TW! DRUGS AND SH, mention of death
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You opened your eyes. Somehow you were in your old house, back in Texas. You walk downstairs to see your dad sitting at the table. "Hi sweetie," he says. You almost cry and give him a big hug. Your mom walks in and starts fighting with him again. Then, you remember what day this was. The whole memory replays in front of your eyes. You sit in the corner and scream and cry.
You woke up screaming, Eddie was holding you in his arms. "Ellie are you okay?" You hyperventilate for a second and then calmed down. "I'm ok," you say calmly, "it was just a nightmare." You look at the clock. 4:30 A.M.. Eddie pulls you back into bed and starts rubbing your back. "Go back to bed, darling." He kisses your forehead.
Eddie wakes you up a few hours later. "Sweetheart, do you think you can go to school today?" You think for a second. You know you should, but you have the choice. You feel better, but the thought of actually doing things hurts your brain. "Not really..." "Ok," he says kissing your forehead. He leaves his room. After a few minutes, you hear arguing. You started having flashbacks.
"Get the drugs," the voice said in your mind. You pick up some stuff from the lunchbox and run out the window to your house.
You began talking to yourself, "why do I listen to the voice in my head? People are worried about me!" You walk into the kitchen and grab a small knife. "Will this make you shut up?" You cut into your arm. For some reason the feeling of blood dripping from off of you made you happy. Like finally, you were punished, and no longer had to live in guilt. But your guilt was so heavy, you did it again. Then, you realized what you did. You washed the cuts. You took a shower, and the warm water made them sting, but you didn't care. You got dressed and put on a long sleeved shirt and pants. You put bandaids on them. You hid the drugs and knife in a box and put it on top of your ceiling fan. You cried for a second. "Why did I do that?" you muttered. "Because you deserved it." You heard a voice, but it sounded like your dad. You slam your head on the wall. "You're right." Max's mom came in the room.
"Are you okay?" she asked, "are you crying?" "Yeah, I just hit the wall on accident, and no, it's these stupid allergies!" "Same," she said, "they're bad right now." "I heard you missed first period yesterday." "Yeah, I woke up late, sorry." "It's ok, I do it all the time." "Well," she said, "I'll let you get ready."
You laid down on your bed. All you could think about was your dad's voice, over and over again. You began seeing objects moving around the room. Walking very fast, talking, but in a language you didn't understand. "Hello?" they all stared at you. They slowly crept near you. Chanting something. You close your eyes and plug your ears. You start breathing heavily. Something touches you, shakes you, to be specific. You hear a familiar voice, saying something you do understand, your name.
"ELLIE?" You open your eyes, and you're in the corner of your room, on your bed. Tears are falling down your face. Eddie is sitting in front of you. "Eddie, there were... and they were chanting... they were coming to me-" "Shh, calm down," he cradles you. "What was it?" "These...figures. They were only blank and white." "That's weird," he looks at you, "you're safe now." He kisses you. "Let's just stay here and-" "No, I have to go." "Baby, you don't look good." "I don't care... Why was your uncle yelling at you?" "Oh, it's about my absences." You rub your arm. "You ok?" he asks. "Yeah," you move your hand off your arm. "I love you, Ellie," he says. You begin crying. "I love you, too." All you can think about is what you just did, and how much its going to hurt him. "Darling, why are you crying?" he says to you gently. "I don't know what's wrong with me!" You shout. You hear your door open. "Ellie," you hear Max say. Eddie gestures to get out. You just hug him. "You can always talk to me, I promise. You're safe with me." "Ok," you choke. You hug him for a few more minutes and then get up. "We should get going," you say. "Ok," he says, "let Max know."
You go into Max's room to let her know and she hugs you. "Maxi-" "I love you, Ellie. I hope you know that." "Well don't make me feel bad," you giggle. "Promise me you'll be okay!" "Ok, ok fine, I promise." You cross your fingers behind your back. "Eddie is taking us hurry."
Eddie is sitting outside his van smiling. "Good morning!" Why is everyone so happy? Eddie opens your door. "Why do you do that?" you laugh. "Because I am a gentleman!" he says in a goofy voice, "and I love you!" He kisses you on the forehead. Max, for once, isn't disgusted in our affectionate ways, she's rooting for it. Eddie looks so happy today. He drives off to school while singing with us. 'I Was Made for Lovin' You' came on and you got excited. Eddie turned it up. "I was made for loving you baby, you were made for loving me!" Eddie and Max joined in. "You like that song?" Eddie asks. "Yeah, it's fun and loud." He smiles and continues driving. You arrive at school and meet Nancy at the front. "Hey!" you say. "You're excited." Nancy grins. "Bye, Ellie," Max says going to her class. Eddie is clinging to your arm. "Bye! Yeah, I'm working on it." "Let's get going." Eddie says. "Bye, Nancy!" "Bye, Ellie." You and Eddie disappear into the crowd of students.
"Eddie, Ellie, here's your work," Ms. O'Donnell says cheery. You smile and take your seat. "You're happy all of the sudden. Why?" Eddie smiles. "I pushed away my demons." you say back, focusing on your work. Eddie looked at you for a second, trying to decipher what you meant, but brushed it off. He looks at your paper. "What does this mean?" "Ennui?" "Yeah..." "like a feeling of dissatisfaction, a lack of excitement." "So like...bored." "Yeah, I guess." "Thanks," he says, scribbling on his work. "You know if you need help, I'm here. I know your failing-" "YES!" he says. "Only if I get something in return!" "Hmm, I'll teach you how to play guitar." "Deal." You lean over his paper and explain a few things. The bell rings and you actually focus, for once. You get all caught up on your work before the period was over.
Kaminsky's class was next. "Today were going to dive deeper into chemical bonds. Now... Ellie, what is an Ionic bond." "Uhm, a bond that takes place... after the complete exchange of electrons." "That is correct." he says almost surprised. "Eddie, since we're going around, what is Covalent bond?" Eddie turns pale. I point down at my paper while looking around. "Bond takes place after sharing of electrons?" "That's also correct?" he says confused, "good job!" "He was just testing us since we came in late yesterday." You whisper. He smiles and starts taking notes.
By the time lunch comes around, your burst of energy is fading. Eddie says he will grab food for the both of you, and to go ahead and sit at the table. You take a seat at your normal spot. "So, how's it going?" Dustin asks. "It's doing fine, the sky's still up right?" you look out the window. Gareth and Jeff laugh. "I think it is," Mike says looking up. "How are you and Eddie doing?" Jeff asks. "Fine," you say playing with your ring. "what's with all the questions?" "Well, you hardly talk to us." Mike says. "Eddie is constantly talking about you." Dustin says. "Really?" "Oh definitely," he says shoving food in his mouth. You smile. "I don't know what you're doing, but you're good for him." "Really? Why?" "He seems..." "Happier." everyone says in sync. Eddie brings over your food. "Hey, what are you talking about?" "Nothing," you smile, grabbing your food. Eddie sits down and the whole gang starts talking about hellfire.
"Ellie," Dustin says, "did you hear about Steve's party?" "No?" you say. "He's throwing a party for a select few." "The demogang," you say in an 'epic' voice. Water comes shooting out of Eddie's nose and he starts laughing. "THE DEMOGANG!?" You laugh at the water coming out of his nose. "I think it's perfect," Mike says laughing. The boys continue talking about the dnd tonight. "Are you coming tonight, Ellie?" Gareth asks. "Yeah," you say unsure. "You can just ride with me," Eddie says cleaning his mess. "oh, and guess what!" "What?" "I failed a test today." "Ha, you suck." The whole table was looking at you two. "Oh, fuck you." he smiles. "When?" you ask grinning. The table looked kind of shocked. Eddie stayed frozen for a second. "Later works." His grin rose from ear to ear. Mike almost spit out his drink. "Dude." you say. "Gross, get a room," Dustin says.
When your free period came around, Eddie said he wanted to take you somewhere. You walked out of school, and Eddie covered your eyes. You walked for what felt like 20 minutes. He uncovered your eyes and you were at a picnic table out in the woods. "Surprise!" he says. "Where are we?" You ask. "In the woods." he sits down. "Well duh," you laugh. You sit down next to him. You took a minute to just admire him. "You are so handsome, you know that?" He got all flustered. "Is Eddie Munson blushing?" you cheer. "No," he turns away. "I think so." You lean towards him.
"I have a headache." he says. "I have a backache." you sigh. "I'll rub your back." he tries to help. "I'll give you head." you hide your smile. "What?" Eddie looks up at you. "What?" you smile. "I'm excited for that, my love, 10 pm, my house, don't be late." he has the lustful smirk plastered on his face. "Eddie Munson, you are a nerd," you laugh. "But you love this nerd." he kisses you. "Can't argue with that." you say as he starts kissing your jawline. He pulls you on his lap as he does it. You wrap your arms around his neck. He stops and looks at you. "You're so beautiful." You start blushing. "How?" you ask. "What do you mean?" he asked. "Where is this beauty, cause I don't see it?" "It's everywhere, baby!" he starts tickling you. "S-Stop it, E-Eddieee!" "I'm sorry, but I don't understand you!" "Baby, l-listen to me!" "Is that beauty I hear?" he stops. His hands are tightly wrapped around your waist. He trails his hands up your shirt.
"Repeat after me," he says, "I am beautiful." "I am beautiful." "Fuck anyone who says otherwise." "Wait," you say, "then I won't be able to fuck you-" Eddie laughed, "baby, please." "Ok, ok." "I love myself." "I love myself." "Do you believe me?" "Nope!" "Sweethearttttt!" he digs his face into your neck. "I'm sorry," you say, thinking about your arm. "For what?" you pause. "Everything." he just hugged you. "Ok," he says, "but PLEASE for the love of your boyfriend, tell me what your favorite song is!" "But why?" you shout. "Because!" he traced his cold rings up and down your body. "Then, I'm not telling you!" he looked down. You knew you weren't getting an answer. At least, not yet. "We best get going," he says looking at his watch. "Ok," you say looking down. You hate making Eddie sad. You both get up and begin to walk away
"Ellie!" you hear a firm voice shout. You turn around, and you see your dad standing there. You go in to hug him, but he pushes you away. "Look what you've done, Ellie!" he points to his wounds. "Daddy! Please! It wasn't my fault!" "You just stood there!" He shouted, shoving you to the ground. He started to choke you, "I'm dead because of you!" You struggled to breathe. "D…ad E-Ed..ie," you choke.
You take a breath and collapse on the floor. "ELLIE?" Eddie goes to comfort you. You take a second to breathe and look at Eddie. "What happened?" he shouted in fear. "My dad… he tried to kill me. H-He blames it on me." you started crying. "Oh baby, I'm sorry." "Did you see him?" You ask. "Sweetheart, there's no one there…"
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i guess what i'm going for is a roller coaster of emotions. i kinda don't like this chapter, but whatever.