It was time to be the very best like no one ever was.
With some of the bait in hand, I spun my arm up and tossed it at the monster!
The ball of food hit the monster right on the side of its head, bounced off, and fell to the ground. Fortunately for me, the monster did not care about the fact that I hit it in the head with a dense ball of food. All it cared about was the scent coming from said food, causing it to turn its head to look down at it.
Less than a second later and that food was picked up by its beak and swallowed whole.
Next, I used Tame Monster.
Unfortunately, nothing happened after that.
So I threw another ball of food to repeat the process… and to repeat the result.
"Perhaps you should affectionately throw the food rather than like a baseball?" Thera asked, watching with crossed arms as I repeatedly threw food at the monster.
It was clear to see where the developers drew inspiration from for this method of monster taming.
"I'm going to run out of food at this rate," I sighed.
"The dinosaur-type monsters are notorious for their difficulty in taming."
"Maybe I should try fucking it into submission."
"Please do not, darling. I have no interest in watching that."
"Hm. I definitely don't want you to leave me alone out here, so not scaring you away would be smart."
"Oh? Why is it that you do not want to be alone here?" she asked with a tilted head.
I looked behind her at the pile of dead monsters I had no interest in taming. While I might not have had any interest in taming them, they had a very strong interest in devouring me alive. It didn't help that I was standing right next to one of the spawning locations for them. Fortunately, I had Thera to kill them for me every fifteen seconds.
Being alone at a lower level in that zone was a death wish.
One more monster spawned to immediately charge at me… only to get stabbed with minimum effort by Thera.
Killed by a single attack.
"Your venom is OP," I teased.
"It is. It makes me sad to know that it will one day by nerfed."
"You never know. Maybe they won't."
"Once more players become this race, more of our victims will know to complain on the forums about our venom. It is only a matter of time. The developers are horrible if they do not eventually balance us."
"At least you're at peace with it."
"Nothing good lasts forever, darling."
"I want to joke and say, 'my dick can,' but you'd still be right. A dick that lasts forever isn't a good thing, it's just annoying and tiresome."
"No woman wants to put up with a man who cannot finish."
"Hey now, no guy wants to put up with it, either. Gotta be inclusive. Well, I mean, some people might enjoy it – they might see it as a challenge. Most people won't care."
I threw another ball of food at the monster's head.
No result after another use of Tame Monster.
"I swear that this is designed to be a money sink," I sighed. Again.
"Well, it is the safest option. It is only natural for the safest option to be the most time consuming and bothersome. Are you sure you would not like for us to lower its health?"
"I'd feel about lowering the health of a monster to tame it. That's like going to the shelter, picking out a dog, and then kicking it until it likes you. That's fucked up."
"Yes, that is, but this is a monster inside of a video game who will forget all about the abuse the moment it is tamed. It likely has no memory to begin with."
"That's even more tragic. Instead of just picking out a dog, you're picking out a dog that won't remember how abusive you are and will love you with no knowledge of why it's covered in bruises." Another sigh left my lips. "I wish I could turn into a dog and fuck Lily."
"How… how do you go from comparing the situation to abusing a dog in a shelter into wanting to turn into a canine?"
"If there was really a dog being abused, I wouldn't be able to change the subject so easily. Instead, it's my own desires being abused because of laws and puritan prudes. I want to turn into a wolf and knot the fuck out of Lily, damn it. Resting on her back, my legs hanging off around her, my knot inside of her as I pump her womb full of cum – that'd be hot. I don't even know if I'm allowed to just talk about it, either! What if I'm being monitored and a moderator bans me for even talking about it in that much detail? Is going into detail about it just as bad as actually doing it? Will I get in trouble if I say that I want to turn into a wolf to pound Lily so hard that she can't walk for a day after it?"
"Are you alright? You seem to be rather bothered right now."
I sighed more in such a short time than I had in the past few months. "I got a strike on my account before—"
"Your business account?"
"Yeah, the one most of my viewers are subscribed to. Anyways, I got in trouble because I had on a guest and we were talking about the morality of taboo fetishes. He thought that exposure to things like incest porn, hentai like bestiality and loli, rape roleplay – he thought that exposure to these things degraded people's morals and would make them actually into it. I argued that it was like saying video games turned people into mass murderers and then went into pretty vivid detail about what I found hot in a purely fictional setting, and ended with saying that while I thought the fantasy was hot in fiction, it was absolutely disgusting to me in reality and I would never support or encourage real practice of it. That didn't matter. Still got in trouble. At least he ended up agreeing with me by the end of our little debate, so it wasn't a total loss."
"I must admit that I always enjoy the stories you have to tell me when we are alone like this."
"I could tell you stories like this when we're not alone, too, you know."
"I know, but it is more personal when we are alone."
Another ball of bait.
Another Tame Monster usage.
Another…
An uplifting little sound effect played as a few hearts appeared above the monster's head.
"Finally!" I cheered, putting away the ball of bait that I already had ready to throw next.
"It is about time, darling."
"Seriously. It's not even that powerful of a monster but it took me so long just to tame it."
"Have you said your daily prayers to our lord and savior?"
"No. I spit at RNGesus. I refuse to worship a god of chance. Show me the god of skill instead."
"You will have to visit Korea for that."
"What? Why – oh. I see what you did there."
"Am I wrong? Koreans always seem to win championships for games."
"Don't underestimate men in their diapers living in their mother's basement."
"I would prefer to continue underestimating them if you do not mind."
"You'll regret that."
"Is that a threat? Are you actually a man in his diaper living in his mother's basement?"
"One, my mom lives in my house, I don't live in hers."
"And the diaper?"
"Don't kinkshame."
A rare cringe appeared on Thera's face.
"I'm joking. I don't wear diapers nor am I interested in people who do," I explained.
"Thank you, darling. I was about to remove you from my friend's list."
"Wait, really?"
"Of course not."
Another sigh left my lips, but this time it was a sigh of relief. "You had me worried."
"I would have unfriended you long ago if your fetishes were an issue to me."
"I know, but still. Anyways." I finally turned my attention to the window that was floating in front of me. It gave me the option to turn the monster into one of my pets, or I could convert it into a monster to be summoned within my dungeon.
I almost felt a tiny bit bad for it. After feeding it so much and finally getting it to love me, I was just going to erase its current existence so that I could summon a copy of it inside of my dungeon.
Then I remembered how much food it took to tame.
I converted it into a dungeon monster. "I'm ready for the next one."
"Will you have enough food to last?"
"If I run out, I'll just have to fuck them."
"Please let me drain their health instead."
"You better hope I don't run out of food. If I have to fuck a monster, I will."
"Please do not run out of food."
"Then you better pray to that god of chance of yours."
In order to tame another monster, I had to actually find one that I wanted. That took even longer than trying to tame the first monster. But, eventually, we did find one.
And it was perfect.
Standing on two legs thicker than my body with a height several times my own, the monster before us had a maw large enough to fit both of our bodies in it at once with ease. Whole. Crimson and yellow formed an alternating pattern across its scales, and it was totally featherless despite scientists proving that such a creature would have had feathers when it existed in reality.
Well, when the dinosaur that it was inspired by existed.
Back to the monster in-game, it had a name truly befitting of its appearance.
Tyrant rex.
Tyrant rexes were among the most powerful of dinosaur-inspired monsters. Size, appearance, abilities – everything about them reigned supreme.
More importantly, it was the same level as me. That meant I could tame it.
Or at least I could try to tame it.
"Alright, Thera. I want that," I said, preparing a ball of food.
"Remember, darling, throw it affectionately."
"Alright. I'll throw it as affectionately as a ball of food can be thrown. Are you ready for this?"
"Pitch away."
I had no idea how else to throw something "affectionately," so I threw it slow and gently.
The ball of food barely even reached the monster's foot. That was enough, though. The tyrant rex picked it up and swallowed it with the ease that it takes a human to swallow a crumb of bread.
Then I tried the first of many-to-come Tame Monster usages.
It worked.
"It… it worked. Throwing it affectionately actually worked," I said as Thera killed yet another monster trying to eat me.
"I told you, darling. Affectionately."
I turned to look at her.
And then I affectionately threw a ball of food at her.
"Darling."
"Yes, Thera?"
"Did you just throw that at me? Did you just try to tame me as you would a monster?"
"Affectionately, yes."
"You… are incredibly endearing."
Hearing her genuine praise, which I definitely did not expect after what I did, was enough to make my heart skip just the slightest of beats as I struggled to think of how to respond.
"I have to be if I want to tame you. You're the most valuable and difficult spider to tame, after all," I teased.
"Taming is easier than you believe."
"I wish that was true."
"It is. You simply have yet to figure out how to yet."
"Do I get a hint?"
"Unfortunately, my darling, there are no guides to help you in your quest."
"I'll have to figure it out on my own then."
"There is only a single requirement left."
"That close, huh? And here I thought I was still at the beginning of the quest chain."
"Worry not, for there is another quest chain that begins at the end of this one."
"I'll look forward to it." With that being said, I turned my newest monster into another to summon back at my dungeon. "Alright, I want one more. Three should be enough to get a nice theme going on."
"Perhaps a weaker one? If the dungeon is to have themes, it would make sense for the tyrant rex to be a boss of sorts for the dinosaur section."
"You're right. There aren't really any stronger than the tyrant rex. I mean, he's the king of dinosaurs. What could be better as that section's boss? Now we've just got to find one that is weaker and also fuckable."
"One that is weaker is easy. One that is… alluring is a matter that I will leave to you."
"That's a tough one… wait. Isn't there a cave in this zone?"
"Yes, but the monsters within it are not exactly dinosaur-themed from my understanding. Furthermore, the entrance randomly moves every time after it is conquered. It is a miniature dungeon of sorts."
"But it has that inside, doesn't it?"
"That, darling?"
"You know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the penis monster. It only spawns in some caves and has a pretty long respawn timer."
"Darling… please do not tell me that is what you wish to bring to our dungeon."
"It's a glorified, giant penis with wings, two legs, and a mouth full of extremely sharp teeth to give all the vore lovers some fanservice. There might not be any actual vore, but they'll at least get to be afraid - I mean, aroused, by what those teeth could do."
"Well… if there is a sexualized art of any monster from this game, it is certainly of that one."
"You've seen that?"
"It is impossible to avoid."
"Fair enough. Anyways, it might not be too dinosaur-y, but I think that it'll fit. It could even be the boss of the section. The deinonsaur will be at the start of the section, then the tyrant rex, and then the final part of the section will be darker and more like a cave, and that's where the penis monster will be."
"Please stop referring to it as the penis monster."
"I'll name it Mr. Penis."
"Do not."
"Give me a hint about your questline."
"No."
"Mr. Penis it is."
Thera disbanded the party.
"Please no, I'm joking. I won't name it Mr. Penis."
She invited me back to a party.
After that, it took us a couple of hours of wandering around to try and find the cave entrance. We did find it, though.
Except there was a problem.
Another group of players were already there and about to head inside. And, going by the fact that they had their weapons drawn already…
They wanted to kill my giant penis monster.
Mr. Penis was in danger.