I know I lied to mum about me being sick and all that , and in the process I got her worried. But then, what was I supposed to do, how was I suppose to fight my own demons. How could I just act like everything was normal.
I'm usually the strong type who wants to make everyone feel like things are okay. I always want to make everyone happy. Wait, by everyone I actually mean my mum and sister. And yea my crush whom no one knows about, not even lily or Damien my best friend.
It just so happens to be that doing all this doesn't really help that much. It really doesn't, because, just because.....
Ok fine, because you would have no one to comfort you. It's actually not my mum's or lily's, or Damien's fault, they are not seers or mind readers so I actually don't blame them for not knowing how I really felt deep down. But at least, they should have seen signs that I wasn't happy, that I was living a life that wasn't mine.
Maybe, just maybe they actually know. Maybe they just don't know how to help me. Maybe they just don't talk about it because they isn't much they can do. They just can't help it, even if they want to.i can't blame them for it
But I actually blame someone you know, my dad. He always have his way of wanting to ruin me with his bla bla bla excuses of wanting the best for me. Because why on earth would a man force his son to go for what he doesn't even want. Note, that's just one among the numerous things he always forces on me. With his over possessiveness, unavailability and terrible ideas of bonding, I am actually left wondering if he is really my dad.
Okay I am too stressed to focus on all that but I really still can't believe my dad would just call me for a private time only to announce to me that I would have to switch schools. Like I am in my final year in high school, how is he expecting me to cope. Doesn't he even care... Yea sure he doesn't.
I still hadn't told lily about it, only my mum knew for the main time. The whole idea, the whole shit is driving me crazy, the worst part is that I would be switching in like a week time and I still don't know my new school. He just had to take such a terrible decision for me without my consent. He all but forced the decision on me. I really do hate him right now.
Ok so, yea now you actually see why I had to skip school right, because I wasn't ready to face the disappointed look Damien would throw at me. I couldn't bear to go to school when I knew I only had a week to spend there. Hence my only possible option was to fake a cold, which my sweet mum had to fall for. Sorry mum
My plan actually worked and I was okay, I actually planned to keep bringing up excuses till the end of the week but then that big headed sister had to come and spoil everything. Talking me out of it, pointing out some not so important reasons why I had to face it. She made me tell her everything and yea she dived into her whole caring and supportive side. A motivational speaker in deed.
She is quite intelligent and smart but trust me, I would never say it to her face. Naa naa naaa, she would start jumping praising herself. Such an annoyingly good sister I've got. We had to talk about her own stuffs and then her annoying crazy friend came over. I literally had to make myself scarce in my own house imagine.
I spent most of the night bracing myself up and preparing to face my fears and reality
Even if it means Damien chopping off my head that's if Axel or Karen doesn't get to me first
I just had to drown my self in my gaming console and finally went to meet the girls.
Yea I went to meet them, because it's my house, I really wouldn't make myself scarce , would I ?
After the whole fun night and everything, the girls kicked me out of their room claiming they had girls talk. I stood in the middle of the room blankly looking at them and wondering if they were okay. Because was there any point of driving me out.
I actually had to fight for myself, I had to speak up
" What's the point of driving me out little children, Lily I already know that crazy friend of yours literally just wants to talk about the guys she is drooling over, while you sit there nodding and shaking your head whilst giving some sneering remarks without even contributing much."
I mentally patted myself knowing I had cracked the code
Both of them looked at me blankly for what seemed like an hour, before I noticed Lily was trying so hard not to laugh but that psycho Janie was the opposite, she looked pissed off.
Before I could register what was going on, pillows and some few stuffs were already swaying and flying in the air
I had to run for my life, I definitely ain't dying because of those two musketeers
I left the room cursing the universe while those two laughed at me like it was okay.
Laying on my bed , I couldn't help but smile thinking about the relief they always brought to me. Moments with them were always enough to keep bad thoughts and negative energy aside and to make me feel loved, happy and wanted.
I bless the heavens for giving me a sister like lily, and a friend like Janie. Wait....what did I just say...
Mental note to myself.... That crazy girl ain't my friend. No no no, because she would turn me into a crazy person as well
I finally retired for the night, trying not to think about how long and stressful Tuesday would be. And after so many sleepless nights and all, I finally had a beautiful sleep. Ok just before sub conscious left me I noticed mum came in to turn off the Air conditioner, and she probably was still worried . She watched me for so long that I lost track and dozed off , I didn't even know when she finally left.