"Help me, Thera," I said, leaning against a tree while wiping at my forehead.
"You are the one who wished to come here, darling," Thera replied, shooting down my need for her assistance.
I told Thera that her first duty as my dungeon keeper was to find out how I could get dinosaurs for the dungeon, and she found out how. The easiest way was to change class to monster tamer, power level, and then head to the zone full of dinosaurs.
Changing classes was as easy as equipping a different "class core." The paladin class core turned me into a paladin. The monster tamer class core turned me into a monster tamer. Unfortunately, I was only level one, so I had to power level up to the fifties which was the minimum recommended level for the dinosaur zone. Power leveling was easy but tedious. Thera was kind enough to help me out by carrying me through dungeons in exchange for promising to do the same for her if she ever felt like trying out a different class.
Then came the zone where the dinosaurs were.
The zone itself was a massive crater in the middle of some mountains. According to the lore, some people believed that a mighty explosion caused by some ancient being created the crater in the middle of the mountain range. Other people believed that it was massive meteor that crashed into the mountains. Whatever the real reason was, there was a huge crater teeming with life.
And it was life of the prehistoric variety. From the beasts to the oversized vegetation, the crater was so densely packed full of life that it was next to impossible not to bump into it with every other step.
The worst part was how disgustingly humid the zone was. Of all the things that the developers could have taken it easy on, they just had to realistically recreate the humidity of being in some sort of prehistoric jungle. It was as if all the humidity across the entire mountain range was gathered in this one crater.
As for why I needed the monster tamer class, that was because they had a special sort of interaction available with dungeons. Dungeon masters and dungeon keepers had a special interaction with dungeons. Upon taming a new creature, an option became available to transfer it to the dungeon's summoning pool. I didn't get the opportunity to tame many different creatures while leveling since Thera power leveled me… but I did tame a chicken and added it to my dungeon's summoning pool just for the meme of it.
I had a special idea in mind for the chicken.
Before I could get around to that idea, though, there was something more important to do.
It was time to tame a dinosaur.
"Well, darling? Do any catch your eye?" Thera asked, scanning the surrounding area.
"I want a T-Rex. I want to have sex as a T-Rex," I answered. If I was going to turn into a dinosaur to have sex, why not start with the king of all dinosaurs?
"Of course you would."
"Of course I would."
"To my knowledge, the only ones in this region are the wandering elites. They may be beyond your taming capabilities."
"It's alright. I've got a ton of bait."
"And if the bait does not work?"
"Then I buy a sex change, turn into a girl, and let it fuck me until it's exhausted and then tame it."
"I am tempted to complain about that being a valid strategy."
When it came to taming monsters, there were several strategies.
The first and most common strategy was to fight it – basically, to beat it into submission and then use the "Tame Monster" skill until the RNG rolled in your favor and tamed the monster.
The second strategy, and the one that I was going to try, was using bait to befriend monsters. Every offering of food to a monster allowed one usage of the skill. With enough bait, the RNG would eventually let you tame it.
And then there was the third method. The first method was fighting monsters into submission, the second method was feeding them into submission, and the third method… was fucking them into submission. Any creature in the game that one could have sex with was eligible for "defeating" via sex. This was actually the easiest method as out-lasting a monster in a fuck session resulted in the monster not only being completely exhausted, but bonding with its fucker as well. Using "Tame Monster" after fucking a monster into submission had a one hundred percent success chance.
Needless to say, most monster tamers were girls – they had female avatars, at least. As progressive as the game was, most monsters were male and they had a very strong preference for women.
The whole "fucking into submission" thing also applied to boss monsters. Just a few patches ago, the hardest raid tier—where the final boss was a massive dragon—was defeated by a raid of all girls who made the dragon cum over and over again until it was exhausted. It took over twenty girls more than an hour to use their whole bodies to pleasure the dragon's dick, mainly by grinding against it and licking it.
They got the world-first clear.
The super serious raiding guilds that were racing to complete it the normal way were less than happy about that.
"Thera, you love PvP, so shouldn't you get some practice in sex duels?" I asked. "I'll be your sparring partner anytime. Trying to out-fuck the other is just another form of PvP."
"I am disappointed in myself for thinking that was your best attempt at seducing me yet," Thera answered.
"You really love your PvP."
"There is nothing better than causing others to quit after thoroughly dominating them."
"That's hot. Dominate me."
Thera raised one of her back legs and pointed its deadly-sharp tip directly against my neck. "If I dominate you, I shall dominate you as I do everybody else. Are you sure that you would like to lose your head?"
"Listen, just because I want to fuck a spider doesn't mean that I want to be decapitated by one, too. I'm not into guro. Or vore. We'll leave the whole after-sex-eating thing to the real spiders."
Thera brought a finger up to her lips before licking them while looking me over. "But, darling, you look so… delicious. Won't you allow me such a fine feast?"
"I am both scared and aroused right now."
She eyed my crotch. "I can see that. Alas," she pulled her leg away, "I only intend to tease."
"Feel free to do some hands-on teasing."
"You would enjoy that too much."
"Are you implying that I didn't just enjoy that teasing with all my soul?"
"I am sure you did. You are the king of perversion, after all."
"I never thought I'd hear you call me that nickname."
"Your ego is large enough without me using your fans' nickname for you. What is it that they call themselves again?"
"The Lewd Legion."
"I must admit that I do like that name."
"Right? I even worked with an online shop to get some patches printed. They looked like military patches with tentacles in the middle and they said, 'Lewd Legion,' on them. I have one stitched onto my favorite jacket."
"Of course you would."
"Of course I would."
"I am curious. Have you ever had a meeting with your fans?"
"Not an official meeting or anything. I've run into people while I was out of the house, but that's it."
"Why not have an official meeting?"
"Because I'd probably fuck one of them and then regret it."
"I – that… was a surprisingly honest and unexpected answer. I have heard of reasons for not wanting to meet fans before, but I have not heard of that as a reason."
"I'm an honest man. If I meet a fan who is at least moderately attractive, and if they're into me, I'm probably going to want to put my dick in them if I get at least a tiny bit horny."
"Do you not preach self-control in your videos?"
"Do as I say, not as I do. Just kidding. Honestly, while that is one of the points, that's maybe only five percent of the reason."
"And the other ninety-five percent?"
"Despite how it may seem, I'm not that social of a person. Meeting a bunch of my fans, having to take pictures with them, signing autographs, hugging them, answering questions, talking for hours – that sounds kind of nice and all, but it also sounds exhausting. Not to mention that I have no idea what kind of people are going to be there. It's easy to back away from somebody you don't want to be around on the internet. Not so much when it's real life."
"I see. You are worried what your fans may be like?"
"Isn't everybody with even a bit of common sense? I'm sure the vast majority of them are normal perverts, but it only takes one guy in a full diaper and dried cum on his hands out of a million to ruin everything."
"That… sounded like a very specific example."
"It was a combination of examples. There was one convention with furries where the attendees threw shit-filled diapers onto cars in the parking lot, and there are stories of creepy guys jacking off and covering their hands in cum before going to shake hands with their favorite idols. If both of those are possible on their own, why not combined?"
"I was happier with the current state of humanity before you told me that."
"Suffer with me, Thera. Suffer."
"Making me suffer is no way of seducing me."
"I can do more than be thirsty for you."
"If that was an example of doing more, I would rather you solely thirst for me." Thera sighed and rubbed her forehead. "I am almost afraid to ask, but what was your worst encounter with a fan?"
"I had a guy grab my dick once. He thought I'd be okay with it since I did a video about the whole public-slash-free use fetish and thought it was hot. He apparently took that as a sign that it'd be okay to grope me in public without getting my consent first. Punched him in the face. Then some of the people who really don't like me heard about it and talked him into pressing charges. He dropped those charges as soon as it was pointed out that it all took place in front of a shop with a security camera watching the sidewalk. Then he got invited onto the podcast of this one person, who I really want to say less-than-nice things about but I won't, and shit-talked me the whole time while painting me to be some horrible person. Nobody bought it except for the people who already hated me. Even the media that usually looks for a reason to shit on me took my side because I was the one with the receipts. I've still got the video of him groping me and me punching him saved in a safe place."
"That is a video that I am very interested in seeing myself."
"I'm not comfortable uploading it online but, if you ever come to my place, I'll pull it out for you."
"I wonder what it is that you plan on pulling out for me."
"Whatever you want," I said and winked. "Wait."
"Yes?"
"I just thought of a problem.
"And that is?"
"I don't think a T-Rex can fit inside of the dungeon."
"It will be able to so long as you raise the height of the dungeon's ceiling."
"Oh. Right. You're so smart."
"You have an incredibly low bar for what constitutes intelligence."
"There's no bar higher than you, Thera."
Success.
I gave her genuine praise that was not sexual in the slightest. The result? A beautiful, blushing Thera who had to turn away so that I could not see how red I managed to turn her cheeks. Part of me was tempted to tease her about it, but that would kill the mood. I didn't want to kill that red right after causing it. So, instead, I cherished the moment and let her calm down.
There was also the fact that we were supposed to be looking for a dinosaur for me to tame. Stories and flirting could be saved for another time – a time where we weren't in a disgustingly humid, prehistoric jungle that made me sweat all over just to stand in.
It was then that I saw the first monster that caught my eye.
A deinonsaur.
Because the game developers wanted to be safe, the dinosaurs weren't actually dinosaurs. They were monsters that were inspired by dinosaurs. Even so, they were clearly unique monsters that did not exist in reality at any point in time, nor were they classified as animals. They were fictional monsters with a unique existence tied to the game.
As for the deinonsaur, which sounded humorously close to dinosaur – it was a bipedal, feathered monster with a feathered tail, a large head covered in dark spots with a beak lined by rows of sharp teeth, and it had two arms with long feathers sticking out from its sides. It sort of looked like the monster from that one game about hunting monsters that carried around large rocks to slam into people.
Because I was who I was, the first thought I had was using those large, dangerous claws at the ends of its arms to hold a girl and fuck her. Those claws were easily large enough to wrap around a girl's waist, so a girl could be held and fucked like a toy hole.
Consensually, of course.
"Darling, there are perverse thoughts going through your head right now as you look at that monster, aren't there?" Thera asked, interrupting the vivid picture in my mind.
"I want to turn into it," I answered.
"It looks like an oversized chicken."
"Hey, it looks nothing like a chicken. That's an insult to Emperor Cock."
"Emperor who?"
"I've said too much."
"Does… this have something to do with that chicken you tamed?"
"What chicken?"
"Darling."
"The only chicken I know of is the one that was in my Chinese food last night."
"What happened to being an honest man?"
"Thera, sometimes a man must do what he must. This includes lying to those who he cares about for their own good."
"For my own good, is it?"
"No, but the point stands."
"You are a strange man, darling."
"You're only just now figuring that out?"
"No, but sometimes you deceive me into believing you are but a simple pervert. This has reminded me that you are much more than that."
"Aww. Thanks, Thera. You're more than just a sexy, smart spider, too."
"Don't you have an oversized chicken to tame?"
"Not a chicken."
It wasn't a chicken but she did have a point.
I had a monster to tame.
And it was only the first of many. It wasn't like I only went to the zone to tame a single monster for my dungeon. I needed plenty of them to properly populate a dinosaur-themed section. I was going to leave the jungle with no less than five new monsters no matter how disgustingly humid it was!
But seriously, fuck humidity, and not in the fun way.