CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
We landed in the foyer, immediately going on guard as we took in the darkness around us.
I detached my dagger from its holster around my thigh, tapping twice on the hilt, and the small blade extended into two larger ones. Our steps were light, inaudible, as we made our way to the hushed voices coming from somewhere down the hall. Sai opened the door slightly– only enough for him to peep through, then he pushed it open fully with a sigh... And I retracted my sword.
Matt was in the middle of the kitchen, shining the flashlight on his phone towards the low cupboards.
"Matty? What's going on here?"
He turned to me, shining the light momentarily in my eyes. "There was a huge surge of energy a while ago, caused blackouts in the entire city. Our surgers were ringing off the chain before even K.O.A.C lost power. "
"That doesn't sound good..."
" It isn't, " Jules' head poked out from the cupboards and she dusted her knees before standing, a small box in her hands. "The amount of energy needed to cut all of the power throughout Brooklyn is a lot, and whatever needs that much energy wouldn't be good... " She trailed off as she took us in. "Why are you two wet? And sandy...? "
We followed her gaze downward to the puddles of water at our feet and the bits of loose sand falling from us before meeting her stern gaze. "Clean that up."
"Yes Aunt Jules." We said simultaneously and she shook her head, handing Sairen a flashlight from the box.
"Siya can you go turn on the generator? I don't think the electricity will be back anytime soon."
"Sure. "
"And check to see if any fuses are blown,"
Their conversation became background noise as Achar's words earlier sank in. "The barrier. He's beginning to break it down."
Jules just shook her head, unsurprised. "I told you it wasn't going to be anything good—"
I was in the middle of a large room, surrounded by people I didn't know. Their cloaked faces were tilted downwards, towards the large mirror that made up the entirety of the floor. I made out cruel, anticipating stares in their reflections as they each drew out a blade from the folds of the fabric that covered them. The weapons sliced their palms, splattering their blood on the mirror below. Their whispers were in unison, and somehow the quiet chants scared me more than if their voices echoed throughout the room.
Mouthless creatures poured in, dragging hostages by their chains and pushed them beside me, and into the center of the circle the hooded figures had formed with their bodies. The hostages' throats were slit and they slumped lifeless into a pile, their various hues of blood mixing as they died. The chanting stopped, they drew back their hoods, and the raven-haired woman stood before me, a grin on her eerie face.
The mirror rippled and I was somewhere else: watching over a balcony at a setting sky that didn't belong to Earth. The four suns shone down on me as I watched over the cityscape below that was bathing in the purple-ish hues of sunset. A hand grasped the railing beside me and I subconsciously stepped away as Achar came into view but he paid me no mind, instead, he joined me silently for the sunset. His red hair was warring with a sharp wind that whipped at him, but not a hair on my head moved. His fingers laced together as he stared into the distance–a smirk of satisfaction on his face– into the distance where a thin, transparent film over the sky was weakening, shifting like a mirage in the desert. Only the image didn't bring me hope, just doom.
"Soli?" Jules's palm came softly to my forehead, her eyes clouded with concern. "Are you okay? Your eyes glazed over for a second there. "
I cleared my throat before I spoke, and wished I could've done the same with my mind. "I saw something...A vision. I think."
"What did you see?"
" I was in the same room with the cloaked people and they were sacrificing people again, then I was in Ilairk and I could see the barrier breaking. "
The lights flickered on and I winced from the sudden brightness and the slight ache that began to form at the side of my head. The deadline was coming fast but I couldn't stress myself out even more just because things weren't going exactly how we'd planned; Nothing worked out how we planned it, but how it should, and if cutting it excruciatingly close to our deadline was how it was in the cards for it to go, then we could do nothing about it.
I had begun praying again in this last month, praying to the Goddess that everything went smoothly, that everyone would be okay. I prayed that I would not be too late for Rae and for my mom. Hopefully this time she answered.
"It'll work out just fine," I said . "We have scouts and soldiers and a lock on the locations. We should be able to shut it down before he gets free. Right–It'll work out just fine. " I said again, hoping that if I said it enough times it'll happen.
"Right?" I turned to aunt Jules, and she nodded, letting a small smile pull at her lips.
"Right." She patted my cheek softly and walked to the island, picking up a cake I hadn't noticed before. "I picked it up on our way home, how about a slice to lighten the mood?"
"Thank you,"
Jules handed me the knife and lit the candles, "Well then... make a wish Soli. "
I wish everything worked out... I blew out the candles and watched as the smoke dispersed along with my wish.
I excused myself for a few minutes to get changed and check in on Aunt-Drea, then we ate cake for lunch and watched some old movies. I enjoyed my day much more than I thought I would with my mother being gone, but if only she was here, then it would have been perfect. I left three slices of cake in the freezer before we finished off the rest after dinner; one for mom, one for Aunt-Drea, and one for Rae.
I had to drag myself up the stairs when the night was over, my limbs heavy with fatigue. I wanted to just throw myself on the bed, curl up in Sai's arms and sleep, but Sairen was downing his uniform when I came into his room. "Do you have an assignment?"
" Unfortunately. I just got the alert. " He closed the last of his coat buttons and slung his swords across his back. " I would ask you if you wanted to come, but you seem tired. "
I yawned as the word left his mouth. " I really am. Be safe, okay? Come back."
"I always do."
Every ounce of tiredness disappeared along with Sairen. I couldn't bring myself to fall asleep knowing that he was out and that I would be sleeping alone. I had gotten accustomed to feeling him next to me in the night and the dreamless sleep he brought with him, and tonight I didn't feel like nightmares.
I crawled out of bed and headed to my room where I stored the candles and spell books, but I knew the formation by heart now and the incantation flowed from my lips from memory. The fire rose around me, forming a circular shield and I was transported back into that familiar place.
I was walking alongside the woman with the raven hair and her cloaked companion as they maneuvered through sparsely lit corridors. Their feet left soft thuds on the marble floors while mine remained silent. I was weightless as I drifted beside them until we came to a stop in front of a large oak door, then I somehow felt weighed down by an indescribable force that pulled at me, forcing me to enter the room. The woman pushed the door open, revealing a grand room where the moonlight shone through the open windows, casting its pale light on the large bed and at the figure lying there.
My mother laid on the bed, surrounded by flowers; the black dome that surrounded her before was now gone and Achar stood over her, stroking her hair, but the strands didn't move with his ghostly hands. He turned to face us as we entered and the look he had on his face was terrifying.
"Lilauea?"
The woman with the raven hair winced as the harsh tone of her name left his lips. "Yes, my king?"
"Why are there constant setbacks, Lilauea?"
" K.O.A.C has been patrolling the streets nonstop, keeping our targets under their surveillance. It has become harder to find sacrifices. "
" I did not put you in charge so I would be rewarded with excuses, woman." His tone was artic and cruel, the yellow of his eyes blazing with burning anger. " I ask again; why am I still stuck in Ilairk when the deadline I gave is just around the corner?!"
"I take the fault. I'll try harder, I promise. "
"Your promises mean nothing to me! You knew the plan! I was supposed to be free by now and the remaining sacrifices would've given me the rest of strength needed to set my plans in motion!"
Achar inhaled deeply and suddenly his demeanor changed and he was back to a deadly calm. " However, I suppose that K.O.A.C has always been a morally-just pain in the ass. I want to be in Alterra when the eclipse is high, so I expect results before this week is up, yes? "
Lilauae's head fell as Achar's anger weighed down on her. " Yes, my king. "
He turned back to my mother, staring at her as if she were some trophy. He tilted his head as a sort of invitation ."Come."
He called to her but I walked forward as well, drawn forward by the spell. Lilauae stood next to him, over my mother, only she didn't have the same look of admiration on her face.
Achar turned to Lilauae and laughed, his hand wrapping around her slender waist and pulling her in. His mouth crashed into hers, their lips clashing as his hand snaked up her dress, bunching it up as it went until she was bare. My eyes were glued on them, not with curiosity or simply because I wanted to see them ravage each other, but because of the fact that he was touching her. Actually touching her.
He pulled away slowly from her lips. "There is no need for jealousy Love."
The word cause a surge of shock throughout my body; he had someone, why was he still after my mother?
"I may want her, but I love you, I am connected and merged to you. That's why we are still able to touch," his hand slid up and down her back, under her silk dress. "Even when I'm in this form."
Lilauae pulled away from him and took two steps back to her cloaked companion who had been adverting his eyes. "If you love me as much as you claim to, what is her purpose."
"You know of my love for pretty things, sweetheart." He grinned as he turned back to my mother. "It is about time our Alessia is woken up, yes?"
Lilauea frowned but still raised her hands towards the sleeping person on the bed. Wisps of black trailed from her fingers and into my mother's body. Her back arched as it touched her, wrapped itself around her, then seeped into her skin. My mother's eyes flew open with a loud gasp and her face slackened as she took in her surroundings and the persons standing beside her. She tried to sit up but was restrained by something invisible.
"Achar. " My mother's speech was dry but still coated with venom, but even the bitterness in her voice seemed like honey to my ears after almost a month without her.
He smiled, and the sinister gesture lit up his face like a fire during a drought. "Flower."
I was pulled out with a sharp force that snapped my head back as I came to. Gusts of wind blew through the windows, scattering the pages and outing the flames, and I scrambled to my feet to shut them but I didn't get far before I fell.
I was out before I could scream in pain from the raging migraine.
I was in my bed when I woke up, Sairen fast asleep beside me, and I tried my hardest not to wake him up as I crawled to the bathroom. I was somehow burning up and freezing simultaneously as sweat ran in rivulets down my shivering body, and the blood spewed from my mouth as soon as I reached the toilet.
I tried to keep the retching down but the blood kept pouring, and I knew from the haze in my vision that my eyes were bleeding too.
I knew he was there without having to turn around; the hair on my skin stood as that electricity ran across my body. Sairen took the hair that fell into my face and held it away as I heaved into the bowl until nothing else came up, then I rested my head on the cool tiles of the bathroom floor and waited for the pain in my head to ease. There was the flushing of the toilet and the feel of a damp cloth wiping my face and mouth before I was lifted up and carried back to the bed.
Sarien handed me some water as he crouched down in front of the bed where I sat. He studied me, and I watched as his clear eyes trailed over me as he waited to say something —or for me to explain. I took the glass to my mouth and watched him as he waited.
Finally; "You're sick."
I took a sip of my water, wetting my dry throat in preparation for what I was about to say; There was no point in denying anymore, no matter how hard it would be to say, so I laid the glass on the table and forced the words out.
"No... I'm dying." I studied his face, but there wasn't any major reaction from my revelation, only the slightest crease of the small crescent between his brow. "You don't seem all that surprised."
He nodded and stood. "I pick up on things. Like how you always seem weaker after we train or you use your power, how there always seems to be a speck of blood on your sleeves or on your nose. " He folded his arms across his bare chest and if I hadn't been focusing on anywhere but his face, I wouldn't have noticed how hard his fists were clenched. "When were you planning on telling me?"
I swallowed a big spoon of confrontational courage and looked him straight in the eye. "I wasn't. I figured it would've been easier that way. "
"You figured that me waking up one day and finding you dead would be easier than knowing and preparing myself for it? Trying to prevent it?"
I involuntarily shrunk back from the tone he had taken on; his voice was low and composed but his anger echoed throughout the room. " Was I wrong? Wouldn't it be better for everyone if I just died instead of you guys knowing and grieving until I finally croaked, only to grieve some more?"
Sairen sighed and took a deep breath; I saw the battle between him and his composure clearly. "If Drea was well enough to hide her injury, would you want her to do this to you? To pretend everything's alright when she's suffering?"
"I..." I honestly couldn't answer that question. I had been mad at Aunt-Drea when I found out that she was hiding her injury, and no matter how much waiting around knowing that there was nothing more I could do for her hurt, I treasured the time I had with her more. I knew I wouldn't want to wake up and find her dead. It was pure hypocrisy no matter how I phrased my answer.
"Solaure since I got you back I've been asking you almost every day if you were okay and you looked me in the eye every time and said 'yes' even though you knew that I knew you were lying." He ran his hand down his face. " Fuck, Solaure. Was it that hard to tell me the truth? "
My temper went with that last sentence and I stood to face him, head to chest. "Yes! Yes, it was, it is. Because it makes it real Sairen! It becomes real that I'll never get any older than I am now because I most likely won't make it to the end of the fucking year. I didn't even know if I was going to make it to this birthday! You don't know how hard it is to go to bed and not know if you'll wake up but that's my reality Sairen. But I'm sorry that it was so hard for me to admit that, okay? I'm sorry. "
" I don't want you to be sorry Sol. I want you to tell me when you're hurting and trust that even if I can't make it better I'll be with you to help you through. " His voice softened a bit. " I'm supposed to be here for you Sol, how am I supposed to do that if you don't let me? "
Maybe it was the fear talking, maybe it was just that it was an undeniable fact that I was dying just as I finally got Sairen back and I hated it, but words that I didn't mean poured out of my mouth before I could stop them with a venom comparable to Achar's blood poison. "What if I don't want you here for me? What if I don't want you at all? If I want to be alone?"
There was only the slight clench of his jaw as a reaction. "Look me in the eyes Solaure and tell me that's what you really want and I'll let you wallow alone in your self-pity." I opened my mouth to speak but he wasn't finished. " And don't you dare lie to me anymore. "
My jaw worked as I pushed the words from my throat. "I'm allowed to feel sorry for myself sometimes because I didn't ask for this shit. Any of it!"
He didn't like that I didn't give him the answer he wanted, I could tell by the way he ran his hand across his mouth. "Well guess what, none of us did either but were sucking it the fuck up and dealing with it instead of bitching out."
I scoffed. "I'm bitching out?"
"What else are you doing? You had your tongue down my throat a few hours ago and now you don't 'want me' as you so pointedly said? You want to be alone? Am I really supposed to believe that shit when you're in my bed every night?"
My face burned and I felt the blood in my ears. I snatched my dagger and William and turned to leave. "You know what? Fuck you."
"Oh, fuck me?" His condescending snicker made me drop the items on the bed and turn towards him again.
"Yes fuck you and your damn superior attitude—I'm coping as best as I can. I don't need it. I don't need you."
Sairen nodded, slowly, his jaw working as he picked up a shirt . "Well alright then."
"Where are you going?"
"To get some sleep. You should too. You may not need me but you need to train, and that's what we're doing at six am."
"Sairen stop."
"I had a long night Solaure, we'll talk tomorrow.
"No. You can't–"
"I can't what? Leave you here alone? " He threw the shirt on the bed and turned back to me. "Then what? What do you want Solaure? You don't want me here and you don't want me to go. What do you want?"
"I don't know! Anything! Anything but this— this fucking torture. " I groaned, the strangled cry burning my throat as it came out. "I'm going insane. My mind feels like it's going to explode any minute trying to keep calm but I am scared out of my goddamn mind. And I am tired of trying to hold it together."
"Then don't!" There was a fiery intensity in his eyes, in the jade and in the steel, that made me step back. "Fucking scream if you have to, break something, but don't push me away, Solaure, because all that's going to do is make me angry and I don't like us like this. I'm not letting you go. Ever again. And you need to get that through that thick skull of yours. So call me when you've calmed down because I'm not fighting with you for no reason at all."
He stepped out and closed the door, leaving me alone with my headache. The pillows flew across the room in a sudden surge of rage and I had to remind myself to steady my breathing.
Honestly, I didn't know why I was angry at Sairen. Maybe I wasn't– maybe I was angry at myself for not being stronger, or at Achar, or simply at the world– but not Sairen, because he had done nothing other than try to help me. Maybe it was just dawning on me how close we really were to that cursed date, and when I woke up spewing blood from every hole on my face I got scared. I bitched out. I was already going to blow on my own and he just happened to be there, so I bitched out on him.
I picked at my fingers as I sat, trying to build up the courage to apologize. I didn't like apologies.
It wasn't that I didn't like admitting that I was wrong, I just didn't like confrontation; I never did, so I always tried my hardest growing up to do everything right, just to avoid seeing that look in their eyes. That disappointment. That hurt. But I was wrong and I wasn't going to let him go to sleep thinking what I said had any truth to it.
His door swung open on the second knock and I spoke before he had chance to.
"I'm sorry." He didn't say anything so I took the opportunity to continue. "You mean so, so much to me and for me to say those things to you was just cruel. I do need you. I don't think I'd survive this without you so," I sucked in my tears, forcing myself to finish without crying, " I'm sorry for trying to hurt you when you've done nothing but help me. I really am." I wiped my nose on my shirt and looked up at him, "Are you mad at me?"
He sighed. "I'm not mad at you Sol,"
"It's okay if you are; I'm mad at myself."
He squeezed my shoulders, pining my hands to my sides. "I'm not mad at you princess... Not anymore. Okay?"
"Okay?" He asked again when I didn't answer.
"Then why are you—"
His mouth met mine with a ferocity that had me stumbling back, but his grip on my waist kept me steady as his lips took mine, and I tasted my tears between our kiss. I reached out for him as he pulled away, taking my breath with him. "I'm not going to waste time being angry at you when the world might end this week. I just needed some time to process what you just told me. I still do. "
"I shouldn't have told you like that. I just–"
"Ripped it off like a band-aid?" He added and I winced.
"Yeah."
"It's fine, there wasn't much of a better way to break the news anyway, and I was an ass too. I'm sorry. " He cupped my cheek and I leaned into his touch. "Do you want to talk about it?"
I shook my head. "Not now,"
"You're not going to make me wait until next week are you?"
I shook my head , "No, no. Later. I promise."
"Come here," I walked into his arms, squeezing him tightly as he held me. "No more secrets alright? You let me know when something is bothering you. Okay?"
I nodded into his chest, inhaling his calming, familiar scent. "Okay,"
He brushed my hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear, pressing a soft, lingering kiss on my lips. "Meais courvus est meais simáe erst Ile votuà, Yes?"
I smiled. "Iternum."
My heart and soul are yours.
Eternally.