Chereads / Seishin No Koe / Chapter 7 - Dad

Chapter 7 - Dad

Reina has been in a coma for three months now, three months since the miracle happened. Her case is new to doctors who are unfamiliar with the situation, for many if not all of them, Reina's fate was inescapable.

But against all odds, she is breathing well and that is beyond their good understanding. Especially since his symptoms fade over time. Her dry clay skin regains a normal state over the months and her destroyed organs rebuild. She is literally regenerating herself. Almost as a gecko would. But that seems to take time, at the rate that recovery is happening, they estimate she should be back to full body in five or six months.

Also, the exceptional case of Reina has circulated enormously in the medical profession to the point of spreading to the ears of certain journalistic organizations which are trying to find out more about "this girl gecko"; but Salim is adamant about keeping the matter a secret.

Nevertheless, Salim cannot prevent their appetite which gives way to rumors which spread throughout Niamey and in slightly wider borders. There would be rumors relating his rescue to powerful sorcery, or miraculous divine intervention, that his father, an old widower with a hard face, was part of a Satanist sect. The most conspiratorial even speak that a girl would be the victim of laboratory research of attempts to hybridize a human with gecko cells.

For Salim, this means absolutely nothing, he lives very well. The latter still leans a little more for divine intervention. It must be said that following this experience, Salim became a seasoned believer.

On the day of Reina's survival, he returned home very late after walking Halima and Myriam home. Halima's mother was very happy to hear that Reina had survived and so were the 64 people whom Salim called one by one the next day. Even now, Salim was not happy in the explosive sense of the term, he was even surprisingly neutral; he was obviously happy that his daughter survived, but more than excessive joy, his feeling was above all lukewarm.

He didn't know what to think about it, and what feeling would be the most right to take. Because after all, even if she survived, she could leave at any time. He even surprised himself thinking that it wouldn't matter if she left after this epic comeback.

Reina, what a prankster.

This thought of "God" often came back to Salim and although he tried to ignore it, he knew that it was in bad faith to have resorted to this way and to stop himself once his problem was settled. So he finished reading the Bible, started the Koran and went to read the Torah as well. All this in the first month. For the first time, moreover, he took leave that the boss intended to offer him anyway. After taking the first to read the sacred books, he devoted the following month to satisfying his curiosities: he went to church, questioned priests, friends in each of the religions, went to sermons, prayed curiously each of the cults. He almost believed himself in this French film where this family prayed a different worship every evening.

At that time, this learning was more for educational purposes than practical. He didn't want to know which religion to choose or even if in the end he would end up choosing one. It was a curiosity he wanted to satisfy and his main question was more the existence of God than the way by which to follow him.

To know a little more, he questioned the priests and the scholars "What proves God?" and none of the recurring answers suited him "it is in the heart", "God is spirit", "God is light".

He began by believing that all these people did not believe it or themselves did not know what to think about it. But he ends up finding his shoe by falling on a certain priest and an unsuspected scholar: the concierge.

The priest answered the question "What proves God?"

" OK. Salem, is that it? rather tell me what does God prove of Himself?"

Salim frowned and thought "Tell me?"

"Why do you want to put His arguments in my hands?"

"Because you are a priest? »

He smiles. Salim almost thought he was laughing at him. But he knew that this man knew something he was missing.

"Okay. Let's say, what principle do you want to start from? Of the one from whom He exists or the one from whom He does not exist? If he exists and that these 3 books would be from Him, He then assumes that His existence is basically justified and that every human owes obedience to Him, yet this is not the case. What do you think so?"

Salim knows that when someone who knows, plays this game with someone who does not know, one should not risk thinking too much and answering the simplest thing possible, especially on such a thorny subject. So Salim thinks of answering him…nothing at all. Salim is silent.

A silence remains suspended for half a minute and finally the man smiles at him once again and approaches.

" Perception."

" Perception?"

"Tell a bat that yellow exists, it will never believe you. Put near a human a volume so low that his ear cannot hear and tell him, will he believe you? »

Salim already understands but he does not answer to let him push his argument.

"All these things, things that exist, will never be perceived by humans for biological reasons. Does that make the existence of these things fake? Absolutely not. It just means that they are not in the same field as us. If, as a good human being, you want to believe that everything has a law and a reason, then be in good enough faith to believe that God is not in your domain and that what you can receive from Him is what that your design allows you. So I ask you again: for a human, what does God prove of Himself?"

"You assume that He exists, and if He does not exist?"

"So what does God prove of Himself against this question?"

Salim is taken with a deep sigh. They smile and shake hands.

" Thanks." Salim turns and leaves.

In the evening, the concierge made an appointment with Salim at his home, where he went at 9 p.m. The millionaire old man lived in the Liberté district, in a small, modest dwelling that suited him well. In the courtyard Salim finds a small enclosure with cattle. Hens walking around, and the smell of cattle that hits him right in the nostrils.

The old man greets him on an old bench, with water in a plastic container that he hands him. Salim smells in the water the almost sour taste of water that has soaked in the plastic.

Salim told him his story with the priest and all; the man listened to him attentively, at times Salim thought about him elsewhere, as if he were going off into distant thoughts. He saw a facet of the man who suited him marvelously: a profoundly wise father.

When he finished, the man took a good minute before speaking; at that moment he had just replied "I see". Salim meanwhile looked at a hen pecking at the sand, wondering what this hen saw but him did not see. They weren't from the same area.

"What will you do if you are convinced that He exists?" The man suddenly ask him. Always the gaze deep in thought, the monotonous voice

Salim turned his gaze to him, and confessed "I don't know, I don't want to become a practitioner."

"It would indeed be annoying to want to become one for a divinity that we do not recognize and that we do not know"

Salim has his usual fresh look but his eyes are twinkling and he seems a bit frowning

"You're telling me that's part of the plan to bamboozle me into this?"

" No. Listen: no one will ever prove anything to you, otherwise the question would have been answered since."

"Why then, why keep the question going?"

Salim knowingly acts like a novice.

"Because there are chances for each of the two answers"

"I have to think and choose?"

" It is more complicated than that. You have to go after both for your case."

" What?"

"Begin by proving that He does not exist."

Salim gives himself a second to think about it but he quickly grasped

" I didn't understand "

"How do you prove a theory's wrong?"

"By exposing it and confronting it with its flaws?"

"Expose then."

Salim looks at him again, then looks away, he thinks for a long time.

Salim wants to finish with a last attack "Is there a chance that God and the Loch Ness Monster exist?"

Salim expected it but it does not make the gentleman laugh who seems to think about it. Salim thinks it was in bad taste but he knows he shouldn't apologize or bounce on it. So he waits.

" Yes. Certainly. But, if everything needs a law and a reason, then what or who would you need: the universe and you?"

Salim feels like a son to whom his father would teach religion. He crosses his arms and straightens his legs, crossing them at the same time. He remembers that Reina's mother often spoke of faith acquired and faith inculcated. And that the noblest thing for him would be to use both. So he takes a deep breath and thinks that there would surely be nothing wrong, nothing to lose by giving it a chance.

"Once we feel ready to follow Him, how can we be sure of the best path?"

The hidden scholar is still pensive and seems to relish the question "I shouldn't say this, but all roads lead to Rome: just decide which era of Rome you want to go to."

"You chose Islam because it is the last of the three?"

" Nope. I had a beautiful voice, and I did not want to deprive myself of using it in recitation."

" Only that?"

" Only that!"

" OK." Could it be resolution in Salim's eyes?

He looks at the time and five minutes have passed. No one is speaking.

"I'm happy for your daughter"

"Hmm?"

"It's remarkable what happened to her. I didn't really understand, but I know that she did what no one could do."

"Yes… it's remarkable"

"She is healing; I understood? »

" Yes. She should find a new body in a few months.

"Incredible faculty."

" Unbelievable… "

" Thanks my God. A great drama would have happened if she had died, you would have been all alone and as vast as the Earth is, you would have felt alone in the world; and I don't want to know how you would have ended up. I am deeply happy for you."

His words are sincere and Salim is moved.

"Is that what you were afraid of?"

" Yes, a lot." His tone couldn't be more sincere

"I see…" Salim whispers.

Salim, his father has always been absent for him. His parents divorced, and his mother, a maniac, did everything to prevent them from seeing each other. His father fought heart and soul to get his son back, but justice fell on deaf ears. Finally, his mother ends up killing the father during an argument after a fit of hysteria. When it was clear to the justice of the mental disorders of the woman, and once in prison, Salim was put in an orphanage in his city in Bamako from where he fled and returned illegally to Niger. From struggles to struggles, from a criminal life in Zinder, he arrived in Niamey after serving his sentence and being able to live a normal life. There, with the concierge, he finally feels like a child, he feels loved like a son.

Another proof for him that to be anything, there is no time, just a psychology to adopt, a gap to fill. Anything can happen to anyone, anytime.

He would like to say things, but what? He has the impression that he must redo his childhood, that there is a great lack to fill.

"Salim?" Calls out the man

" Yes?"

"Be a good father." This rings heavy in Salim's ears. "Be a good father. Shine in this quality, when this girl is standing. There was an immense desire that this envelope survive so be sure to bring it to its destination."

It is true, Salim remembers: he is a father. "I am a father" recalls Salim. The gap to be filled is not his. It's her: the lack of Reina.

He now feels deeply nostalgic, finally, when he thinks back to his wife, with Reina, finally, it's finally now that he feels the feeling of a father seeing his child held down on Earth. He would almost cry but he is grateful to this man. So he kneels in front of him and kisses his hands. By repeating "I am grateful. I am grateful. I am grateful."

The old man says nothing, he caresses his shoulder.

When Salim finishes, he gets up, thanks, and goes to find his daughter.

The old man watches him leave, deep in his gaze. Maybe he felt like a father too?

It's when Salim leaves, that his eyes relax and he can also say, palms on face "I'm grateful for you."

*

Six months later, Reina now has a healthy skin, a very human skin. Salim had never seen Reina like this. She was taken out of the tank and is on a conventional bed. She just seems asleep. Doctors think it's just a matter of time before she wakes up. All of her vital functions are normal and no signs of paper disease.

Frida is seated next to her. She is reading a book, and wearing headphones. In the corner of the room can be seen a prayer mat and a small bag with an Islamic calligraphy, certainly it contains a book.

Bottles of water are on a table and pizza crusts are still in the box.

Frida is reading when a nurse comes in and says hello. Frida gives her the benefit of her magnificent smile; the nurse approaches Reina and checks the volume of the infusion and a few other points before clearing the box of pizza and leaving.

It is 10 a.m. and the weather is sumptuous, a bright sun is reflected in the immaculate white room.

Frida closes her book, closes her eyes and thinks about it, she looks fulfilled.

She is yes happy to enjoy Reina again.

She plunges into her thoughts, reopens her book and does not realize that the patient next to her has opened her eyes. She does not notice that the girl wakes up and sits up. She does not notice that the innocent is crying.

Then finally, her brain allows her to realize it and she does not know how to react, mouth open, amazement taking place. She drops her book.

Reina's body is sitting; she cries a lot but her look looks surprised. Her hair that has grown out is white and her once brown pupils are now jade.

Frida's heart beats, it beats, it beats very hard. Her eyes quickly start to get wet. She does not realize and therefore has no idea what to do.

Reina, who looks shocked by something, finally reacts and looks at Frida, she is still crying. She doesn't react either, she just looks at Frida, silent.

Frida covers her mouth with both hands, she cries… she says "My God… Reina." tearfully.

At the same time, the nurse returns with a tray which she drops. She is also left speechless. After a moment she grabs her walkie-talkie and calls the doctor.

When the doctor hears it, he does not even respond as the procedure requires, he throws his walkie and runs through the halls of the hospital. Don't run in hospital hallways.

He gets there in a sweat; he didn't know what to expect. And as soon as he opens the door, he realizes that he was not actually expecting it. A mixed-race young girl with white hair and jade eyes, her face filled with tears, sits surrounded by a loving woman and a nurse, Myriam's loving sister. Both crying, lying on the girl who doesn't seem to know what's happening to her, or at least, who knows it very well.

He does not react immediately, because he too, nevertheless, has bonded with this young girl and is deeply moved.

The girl does not look at him right away, but finally pays attention to him. She looks at him, and he has the audacity to think, "How beautiful she is!"

But when he realizes that she is trying to speak, he approaches almost shyly.

Reina moves her lips but nothing comes out; she realizes this and touches her throat.

He approaches and asks Frida and Sarah to move on. He bends down and looks seriously at the young girl. He touches her forehead, then takes out his flashlight and examines Reina's eyes carefully. He puts the lamp away and continues to look at her.

" Do you want to say something?"

Reina says and does nothing.

"You can't talk yet. Your vocal cords have been regenerated but it still takes time for your body and mind to recover from the trauma. You have lost the use of speech since you were 08 so it must not be obvious. Don't rush your ropes, don't do anything reckless just yet."

He knows she gets it. She looks at him, then she lets go of her throat, puts her hands down and seems to be thinking, very far away.

He turns to Frida and asks her if she warned Salim. She realizes no and quickly picks up her phone. He then turns to the nurse and urges her to bring him something.

She responds quickly "Yes doctor!" and runs up, wiping away her tears.

He stands there and looks at her, still pensive. Then finally he feels inspired to tell her. "Welcome back, Reina." with a frank smile.

The young one looks at him, unable to read inside her, and she plunges back into herself.

*

Salim was at a sermon, dressed in a djellaba when Frida called him. He didn't want to answer at first, but when he saw the call a fourth time, he knew it was urgent. She never calls more than twice. He expected her to scold him for not answering the third call, but no.

As soon as Reina's return was heard, he was first seized with immense worry, then this worry gave way to a thick fog in which he told himself that he did not believe it; then finally, that fog lifted in an absolute rush to be in the hospital. He got up, walked, without pushing anything and took a friend's car without giving him the reason. He drove sometimes carefully, sometimes hastily. He didn't want to rush anything.

But once there, and with every step he approached, a monstrous fear washed over him: what would he find there?

But his instincts took over and from a moment, he couldn't help but hurry.

Once in front of the door, he opened it more or less quickly, as if to give himself time to breathe, to realize all the possibilities of what he could see there and how he would react to it.

He imagines her in many states, and imagines herself in many dispositions and, he realizes that he had in no way imagined the reality: he opens, and when he sees his daughter, he thinks he is more concern by this vision than that of his dying daughter.

Certainly because her survival will have involved more than her death.

He sees (his daughter?) with snow-white hair, healthy skin, and… jade eyes? This jostles him all the more because he is charged with energy. He sees Reina's clean face without cracks, without cracks, without anything, her blinking eyes.

Reina looks at him, and her eyes sparkle, she looks more responsive than she has been since waking up. But she doesn't move, she looks at Salim who is still at the door.

Salim begins to advance when Reina mimics a broad confusion, then a look at nature endearing.

Salim slowly walks up to her, watching her closely. Everyone made place for him. They look at each other and her lips move but nothing is heard. But she said "you are there, dad."

Salim finally takes her in his arms and hot tears fall from his eyes when he gives thanks, when he is grateful. Reina grabs him and when she feels his warmth, her lips still move but nothing is heard. She said "I feel, I feel you daddy." and she also says "you have a beard daddy, and you wear a djellaba."

Frida feels desperately grateful for what she is going through.

The doctor comes in and finds the scene; he stays back at first, then he approaches with a smile. He lets some time pass before calling Salim and indicating that she must now be alone.

Frida and Salim follow him. The three find themselves in the office of the doctor who offers them a coffee, no one is in a condition to take it. They are excited enough.

"I am happy for you, it is a great relief for you and a crazy experience for medicine." The doctor is smiling.

Salim and Frida are extremely happy.

"We will do tests, but from what I have seen, everything seems to be fine. She is doing very well not to mention the malnutrition that will resolve over time; for her voice, she will be followed by a professional, she should soon be able to find this use. She will also follow training to relearn how to walk, I don't think she will be able to on her own but we will be cleared up with the exams we plan to do. Also, I wanted to tell you that for you, Reina's charges are over, you have nothing more to pay."

The news does not make Salim react

"In the end, the treatment should be around 612 million XOF with all that the paper disease will have involved in treatment and scientific research. You have invested 30 million and that is already enough. Laboratories from all over the world, and anonymous investors have invested and we have raised 3 million euros. That's way more than enough. And with this budget and a project that is taking place, we will be able to study this disease more closely and ensure that Reina is the first in a long line of recovered patients. In the end, Salim, Reina will not have suffered for nothing. Thanks to her, many people will certainly be able to live too. It is also your prodigy who supported her. You can rest, leave the rest to us now." He said so solemnly.

Salim dwells on dark times, and now that everything has cleared up, he says, "Thank you. Thank you Doctor." His posture and his voice are grateful.

Myriam and Halima were informed and Myriam was the first to come. She left behind all ego, all pride and simply became a young girl in front of an enormous benefit. Halima remained true to herself and showed her gratitude. For both of them, she held them with a wide, but exhausted smile.

Now she is alone, it is night, after staying all day, Salim and the others have returned. She is seated, still looking pensive. She looks at cards filled with messages from the girls. She takes one and reads it. At this moment, she looks a little hard, staring at thoughts she can't put aside.

When she drops it off, she lies down, closes her eyes, and remembers the trip she took 9 months ago.