"Because I was late for class?" I ask Mr. Holland. It's my only guess on why he has asked me to stay behind.
"No, the reason I wanted to talk to you is that I think you might need a little more help outside of class. Since it's only the first few days, I'll watch you more next week and decide then if you need extra help." I'm beyond shocked when Mr. Holland says this to me. Sure I've always been a little slower to catch on to the material than my classmates but no other teacher has ever suggested a tutor and Mom even asked one time.
"What?!" I exclaim. "I know math isn't my strongest subject but I don't think I need a tutor. Not yet at least." He seems to be annoyed by this which in turn, pisses me off.
"Well Marjorie, we'll see after next week if you need to stay after school or at lunch. I want all my students to succeed and whether you like it or not, extra time will help you do that." He then leans toward me and puts his hand on my shoulder and sort of squeezes it. "I only want what's best for you Miss Clark." As soon as his fingers touch my shoulder I flinch and he immediately pulls away his hand but not without smiling a little first. I am still deeply disturbed. How dare he touch me like that and while hinting that I'm stupid! All I want to do is punch him in the face so much, so I stand up quickly and run out of the room so I don't do anything I will regret later.
I'm late for my next class but it's fine when I explain that Mr. Holland kept me late. So I guess the rumors were true, he is a pedophile. And he wants me to stay after school with him alone in his classroom to 'work on math'. My eyes start to tear up just thinking about it and my Spanish teacher Senora Rosa notices that something is wrong. She comes over to me when the class is given free time to work on homework and asks,
"Marjorie, what's wrong Mija?" I start crying more because of her genuine concern and consideration for me.
"Can I call my Mom to pick me up to go home? I don't feel well." I'm barely able to speak and I can see some kids starting to look over at me.
"Sure, I'll write you a pass to take to the office to sign out." She goes to her desk while I pack up my things and text my mom to come pick me up now! She responds quickly saying she's on her way over.
I can't help but let the tears come as I walk the empty hallways to the front office. This year is not going how I had imagined it. I'm used to a low-key not being noticed by anyone life but suddenly it feels like everyone is watching what I'm doing all the time and I'm not used to it.
Mom and I don't talk at all on the short drive home but when we do get home, she follows me into my room.
"Mar, what's wrong honey? Are you sick?" She puts the back of her hand to my forehead checking for a fever.
"No Mom, I'm not sick but god! I just hate my math teacher so much!" I start crying again.
"Why Mar? Did he say something today?" She asks as she pulls me into her and gives me a hug. I tell my mother everything from when Ian and I were late, but not that I like him, to Mr. Holland calling me out and making me stay after class and suggesting a tutor. I can't seem to tell her about him touching my arm though, I just feel too embarrassed and scared to even think about what a touch on the arm can lead to.
"Oh, Marjorie! I'm sorry that happened, I don't want you to struggle in class but I believe you when you say you don't need a tutor yet. I'll email the school and talk to them about this." She gives me some tissues to blow my noise which is running a whole lot and then goes to the kitchen to make me some tea.
I start to feel better and I'm just curling up with Mr. Carrots when I get a notification on my phone. It's Amelia wondering why she hasn't seen me at my locker and if I'm okay. I text back that I'm fine but I'll tell her all the details tonight when we hang out. Mom comes back into the room with a steaming cup of tea and suggests that she takes the rest of the day off from work, even though it's still morning, and we watch a show together. I give her a small smile and follow her down the hall to the couch.
It's much later and I'm in Amelia's room telling her about why I left early today.
"Are you serious!? Did you tell anyone about that asshole? You need to tell someone, at least your mom!" Amelia shouts as soon as I've told her everything.
"I haven't told my mom yet. I don't know, I guess I feel embarrassed by it." I can't make eye contact with Amelia as I say this.
"No, you shouldn't be the embarrassed one. That asshole teacher is the one who should be embarrassed when the school fires him and we expose him." She then starts storming around her room calling Mr. Holland much more than just an asshole but all I can think of is if this gets out, people will pay more attention to me and that is something I don't want.
"Seriously Marjorie, this is something that has to be taken care of right away. I know you don't like being the center of attention or speaking up about stuff, but this is something you cannot stay quiet about." I look down at my lap. She's right, but I still do not want to tell anyone. I know what he did is wrong and I know you should tell a trusted adult as soon as something like that happens, but I'm honestly wishing I never told Amelia so that I wouldn't have to listen to her pressure me into telling someone.
"Yeah, I know. And I will tell my mom, later tonight." I tell her this only to shut her up so we can move on. She looks at me doubtfully.
"Okay, Marjorie. You better tell your mom or someone." I don't think she believes I will tell anyone but she drops it for now and moves on to more exciting topics. "So, tell me more about prince charming. And HOW YOU FLIRTED WITH HIM!" I laugh, relieved we're talking about Ian now.
"I honestly don't know how I flirted with him. I'm not even sure you would call it flirting but talking to him just felt so easy and he laughed at all my stupid jokes."
"This is so great Mar! This is the closest either one of us has ever come to having a boyfriend." Right after she says this, one of her Mom's knocks on the door and peeks her head in.
"Hey girls, we're done with the TV in the den so you two can go watch your shows now."
"Okay, thanks Mom, goodnight." We head downstairs to the den and find one of Amelia's older brothers, Danny, on the couch.
"Ugh, Mom said Mar and I could have the TV now," Amelia complains to Danny. He barely looks up from his racing game.
"Just give me a second, I'm almost done with this level. Hey Mar." Danny mumbles, as we sit next to him on the couch and wait. Danny is only a year older than Amelia and me but he acts immature all the time, which I guess is because he's a teenage boy. Amelia's other brother, Lucas, is pretty nice to us and is currently a freshman at Community College. I sometimes see him around their house but other times I can go weeks without seeing him once. When we were younger, I used to have a crush on him just because he gave me a popsicle when I fell off my bike once. It took me until 7th grade to get over him. I still haven't told Amelia or anybody to this day.
Finally, after what feels like forever, Danny hands the TV remote over and Amelia and I dive right into the Full House universe, my mind still partly thinking about the past two days. They have probably been the most eventful two days I've had since a kid and just thinking about everything that has happened makes my head hurt. I need this weekend more than ever now to recover from everything.