CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I should have known that reality would find a way to balance out the nightmares I was spared from last night.
Sairen stayed with me, sleeping by my side and shielding me from my nightmares. I didn't dream–I realized that I never seem to when I was with him– and it was peaceful, until a petrifying cry echoed throughout the house and I was torn from sleep.
I felt as though I was submerged in cold water, as if Matthias had dumped me into the lake again; suddenly I was completely awake, alert. Aware of every pore on my body that had risen as Aunt-Drea's screams consumed the halls. I clambered out of bed, Sairen on my heels as we disappeared into the shadows.
It took my brain a few seconds to fully grasp what I was seeing:
Black liquid covered the bed and the floor, surrounding a writhing Drea who was curled into herself on the ground, thrashing wildly on the soiled carpet. I stumbled down and wrapped my arms around her, the coldness of her skin instantly seeping into my own just by contact. Her screams bounced off of the walls as I tried to hold her steady but she squirmed frantically in my arms, grasping at her skin.
"It.. burns! " Her speech was thick from the black liquid that covered and leaked out of her mouth, soaking the front of her clothes. "I'm...brning! "
I heard the echo of feet hitting stairs somewhere at the back of my mind, signaling the others' entrance but it was like my mind was on autopilot and I couldn't even acknowledge them. In the corner of my eye, I saw Jules kneel at my side, pulling out a syringe from a case and injecting it quickly into Aunt-Drea's arm.
There was a moment of audible relief as everyone breathed a sigh at the silence that followed, our hopes high that the medicine had worked, but then she pawed at the injection site, slowly at first, then her movements became frantic and she clawed at the skin, screaming even louder. Black tears ran down her face as she bawled and spasmed.
My hands moved on their own accord until they hovered over the spot right between her eyes. Little white sparks fell from my fingers and into her face, soaking into her skin. Her eyes fell shut. The screaming stopped.
"What... did you do..?" Jules' voice was but a whisper at my side.
" She's in stasis... she'll wake when she's healed. " I stumbled to my feet but caught myself before I collapsed. "She won't be suffering now. "
My steps were blurred from the liquid pooling in my eyes as I hurried out of the room and down the hall. My bedroom was only a few more feet away but I couldn't make it, couldn't force myself to stay upright for those few little steps, so I leaned against the wall and sank to the floor, letting the tears fall.
Strong arms surrounded me and I leaned into Matt's embrace. His arms tightened around me as I cried and I held onto him as I caught my breath between sobs.
"Matty," I managed between sniffles, steadying my breathing. "you need to take Kali and leave now. You hear me? Carry her to Eçalis,"
"Soli-" He began but I cut him off.
"No! Hear me out; No one can enter Eçalis unless given permission from the council inside. Your grandfather's on the council, Matthias, Kali would be safest there. This way he won't be able to get to them. This way my dream won't come true. "
I tried to shake the image of Akali laying with her intestines ripped out and her fetus torn from her womb out of my head but it plagued my mind and the tears began falling again. I wiped at them angrily; I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to be weak. "Don't you understand, Matty? He's not bluffing and he's beginning to show me that. I can't risk anymore innocents getting caught in the crossfire. Yesterday, now today. Drea–"
I took a deep breath, swallowing my tears before I continued. "No arguments. Just do it, okay? Let me save them at least."
I looked up at him when he grew silent and I couldn't comprehend the look on his face. "What is it?"
"You keep saying them," he said. "Why do you keep saying them?"
My heart dropped as I realized I let something slip that I wasn't supposed to. "Yesterday... She didn't tell you?"
"Yesterday? She said she had something to tell me but then you fainted and I got called onto assignment right after." Matt was staring straight at my face now, right into my eyes and something was burning behind his. "What happened yesterday Soli? What didn't she tell me?"
"You should talk to Akali."
"I want to hear it from you."
"Matt—"
"Solaure!"
"Don't! Don't force me to tell you something that's not mine to say." I pulled myself from the floor and took a few steps back. " Kali is right down the hall, you can get your answers there."
Matt grabbed my hand before I walked off and stood, pulling me into a hug before pulling back and cupping my face. " I'm sorry, minion. It's just that if it's what I think it is... And Goddess knows how much I wish it is what I think it is... Then I'm scared."
"It's okay. I know." I leaned into him again, hearing his erratically beating heart. " Go talk to Kali, and then you leave okay?"
"Kali would want a goodbye first,"
"I know. I wouldn't have let her leave without one anyway. Go."
He hugged me again before taking off down the hallway.
My shadows surrounded me and the tiles at my feet turned to grass as I teleported into the woods near the house. The morning sun shone down on me through the little gaps in the trees above, the cool air filling my lungs. I looked around, seeing only trees around me, the house nowhere in sight; I balled my t-shirt into my mouth and screamed, disturbing the peace with my muffled cries.
White energy flooded from me in an angry wave, surging forward and into a few trees, slicing them apart and scaring the birds that nested there. Their smoking branches singed the grass as they fell and I fell too, letting the tears run. It felt good to have a release.
I heard a chuckle from behind me and I reached for my dagger, dread taking over as I realized it was still on my nightstand, but still I rose steadily to my feet and faced my tormenter. He lounged against a tree a few spaces away, a sickening smirk on his stupid face.
There was no fear when I addressed him now, only pure, barely contained anger. "What did you do to Andrea?"
" Nothing I said I wouldn't." He smiled, revealing perfect teeth. It was a shark's grin. "I admit though that I took some creative liberties in making her pain much more interesting for all parties involved."
He beamed, pride taking over his features. "Blood Poison. I enchanted my blood into a deadly venom that I can control in my victim's bodies. Amazing isn't it? But don't worry, I assure you that I won't let her feel as much pain in her final days. "
"My aunt is suffering and you find it amusing? "
"Yes."
I sneered at the sickening unbothered look on his face. "If I need to sacrifice my humanity for power, I'd rather die than end up a slave to it like you. "
His face hardened under his cruel smirk. It was scary how quickly he was able to make that switch from playful to deadly. "Humanity is for humans Solaure. We aren't human. And if it's death you want, it seems like you'll get it little one, since your time is running out."
He tilted his head to the side, like he did all those years ago, analyzing me. "Your power is growing... I feel its pull. It's killing you though, slowly but surely, but if you give in, harness it you'll be fine. I can help you with that, little light, because like it or not, I'm almost free, poor Andrea is almost dead and you're almost out of control. And as for your mother— well, we're almost ready to be reunited."
"Your little threats don't scare me. " Even I didn't believe that, but I held my ground anyway. He was just an apparition, I just had to wait him out.
"Oh really?" He circled the area around me. " Is that why you called me the 'boogie man' as a little girl, because you weren't scared?" He chuckled and the sound sent a chill down my spine. "I think I scare you quite a lot. So much so that you pissed your little bed because you were too frightened to take the few steps to the bathroom. And I think that before our little deadline is over, you'll call to me and submit because you know deep down that you'll never save them without my mercy. And you'll be a good girl and we'll be... happy."
"I think you should go F'kasin irlipsu . "
He shrugged, laughing. " If it makes you happy I'll try, but contrary to what many say; my penis is not that big. It wouldn't reach so far back. " He studied a singed branch on the ground and inspected it before smiling and dropping his gaze back to me.
" I know my methods may seem contradictory Solaure, but all I want is for us— you , your mother and I — to be together again. Don't you want to be with your father—"
I saw red with that statement and the cool composure I was trying to keep burned away as if kissed with fire. "Of course I want to be with my father! But you are not him, you'll never be him. My father was good."
He raised one thick, red eyebrow and scoffed . " Daemyn wasn't good. Demon spawn aren't good by nature. They mimic emotion to appear humane— " He pause his little rant, his face contorting with amusement at something he alone thought was funny.
"Did you say was? Past tense?" He laughed and it was actually filled with humor this time. "You think he's dead? Oh no, no, no, little light. He's very much alive, and in much better condition than I am, might I add. Yet I still managed to visit. "
The laughter fell from his eyes, replaced my a harshness that was always hidden beneath the surface. "Who's the better father now? "
Right then I didn't bother to keep my composure, I didn't bother to hide how much he actually scared me. I didn't care that he was seeing how vulnerable those words made me. I just needed answers. "What do you mean? "
"Hmm?" He looked up from where he was pretending to be busy with his fingernails. "Oh, he's very much still alive. In Ilairk. "
He watched my face and grinned. I already knew what he saw there; shock, hurt, betrayal, all those bad, bitter emotions that I couldn't hide even if I tried.
"I assume you have questions so I'll answer them for you; It's about time somebody did, really." His lips curled up, cruelty hidden behind a smile.
"After you were born, memorable day for us all, really—you weren't even supposed to be alive— Daemyn and I got into a little fight. He had what was mine, I wanted it back, so I tried to kill him, of course, but him being the golden child that he is, defeated me. I was badly wounded, crawled into a portal back to Ilairk but he came after me to finish the job. By that time I was already off his radar and it was some time before he found me again."
" That was the last night he left... "
"Indeed. We fought again, his army against mine— as brothers do— and well, " He extended his arms. " Here I am. I thought you knew the rest but apparently you don't. He was wounded. Severely. But certainly not dead. Things would've been a million times more easier if he were. " The words were bitter .
"How do I know that you aren't lying straight through your teeth?"
" Why would I? "
"To phase me. Make my mental weak so you can get under my skin. Make me question my father."
"All good points but I assure you I speak the truth. I'm yet to lie to you, sweetheart. After the war he sealed us in. No one can enter or exit Ilairk now. But soon. Very soon, little light." His hand came up to my face and I slapped it away but he just smiled and tucked them into the pockets of his pants.
"It seems like you have a lot to process. I'll leave you to it." His image shifted, merging into the background and he was gone, leaving me alone with my racing mind.
"Schadeux!" My shout caused the birds to scatter from their branches again. I took a deep, steady breath before speaking and willed my voice not to break as they appeared before me. "Did you know that he was alive? That my father was alive? "
Their eyes never left mine when they spoke, no hint of guilt. "Yes."
" You watched me cry myself to sleep all those nights yet you didn't say anything. Why?"
"You didn't ask, our lady. We are not allowed to interfere unless given instruction to do so. We just observe. It is the way of the Schadeux. "
"And who gave you the instructions to watch me? I thought that my shadow magic called to your kind, but I'm wrong?"
" It did, yes, but Lord Daemyn assigned us to look after you."
My jaw worked on its own accord, clenching almost painfully as I fought to keep my voice from raising. "Thank you Schaduex. You can go."
" Our lady, may we say something?"
I didn't want to hear anything else but I nodded anyway, allowing them to continue.
"Do not let the words of a fool cloud your judgment of your father. There are more than two sides to this story. "
"I'm not stupid, Schadeux. I wouldn't put my trust in anything that person says. But I'm upset because he had a point; ten years without so much of a sign to at least let me know that he was alive, yet that devil managed to visit me almost every night in my sleep while he was practically dead. "
"Your father kept his distance for your sake. The Dark One could have tracked you down earlier if he kept up communication with you."
"But he still found me anyway, didn't he? He knew where I was for a long time Schadeux, so the distance was for nothing. "
"Solaure your father loves you very much, more than you know. Everything he has done was for your safety, is for your safety. He went back into Ilairk and sealed himself away for your safety, and he's still fighting for you now. He has been searching for The Dark One so he can finally end it all ."
" And how do you know all this Schadeux? Mhmm? " I looked into their milky white eyes and commanded the truth.
There was no hesitation when they spoke. "We have been in contact since he first assigned us. "
My eye started ticking. "You've been speaking with him?"
" Yes. "
"And he couldn't even send a 'hi'. " I turned, facing the direction of the house in the distance, my fingers beating a steady rhythm onto my thigh. "Tell Daemyn that his daughter said 'hey.' Look at how easy that was."
I took my time walking back to the house, letting my stupid tears dry. Ten years. Ten years I mourned for someone that wasn't even dead. The day before he left I had begged him not to go, I told him that he could've stayed and protect us from here, by our side. I pleaded for him to stay with me, but he left anyway, claiming he had to kill him before he came back. The nights after he left for the last time I laid awake, waiting for him to come through my door like the countless times before but days turned to weeks, and weeks stretched to months and he never did.
I still remember the day my mother came to me with the news that my father might have been gone forever and I remembered all the nights I cried for him after that. I had learned to live with that grief and the guilt of not being able to make him stay, but he was alive all along and that hurt more somehow.
I sat at the foot of my bed and glared at the leather book that laid there. I hadn't dared to open it these past few weeks, its presence was almost foreboding, hinting to a sort of finality that I was afraid to discover, but I needed answers. I piled up all my hesitation into one large breath, puffed it out and grabbed the book.
The note was still pressed between the cover and the first page.
'For my Solaure,
You have always asked who you were , so I am hoping that this journal gives you some of the answers to the questions you always asked. As to why I've decided to let you read it rather than tell you? I figured it would be better this way so I won't miss any details,
Before you continue, I want you to know that no matter what you discover between these pages you will always only be to me my daughter, my light, my Soul.
~ A.M~'
I brushed my fingers along the indents where her words sank into the paper and I flipped the page.
23rd, October 2003|
'You could say that I was accustomed to death, its normalcy should have scared me but it didn't. I saw it every day, but it didn't make the pain less. It didn't make me feel less broken when all I wanted was to feel numb.
Today I found myself drawn to the bar, though I rarely ever drink , found myself craving the burning sensation of alcohol—I wanted to feel something besides pain for a while; I wanted to feel nothing. Losing mother when I was still little was hard on me but I had grown to bear the pain, now, dad was dead as well and this time I couldn't feign the strength no matter how much I wanted to.
Drea took my drink from my hand, claiming that I had too much, but I hadn't. It was only my fifth. I needed to loose myself a bit tonight so I promised her that tomorrow I'd jump head first into misery. She said no, but I downed the rest of my drink the moment she left the bar to answer her phone . I'd ask for forgiveness later.
A gust of chilly October air tore through the room when the door opened and I drew my coat closer to my body as a sudden shiver ran down my spine and the cold seeped into my pores. The air grew thick, condensed with magic. Everyone fell silent and still, frozen from the emmence power the silhouettes emanated even though there were only a few Blinded among the customers.
In the dim lighting of the bar, I made out two tall figures as they drew nearer. Their faces came into view and I couldn't help but gasp; they were beautiful. Beautiful in the way weapons were; beautiful to admire but dangerous to possess. It was obvious that were brothers: They had the same fair skin, strong jawline and sharp features but that was where the see-able similarities ended.
The slightly taller of the two had neatly styled red hair which was in stark contrast to his pin-striped grey suit, a shadow of stubble covered his jaw. He had handsome features, but it was his eyes that stood out most; they were a haunting amber that seemed to swallow the light reflecting on its surface, trapping it in a whirlpool of honey . It was clear that he was the elder even though he looked about the same age as his brother; it was the way he carried himself— walking slightly ahead and in front of his brother, the arrogance in his stance as if he was accustomed or needed to be in the lead.'
I paused and re-read the words slower. It was him. She was describing him.
'His brother was the opposite — his white hair was in contrast to his brother's flame red, while his brother's eyes were amber, his were a pale electrifying violet which radiated something contained that was waiting to be freed. He wore white from his partially unbuttoned shirt to his neat dress shoes. He was just as handsome as his brother — if not more, but while his brother's face showed arrogance his features were relaxed, uninterested; he didn't need a false display of power.'
"Papa." My voice was sore and weak when I muttered the word.
'I didn't notice when they approached me, I thought that they would've strolled past and I almost wanted them to. I didn't want to spark conversation now, especially when I was drowning in vodka and grief, but the irresponsible part of me was satisfied when they stopped by the bar.
The elder ordered a scotch, raising two slender fingers, then he took the seat Drea sat in moments before.
He said hello with a sly smile on his face and like his eyes, his voice was honey; smooth and enticing. His brother walked to the back of the bar, the customers' gazes trailing behind him.
I greeted him too, more out of curiosity than manners. I tried to place his accent but couldn't, it sounded far too ancient to be any language I knew of. I was automatically skeptical of them, not because of the power they radiated or his accent, but because of their aurae. Theirs weren't like any other I saw before; it wasn't the pale silver of Décalthians, or the vibrant green Andrea radiated, his was almost merlot and his brother....an almost black-blue radiated off him.
He introduced himself as Achar,'
"Achar." The name rolled off my tongue like poison and the Schaduex shifted around me, anxious. I finally had a name to put to the face that hunted me all these years.
'Leaving his sentence open, waiting for me to offer my name rather than be the one who asked. I contemplated for a while; It was one thing to start conversation , it was another thing entirely to give your name– especially in the world I lived in. I smiled a bit and told him that I don't give out my name to strangers.
"So what am I supposed to call you? " He asked as he sipped his scotch.
I told him that I didn't plan on staying long enough for him to call me anything. His lips curved at the rim of his glass and I couldn't help but smile back. He asked me what I was doing at a bar on a Tuesday night and said that he was here on business when I asked him the same question as he swirled the ice around in his glass.
His brother walked towards us, a stern look on his face and shook his head when he approached the bar. A shadow passed over Achar's face but he masked it as quickly as it appeared and downed the last of his drink.
His smile was strained as he introduced me to his brother, Daemyn. Calling me 'flower' since I hadn't given a name. Daemyn inclined his head in greeting and took a hold of my hand, placing a soft kiss on its surface.
I had been electrocuted — that was the only explanation for the feeling I got when our skin touched; I felt it running up from the spot his lips touched and spreading throughout my body, my hair raising as it passed. My heart sped up until I was sure it was going to burst through my chest. I knew he felt it too by the way his eyes glazed over when he looked at me. I know he felt the stars align as well.
Air came rushing back into my lungs when he released my hand and he turned to his brother, asking if they should go. Achar had somehow acquired a new drink which he was sipping steadily and offered Daemyn one, saying that they'd proceed in the morning.
He declined and said he'd be at the hotel. Daemyn gave me one last look before he left, leaving me feeling a bit disappointed. His mysterious black-blue aurae trailed behind him as he walked out the doors.
Achar and I spoke for about half an hour about nothing at all, and I learned nothing about who he was. He had taken great care in leaving out any details that might've given me a clue and I couldn't simply ask 'What are you?', now could I? My glass remained empty throughout our conversation — Drea was right; it wasn't doing me any favors. He finished off the last of his drink and stood, extending his hand for me to shake, saying he had to leave but he hoped to see me again.
I took his hand and drew back with what I hoped was subtlety; heat coursed through my hand and up my body. With Daemyn I felt exhilaration, when he touched me I felt...unnerved.
I gave him a small, tight smile and watched as he walked out the door.
I fished my journal out from under my bed when I reached home. I had tossed it there after the funeral and days had passed as it laid there abandoned, but today was special, I felt it, so I wanted to write it down in case I forget — though I don't think that will happen.
~A.M~'