that we helped her, might as well do my best in doing so, right?
I calculated my words and actions in order to attain the goal of "Having Ayano-san hold herself together."
And the result was, as expected, Ayano-san managed to retain her sanity even though she had an innocent and kind soul.
Most people with her personality would flat out break after going through the traumatizing experience she went through. Actually, she was already on the verge of breaking but fortunately, I got to her and prevented that from happening.
...Well, I certainly didn't expect her to be this overly dependent on me.
To the point where she's still holding my hand right now.
Reika has been glancing towards my conjoined hand with Ayano-san for quite some time now... Is she getting jealous?
Hah! Now that would be really funny.
Alright, let's get our mind out of the gutter and get back into reality.
Reika maintains her cold gaze while looking towards Ayano-san
After a while, she spoke. "Alright, there is one more thing I wish to know..." Trailing off her voice, she took several steps towards me and Ayano-san.
Ayano-san felt nervous which I could tell from her trembling and sweaty hand.
Reika then stopped a few inches in front of us before leaning towards Ayano-san.
...This Reika... why is she intimidating Ayano-san so much?
I mean I know that she hates people like Ayano-san but... come on, really? Like, does she have to intimidate a person who just went through a traumatizing event of a lifetime?
"Yoshimura-san..."
"...Y-yes, Sasaki-san?"
Reika's eyes narrowed. "What is your class?"