It's April 11, 1969, on this Sunday Night Jimmy Smith killed a man.It says so right here on this here journal, it's well detailed as if he wrote it in the spot.Before you're intrigued by the diary of a madman, keep into account that he lives no longer.Any heinous acts you fear he'd do won't occur, I'll tell you about his demise soon enough but just pay attention to his upbringing.
Aurora, Colorado, September 15, 1962, In a peaceful neighborhood lived a family of trouble.Jimmy is waking up that morning to his sister fighting with her boyfriend.
"God just get out of my life !" She yells as he arose from his bed.He sleeps in a small room that only has a bed and a drawer for his clothes, along with a window covered in drapes.
"You're a crazy bitch !" He yelled back as they fought in the hallways.Think about it, it's eight in the morning and he has to deal with this.He opened the door as he walked into the bathroom.They continued to fight as he just nonchalantly ignored.He locked the door as he looked himself in the mirror and fixed up his hair with water from the faucet.He puts some cold water on his face and cleans up with the same dirty shirt he wears.He fixed his posture and then got back into character as if he's speaking to an audience.
"The remedy of peace
Is the illusion of Violence
I love that quote, ladies and gentlemen- If you're watching this with others; watch with caution that you'll hate this.
If you're watching this alone, the hells wrong with you ? "
He said all this towards the mirror as his demeanor changed.You can still hear the fighting outside as Jimmy's older brother got involved.Jimmy ignored it as he continued his little act.
"Alright folks, enjoy this Marvelous misconception of a menacing Movie.And remember now,
The illusion of violence is the massacre of an unbalanced society….thank you and Goodnight !"
He yelled out as he looked around is he was being cheered on by an audience.He looks at the floor as he sighs smilingly, he opens the door.In the moment he gets accidentally hit in the face by his brother as he's fighting his sisters boyfriend.
"Dad !!!!!, tell Sam to let him go !" She yelled to her father who's barely entering the home.Jimmy was hurt as he closed the door again as he looked in the mirror to see he's bleeding.Outside, Sam and the boyfriend fight all around the home until they end up in the living room.Dad breaks it up as he yells
"Hey, Hey !!!! Stop that shit you idiots !" He got Sam away as Sam stood in the kitchen in anger.The boyfriend stood in the living room as he was bleeding from his face and got beat badly.Sam had a bloody nose and felt hurt from his Ribs.
"You two want to fight you take that shit outside, never in this house god damn it …." He yelled as he looked at them both in disappointment.
"You, get the hell out, go work or something, you know do something !" He yelled at Sam as he exited out the home in a fit of rage.Father turned to the boyfriend and said
"You too, get the hell out, now !" He yelled as Jimmy's sister got involved
"Dad no, he ain't do nothing wrong -!" She yelled as dad interrupted her and said
"Elizabeth you go to your room, right now ….now !" He yelled as Elizabeth furiously stormed off into her room and slammed the door as she yelled
"To hell with this family !"
Dad turned back to the boyfriend and said
"You heard me boy, walk the line, get the hell out !" He demanded as the boyfriend obliged in arrogance.Jimmy's dad isn't no guy who likes to get pushed around now, he's about six-foot-six and weighed about 235 pounds.You don't just argue back with him, he's a beast of a man.The boyfriend slammed the door on his way out as dad looked around the living room in stress.You can now get back to Jimmy who's been cleaning his face up with toilet paper as he clogged his nostrils with it.He stepped out as his dad turned to him,
"Nose bleed ?" He asked as Jimmy responded
"Yes sir …." His dad helped him out and said
"Get some napkins, don't use the toilet paper up idiot ….." they approached the kitchen as his dad passed him some.
"Take those things off and pinch your nostrils, come on you gotta learn this stuff …." Jimmy removed them as he still bled profusely.
"Go sit down and lean forward a bit, don't left your head up, that's stupid ….just wait a couple minutes and you should be good …" The dad walked out of the kitchen as he headed for the restroom.Jimmy sat there in silence as he still had that dream he'd envisioned in the bathroom.
All you could get from this kid is an ambition to be somebody, never be forgotten.From what you've read, you can sense sympathy for this miserable bastard, but don't.He's soon to celebrate his 18th birthday, October 16, 1962.Jimmy wrote in his journal that he had a depressing birthday.He was a friends house and was just hanging out and enjoying himself.
"Aye so how's that girl you've been talking too ?" Asked his friend to another friend.
"Well tomorrow, we're going to the park….just me and her …." They both were having their conversation as Jimmy was staring out the window.He was looking upon a man playing his guitar to a crowd in front of his friends home.They kept chatting in the room as one of Jimmy's friends noticed his glancing.
"Jimmy, you alright man ?, come here s celebrate…." He called upon him as Jimmy walked towards them as he replied
"Celebrate what , more time on this earth ? " they all were smirking at the thought.
"Don't think like that, it's your birthday and we're gonna celebrate…." The friend of his got out a bottle of whiskey as the other friend had the shot glasses ready.
"Alright then, let's celebrate then haha …" said Jimmy as they all cheered him on in that room as they started to pour some shots.
Oh they drank and drank until the friend was ready to bring out another bottle until Jimmy said he's had enough.Jimmy went back to look at the window as that man still played his guitar to the people, Jimmy headed out of the house to see it more up close.
"Where you going ?" Asked a friend as he ignores them and went out, they followed him drunkly.He stood amongst the crowd as he heard the man do a cover of "Cry ! Cry ! Cry ! " by Johnny Cash.The crowd was in silence as they heard the man sing, Jimmy was mesmerized.With the man's singing of course but even more with the attention he got, it's what he always fantasized.He was about to wrap up the song as one of Jimmy's friends whispered to him
"You like this crap ?" Jimmy turned angrily and said quietly
"If you don't like it, go back inside…" Jimmy turned back to the man as he finished and people started to cheer him on and clap.Jimmy clapped in amusement as he felt astonished at the man.
"Thank you very much ladies and gentlemen, have a good night now y'all and get home safe !" He said into the microphone as people have him one last cheer.He started to walk away as the crowd dispersed, Jimmy followed the man.
"Excuse me sir, sir !" He yelled out the man as the man turned to him and replied
"Yea ?" Jimmy was in smiles as he said drunkly
"That was amazing, really, real- really , good !" The man could tell Jimmy was intoxicated as he talked friendly
"Thank you friend, if you'd like to remember my voice, go to Welsh Records down in City Center …." Jimmy was at a still as he mumbled "okay, I will, yea, yes -yes …." That man walked away as he entered his car and drove off with his little entourage.Jimmy stood there with his friends along side him
"Hey man, imma go back inside and it's getting kinda late, you want a ride home ?" He asked him as Jimmy said
"Hmm, yep …." They stood on that street as that man drove off to god knows where.Jimmy just couldn't get that image out of his head, the love that man got.
It took him a couple months but Jimmy saved up enough money from working as with his brother as a door to door salesman, Jimmy just drove him around in that 57' Chevrolet Nomad.He saved up enough to buy himself an acoustic guitar.Well he said he started self learning for months but god he was awful.It was February 11, 1963 when he got his first gig.He was backstage as he waited for his turn to go up and sing as he was nervous.
"Aye kid, you're up next come on !" Yelled put a man as he looked himself in the mirror again and took a breather.He was shaking as he had his guitar in his hand and his legs were twitching badly.
They finished us as he was forced to go next as he said
"I'm not ready ! Hold on !" He yelled out as two men walked him up to the stage.He took a moment as the crowds of hundreds awaited for him in second-hand embarrassment.
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen ….." he said a bit quietly as a man in the crowd yelled out
"Can't hear you !" He took a moment as he said again
"Good- good evening ladies and gentleman !" He said it more loudly as fixed his posture but still sweating.
"Well today imma be singing an original for y'all, so have mercy …hehe ….." he got himself ready as it's just him up on that stage, feeling like death is watching.
Before I'd go on I another story of when he was younger.It's his 11th grade drama class, he was quiet it but still had heart.
"Alright Jimmy, you're up, come on …." Said his teacher, the students all looked at Jimmy as he slowly got up and went up to that stage of the class, yes an actual little stage in the classroom.
"Alright say you're name and what you're gonna perform …." Said the teacher as Jimmy took a moment and replied
"My names Jimmy Smith and I'll be performing The Zoo Story by Edward Albee , it's still kind of fresh but Imma give it a go …." The teacher nodded in anticipation as Jimmy got a chair and placed it down.Well he started to perform as it was going very well, he knew his lines, got those little pauses in between moments and executed it flawlessly.Jimmy got up and said
"And scene …" he took a little bow as they started to clap, his teacher was impressed.
The clapping settled down as Jimmy stood there as he was out of breath, still trying to catch it.
"Jimmy….that was ….uh- wow, just so raw and natural you know, you've got it, have you taken acting classes before ?" He asked as Jimmy replied
"No sir …." His teacher was even more impressed as he said
"Well you're a natural, really really good, come in let's get one more round of applause for Jimmy huh !" He yelled out as they clapped for him again.Jimmy went and sat back down as another kid was getting ready to perform next.
Now you've gotten some background, let's get back to his singing.He took another moment as
a man yelled "any day now !", some people laughed.He finally positioned himself and started singing, god it was a mess.In his mind he was perfect but in reality he was out of touch, and off beat, sounds like he was crying when singing.
When he wrapped up it made people silent due to what they have witnessed, some people started to laugh in utter embarrassment for Jimmy.Jimmy stood there for a moment as a stage worker walked him off stage
"This way, come on !" He was getting booed as the next set was getting ready to perform.
"Wow I don't know what the hell that was ? Haha " said the person who was getting ready to sing next.Jimmy was heartbroken, he's gotten his shot at stardom and just fumbled it.
Jimmy never forgot how awful he felt that day as stated in this here journal.He stated
"I've never felt like killing myself more than ever now, I could just pull a James Dean on my way home….." it's horrific these stories of his.Like look at this incident he wrote,
May 16, 1955, he was about 10 years old at the time.He was with his father at a boxing match, it was Marciano Vs Cockell.We weren't so close to the ring but we could see the fight.Jimmy was in love with the sport of boxing, he mainly loved Archie Moore but he can tolerate Marciano's style.Well that exact fight, his father got him box of dots and was happy to watch the fight.As they cheered on, Jimmy was watching a couple of white men bother a black man for no reason.
"Aye boy how'd you get in here ? " said a man as another added on
"Don't get too close to em, they'll jump ! Haha!" They all laughed as Jimmy turned to his father as his dad looked down and him and asked
"What ?" He was still in love with watching the fight as Jimmy asked
"Those men are bothering that boy dad…." His dad turned to see this and shrugged it off.
"Eh it happens, can't do nothing about it …" he got back to watching the fight as Jimmy just stared at the men bothering the black man who's feeling out of place and uncomfortable.With that incident it shaped an idea into Jimmy's idea for a while until his brother educated him when he got older.
We'll back to it, Jimmy got him with his guitar in the passenger seat as he felt defeated.He walked into the home with his guitar in hand as he was on the verge of tears.He walked by his dad who's in the kitchen making ribs.
"Jimmy what's wrong, you okay ?" He asked as Jimmy stormed into his room in anger as he nearly went to break that guitar.He calmed down as he laid it down calmly and laid on his bed in sadness.